Fic: Re-Animator/From Beyond, "With Friends (and Family) Like These..."
Title: With Friends (and Family) Like These...
Fandom: Re-Animator/From Beyond (Bro'verse)
Pairings: Herbert/Dan, Dan/Crawford UST (agh, still!?), Crawford/Other UST
Rating: PG-13 (sexual innuendo)
Word Count: 2897
Summary: Crawford's quiet night-in does not go as planned. At least he makes a new friend.
A/N: Happy New Year! Let's ring it in with an all-Crawford fic!
Bro'verse Master Post: HERE
On a night when most people would be out engaging in rowdy, drunken, debauches, Crawford Tillinghast was looking forward to a quiet night in, alone with his new video game. Pretorius was about to leave, planning on staying out till the small hours at his special club. He had invited Crawford to come along as his guest. Crawford politely declined, trying not to imagine what went on at the sort of clubs Edward Pretorius was a member of.
Crawford was up in the top room, at his computer, saving the files containing the days work.
"Crawford! Get the door!"
Crawford sighed. He couldn't even hear the bell or knocking from the top floor. But Crawford always seemed to be the one to go answer it like a little butler instead of a science assistant. At least running up and down the stairs was keeping him shape, he reasoned. On his way down he passed Pretorius' room. The door opened.
"If it's that nosy, old biddy again, just bat your eyelashes at her. That always seems to calm people down."
"Uhm, okay?"
The door slammed shut again.
Continuing downstairs, Crawford tried to recall ever batting his eyelashes at anyone. The bell kept insistingly ringing. "Okay, okay," Crawford muttered, opening the door. It wasn't the "old biddy" nor any other neighbors. "Dan?" Dan Cain was bracing himself against the door frame. He reeked of beer and cigarettes. "What are you doing?"
"I'm not going back."
"To the bar?" Crawford guessed.
Dan shook his head. "To him."
Oh. "I thought everything was good with you guys now."
"Good? How can anything good come from that selfish prick. Doesn't give a damn about anyone. Hey, it's cold."
"Where's your coat?"
"Left it in the bar. Or the cab." He frowned in thought.
Crawford was relieved that Dan hadn't been driving in his current state. He looked over his shoulder to the staircase. "I guess you should come in, then." Dan more lurched than stepped forward. "Watch for the cables."
"What? Oh!" Dan tripped and stumbled a bit, but recovered with the help of Crawford's hands on his shoulders. He maneuvered him to the living room and let him drop on the sofa.
Dan took in his surroundings. "So, this is where you live."
"Yep."
"Everything's very...old."
"Dan, I'm going to call my brother."
"No! Let him wallow in his loneliness."
"He's probably worried about you."
"Ha! He only worries about his work! Relationships are give and take. And I give, give, give. All give, no taking for me. Because you know what he gives? Nothing!"
"Crawford, is there a problem?" Pretorius finally came downstairs. He had his trench coat on and carrying a black case similar to a physician's. No doubt it contained his "party supplies."
"No, no problem," Crawford said.
Pretorius stepped further in the room. "Then who is this strapping, young man?"
The way Edward leered made Crawford's skin itch. "Uh, this is my friend, Dr. Dan Cain. Dan, this is Edward Pretorius."
"Ah, yes, the brother's little friend."
Dan just looked at Pretorius through narrowed eyes. He waved Crawford closer and pulled him down by his sweater collar. "This guy looks like a pervert. He hasn't touched you, has he?"
Crawford straightened, horrified. Dan's whisper was a loud, stage kind, easily overheard. Crawford floundered for an appropriate apology.
But Pretorius just laughed. "Impudent, isn't he?" He approached Crawford. "Well, I'm off." Crawford started as Edward stuck a hand down his front pant pocket and said, "Don't do anything I wouldn't," with a wink. "Have fun boys!" He called, waving over his shoulder.
The front door closed behind him.
Crawford stood there, in shock, forgetting how to breathe or close his mouth.
"Hey, you got anything to drink?"
Dan jolted Crawford out of his stupor. He frowned at Dan disapprovingly. "Yes. Water."
Crawford went to the kitchen, mind churning with what to do with Dan. Herbert wouldn't like hearing that Dan had showed up there. He was filling a glass at the sink when he was startled yet again. Dan had followed him. All of Crawford's muscles tensed as Dan wrapped his arms around his waist from behind.
"Should have been you," Dan said into his neck. "You're nice, and cute, and almost normal, and have nice sweaters. If we met first..."
"You would have still been with Meg and you wouldn't have given me a second glance." Crawford didn't like being unkind, but it was true. And Dan was in need of a verbal slap at the moment.
Dan made a pathetic whining sound. "Don't be mean, too..." He kissed Crawford's neck.
Crawford shoved Dan away. "Don't. Don't do anything you'll regret later." He tried to sound firm, but it wasn't one of Crawford's strengths.
"My only regret is ever letting Herbert West into my life!"
"I think you should lie down, sleep this off."
Dan's expression soured. "You're more like him than I thought. Killjoys." He shoved Crawford further away, losing a bit of his own balance. Dan wobbled from the kitchen.
Crawford followed to make sure he navigated the cables safely. He watched him flop back on the sofa. He backed out of the room and went for the phone. He dialed Herbert's number. No response. Either he was absorbed in his work, sulking, or had left the house in search of his missing roommate, or boyfriend or whatever the hell was going on with them now.
It was frustrating. Crawford hadn't been jealous of Herbert having Dan specifically. It was more that he had someone so handsome and nice, so devoted to him and Herbert was constantly unappreciative. It grated, especially when Crawford never had someone like that in his life.
Someone was at the door. Crawford fervently hoped it was his brother. Maybe with him there as mediator, Herbert and Dan could work through this latest row.
It wasn't Herbert. It was a tall stranger who took one look at Crawford and chuckled. "Oh, yeah, you're next of kin all right."
"I'm sorry?"
The man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a badge. "Sgt. Brownlee with the Arkham P.D. Do you know where your brother is Dr. Tillinghast?"
Oh, no. What sort of trouble was Herbert getting himself into now? "No... I haven't seen or spoken to him since Christmas."
"What about his friend, Dr. Daniel Cain?"
Crawford resisted the urge to look behind him in a telling gesture. "W-what exactly is this about?"
"Christmas trees."
"Christmas trees?"
"Is there an echo? Residents close to the cemetery have been reporting the old trees they put outside on their porches have gone missing tonight. Witnesses describe seeing a man fitting your brother's description. Though, I suppose it'd be your description, too." The policeman laughed again, a warm, rich sound.
"I'm sure there are several small, dark-haired men in Arkham."
"You're right. But only one has a history involving strange, green chemicals."
Crawford blanched. He struggled, wondering what was more important: helping the police or protecting family. "I still don't understand." Crawford tried the eyelash-batting thing Edward had mentioned earlier.
He wasn't sure if he pulled-off looking naïve, and innocent, but it did seem to give the sergeant pause. "Uh... One tree was recovered. It had green sap oozing from its trunk."
Crawford sighed. Well, clearly this was getting too complicated. He was about to let the policeman in when Dan shouted for him. "Crawford! It's cold! What are you doing with the door open? And I need more to drink, I'm sobering." Dan was shuffling into the foyer, rubbing his forehead.
"Dan, it's the police."
"Dr. Cain?"
Crawford stepped aside and invited the policeman in, and finally shut the front door.
"Whatever he's done," Dan was saying, "I have nothing to do with it."
"And who's 'he,' Dr. Cain?"
"Well, Herbert! Why else would you be here? He's done something stupid just because he's bored or lonely. It's his own damn fault! I wanted to go out tonight like normal people. And you'd think that after all the stuff I've done for him, that this one time, just one time we could do something together that I think is fun!"
During Dan's rant Sgt. Brownlee's radio squawked. "Bubba," he answered and listened to what sounded like nothing but garbled static to Crawford. "Thanks." He turned back to Crawford and Dan. "Thank you for your time, but Dr. West has just been picked-up."
"Serves him right!" Dan huffed.
"You mean he's been arrested?"
"For trespassing. At the moment."
"Can you take us to the station?"
"I don't want to see him," Dan said.
"You don't have to, but you shouldn't stay here alone."
"Sure, I can take you downtown." The sergeant grinned.
Crawford was glad the officer was plain clothes and didn't drive a squad car. He could see the curtains across the street twitch. Crawford sat in the back with Dan, making sure his friend didn't get too sick. He considered the officer driving them. Crawford had to talk to the police before: once while Dan and Herbert were being investigated after the Miskatonic Massacre, and a couple times when neighbor complaints had brought cops to Pretorius' door. None of them were as friendly and pleasant and this Sgt. Brownlee.
"Sergeant?"
"You can call me Bubba."
"Oh, okay. Bubba. You said my brother has been arrested for trespassing 'at the moment.' What else could he be facing?"
"Well, there's theft, at least the trees not on the curb, but still on porches or in yards. And we're going to get that green sap examined, see if it's a harmful substance being introduced into the environment. How you doing back there, Dr. Cain?" Dan clutched his head and moaned. "Don't throw-up in my car. Thought I was done with that shit when I got out of uniform."
At the station, Crawford left Dan in a waiting area, close to a water cooler. Bubba took Crawford to the cells. Herbert was in a large cell where some New Year's revelers had also ended up already. Herbert was pacing while trying to keep his distance from anyone else.
"Hey, Doc, visitor!" Bubba called. "Dr. Tillinghast, I got to go. But you need anything, guard's right there."
When he heard he had a visitor, Herbert's eyes glimmered in hope, but they were quickly extinguished when he saw it was only Crawford."What are you doing here?"
"I was being questioned when you got caught. So, I asked the officer to bring us."
"Us?"
"Dan's with me."
"What? What is he doing with you?"
"Being drunk and stupid, mostly complaining about you."
Herbert rolled his eyes. "Just because being somewhere crowded, smoky, and surrounded by intoxicated morons has absolutely no appeal to me."
Crawford eyed the cell's other occupants, but refrained from remarking on the irony. "Did you call your lawyer?"
"Of course! Should be here any moment, considering how much he's paid."
"You could be in a lot of trouble this time."
"'This time'? You think playing with a couple trees is what's going to put me away?"
"Capone was finally caught on tax fraud."
"You're an idiot."
"I'm not the one who went on some kind of experiment-laden rampage just because I had a tiff with my boyfriend!"
A chorus of "Oooh"s came from the rest of the cell.
"Hey, Doc," Bubba came back, guard at his side, "lawyer's here."
Herbert straightened himself as the guard unlocked the door and slid it open. A man in an expensive suit and a grin as greasy as his hair put his hand out, which Herbert ignored. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Dr. West."
"You mean it's a pleasure to see my sister's money. Let's get this over with."
"By the way," Bubba was saying as he escorted Crawford out of the cell area by a different route Herbert left, "your friend has fallen asleep or passed-out. Think you should get him home."
"Oh, I see. I'll have to call for a cab, then."
"Don't worry, I'll take you."
"Are you sure? Aren't you busy?"
"Actually, shift's over. It'll be a personal favor."
"Okay, thanks." Crawford was completely unaware how his eyes batted when he smiled at Bubba.
They bundled Dan into the backseat, but Crawford sat in front to give directions to Dan and Herbert's house.
"That brother of yours is a piece of work."
"That's one way of putting it."
"So, you're twins or something?"
"Yeah."
Bubba whistled. "So, how'd you turn out so good?"
Crawford raised his eyebrows. "How do you know I'm 'good'?"
"I dunno. Just a sense. You don't give off the creepy vibes that the doc does."
"Thanks. I guess."
"What's his story, then?" Bubba asked, jerking his head towards the backseat. "I know you can't choose your family, but..."
Crawford was not comfortable with discussing that with someone he just met, no matter how congenial. After all, it wasn't his tale to tell. So all he said was "It's complicated."
"Ahuh. Like that is it?" Crawford said nothing. "Don't worry. That doesn't bother me at all. Not at all." He laughed.
They pulled into the driveway. Crawford started to open his door, but Bubba stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Hey, you need help with him?"
"Thanks, but you've already done more than enough."
"Above and beyond, that's my code. Here, here's my card. If you need anything, okay?"
Crawford took it and slipped it in his pocket. "Thanks."
Crawford hauled Dan out of the backseat. He was conscious enough not to be too much trouble for Crawford. Bubba rolled down his window. "Hope everything works out for you guys. See you around." He waved and drove off.
Crawford had a set of keys for the house. Dan had given them to him in case of emergencies. Herbert, of course, didn't know. He reached into his pocket. His keys weren't there, but he did pull out a small object. He squinted at it. It was a small tube of lube. Edward must have slipped it in during that awkward moment before he left. The keys were in the other pocket.
He couldn't make it up the stairs with Dan leaning on him, so he left him on the couch. Crawford collapsed into one of the worn chairs and sighed deeply.
He didn't know he had fallen asleep until awoken by Dan groaning. Crawford stood over him, ready to get anything he needed. Dan opened his eyes the tiniest crack. "Herbert?"
"Sorry. Crawford."
Dan moaned and curled up on himself. "Where is he?"
Crawford decided Dan wasn't well enough to start getting into that. "Why don't I get you a glass of water and some aspirins?"
Dan squinted up at him again. Slowly, he sat up. "Where is he?" He asked again with a touch of impatience. Clearly, he saw through Crawford's evasiveness.
"You look really bad. I should get you something." Crawford retreated to the kitchen for the water and pills. He took the time to try and figure out how to explain last night if Dan truly didn't remember it. Back in the living room, Crawford sat down next to Dan and handed him the glass and aspirin.
"You know, this is the second holiday in a row I've woken up like this." He took the pills, grimaced, and took deep breaths.
Crawford placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "What do you remember about last night?"
"I don't..." Dan rubbed at his temples. "We had a fight. I decided to go out alone. Went to a bar or two. That's it."
"Oh, I see."
"What time is it?"
"About 4:00 a.m."
"Crawford," Dan was getting worried, "I have to know."
"Nothing to tell." Herbert breezed in, looking smug as a cat. He glared at Crawford. "You can stop comforting him now."
Crawford immediately removed his hand and stood. "What happened? They let you go?"
Herbert brushed past him to take his place at Dan's side. "They had nothing. It was dark, so witness descriptions are hardly completely credible. As if I'm the only short, dark-haired man with glasses in Arkham. And as for the tree supposedly containing 'toxic chemicals,' they found no trace of any such thing." He laughed. "Didn't expect it to evaporate like that. Fortunate. And for trespassing? I was merely caught taking a shortcut. A fine will be paid, and that will be that."
"So, no going back to the station? No court?" No seeing that cheery cop again so soon.
"Don't sound so disappointed, little brother." Herbert had starting massaging Dan's temples with his thumbs. Dan closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. "Are you still here?" Herbert asked Crawford, not looking at him.
"I'll call a cab, then." Crawford walked away from what looked to be the start of their reconciliation. He found a phone and yellow pages in Dan's study. Once he made the call, he went back to the living room. Herbert was taking a still greenish-looking Dan upstairs. "I'll see myself out."
"Please do."
And Crawford was left alone. He suddenly remembered to check to see if even had money for a cab. He stuck his hands in his pockets. He did. He also held in his hands again the lube and Bubba's card. Crawford shook his head and waited at the window for the cab to arrive.
Fandom: Re-Animator/From Beyond (Bro'verse)
Pairings: Herbert/Dan, Dan/Crawford UST (agh, still!?), Crawford/Other UST
Rating: PG-13 (sexual innuendo)
Word Count: 2897
Summary: Crawford's quiet night-in does not go as planned. At least he makes a new friend.
A/N: Happy New Year! Let's ring it in with an all-Crawford fic!
Bro'verse Master Post: HERE
On a night when most people would be out engaging in rowdy, drunken, debauches, Crawford Tillinghast was looking forward to a quiet night in, alone with his new video game. Pretorius was about to leave, planning on staying out till the small hours at his special club. He had invited Crawford to come along as his guest. Crawford politely declined, trying not to imagine what went on at the sort of clubs Edward Pretorius was a member of.
Crawford was up in the top room, at his computer, saving the files containing the days work.
"Crawford! Get the door!"
Crawford sighed. He couldn't even hear the bell or knocking from the top floor. But Crawford always seemed to be the one to go answer it like a little butler instead of a science assistant. At least running up and down the stairs was keeping him shape, he reasoned. On his way down he passed Pretorius' room. The door opened.
"If it's that nosy, old biddy again, just bat your eyelashes at her. That always seems to calm people down."
"Uhm, okay?"
The door slammed shut again.
Continuing downstairs, Crawford tried to recall ever batting his eyelashes at anyone. The bell kept insistingly ringing. "Okay, okay," Crawford muttered, opening the door. It wasn't the "old biddy" nor any other neighbors. "Dan?" Dan Cain was bracing himself against the door frame. He reeked of beer and cigarettes. "What are you doing?"
"I'm not going back."
"To the bar?" Crawford guessed.
Dan shook his head. "To him."
Oh. "I thought everything was good with you guys now."
"Good? How can anything good come from that selfish prick. Doesn't give a damn about anyone. Hey, it's cold."
"Where's your coat?"
"Left it in the bar. Or the cab." He frowned in thought.
Crawford was relieved that Dan hadn't been driving in his current state. He looked over his shoulder to the staircase. "I guess you should come in, then." Dan more lurched than stepped forward. "Watch for the cables."
"What? Oh!" Dan tripped and stumbled a bit, but recovered with the help of Crawford's hands on his shoulders. He maneuvered him to the living room and let him drop on the sofa.
Dan took in his surroundings. "So, this is where you live."
"Yep."
"Everything's very...old."
"Dan, I'm going to call my brother."
"No! Let him wallow in his loneliness."
"He's probably worried about you."
"Ha! He only worries about his work! Relationships are give and take. And I give, give, give. All give, no taking for me. Because you know what he gives? Nothing!"
"Crawford, is there a problem?" Pretorius finally came downstairs. He had his trench coat on and carrying a black case similar to a physician's. No doubt it contained his "party supplies."
"No, no problem," Crawford said.
Pretorius stepped further in the room. "Then who is this strapping, young man?"
The way Edward leered made Crawford's skin itch. "Uh, this is my friend, Dr. Dan Cain. Dan, this is Edward Pretorius."
"Ah, yes, the brother's little friend."
Dan just looked at Pretorius through narrowed eyes. He waved Crawford closer and pulled him down by his sweater collar. "This guy looks like a pervert. He hasn't touched you, has he?"
Crawford straightened, horrified. Dan's whisper was a loud, stage kind, easily overheard. Crawford floundered for an appropriate apology.
But Pretorius just laughed. "Impudent, isn't he?" He approached Crawford. "Well, I'm off." Crawford started as Edward stuck a hand down his front pant pocket and said, "Don't do anything I wouldn't," with a wink. "Have fun boys!" He called, waving over his shoulder.
The front door closed behind him.
Crawford stood there, in shock, forgetting how to breathe or close his mouth.
"Hey, you got anything to drink?"
Dan jolted Crawford out of his stupor. He frowned at Dan disapprovingly. "Yes. Water."
Crawford went to the kitchen, mind churning with what to do with Dan. Herbert wouldn't like hearing that Dan had showed up there. He was filling a glass at the sink when he was startled yet again. Dan had followed him. All of Crawford's muscles tensed as Dan wrapped his arms around his waist from behind.
"Should have been you," Dan said into his neck. "You're nice, and cute, and almost normal, and have nice sweaters. If we met first..."
"You would have still been with Meg and you wouldn't have given me a second glance." Crawford didn't like being unkind, but it was true. And Dan was in need of a verbal slap at the moment.
Dan made a pathetic whining sound. "Don't be mean, too..." He kissed Crawford's neck.
Crawford shoved Dan away. "Don't. Don't do anything you'll regret later." He tried to sound firm, but it wasn't one of Crawford's strengths.
"My only regret is ever letting Herbert West into my life!"
"I think you should lie down, sleep this off."
Dan's expression soured. "You're more like him than I thought. Killjoys." He shoved Crawford further away, losing a bit of his own balance. Dan wobbled from the kitchen.
Crawford followed to make sure he navigated the cables safely. He watched him flop back on the sofa. He backed out of the room and went for the phone. He dialed Herbert's number. No response. Either he was absorbed in his work, sulking, or had left the house in search of his missing roommate, or boyfriend or whatever the hell was going on with them now.
It was frustrating. Crawford hadn't been jealous of Herbert having Dan specifically. It was more that he had someone so handsome and nice, so devoted to him and Herbert was constantly unappreciative. It grated, especially when Crawford never had someone like that in his life.
Someone was at the door. Crawford fervently hoped it was his brother. Maybe with him there as mediator, Herbert and Dan could work through this latest row.
It wasn't Herbert. It was a tall stranger who took one look at Crawford and chuckled. "Oh, yeah, you're next of kin all right."
"I'm sorry?"
The man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a badge. "Sgt. Brownlee with the Arkham P.D. Do you know where your brother is Dr. Tillinghast?"
Oh, no. What sort of trouble was Herbert getting himself into now? "No... I haven't seen or spoken to him since Christmas."
"What about his friend, Dr. Daniel Cain?"
Crawford resisted the urge to look behind him in a telling gesture. "W-what exactly is this about?"
"Christmas trees."
"Christmas trees?"
"Is there an echo? Residents close to the cemetery have been reporting the old trees they put outside on their porches have gone missing tonight. Witnesses describe seeing a man fitting your brother's description. Though, I suppose it'd be your description, too." The policeman laughed again, a warm, rich sound.
"I'm sure there are several small, dark-haired men in Arkham."
"You're right. But only one has a history involving strange, green chemicals."
Crawford blanched. He struggled, wondering what was more important: helping the police or protecting family. "I still don't understand." Crawford tried the eyelash-batting thing Edward had mentioned earlier.
He wasn't sure if he pulled-off looking naïve, and innocent, but it did seem to give the sergeant pause. "Uh... One tree was recovered. It had green sap oozing from its trunk."
Crawford sighed. Well, clearly this was getting too complicated. He was about to let the policeman in when Dan shouted for him. "Crawford! It's cold! What are you doing with the door open? And I need more to drink, I'm sobering." Dan was shuffling into the foyer, rubbing his forehead.
"Dan, it's the police."
"Dr. Cain?"
Crawford stepped aside and invited the policeman in, and finally shut the front door.
"Whatever he's done," Dan was saying, "I have nothing to do with it."
"And who's 'he,' Dr. Cain?"
"Well, Herbert! Why else would you be here? He's done something stupid just because he's bored or lonely. It's his own damn fault! I wanted to go out tonight like normal people. And you'd think that after all the stuff I've done for him, that this one time, just one time we could do something together that I think is fun!"
During Dan's rant Sgt. Brownlee's radio squawked. "Bubba," he answered and listened to what sounded like nothing but garbled static to Crawford. "Thanks." He turned back to Crawford and Dan. "Thank you for your time, but Dr. West has just been picked-up."
"Serves him right!" Dan huffed.
"You mean he's been arrested?"
"For trespassing. At the moment."
"Can you take us to the station?"
"I don't want to see him," Dan said.
"You don't have to, but you shouldn't stay here alone."
"Sure, I can take you downtown." The sergeant grinned.
Crawford was glad the officer was plain clothes and didn't drive a squad car. He could see the curtains across the street twitch. Crawford sat in the back with Dan, making sure his friend didn't get too sick. He considered the officer driving them. Crawford had to talk to the police before: once while Dan and Herbert were being investigated after the Miskatonic Massacre, and a couple times when neighbor complaints had brought cops to Pretorius' door. None of them were as friendly and pleasant and this Sgt. Brownlee.
"Sergeant?"
"You can call me Bubba."
"Oh, okay. Bubba. You said my brother has been arrested for trespassing 'at the moment.' What else could he be facing?"
"Well, there's theft, at least the trees not on the curb, but still on porches or in yards. And we're going to get that green sap examined, see if it's a harmful substance being introduced into the environment. How you doing back there, Dr. Cain?" Dan clutched his head and moaned. "Don't throw-up in my car. Thought I was done with that shit when I got out of uniform."
At the station, Crawford left Dan in a waiting area, close to a water cooler. Bubba took Crawford to the cells. Herbert was in a large cell where some New Year's revelers had also ended up already. Herbert was pacing while trying to keep his distance from anyone else.
"Hey, Doc, visitor!" Bubba called. "Dr. Tillinghast, I got to go. But you need anything, guard's right there."
When he heard he had a visitor, Herbert's eyes glimmered in hope, but they were quickly extinguished when he saw it was only Crawford."What are you doing here?"
"I was being questioned when you got caught. So, I asked the officer to bring us."
"Us?"
"Dan's with me."
"What? What is he doing with you?"
"Being drunk and stupid, mostly complaining about you."
Herbert rolled his eyes. "Just because being somewhere crowded, smoky, and surrounded by intoxicated morons has absolutely no appeal to me."
Crawford eyed the cell's other occupants, but refrained from remarking on the irony. "Did you call your lawyer?"
"Of course! Should be here any moment, considering how much he's paid."
"You could be in a lot of trouble this time."
"'This time'? You think playing with a couple trees is what's going to put me away?"
"Capone was finally caught on tax fraud."
"You're an idiot."
"I'm not the one who went on some kind of experiment-laden rampage just because I had a tiff with my boyfriend!"
A chorus of "Oooh"s came from the rest of the cell.
"Hey, Doc," Bubba came back, guard at his side, "lawyer's here."
Herbert straightened himself as the guard unlocked the door and slid it open. A man in an expensive suit and a grin as greasy as his hair put his hand out, which Herbert ignored. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Dr. West."
"You mean it's a pleasure to see my sister's money. Let's get this over with."
"By the way," Bubba was saying as he escorted Crawford out of the cell area by a different route Herbert left, "your friend has fallen asleep or passed-out. Think you should get him home."
"Oh, I see. I'll have to call for a cab, then."
"Don't worry, I'll take you."
"Are you sure? Aren't you busy?"
"Actually, shift's over. It'll be a personal favor."
"Okay, thanks." Crawford was completely unaware how his eyes batted when he smiled at Bubba.
They bundled Dan into the backseat, but Crawford sat in front to give directions to Dan and Herbert's house.
"That brother of yours is a piece of work."
"That's one way of putting it."
"So, you're twins or something?"
"Yeah."
Bubba whistled. "So, how'd you turn out so good?"
Crawford raised his eyebrows. "How do you know I'm 'good'?"
"I dunno. Just a sense. You don't give off the creepy vibes that the doc does."
"Thanks. I guess."
"What's his story, then?" Bubba asked, jerking his head towards the backseat. "I know you can't choose your family, but..."
Crawford was not comfortable with discussing that with someone he just met, no matter how congenial. After all, it wasn't his tale to tell. So all he said was "It's complicated."
"Ahuh. Like that is it?" Crawford said nothing. "Don't worry. That doesn't bother me at all. Not at all." He laughed.
They pulled into the driveway. Crawford started to open his door, but Bubba stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Hey, you need help with him?"
"Thanks, but you've already done more than enough."
"Above and beyond, that's my code. Here, here's my card. If you need anything, okay?"
Crawford took it and slipped it in his pocket. "Thanks."
Crawford hauled Dan out of the backseat. He was conscious enough not to be too much trouble for Crawford. Bubba rolled down his window. "Hope everything works out for you guys. See you around." He waved and drove off.
Crawford had a set of keys for the house. Dan had given them to him in case of emergencies. Herbert, of course, didn't know. He reached into his pocket. His keys weren't there, but he did pull out a small object. He squinted at it. It was a small tube of lube. Edward must have slipped it in during that awkward moment before he left. The keys were in the other pocket.
He couldn't make it up the stairs with Dan leaning on him, so he left him on the couch. Crawford collapsed into one of the worn chairs and sighed deeply.
He didn't know he had fallen asleep until awoken by Dan groaning. Crawford stood over him, ready to get anything he needed. Dan opened his eyes the tiniest crack. "Herbert?"
"Sorry. Crawford."
Dan moaned and curled up on himself. "Where is he?"
Crawford decided Dan wasn't well enough to start getting into that. "Why don't I get you a glass of water and some aspirins?"
Dan squinted up at him again. Slowly, he sat up. "Where is he?" He asked again with a touch of impatience. Clearly, he saw through Crawford's evasiveness.
"You look really bad. I should get you something." Crawford retreated to the kitchen for the water and pills. He took the time to try and figure out how to explain last night if Dan truly didn't remember it. Back in the living room, Crawford sat down next to Dan and handed him the glass and aspirin.
"You know, this is the second holiday in a row I've woken up like this." He took the pills, grimaced, and took deep breaths.
Crawford placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "What do you remember about last night?"
"I don't..." Dan rubbed at his temples. "We had a fight. I decided to go out alone. Went to a bar or two. That's it."
"Oh, I see."
"What time is it?"
"About 4:00 a.m."
"Crawford," Dan was getting worried, "I have to know."
"Nothing to tell." Herbert breezed in, looking smug as a cat. He glared at Crawford. "You can stop comforting him now."
Crawford immediately removed his hand and stood. "What happened? They let you go?"
Herbert brushed past him to take his place at Dan's side. "They had nothing. It was dark, so witness descriptions are hardly completely credible. As if I'm the only short, dark-haired man with glasses in Arkham. And as for the tree supposedly containing 'toxic chemicals,' they found no trace of any such thing." He laughed. "Didn't expect it to evaporate like that. Fortunate. And for trespassing? I was merely caught taking a shortcut. A fine will be paid, and that will be that."
"So, no going back to the station? No court?" No seeing that cheery cop again so soon.
"Don't sound so disappointed, little brother." Herbert had starting massaging Dan's temples with his thumbs. Dan closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. "Are you still here?" Herbert asked Crawford, not looking at him.
"I'll call a cab, then." Crawford walked away from what looked to be the start of their reconciliation. He found a phone and yellow pages in Dan's study. Once he made the call, he went back to the living room. Herbert was taking a still greenish-looking Dan upstairs. "I'll see myself out."
"Please do."
And Crawford was left alone. He suddenly remembered to check to see if even had money for a cab. He stuck his hands in his pockets. He did. He also held in his hands again the lube and Bubba's card. Crawford shook his head and waited at the window for the cab to arrive.