Fic: Re-Animator/From Beyond, "Burning Glances, Turning Heads"
Title: Burning Glances, Turning Heads
Fandom: Re-Animator/From Beyond (Bro'verse)
Pairing: Herbert/Dan UST; Dan/OFC
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Word Count: 2870
Summary: Dan tries to have a normal date with a normal woman at a normal masked Halloween ball. Cue hijinks!
A/N: Title is lyrics from "Masquerade" from Andrew Lloyd-Webber's The Phantom of the Opera. Because I'm lame.
Bro'verse Master Post: HERE
The walls in the hospital hallways were lined with cutesy, cartoon, cardboard jack-o-lanterns. The nurses' station had black and orange crêpe paper running along the counter tops. Dan frowned at it all. When one's life had turned into a bad horror movie complete with old Victorian house next to a graveyard and the occasional zombie attack, the holiday celebrating all things spooky and freakish lost some of its charm.
Worst of all were the posters announcing the hospital benefit masque for Halloween night. He was caught looking at one by one of the nurses. "Ooh, are you going, Dr. Cain? A masked ball! How fun and mysterious." She smiled and placed a hand on his arm. "I'd go, but I don't have a date. Yet." She pouted her pink lips.
Well, perhaps he could set aside his prejudices against the holiday for a chance to get some decent society. An evening with a pretty girl and not in the cellar with Herbert did have a lot of appeal...
"Even I could see the benefit of a date with you, Tiffany, if it involved you keeping your face covered."
Speak of the devil. "Do you need something, Herbert?"
"There's been a request for a second opinion."
"Okay, I'll be there in a minute. Uhm, I'll give you a call later, okay?" Dan said to the nurse. He didn't actually have to see it to know that Herbert was scowling behind him.
"Oh, Danny, you look so manly."
Dan flinched, it had been a long time since anyone had called him that. And then only the one person. He shook out the puffy arms on his pirate shirt and adjusted the belt holding the fake sword. Tiffany was in a matching costume as his wench, her own puffy-sleeved shirt and corset exposing her ample bosom even more than her usual clothes. "You look good, too, Tiffany."
She giggled and spun, almost tripping over her tall boots. She giggled again when he caught her. The benefit was being held at the ballroom in Arkham's swankiest hotel. That, like most buildings in town, it had a history of hauntings and other supernatural tales, made it even more perfect for a Halloween event.
The large chandelier was covered in fake spider webs. Skulls served as centerpieces, and rubber bats dangled from the ceiling. Otherwise, it didn't make too much of an effort in the decorations, caring more to keep the sense of opulence. The costumes of those attending ranged in quality depending on whether they were staff, board members, or the affluent donors: Arkham's social elite.
"Oh, isn't it fabulous, Danny?"
"It's nice."
"It's so colorful!"
The DJ at least seemed more interested in keeping the atmosphere in tune with the season; the opening chords of Oingo Boingo's "Dead Man's Party" started and Tiffany started bouncing along to it.
They weaved their way further into the room, Dan nodded to co-workers he recognized under their make-up. A couple other nurses gathered around them and cooed over their costumes. "Do I shiver your timbers, Captain Cain?" Julie, Dan remembered, asked. She clumsily shook her hips, trying to rattle the charms on her belly dancer outfit.
"Oh, hey, Danny, I'm going to track down that waiter and score us a couple glasses of the free bubbly, kay?"
"Sure." And just like that, Dan was left remembering when he was ditched at his sophomore homecoming dance.
"Dan? Hey, Dan!"
Dan turned, one of the handful of men in a half-mask styled after that new, popular musical, was weaving his way towards him. He grinned when he recognized the uncovered half of the man's face. "Hey, Crawford, what are you doing here?"
"My, uh, boss, Professor Pretorius? He gets invited to these sort of things, but he has other...plans tonight." Dan thought he saw Crawford's eye twitch a little when he said "plans."
Tiffany came back then, without her friends, but with a flute of champagne in each hand. "Hey, Danny, who's your friend? Oh. What are you doing here?" Her cheeriness quickly vanished.
"No, Tiffany, it's not who you think it is. This is Crawford, Dr. West's brother."
"Get out! Dr. Creepy has a brother?"
"Yeah, that'd be me," he answered with a wry smile. "Well, don't let me interrupt your date. See you later maybe. Think I'll go work on my mingling skills."
Dan laughed. "Mingling skills." Well, there were some people who found shy and awkward charming.
Tiffany downed her drink in one impressive swallow. "Two of them! Isn't one bad enough?"
"They may be twins, but they're two very different people."
"No prizes for guessing which one's the evil twin?"
Dan chuckled and put on arm around her. "Afraid not."
The DJ changed the song, Tiffany squealed in delight. "Oh my God! I love this song!" She dragged him off to the dance floor where everyone else was already trying to remember and copy the moves from Michael Jackson's "Thriller." It was ridiculous, but fun. Dan couldn't remember when he laughed so hard as people stumbled into each other, making claws with their hands.
When the song ended, they made their way back off the dance floor. Tiffany grabbed another glass off a passing waiter. "I didn't think you'd be this fun! You always seem so serious and grim!"
"Must be the company I keep."
"Hey, Dan."
"Whoa, Crawford, had your fill of mingling already?"
"Too much talk of dancing, so I made my excuses."
"Aw, you've never gone dancing before?" Tiffany bent over, hands on her knees like she was talking to a small child. Not to mention it put her at great risk of popping out of her corset. "Danny, you won't mind if I give your little friend a quick lesson."
Crawford took a step back, away from her. "No, no, that's not-"
"Oh, come on!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the crowd. Before Dan lost sight of him. He saw Crawford turn around and give him a pleading look. Dan smiled and gave him an encouraging wave.
"Dr. Cain!" A large hand landed on his shoulder. "Just the man!"
"Dr. Vale, what can I do for you?" The Chief of Surgery was in a Zorro costume, but still recognizable by his booming voice and large, white moustache. "You, my boy, are the young, handsome, charming sort of doctor that our donors like to imagine our hospital is completely staffed with. Come meet some."
Dan was practically shoved in the direction of an elderly couple. Dan looked over his shoulder, trying to spot his date. "Mr. and Mrs. Tupple, I'd like to introduce you to Dr. Cain, one of our up-and-comings. There's been much praise for his bedside manner."
"Oh, I'm sure," Mrs. Tupple said, lowering her mask which was attached to a feathered stick. She leered at him, eyes lingering on how the opening of his shirt left much of his chest exposed.
"Cain... Cain..." Mr. Tupple muttered from under the beak of his Capitano mask. "Name's familiar. Something in the papers... About a year ago?"
Dan's stomach dropped. His and Herbert's names had been published due to being on the scene of the Miskatonic Massacre and then having been investigated. But he felt "Actually, we were never formally charged with anything," still wouldn't leave the right impression.
He thought he was going to be rescued from an awkward situation with the reappearance of Tiffany. But it was not to be. She marched right up to him and slapped him in the face. Dr. Vale, the Tupples, and everyone else in the immediate area fell silent. Eyes, greedy for scandal, all turned their way.
"I won't be used as nobody's beard you... You... Pervert!"
"Tiff, what?" Dan rubbed at his stinging cheek.
She punched him on the shoulder. "You can't pretend with me. He told me everything about you and his brother! Oh, God, it all makes sense now!" She ran off, sobbing.
The crowd started murmuring. Dan chuckled nervously. "Guess she started pretty early tonight, huh?" The Tupples laughed politely, but just as awkward. "Excuse me, I better..." He gestured over his shoulder, and the others nodded in understanding.
It wasn't Tiffany he was chasing after, though. He hunted around for Crawford. Dan found him at the large, lighted punch fountain, seemingly mesmerized. He really didn't get out much, did he?
"Crawford!"
"Oh, hey, Dan. Where's your date?"
"What did you say to her?"
"To who? Your date?"
"Who do you think?"
"What did I say to her?"
"Crawford, I swear to God."
"I haven't spoken two words to her."
"But... She took you away to dance."
"Dance!?" Crawford nearly dropped his drink. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"But, then-" Oh. Oh... A terrible, mean thought struck him then. The kind of terrible, mean thought befitting a certain someone else. "Crawford, when's the last time you spoke with Herbert?"
"About a week ago, why?"
"Did you tell him you were going to be here tonight?"
"It may have come up."
"Did you mention your costume plans?"
"I might have. Possibly."
"Right." He grabbed Crawford's arm, and pulled him along. "Have to keep tabs on you so I can..." He searched the sea of masks and make-up. There were several people with costumes similar to Crawford's, but none exact and most of the other men were too tall to be- Aha! There, skulking in a shadowy corner was a small figure in a half-mask.
The figure started when he finally saw Dan coming towards him. He started again when he noticed Crawford at Dan's side. He made a break for it, going for the terrace doors.
"Oh, no you don't!" Dan let go of Crawford and gave chase. "Herbert! You little shit!" He shouted, dodging party-goers and catering staff. Herbert flung open the doors, nearly hitting Dan in the face.
Once outside, Herbert never stood a chance. He wasn't much of a runner to begin with, and the cloak flying out behind him made it easy for Dan to grab it. Caught, Herbert fell down on the damp grass, his mask and hat flying off. Dan stumbled and landed next to him.
Dan recovered quickly, and grabbed a fistful of Herbert's shirt and gave him a hard shake. "What the fuck is wrong with you, huh? Can't leave me alone for one fucking night?!"
Herbert held his hands up, palms forward, defensively. "It was just a bit of fun."
"Fun? This is your idea of fun? Spoiling mine?" He curled the fingers of his right hand, ready to give Herbert what he had a long-time coming. Herbert squeezed his eyes shut and turned away, anticipating the blow.
"Dan, don't!"
"Stay out of this, Crawford. Even if he doesn't really deserve it for tonight, it's for everything he's done to ruin my life."
"Not here, not now. Look, isn't that your boss?"
He stopped glaring down at Herbert and looked up to the terrace. Sure enough, a crowd of rubberneckers had followed them out, Dr. Vale at the front. Crawford tugged on his shoulders. Dan let Herbert go and stood. He couldn't look at either of them. So he went a few yards away to cool off, taking deep breaths in the chill, Autumn air.
Crawford was helping his brother to his feet. Dan caught snatches of Herbert bitching about grass stains and a rental deposit. He didn't turn around when the rustle of their footsteps came up behind him.
"Dan, Herbert has something to say."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do!"
"Enh."
"Herbert!"
"Fine, fine. Dan, I'm-"
"No." Dan finally faced them. "I don't want to hear it, not if he doesn't mean it."
Herbert sighed in relief. "Good. You ought to be thanking me, you know. Thinking I was him," he pointed to Crawford, "she said I was like a little bunny and wanted to take me home and tickle my belly! Clearly unstable."
Dan held up his hands. "Stop. Just stop. I- Just leave me alone. I'm going home."
Dan locked himself in the study. He just sat at his desk, seething, planning all the ways he could kill his roommate, or at the very least plot his own escape from this house, this city, that man.
There was a soft knock on the door. "Go away!"
"It's Crawford."
"You can go to hell, too."
There was only silence in return, but it was like he could feel Crawford's distress through the door. It weighed heavily on him, and forced him out of the chair. He unlocked the door and opened it. Crawford blinked, wide-eyed up at him. Dan could understand how Tiffany would liken him to a rabbit. "If you're here to apologize for him, forget it."
"Well," Dan started to close the door on him. "Wait, wait." Crawford squeezed his way past the door and Dan. "If you don't want an apology, how about an explanation?"
Dan sighed and sat back down, gesturing for Crawford to continue.
Crawford paced as he spoke. "I know I've only known Herbert for about six years myself, but from what I understand, I don't think he's really ever had a friend before."
Dan snorted. No big surprise. "Is that what you think we are, friends?"
Crawford just gave him a look. "You lived together in school, you went to a Peruvian war zone with him, and now you're still living with him. That's, what? Over a year together now. So, despite everything, you must at least like him."
"Sometimes... I dunno. Sometimes I really don't know why I stay."
"Well, that's for you to work out. On Herbert's part, as I said, he's never really had a friend before. And he's selfish. Now that he has you, he doesn't want to lose you. And in his mind? The only way to do that is to eliminate the competition. He doesn't understand the concept or ability to share one's time and attention with multiple people."
"That's fucked up."
Crawford spread his hands. "That's Herbert West."
Crawford left the study. Dan spent several more minutes there, considering his words. And maybe he did overreact to what came down to a childish prank. Well, his reputation must have taken a hit, getting slapped in front of the big wigs. And Tiffany's probably already spreading Herbert's lie around her friends. But Dan was sure that once he explained it was just a joke by "Dr. Creepy," she would surely believe the truth. That she seemed to quickly believe the lie, though; and the "it all makes sense" comment... Dan shook his head. When it came to damage control, it was actually pretty minimal in his world.
He let himself out of the study. He could hear voices from the living room. Crawford was still there, then.
"If you would just hold still."
"Ow. Don't."
"Don't be such a baby!"
Dan quickened his pace, wondering what the hell Herbert was doing to his brother now. What he saw in the living room was nothing like what he was starting to imagine. Herbert and Crawford were on the sofa, facing each other, mirror images, still partially in costume. Crawford was holding Herbert's head still with one hand, and the other was poking at his eyes. Herbert flinched and swatted his hand away. "Ack."
Crawford put his hands down and huffed. "Do you want me to do this or not?"
"Give me a second." Herbert blinked rapidly, then rubbed at his eyes. "How can you do this every day?"
"Where did you get a pair of my contacts, anyway?"
"You left them here that one night you stayed."
"Oh, right. Okay, ready?"
Herbert nodded. He let Crawford hold open his left eye with one hand and pluck at the lens with the other. After a couple seconds, Herbert squirmed and pulled away again. Crawford sighed. "Let me try another way." He held the eye open again, then licked his index finger.
Herbert jumped back at that. "I don't want your spit in my eye!"
"I'll be touching the lens, not your eye!"
Dan couldn't help himself any longer and laughed. They turned to him simultaneously, with matching expressions of surprise and confusion. It just made him laugh harder. He went up to them and sat down on the edge of the coffee table. Herbert watched him, wary, uncertain of his mood and intentions.
"Crawford, you're too use to doing it to yourself." Dan cupped Herbert's chin and tilted his face up so he could get a good look at his reddening eyes. Herbert's eyes went huge at the gentle touch, perfect for letting Dan just reach in and pluck out one of the contacts. "See, not so bad."
It looked like Herbert stopped breathing. "Guess, not, no." He blinked a couple times, but then stayed still long enough so Dan could just as easily take out the other one.
Dan gave his cheek a friendly pat before moving his hand away entirely. Herbert's glasses were on the coffee table next to him, so Dan picked them up and handed them over. Herbert gratefully slid them on.
Dan tried to catch his gaze again before asking, "Okay?"
Herbert cleared his throat. "Fine."
THE END
Fandom: Re-Animator/From Beyond (Bro'verse)
Pairing: Herbert/Dan UST; Dan/OFC
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Word Count: 2870
Summary: Dan tries to have a normal date with a normal woman at a normal masked Halloween ball. Cue hijinks!
A/N: Title is lyrics from "Masquerade" from Andrew Lloyd-Webber's The Phantom of the Opera. Because I'm lame.
Bro'verse Master Post: HERE
The walls in the hospital hallways were lined with cutesy, cartoon, cardboard jack-o-lanterns. The nurses' station had black and orange crêpe paper running along the counter tops. Dan frowned at it all. When one's life had turned into a bad horror movie complete with old Victorian house next to a graveyard and the occasional zombie attack, the holiday celebrating all things spooky and freakish lost some of its charm.
Worst of all were the posters announcing the hospital benefit masque for Halloween night. He was caught looking at one by one of the nurses. "Ooh, are you going, Dr. Cain? A masked ball! How fun and mysterious." She smiled and placed a hand on his arm. "I'd go, but I don't have a date. Yet." She pouted her pink lips.
Well, perhaps he could set aside his prejudices against the holiday for a chance to get some decent society. An evening with a pretty girl and not in the cellar with Herbert did have a lot of appeal...
"Even I could see the benefit of a date with you, Tiffany, if it involved you keeping your face covered."
Speak of the devil. "Do you need something, Herbert?"
"There's been a request for a second opinion."
"Okay, I'll be there in a minute. Uhm, I'll give you a call later, okay?" Dan said to the nurse. He didn't actually have to see it to know that Herbert was scowling behind him.
"Oh, Danny, you look so manly."
Dan flinched, it had been a long time since anyone had called him that. And then only the one person. He shook out the puffy arms on his pirate shirt and adjusted the belt holding the fake sword. Tiffany was in a matching costume as his wench, her own puffy-sleeved shirt and corset exposing her ample bosom even more than her usual clothes. "You look good, too, Tiffany."
She giggled and spun, almost tripping over her tall boots. She giggled again when he caught her. The benefit was being held at the ballroom in Arkham's swankiest hotel. That, like most buildings in town, it had a history of hauntings and other supernatural tales, made it even more perfect for a Halloween event.
The large chandelier was covered in fake spider webs. Skulls served as centerpieces, and rubber bats dangled from the ceiling. Otherwise, it didn't make too much of an effort in the decorations, caring more to keep the sense of opulence. The costumes of those attending ranged in quality depending on whether they were staff, board members, or the affluent donors: Arkham's social elite.
"Oh, isn't it fabulous, Danny?"
"It's nice."
"It's so colorful!"
The DJ at least seemed more interested in keeping the atmosphere in tune with the season; the opening chords of Oingo Boingo's "Dead Man's Party" started and Tiffany started bouncing along to it.
They weaved their way further into the room, Dan nodded to co-workers he recognized under their make-up. A couple other nurses gathered around them and cooed over their costumes. "Do I shiver your timbers, Captain Cain?" Julie, Dan remembered, asked. She clumsily shook her hips, trying to rattle the charms on her belly dancer outfit.
"Oh, hey, Danny, I'm going to track down that waiter and score us a couple glasses of the free bubbly, kay?"
"Sure." And just like that, Dan was left remembering when he was ditched at his sophomore homecoming dance.
"Dan? Hey, Dan!"
Dan turned, one of the handful of men in a half-mask styled after that new, popular musical, was weaving his way towards him. He grinned when he recognized the uncovered half of the man's face. "Hey, Crawford, what are you doing here?"
"My, uh, boss, Professor Pretorius? He gets invited to these sort of things, but he has other...plans tonight." Dan thought he saw Crawford's eye twitch a little when he said "plans."
Tiffany came back then, without her friends, but with a flute of champagne in each hand. "Hey, Danny, who's your friend? Oh. What are you doing here?" Her cheeriness quickly vanished.
"No, Tiffany, it's not who you think it is. This is Crawford, Dr. West's brother."
"Get out! Dr. Creepy has a brother?"
"Yeah, that'd be me," he answered with a wry smile. "Well, don't let me interrupt your date. See you later maybe. Think I'll go work on my mingling skills."
Dan laughed. "Mingling skills." Well, there were some people who found shy and awkward charming.
Tiffany downed her drink in one impressive swallow. "Two of them! Isn't one bad enough?"
"They may be twins, but they're two very different people."
"No prizes for guessing which one's the evil twin?"
Dan chuckled and put on arm around her. "Afraid not."
The DJ changed the song, Tiffany squealed in delight. "Oh my God! I love this song!" She dragged him off to the dance floor where everyone else was already trying to remember and copy the moves from Michael Jackson's "Thriller." It was ridiculous, but fun. Dan couldn't remember when he laughed so hard as people stumbled into each other, making claws with their hands.
When the song ended, they made their way back off the dance floor. Tiffany grabbed another glass off a passing waiter. "I didn't think you'd be this fun! You always seem so serious and grim!"
"Must be the company I keep."
"Hey, Dan."
"Whoa, Crawford, had your fill of mingling already?"
"Too much talk of dancing, so I made my excuses."
"Aw, you've never gone dancing before?" Tiffany bent over, hands on her knees like she was talking to a small child. Not to mention it put her at great risk of popping out of her corset. "Danny, you won't mind if I give your little friend a quick lesson."
Crawford took a step back, away from her. "No, no, that's not-"
"Oh, come on!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the crowd. Before Dan lost sight of him. He saw Crawford turn around and give him a pleading look. Dan smiled and gave him an encouraging wave.
"Dr. Cain!" A large hand landed on his shoulder. "Just the man!"
"Dr. Vale, what can I do for you?" The Chief of Surgery was in a Zorro costume, but still recognizable by his booming voice and large, white moustache. "You, my boy, are the young, handsome, charming sort of doctor that our donors like to imagine our hospital is completely staffed with. Come meet some."
Dan was practically shoved in the direction of an elderly couple. Dan looked over his shoulder, trying to spot his date. "Mr. and Mrs. Tupple, I'd like to introduce you to Dr. Cain, one of our up-and-comings. There's been much praise for his bedside manner."
"Oh, I'm sure," Mrs. Tupple said, lowering her mask which was attached to a feathered stick. She leered at him, eyes lingering on how the opening of his shirt left much of his chest exposed.
"Cain... Cain..." Mr. Tupple muttered from under the beak of his Capitano mask. "Name's familiar. Something in the papers... About a year ago?"
Dan's stomach dropped. His and Herbert's names had been published due to being on the scene of the Miskatonic Massacre and then having been investigated. But he felt "Actually, we were never formally charged with anything," still wouldn't leave the right impression.
He thought he was going to be rescued from an awkward situation with the reappearance of Tiffany. But it was not to be. She marched right up to him and slapped him in the face. Dr. Vale, the Tupples, and everyone else in the immediate area fell silent. Eyes, greedy for scandal, all turned their way.
"I won't be used as nobody's beard you... You... Pervert!"
"Tiff, what?" Dan rubbed at his stinging cheek.
She punched him on the shoulder. "You can't pretend with me. He told me everything about you and his brother! Oh, God, it all makes sense now!" She ran off, sobbing.
The crowd started murmuring. Dan chuckled nervously. "Guess she started pretty early tonight, huh?" The Tupples laughed politely, but just as awkward. "Excuse me, I better..." He gestured over his shoulder, and the others nodded in understanding.
It wasn't Tiffany he was chasing after, though. He hunted around for Crawford. Dan found him at the large, lighted punch fountain, seemingly mesmerized. He really didn't get out much, did he?
"Crawford!"
"Oh, hey, Dan. Where's your date?"
"What did you say to her?"
"To who? Your date?"
"Who do you think?"
"What did I say to her?"
"Crawford, I swear to God."
"I haven't spoken two words to her."
"But... She took you away to dance."
"Dance!?" Crawford nearly dropped his drink. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"But, then-" Oh. Oh... A terrible, mean thought struck him then. The kind of terrible, mean thought befitting a certain someone else. "Crawford, when's the last time you spoke with Herbert?"
"About a week ago, why?"
"Did you tell him you were going to be here tonight?"
"It may have come up."
"Did you mention your costume plans?"
"I might have. Possibly."
"Right." He grabbed Crawford's arm, and pulled him along. "Have to keep tabs on you so I can..." He searched the sea of masks and make-up. There were several people with costumes similar to Crawford's, but none exact and most of the other men were too tall to be- Aha! There, skulking in a shadowy corner was a small figure in a half-mask.
The figure started when he finally saw Dan coming towards him. He started again when he noticed Crawford at Dan's side. He made a break for it, going for the terrace doors.
"Oh, no you don't!" Dan let go of Crawford and gave chase. "Herbert! You little shit!" He shouted, dodging party-goers and catering staff. Herbert flung open the doors, nearly hitting Dan in the face.
Once outside, Herbert never stood a chance. He wasn't much of a runner to begin with, and the cloak flying out behind him made it easy for Dan to grab it. Caught, Herbert fell down on the damp grass, his mask and hat flying off. Dan stumbled and landed next to him.
Dan recovered quickly, and grabbed a fistful of Herbert's shirt and gave him a hard shake. "What the fuck is wrong with you, huh? Can't leave me alone for one fucking night?!"
Herbert held his hands up, palms forward, defensively. "It was just a bit of fun."
"Fun? This is your idea of fun? Spoiling mine?" He curled the fingers of his right hand, ready to give Herbert what he had a long-time coming. Herbert squeezed his eyes shut and turned away, anticipating the blow.
"Dan, don't!"
"Stay out of this, Crawford. Even if he doesn't really deserve it for tonight, it's for everything he's done to ruin my life."
"Not here, not now. Look, isn't that your boss?"
He stopped glaring down at Herbert and looked up to the terrace. Sure enough, a crowd of rubberneckers had followed them out, Dr. Vale at the front. Crawford tugged on his shoulders. Dan let Herbert go and stood. He couldn't look at either of them. So he went a few yards away to cool off, taking deep breaths in the chill, Autumn air.
Crawford was helping his brother to his feet. Dan caught snatches of Herbert bitching about grass stains and a rental deposit. He didn't turn around when the rustle of their footsteps came up behind him.
"Dan, Herbert has something to say."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do!"
"Enh."
"Herbert!"
"Fine, fine. Dan, I'm-"
"No." Dan finally faced them. "I don't want to hear it, not if he doesn't mean it."
Herbert sighed in relief. "Good. You ought to be thanking me, you know. Thinking I was him," he pointed to Crawford, "she said I was like a little bunny and wanted to take me home and tickle my belly! Clearly unstable."
Dan held up his hands. "Stop. Just stop. I- Just leave me alone. I'm going home."
Dan locked himself in the study. He just sat at his desk, seething, planning all the ways he could kill his roommate, or at the very least plot his own escape from this house, this city, that man.
There was a soft knock on the door. "Go away!"
"It's Crawford."
"You can go to hell, too."
There was only silence in return, but it was like he could feel Crawford's distress through the door. It weighed heavily on him, and forced him out of the chair. He unlocked the door and opened it. Crawford blinked, wide-eyed up at him. Dan could understand how Tiffany would liken him to a rabbit. "If you're here to apologize for him, forget it."
"Well," Dan started to close the door on him. "Wait, wait." Crawford squeezed his way past the door and Dan. "If you don't want an apology, how about an explanation?"
Dan sighed and sat back down, gesturing for Crawford to continue.
Crawford paced as he spoke. "I know I've only known Herbert for about six years myself, but from what I understand, I don't think he's really ever had a friend before."
Dan snorted. No big surprise. "Is that what you think we are, friends?"
Crawford just gave him a look. "You lived together in school, you went to a Peruvian war zone with him, and now you're still living with him. That's, what? Over a year together now. So, despite everything, you must at least like him."
"Sometimes... I dunno. Sometimes I really don't know why I stay."
"Well, that's for you to work out. On Herbert's part, as I said, he's never really had a friend before. And he's selfish. Now that he has you, he doesn't want to lose you. And in his mind? The only way to do that is to eliminate the competition. He doesn't understand the concept or ability to share one's time and attention with multiple people."
"That's fucked up."
Crawford spread his hands. "That's Herbert West."
Crawford left the study. Dan spent several more minutes there, considering his words. And maybe he did overreact to what came down to a childish prank. Well, his reputation must have taken a hit, getting slapped in front of the big wigs. And Tiffany's probably already spreading Herbert's lie around her friends. But Dan was sure that once he explained it was just a joke by "Dr. Creepy," she would surely believe the truth. That she seemed to quickly believe the lie, though; and the "it all makes sense" comment... Dan shook his head. When it came to damage control, it was actually pretty minimal in his world.
He let himself out of the study. He could hear voices from the living room. Crawford was still there, then.
"If you would just hold still."
"Ow. Don't."
"Don't be such a baby!"
Dan quickened his pace, wondering what the hell Herbert was doing to his brother now. What he saw in the living room was nothing like what he was starting to imagine. Herbert and Crawford were on the sofa, facing each other, mirror images, still partially in costume. Crawford was holding Herbert's head still with one hand, and the other was poking at his eyes. Herbert flinched and swatted his hand away. "Ack."
Crawford put his hands down and huffed. "Do you want me to do this or not?"
"Give me a second." Herbert blinked rapidly, then rubbed at his eyes. "How can you do this every day?"
"Where did you get a pair of my contacts, anyway?"
"You left them here that one night you stayed."
"Oh, right. Okay, ready?"
Herbert nodded. He let Crawford hold open his left eye with one hand and pluck at the lens with the other. After a couple seconds, Herbert squirmed and pulled away again. Crawford sighed. "Let me try another way." He held the eye open again, then licked his index finger.
Herbert jumped back at that. "I don't want your spit in my eye!"
"I'll be touching the lens, not your eye!"
Dan couldn't help himself any longer and laughed. They turned to him simultaneously, with matching expressions of surprise and confusion. It just made him laugh harder. He went up to them and sat down on the edge of the coffee table. Herbert watched him, wary, uncertain of his mood and intentions.
"Crawford, you're too use to doing it to yourself." Dan cupped Herbert's chin and tilted his face up so he could get a good look at his reddening eyes. Herbert's eyes went huge at the gentle touch, perfect for letting Dan just reach in and pluck out one of the contacts. "See, not so bad."
It looked like Herbert stopped breathing. "Guess, not, no." He blinked a couple times, but then stayed still long enough so Dan could just as easily take out the other one.
Dan gave his cheek a friendly pat before moving his hand away entirely. Herbert's glasses were on the coffee table next to him, so Dan picked them up and handed them over. Herbert gratefully slid them on.
Dan tried to catch his gaze again before asking, "Okay?"
Herbert cleared his throat. "Fine."
THE END