Fic: Re-Animator/From Beyond, "It's What's Inside That Counts"
Title: It's What's Inside That Counts
Fandom: Re-Animator/From Beyond (Bro'verse)
Pairing: Herbert/Dan, background Crawford/Bubba
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4028
Summary: Cutting to the chase: It's a bodyswap fic.
A/N: Uhm, warning for 85% more Pretorius than previous story.
Bro'verse Master Post: HERE
Crawford kept insisting that if Herbert was to actually see his work, he'd understand it better. Herbert insisted he wasn't interested enough to try and understand. Dan insisted he start taking an interest or he'd change all the locks on the lab and not give Herbert the keys until he took Crawford up on the offer. So, with great reluctance, Herbert found himself on the top floor of the Pretorius Foundation.
"How exactly does this house count as a 'foundation?'"
Crawford shrugged as he tapped away at the computer. "You'd have to ask him."
"Just where is this 'boss' of yours anyway?"
"He lectures."
"Really?" Herbert chuckled. "Nice to see the university is at least consistent in tenuring old perverts."
Crawford had made such a big deal about not going into Pretorius' room, Herbert naturally had to peek. He wasn't so much disturbed by the apparent deviant proclivities, rather that he didn't understand how any true genius or intellectual could let himself be obsessed with such base distractions. Never mind the other morning when Herbert had no problem with baser distractions as long as Dan's mouth kept doing that right there.
"The Resonator isn't fully functional yet, but as you see-"
"All I see is something from a bad 1950s sci-fi movie."
Crawford sighed and ignored the barb. "At this point we're working on fine-tuning the frequency and-"
Herbert let Crawford's nattering become background noise. He examined the the wall of lights and buttons. There was a panel open, exposing a set of red and yellow wires. They looked rather important. Herbert grabbed a couple and yanked them out. Quickly coiling them, he shoved them in his pocket. Crawford, still explaining something and concentrating on his computer screen, saw nothing. Herbert closed the the panel, smirking. "So, basically you're saying all it does now is light-up and make an irritating noise."
Chagrined, Crawford shrugged again. "Sort of. Except, the sound is actually imperceptible to human ears."
"Exciting. I'm going home."
"Wait! Hang on. I just made a few more recalculations. Who knows, maybe this time..." He raised his eyebrows in a hopeful expression. He got up from the desk and went up to the central machine. He grabbed the large switch and looked at Herbert. "Ready?"
"Just get on with it."
Crawford flipped the switch. There was a loud clunk, a short, high whine, and nothing else.
"So," Herbert said, "as I've always suspected: you are wasting your li-"
There was a sudden, blinding flash of white light. Then nothing.
Dan sometimes really liked the days he worked and Herbert was off. He had to deal with a lot less damage control when Herbert's bedside manner (or lack thereof) would cause offense. Not to mention that when working and living with a person, it was nice to have some time apart. But there was always that slight unease that crept over him when he didn't know exactly where Herbert was and what he was doing.
He was hoping that Herbert was a little more conscientious of not doing things that Dan would disapprove of. Then again, Herbert had done so much, too much, since Dan's known him. What exactly would be the final straw that would make Dan leave? Seriously harming someone like Crawford, perhaps. Maybe it was a testament to Herbert's need for Dan that he hasn't intentionally hurt Crawford in some time. It was a nice thought, that Herbert's behavior might be improving thanks to Dan's presence in his life.
He passed a nurse's station. "Dan!" Tiffany stood and with clicking heels bounced around the desk. "Dan, I thought you should know, Dr. Cree- I mean, your- that is Dr. West was just brought in to the ER."
"What!?" He grabbed her by the shoulders. "What happened?"
"I don't know! I just heard it from Michelle who heard from Tommy who's working ER today. I think the cute brother was brought in with him, too." Dan let go of her and sprinted down the hall.
He arrived at the ER admin desk, skidding to a halt. "Where? What?" He asked intelligently between panting breaths.
"Dr. Cain," the receptionist said with practiced calm. "I understand your concern, but you need to let Dr. McCarthy do his job. You'd only be in the way."
"But-"
"Dr. Cain!" Dan turned and saw an older man with gray, curly hair come out of the waiting room. "It's a pleasure to meet you again."
Dan shook the offered hand and tried to wrack his brain for a name to go with the unfamiliar face. "I'm sorry, but..."
The man laughed. "Of course, I supposes you weren't quite yourself at the time of our first introduction. I'm Edward Pretorius."
"Oh! Right. You're the guy Crawford works for." Dan realized they had their hands were clasped a little too long to not be awkward. He took his hand back and unconsciously wiped it on his white coat. "So, if you're here, do you know what happened?"
"Can't say, exactly. I came home and found the boys both unconscious. I couldn't wake them, so I called for an ambulance.
"Did they look hurt?"
"Physically, no. But..."
"But?"
Pretorius put an arm around Dan's shoulders. "I don't want this known by the other doctors, but when I found them I also found my machine had been turned on."
"What, exactly, does your machine do?"
"Right now? As far as I know, it does nothing. At least, not what it's suppose to."
"You should tell the attending doctor about it."
"No! No no no. My- our- project is something I don't want to become public knowledge. Not yet."
Wow, like that didn't sound familiar. "Don't worry, sir, I know how to keep a secret."
Pretorius grinned and gave Dan's shoulders a squeeze. "I thought as much."
Herbert woke up with a terrible headache. Before even opening his eyes he knew where he was. The smells and sounds was the familiar atmosphere of the hospital. Fantastic, what the hell did Crawford do to him?
He opened his eyes. They felt weird and gummy. He rubbed at them.
"Oh, good! At least one of you is awake."
Herbert closed his eyes again. "Dan. What happened?"
"We were hoping you could tell us, Crawford."
Herbert glared up at him. "What?"
"I said you need to tell us what happened. Crawford-"
"Stop calling me that! What's wrong with you? Where is Crawford?"
"Uh, you're Crawford."
"No, I'm not! Stop being a moron."
Dan laughed. "Look, maybe a nurse could get confused and put the wrong bracelet on the wrong twin, but I've known you both long enough to know the difference."
"Exactly! Which is why you're being particularly frustrating right now."
"You're the one acting weird. Clearly whatever happened to you guys messed up your brains a little. Hopefully Herbert will wake up soon."
"Dan! I am Herbert!" He sat up angrily, pulling on the wires attached to his temples. He tore them off and rubbed at his eyes again. What the hell was wrong with them? He blinked rapidly and something fell out of his left eye. It was a contact lens. He stared at it as things started making some kind of horrible sense. He touched his hair with a trembling hand. Too long in the front. He started to panic. "Where's Crawford?"
Dan sighed. "You're-"
"No. I. Am. Not! Would Crawford know you have a tattoo of a blackbird on your hip? And if he does for some reason, I'll have to kill him you understand."
Dan gaped. He hesitated before speaking again. "Herbert could have told you about that."
"Yes, because I'm so obviously the type of person who likes to discuss intimate details about my lover with family members."
"H-Herbert?"
"Thank you!" Herbert threw his arms up in exasperated relief. "Where's my brother?"
"Right next to you, other side of the curtain." Dan pointed, still gobsmacked.
Herbert threw back the divider to find himself. Well, his body. "Crawford, wake up!" He had to resist the urge to slap him. If they straightened this out quickly, he didn't want to be left with what would technically be self-inflicted wounds. "Crawfish!" He shouted.
Herbert's hijacked body twitched and muttered Herbert's name and something about a headache. Herbert grabbed Crawford by the front of his hospital gown and gave him a hard shake. "I said, wake up, damn you!"
It worked. Crawford started fighting him off. "Get off! What!?"
"Look what you've done!" Herbert pointed to his face.
Crawford squinted up at him. Herbert grabbed the glasses next to Crawford's bedside and handed them to him. "These aren't mine," Crawford said.
"Just put them on."
Crawford did and looked up again at his brother. He started. "Oh! Wow! Uhm, how? What's going on?"
"That's the million-dollar question," Dan said.
Between the four of them, Herbert, Dan, Crawford and Pretorius, it was agreed the only thing to do was to get them back to Pretorius' place. There was no other explanation than somehow the machine had caused the switch.
Without any apparent injuries and Dan's reputation for honesty, they were able to get Herbert and Crawford out of the hospital without too many questions from the attending doctor. Herbert wanted to wear his own clothes, but Dan reminded him that if they were seen it would look like Dr. West suddenly had an affinity for fuzzy sweaters.
Once back at the Pretorius house, Herbert insisted on immediately swapping clothes again before heading up to examine the Resonator. The top floor smelled of heated wires and burnt circuitry.
"The resonator was still slightly smoldering when I came home and found them," Pretorius said, "but nothing that can't be repaired, don't you think, Crawford?"
Crawford, having put his contacts in so Herbert could have his glasses back, started pulling large chords out of the machine. "The repairs will be simple, yes. But we have to try and reconstruct the conditions of the original event. What if the event was caused by damaged hardware, and repairs alter the conditions?"
"We can't reconstruct anything if the damn thing's not working, idiot," Herbert said from the desk, indignant, arms crossed.
As identical twins and in their own clothes, the scene should not have looked so bizarre. To anyone else, it probably didn't other than that it would appear Herbert was in need of a haircut, and that Crawford's barber had been a little overzealous. But for Dan, it was extremely distracting. It was painfully obvious to him that it was Crawford's face now etched with with an uncharacteristic frown, and Herbert's eyes wide and glittering in a way they just didn't. All in all it created a disturbing effect, worsened when Crawford went over to the desk and leaned over his brother to start tapping at the keyboard. Dan shuddered and looked away.
Pretorius slithered up next to him. "You can't tell me you haven't thought about it," he murmured in Dan's ear.
Dan took one step away from him. "Thought about what?"
Pretorius chuckled and spoke low enough so Herbert and Crawford couldn't hear. "Come on, I thought every man entertained a twin fantasy."
Dan took another, startled step away from the older man and gave him a mixed look of disbelief and disgust. Who asks that, especially to a relative stranger? Just what kind of pervert was Crawford living with? Dan didn't even want to dignify that sleazy question with an answer. Which was no, because it would be too complicated and would have Herbert bitching too much for it to be any fun.
In a bid to no longer be in the same room as Pretorius and to be at least a little helpful, Dan offered to go make coffee. He strongly suggested for Herbert to join him. At the first landing Dan stopped and said, "What a weirdo! I don't know how he can live with that guy."
"I know. How anyone could live with Crawford..."
"You know what I mean." Dan then told him about what Pretorius had said to him.
Herbert got an evil smirk on his face. "You think that's weird? Let me show you something."
He led Dan down the hall and opened one of the bedroom doors. Seeing what was behind it, Dan immediately closed it. "I didn't need to know that." Herbert just laughed at his discomfort. Dan grabbed Herbert and started lifting his shirt.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
"I'm looking for any signs of abuse on Crawford's body."
Herbert tore himself away. "Stop it! I don't want you touching this body. Besides, I don't feel any pain or soreness to indicate anything like that."
Dan let out a relieved breath, but immediately had another horrible thought. "What if he's up there now doing things to your body in some kind of sadistic experiment?"
Herbert shuddered, something that rarely happened. "Don't be disgusting and paranoid. Surely even someone like that can focus on work when there's work to be done."
"I dunno..." Dan looked worriedly up the stairs. "Maybe we should go back."
"Your concern for my body's virtue is touching."
Dan whipped around and started at him. "You... You're not being sarcastic!" Herbert crossed his arms and looked away, shrugging a little. "I want to kiss you right now, but that'd be kind of awkward, huh?"
"Yes. And like I said, no touching me, well this," he gestured to the body he was currently inhabiting. "Nor any touching of my body while he's in it. Just keep your hands to yourself."
Back down on the first floor, Dan was having a sense of deja vu. He said so to Herbert. "You have been here," Herbert said, not sounding particularly pleased about it. "You apparently stumbled in drunk on New Year's Eve."
"Did I?" New Year's Eve was a rather large blank spot in his memories. Drinking used to never affect him that badly. He felt like he was getting old.
The kitchen was small and nice. There was a coffee maker right by the sink, the tin of grounds sitting conveniently next to it. Herbert started rifling through the drawers. "What are you looking for?"
"Scissors."
"What for?"
Herbert didn't answer. But he did brush aside the hair that kept falling over his brow, a constant gesture since the switch. "Don't you dare! For all you know, they'll get this figured out today."
Herbert sat heavily at the table. "And if not?"
Dan considered. "Well... Worst case scenario: I suppose it's convenient this happened to identical twins."
"What do you mean?"
"It's not that big of a change for you, is it? You could get used to it."
"Used to it? It's horrible! I don't know where these hands have been. And just as I can tell what his body has or not has been through, I find it excessively upsetting he can tell the same with mine. As you should be."
"Okay, that is pretty awkward. But at least it's not like you went Freaky Friday with a woman or a sumo wrestler."
"Oh, I see. Inconvenient for you. God forbid you get stuck with someone you find unattractive."
"Come on, I'm not that shallow. You know I love you for your mind."
Herbert's eyes widened. "Don't say that."
"Say what?"
"That word."
Dan reviewed his previous remark. Ah! He smirked. "So, not allowed to say that yet, huh?"
"No."
"I'll make you a deal. I won't say it again until you say it first."
Herbert scoffed. "Then we both know you'll never say it again."
Dan's smile widened."I'll find a way to make you say it. It'll be my new hobby."
Herbert made another derisive grunt.
The coffee finished. Dan couldn't find a tray, so he grabbed a baking sheet to place the pot and four mugs on. They were just exiting the kitchen when the phone rang. Crawford came barreling down the stairs shouting, "I'll get it!" Breathless, he picked up the phone. "This is Crawford."
Dan handed the tray to Herbert and gestured for him to go on upstairs. Herbert rolled his eyes at Dan's nosiness, but went on. As he passed Crawford, he kicked his brother in the heel. Dan stayed hidden around the corner to overhear the conversation.
"I know, I'm just not feeling like myself tonight. I'm not canceling! Just postponing. Yeah, well, me too. I've got some things to, uh, straighten out. I'll call you when I do. I appreciate that, but no, nothing you could help with. Yeah, bye."
Crawford hung-up the phone and let out a long breath, raking a hand through his too short hair. Dan came around the corner, grinning. "Had to cancel a hot date?"
Crawford blushed. Again, the appearance was strange on what was actually Herbert's features. "No, not exactly. Just a friend. Sort of. We've met for coffee."
"Hey, whatever it is, I'm just happy you're making new friends, getting out of this place once in a while."
"Dan..." Crawford fidgeted. "If I need any advice on relationships and stuff..."
"Oh, hey, yeah! If you need anything, think of me as the older brother you ought to have."
Crawford's tension eased and he smiled. "Thanks."
Had he been in his own body, Dan would have ruffled Crawford's hair, but he remembered his promise to not touch either of them until they fixed this. So he just walked back up the stairs with Crawford at his side.
Herbert sent Dan back to their house for a change of clothes and other overnight needs. When he came back, Crawford scampered off to make a bedroom ready for Dan and Herbert. "We should check the room for hidden cameras," Dan muttered.
"I'm far more concerned with your motives than his. I'm not sharing a bed with you."
"Come on, I promise not to touch."
"No. You're a serial cuddler, even in your sleep. If I do decide to sleep, I'll find another room."
"One with a lock on."
"Naturally."
Crawford and Pretorius worked late into the night. Herbert stayed with them, not that he understood anything going on. Still, he wanted to supervise. It was his life, mind, and body at stake. Plus, Dan's concerns hadn't fallen on completely deaf ears. Herbert took a knife from the kitchen just in case Pretorius' curiosity became too hands-on. At the moment, the older man's interest stayed verbal.
Pretorius was at the computer. "Surely, as a medical man, you see this an opportunity to determine how much physical reaction is affected by memories, personality, or even sense memory."
"My only concern is getting back in my own skin."
"For example," Pretorius continued, "I know young Crawford is quite fond of cherry ice cream. Now, in your body would he taste the ice cream the way you do and perhaps not like it? Vice versa, perhaps you would love it because you're tasting it with his taste buds."
"Wouldn't know. Don't care."
"It'd be an easy enough experiment to conduct. We should still have some left."
Crawford was on the floor, working on some hardware. He cleared his throat. "Ah, actually, we're out again."
"Oh. Never mind. How about Dr. Cain, then?"
"What about him?" Herbert thought of the knife in his jacket pocket.
"I imagine his presence normally inspires a physical reaction given the nature of your relationship."
Herbert shot a glare at his apparently gossipy younger brother. Pretorius laughed. "No, he's never said anything in so many words. But you are rather obvious." He pushed away from the computer and came around to sit on the edge of the desk. "So, Dr. Cain. Do you find that you react to his presence the same way now as you do in your own body? Or Crawford, does being in the body Dr. Cain has had such intimate contact with cause different feelings in you?"
"It better not," Herbert glowered. "And this questioning is pointless."
"Does it make you uncomfortable, Dr. West?"
"It makes me angry and if you don't shut up..."
"Herbert!" Crawford sprung to his feet and stood between his brother and his boss. "Edward didn't mean to be offensive. Just scientific curiosity."
Stupid, naïve, little brother. "It seems to me that 'Doctor' Pretorius is far less curious about science than his other pursuits." He turned back to the older man. "You're a big a fraud as Hills was."
Crawford came forward and dragged Herbert out of the room to the first landing. "Stop it! You don't know what you're talking about. You can't just come into a man's house, a man who's help you need, and be so- so insulting to him!"
"What, am I to worship blindly at his feet like you do?"
"Herbert, maybe you just need to get some rest. This has been stressful for all of us."
Herbert rubbed his eyes. He'd never say it, but Crawford had a point. The mental and physical stress of the day was compounded by his inability to do anything about their situation. He didn't like feeling so out of control of his own fate. He took the knife out of his pocket and handed it to Crawford. "In case he gets 'scientifically curious' again."
Herbert dozed on the sofa in the living room. He was roused by Dan shaking his shoulder. "I was just woken, too. They think they're ready."
Everyone gathered again in the Resonator room. Watching Crawford input the final code, Herbert overheard Pretorius talking to Dan. He was saying something about someone "wanting discipline" and "needing to be taken in hand." Dan said nothing in return, didn't even look at the other man, just took several steps away and projected "stop talking to me" body language. Poor Dan, too polite to tell Pretorius to fuck-off and keep his salacious fantasies to himself.
"Hey, is it safe for all of us to be in here when you turn it on?" Dan asked, "What if we all get mind swapped or something?"
"You and I are perfectly safe," Pretorius said. "I have a hypothesis that the machine affected them as it did because as identical twins they already possess a psychic link to allow such a transfer."
"Nonsense," said Herbert.
"He has a point, Herbert, there have been studies and reports that twins-"
"Shut up, Crawfish, I don't have a 'special' connection with you. Let's just get this over with."
Crawford took a deep breath and looked directly into his own/his brother's eyes. "Here goes." He flipped the switch. The machine made a familiar click and whine. Herbert squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation of the next step. The flash of white light was still blinding, even from behind his eyelids.
Everything went dark.
When Herbert opened his eyes it was to Dan leaning over him. He also had a vicious headache. "Herbert?" Dan was saying, voice laced with worry. "Is that you in there?"
Herbert blinked. Damn contact lenses! Wait, he had been wearing his glasses while Crawford... He touched his hair. His relief to be back in his own body was so great, he started to laugh.
Dan started laughing, too. "Yeah, it's you with your maniacal laugh." Dan grabbed Herbert's hands and hauled him to his feet. Herbert stopped laughing only because Dan instantly started kissing him.
"What's that for?" Herbert asked, breaking it off, not that he wasn't liking it.
"For when you wouldn't let me earlier."
Dan kissed him again, framing Herbert's face with his hands. Herbert, remembering they had an audience, gently pushed Dan away. Unfazed by the action Dan asked, "How're you feeling?"
"Headache again. A little jittery."
"Sorry," Crawford said as Pretorius helped him off the floor. "I did have a lot of coffee last night."
"Great." Herbert looked down at himself and grimaced at the fuzzy sweater and brown pants he was wearing. He stalked up to Crawford and took his glasses back from off his face. "I'm changing and we're going home, Dan, where I can take a scalding shower. I want the suit he's wearing burned. We're never come back here again!"
He grabbed Dan's arm and stormed out of the room, giving Pretorius one last disgusted look.
Fandom: Re-Animator/From Beyond (Bro'verse)
Pairing: Herbert/Dan, background Crawford/Bubba
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4028
Summary: Cutting to the chase: It's a bodyswap fic.
A/N: Uhm, warning for 85% more Pretorius than previous story.
Bro'verse Master Post: HERE
Crawford kept insisting that if Herbert was to actually see his work, he'd understand it better. Herbert insisted he wasn't interested enough to try and understand. Dan insisted he start taking an interest or he'd change all the locks on the lab and not give Herbert the keys until he took Crawford up on the offer. So, with great reluctance, Herbert found himself on the top floor of the Pretorius Foundation.
"How exactly does this house count as a 'foundation?'"
Crawford shrugged as he tapped away at the computer. "You'd have to ask him."
"Just where is this 'boss' of yours anyway?"
"He lectures."
"Really?" Herbert chuckled. "Nice to see the university is at least consistent in tenuring old perverts."
Crawford had made such a big deal about not going into Pretorius' room, Herbert naturally had to peek. He wasn't so much disturbed by the apparent deviant proclivities, rather that he didn't understand how any true genius or intellectual could let himself be obsessed with such base distractions. Never mind the other morning when Herbert had no problem with baser distractions as long as Dan's mouth kept doing that right there.
"The Resonator isn't fully functional yet, but as you see-"
"All I see is something from a bad 1950s sci-fi movie."
Crawford sighed and ignored the barb. "At this point we're working on fine-tuning the frequency and-"
Herbert let Crawford's nattering become background noise. He examined the the wall of lights and buttons. There was a panel open, exposing a set of red and yellow wires. They looked rather important. Herbert grabbed a couple and yanked them out. Quickly coiling them, he shoved them in his pocket. Crawford, still explaining something and concentrating on his computer screen, saw nothing. Herbert closed the the panel, smirking. "So, basically you're saying all it does now is light-up and make an irritating noise."
Chagrined, Crawford shrugged again. "Sort of. Except, the sound is actually imperceptible to human ears."
"Exciting. I'm going home."
"Wait! Hang on. I just made a few more recalculations. Who knows, maybe this time..." He raised his eyebrows in a hopeful expression. He got up from the desk and went up to the central machine. He grabbed the large switch and looked at Herbert. "Ready?"
"Just get on with it."
Crawford flipped the switch. There was a loud clunk, a short, high whine, and nothing else.
"So," Herbert said, "as I've always suspected: you are wasting your li-"
There was a sudden, blinding flash of white light. Then nothing.
Dan sometimes really liked the days he worked and Herbert was off. He had to deal with a lot less damage control when Herbert's bedside manner (or lack thereof) would cause offense. Not to mention that when working and living with a person, it was nice to have some time apart. But there was always that slight unease that crept over him when he didn't know exactly where Herbert was and what he was doing.
He was hoping that Herbert was a little more conscientious of not doing things that Dan would disapprove of. Then again, Herbert had done so much, too much, since Dan's known him. What exactly would be the final straw that would make Dan leave? Seriously harming someone like Crawford, perhaps. Maybe it was a testament to Herbert's need for Dan that he hasn't intentionally hurt Crawford in some time. It was a nice thought, that Herbert's behavior might be improving thanks to Dan's presence in his life.
He passed a nurse's station. "Dan!" Tiffany stood and with clicking heels bounced around the desk. "Dan, I thought you should know, Dr. Cree- I mean, your- that is Dr. West was just brought in to the ER."
"What!?" He grabbed her by the shoulders. "What happened?"
"I don't know! I just heard it from Michelle who heard from Tommy who's working ER today. I think the cute brother was brought in with him, too." Dan let go of her and sprinted down the hall.
He arrived at the ER admin desk, skidding to a halt. "Where? What?" He asked intelligently between panting breaths.
"Dr. Cain," the receptionist said with practiced calm. "I understand your concern, but you need to let Dr. McCarthy do his job. You'd only be in the way."
"But-"
"Dr. Cain!" Dan turned and saw an older man with gray, curly hair come out of the waiting room. "It's a pleasure to meet you again."
Dan shook the offered hand and tried to wrack his brain for a name to go with the unfamiliar face. "I'm sorry, but..."
The man laughed. "Of course, I supposes you weren't quite yourself at the time of our first introduction. I'm Edward Pretorius."
"Oh! Right. You're the guy Crawford works for." Dan realized they had their hands were clasped a little too long to not be awkward. He took his hand back and unconsciously wiped it on his white coat. "So, if you're here, do you know what happened?"
"Can't say, exactly. I came home and found the boys both unconscious. I couldn't wake them, so I called for an ambulance.
"Did they look hurt?"
"Physically, no. But..."
"But?"
Pretorius put an arm around Dan's shoulders. "I don't want this known by the other doctors, but when I found them I also found my machine had been turned on."
"What, exactly, does your machine do?"
"Right now? As far as I know, it does nothing. At least, not what it's suppose to."
"You should tell the attending doctor about it."
"No! No no no. My- our- project is something I don't want to become public knowledge. Not yet."
Wow, like that didn't sound familiar. "Don't worry, sir, I know how to keep a secret."
Pretorius grinned and gave Dan's shoulders a squeeze. "I thought as much."
Herbert woke up with a terrible headache. Before even opening his eyes he knew where he was. The smells and sounds was the familiar atmosphere of the hospital. Fantastic, what the hell did Crawford do to him?
He opened his eyes. They felt weird and gummy. He rubbed at them.
"Oh, good! At least one of you is awake."
Herbert closed his eyes again. "Dan. What happened?"
"We were hoping you could tell us, Crawford."
Herbert glared up at him. "What?"
"I said you need to tell us what happened. Crawford-"
"Stop calling me that! What's wrong with you? Where is Crawford?"
"Uh, you're Crawford."
"No, I'm not! Stop being a moron."
Dan laughed. "Look, maybe a nurse could get confused and put the wrong bracelet on the wrong twin, but I've known you both long enough to know the difference."
"Exactly! Which is why you're being particularly frustrating right now."
"You're the one acting weird. Clearly whatever happened to you guys messed up your brains a little. Hopefully Herbert will wake up soon."
"Dan! I am Herbert!" He sat up angrily, pulling on the wires attached to his temples. He tore them off and rubbed at his eyes again. What the hell was wrong with them? He blinked rapidly and something fell out of his left eye. It was a contact lens. He stared at it as things started making some kind of horrible sense. He touched his hair with a trembling hand. Too long in the front. He started to panic. "Where's Crawford?"
Dan sighed. "You're-"
"No. I. Am. Not! Would Crawford know you have a tattoo of a blackbird on your hip? And if he does for some reason, I'll have to kill him you understand."
Dan gaped. He hesitated before speaking again. "Herbert could have told you about that."
"Yes, because I'm so obviously the type of person who likes to discuss intimate details about my lover with family members."
"H-Herbert?"
"Thank you!" Herbert threw his arms up in exasperated relief. "Where's my brother?"
"Right next to you, other side of the curtain." Dan pointed, still gobsmacked.
Herbert threw back the divider to find himself. Well, his body. "Crawford, wake up!" He had to resist the urge to slap him. If they straightened this out quickly, he didn't want to be left with what would technically be self-inflicted wounds. "Crawfish!" He shouted.
Herbert's hijacked body twitched and muttered Herbert's name and something about a headache. Herbert grabbed Crawford by the front of his hospital gown and gave him a hard shake. "I said, wake up, damn you!"
It worked. Crawford started fighting him off. "Get off! What!?"
"Look what you've done!" Herbert pointed to his face.
Crawford squinted up at him. Herbert grabbed the glasses next to Crawford's bedside and handed them to him. "These aren't mine," Crawford said.
"Just put them on."
Crawford did and looked up again at his brother. He started. "Oh! Wow! Uhm, how? What's going on?"
"That's the million-dollar question," Dan said.
Between the four of them, Herbert, Dan, Crawford and Pretorius, it was agreed the only thing to do was to get them back to Pretorius' place. There was no other explanation than somehow the machine had caused the switch.
Without any apparent injuries and Dan's reputation for honesty, they were able to get Herbert and Crawford out of the hospital without too many questions from the attending doctor. Herbert wanted to wear his own clothes, but Dan reminded him that if they were seen it would look like Dr. West suddenly had an affinity for fuzzy sweaters.
Once back at the Pretorius house, Herbert insisted on immediately swapping clothes again before heading up to examine the Resonator. The top floor smelled of heated wires and burnt circuitry.
"The resonator was still slightly smoldering when I came home and found them," Pretorius said, "but nothing that can't be repaired, don't you think, Crawford?"
Crawford, having put his contacts in so Herbert could have his glasses back, started pulling large chords out of the machine. "The repairs will be simple, yes. But we have to try and reconstruct the conditions of the original event. What if the event was caused by damaged hardware, and repairs alter the conditions?"
"We can't reconstruct anything if the damn thing's not working, idiot," Herbert said from the desk, indignant, arms crossed.
As identical twins and in their own clothes, the scene should not have looked so bizarre. To anyone else, it probably didn't other than that it would appear Herbert was in need of a haircut, and that Crawford's barber had been a little overzealous. But for Dan, it was extremely distracting. It was painfully obvious to him that it was Crawford's face now etched with with an uncharacteristic frown, and Herbert's eyes wide and glittering in a way they just didn't. All in all it created a disturbing effect, worsened when Crawford went over to the desk and leaned over his brother to start tapping at the keyboard. Dan shuddered and looked away.
Pretorius slithered up next to him. "You can't tell me you haven't thought about it," he murmured in Dan's ear.
Dan took one step away from him. "Thought about what?"
Pretorius chuckled and spoke low enough so Herbert and Crawford couldn't hear. "Come on, I thought every man entertained a twin fantasy."
Dan took another, startled step away from the older man and gave him a mixed look of disbelief and disgust. Who asks that, especially to a relative stranger? Just what kind of pervert was Crawford living with? Dan didn't even want to dignify that sleazy question with an answer. Which was no, because it would be too complicated and would have Herbert bitching too much for it to be any fun.
In a bid to no longer be in the same room as Pretorius and to be at least a little helpful, Dan offered to go make coffee. He strongly suggested for Herbert to join him. At the first landing Dan stopped and said, "What a weirdo! I don't know how he can live with that guy."
"I know. How anyone could live with Crawford..."
"You know what I mean." Dan then told him about what Pretorius had said to him.
Herbert got an evil smirk on his face. "You think that's weird? Let me show you something."
He led Dan down the hall and opened one of the bedroom doors. Seeing what was behind it, Dan immediately closed it. "I didn't need to know that." Herbert just laughed at his discomfort. Dan grabbed Herbert and started lifting his shirt.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
"I'm looking for any signs of abuse on Crawford's body."
Herbert tore himself away. "Stop it! I don't want you touching this body. Besides, I don't feel any pain or soreness to indicate anything like that."
Dan let out a relieved breath, but immediately had another horrible thought. "What if he's up there now doing things to your body in some kind of sadistic experiment?"
Herbert shuddered, something that rarely happened. "Don't be disgusting and paranoid. Surely even someone like that can focus on work when there's work to be done."
"I dunno..." Dan looked worriedly up the stairs. "Maybe we should go back."
"Your concern for my body's virtue is touching."
Dan whipped around and started at him. "You... You're not being sarcastic!" Herbert crossed his arms and looked away, shrugging a little. "I want to kiss you right now, but that'd be kind of awkward, huh?"
"Yes. And like I said, no touching me, well this," he gestured to the body he was currently inhabiting. "Nor any touching of my body while he's in it. Just keep your hands to yourself."
Back down on the first floor, Dan was having a sense of deja vu. He said so to Herbert. "You have been here," Herbert said, not sounding particularly pleased about it. "You apparently stumbled in drunk on New Year's Eve."
"Did I?" New Year's Eve was a rather large blank spot in his memories. Drinking used to never affect him that badly. He felt like he was getting old.
The kitchen was small and nice. There was a coffee maker right by the sink, the tin of grounds sitting conveniently next to it. Herbert started rifling through the drawers. "What are you looking for?"
"Scissors."
"What for?"
Herbert didn't answer. But he did brush aside the hair that kept falling over his brow, a constant gesture since the switch. "Don't you dare! For all you know, they'll get this figured out today."
Herbert sat heavily at the table. "And if not?"
Dan considered. "Well... Worst case scenario: I suppose it's convenient this happened to identical twins."
"What do you mean?"
"It's not that big of a change for you, is it? You could get used to it."
"Used to it? It's horrible! I don't know where these hands have been. And just as I can tell what his body has or not has been through, I find it excessively upsetting he can tell the same with mine. As you should be."
"Okay, that is pretty awkward. But at least it's not like you went Freaky Friday with a woman or a sumo wrestler."
"Oh, I see. Inconvenient for you. God forbid you get stuck with someone you find unattractive."
"Come on, I'm not that shallow. You know I love you for your mind."
Herbert's eyes widened. "Don't say that."
"Say what?"
"That word."
Dan reviewed his previous remark. Ah! He smirked. "So, not allowed to say that yet, huh?"
"No."
"I'll make you a deal. I won't say it again until you say it first."
Herbert scoffed. "Then we both know you'll never say it again."
Dan's smile widened."I'll find a way to make you say it. It'll be my new hobby."
Herbert made another derisive grunt.
The coffee finished. Dan couldn't find a tray, so he grabbed a baking sheet to place the pot and four mugs on. They were just exiting the kitchen when the phone rang. Crawford came barreling down the stairs shouting, "I'll get it!" Breathless, he picked up the phone. "This is Crawford."
Dan handed the tray to Herbert and gestured for him to go on upstairs. Herbert rolled his eyes at Dan's nosiness, but went on. As he passed Crawford, he kicked his brother in the heel. Dan stayed hidden around the corner to overhear the conversation.
"I know, I'm just not feeling like myself tonight. I'm not canceling! Just postponing. Yeah, well, me too. I've got some things to, uh, straighten out. I'll call you when I do. I appreciate that, but no, nothing you could help with. Yeah, bye."
Crawford hung-up the phone and let out a long breath, raking a hand through his too short hair. Dan came around the corner, grinning. "Had to cancel a hot date?"
Crawford blushed. Again, the appearance was strange on what was actually Herbert's features. "No, not exactly. Just a friend. Sort of. We've met for coffee."
"Hey, whatever it is, I'm just happy you're making new friends, getting out of this place once in a while."
"Dan..." Crawford fidgeted. "If I need any advice on relationships and stuff..."
"Oh, hey, yeah! If you need anything, think of me as the older brother you ought to have."
Crawford's tension eased and he smiled. "Thanks."
Had he been in his own body, Dan would have ruffled Crawford's hair, but he remembered his promise to not touch either of them until they fixed this. So he just walked back up the stairs with Crawford at his side.
Herbert sent Dan back to their house for a change of clothes and other overnight needs. When he came back, Crawford scampered off to make a bedroom ready for Dan and Herbert. "We should check the room for hidden cameras," Dan muttered.
"I'm far more concerned with your motives than his. I'm not sharing a bed with you."
"Come on, I promise not to touch."
"No. You're a serial cuddler, even in your sleep. If I do decide to sleep, I'll find another room."
"One with a lock on."
"Naturally."
Crawford and Pretorius worked late into the night. Herbert stayed with them, not that he understood anything going on. Still, he wanted to supervise. It was his life, mind, and body at stake. Plus, Dan's concerns hadn't fallen on completely deaf ears. Herbert took a knife from the kitchen just in case Pretorius' curiosity became too hands-on. At the moment, the older man's interest stayed verbal.
Pretorius was at the computer. "Surely, as a medical man, you see this an opportunity to determine how much physical reaction is affected by memories, personality, or even sense memory."
"My only concern is getting back in my own skin."
"For example," Pretorius continued, "I know young Crawford is quite fond of cherry ice cream. Now, in your body would he taste the ice cream the way you do and perhaps not like it? Vice versa, perhaps you would love it because you're tasting it with his taste buds."
"Wouldn't know. Don't care."
"It'd be an easy enough experiment to conduct. We should still have some left."
Crawford was on the floor, working on some hardware. He cleared his throat. "Ah, actually, we're out again."
"Oh. Never mind. How about Dr. Cain, then?"
"What about him?" Herbert thought of the knife in his jacket pocket.
"I imagine his presence normally inspires a physical reaction given the nature of your relationship."
Herbert shot a glare at his apparently gossipy younger brother. Pretorius laughed. "No, he's never said anything in so many words. But you are rather obvious." He pushed away from the computer and came around to sit on the edge of the desk. "So, Dr. Cain. Do you find that you react to his presence the same way now as you do in your own body? Or Crawford, does being in the body Dr. Cain has had such intimate contact with cause different feelings in you?"
"It better not," Herbert glowered. "And this questioning is pointless."
"Does it make you uncomfortable, Dr. West?"
"It makes me angry and if you don't shut up..."
"Herbert!" Crawford sprung to his feet and stood between his brother and his boss. "Edward didn't mean to be offensive. Just scientific curiosity."
Stupid, naïve, little brother. "It seems to me that 'Doctor' Pretorius is far less curious about science than his other pursuits." He turned back to the older man. "You're a big a fraud as Hills was."
Crawford came forward and dragged Herbert out of the room to the first landing. "Stop it! You don't know what you're talking about. You can't just come into a man's house, a man who's help you need, and be so- so insulting to him!"
"What, am I to worship blindly at his feet like you do?"
"Herbert, maybe you just need to get some rest. This has been stressful for all of us."
Herbert rubbed his eyes. He'd never say it, but Crawford had a point. The mental and physical stress of the day was compounded by his inability to do anything about their situation. He didn't like feeling so out of control of his own fate. He took the knife out of his pocket and handed it to Crawford. "In case he gets 'scientifically curious' again."
Herbert dozed on the sofa in the living room. He was roused by Dan shaking his shoulder. "I was just woken, too. They think they're ready."
Everyone gathered again in the Resonator room. Watching Crawford input the final code, Herbert overheard Pretorius talking to Dan. He was saying something about someone "wanting discipline" and "needing to be taken in hand." Dan said nothing in return, didn't even look at the other man, just took several steps away and projected "stop talking to me" body language. Poor Dan, too polite to tell Pretorius to fuck-off and keep his salacious fantasies to himself.
"Hey, is it safe for all of us to be in here when you turn it on?" Dan asked, "What if we all get mind swapped or something?"
"You and I are perfectly safe," Pretorius said. "I have a hypothesis that the machine affected them as it did because as identical twins they already possess a psychic link to allow such a transfer."
"Nonsense," said Herbert.
"He has a point, Herbert, there have been studies and reports that twins-"
"Shut up, Crawfish, I don't have a 'special' connection with you. Let's just get this over with."
Crawford took a deep breath and looked directly into his own/his brother's eyes. "Here goes." He flipped the switch. The machine made a familiar click and whine. Herbert squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation of the next step. The flash of white light was still blinding, even from behind his eyelids.
Everything went dark.
When Herbert opened his eyes it was to Dan leaning over him. He also had a vicious headache. "Herbert?" Dan was saying, voice laced with worry. "Is that you in there?"
Herbert blinked. Damn contact lenses! Wait, he had been wearing his glasses while Crawford... He touched his hair. His relief to be back in his own body was so great, he started to laugh.
Dan started laughing, too. "Yeah, it's you with your maniacal laugh." Dan grabbed Herbert's hands and hauled him to his feet. Herbert stopped laughing only because Dan instantly started kissing him.
"What's that for?" Herbert asked, breaking it off, not that he wasn't liking it.
"For when you wouldn't let me earlier."
Dan kissed him again, framing Herbert's face with his hands. Herbert, remembering they had an audience, gently pushed Dan away. Unfazed by the action Dan asked, "How're you feeling?"
"Headache again. A little jittery."
"Sorry," Crawford said as Pretorius helped him off the floor. "I did have a lot of coffee last night."
"Great." Herbert looked down at himself and grimaced at the fuzzy sweater and brown pants he was wearing. He stalked up to Crawford and took his glasses back from off his face. "I'm changing and we're going home, Dan, where I can take a scalding shower. I want the suit he's wearing burned. We're never come back here again!"
He grabbed Dan's arm and stormed out of the room, giving Pretorius one last disgusted look.