What makes a man, mister Lebowski?
Important note on the kind of person I am: This morning, as I sat down at the computer to beat off, I noticed that I had an explorer window open, reminding me that my MP3 server was still sitting there unorganized. Instead of continuing about my usual morningly onanistic business, I spent the next half hour organizing and sorting MP3s. The shit DOES need to get done.
A couple of events have sparked my recent enthusiasm for re-organizing music. Firstly, in order to facilitate some Debugging on my machine at work, I had to remove most of my MP3s. Since I was gonna need to bring over all my music from home again, I reckoned I'd finally sort everything out on the home server and have it nicely organized. This has been a massive undertaking. There really is no limit to the amount of time and effort one can spend on such a task, and incorporating a constant influx of music makes things more interesting.
Oh! The other thing that sparked it, that really lit a fire under my ass for getting my music together was something my lead artist proposed: He set up a directory called "Music Swap". Into this directory, employees were encouraged to provide 10-song mixes based on a monthly theme. The theme for this month was "Self-portrait". This seems incredibly personal for work, but I'm the kind of person who eats that shit up, so here were my ten:
01_Stephen Trask - Wig In A Box Miss Sanspoof put this on a mix I got ages ago, and it always resonated harmoniously with me. Cross-dressing's a weird thing, man. I'm totally open about it and (thankfully) work in a job where no one cares if I show up in a dress. In THAT sense, I'm jus' grateful that I don't have to keep this interest of mine completely hidden away. On the other hand, I'm the only crossdresser I've ever known. I have heaps of dear friends who I can talk clothes with but like any number of my sexually motivated inclinations, It's kind of a lonely thing. I mean, I could MEET trannies if all I wanted to do was meet trannies, but that's totally not what I wanna do at all. I dunno. I'm thankful and blessed that my peers are as supportive as they are, but it's still very much only my thing.
02_Spring Heeled Jack - Addicted
Not nearly enough Ska on this mix, but that's the nature of such a thing. First heard this song on the "Oi! Skampilation 2" disc, which was one of my first forays into the genre. It's a kinda fluffy, bouncy, fun lovin' ode to loving music and self-actualization. Many of the songs on this disc remind me of the feelings I had when I was first getting into the late 90s Ska wave. It was the right thing at the right time for me, I suppose, but There's still this Joy that the memories bring to me.
03_Ben Folds - The Luckiest Someone at work referred to this as the "Sappy Wedding song", even though th' song came out like, four years after Kelli an' I got hitched. It is pretty sappy, but I've always applied it to myself. The first lyrics are "I don't get many things right the first time, in fact, I am told that a lot." The song really makes me think about Kelli and how important she is to me. I've really fucked up most every relationship I've had, and I dunno. I'm jus' glad I've got her. I've always maintained that one of my and Kelli's polar disparities is luck. My justification has always been that I've been lucky enough to end up with her and she's been unlucky enough to end up with me. It seems to have worked out all right so far. =)
04_Katamari Damacy - Que Sera Sera Not enough game music on here, either, but I've got to represent. Katamari Damacy is pretty much one of the freshest directions I've seen games go in since like, forever, and if I had to choose one for a self-portrait, I reckoned this would do. Super-bitchen soundtrack on this game, so the choice was easy.
05_Morphine - In Spite Of Me Mostly put because it's a Beautiful Morphine track, It's another kinda sad self-depricating "You're super awesome and I just hope that I kinda helped you be super-awesome" kinda song.
06_Ken Nordine - Flibberty Jib
I love Ken Nordine Parables. This one is more or less about how people working for selfish means seem to fuck everything up, again and again. And people LET them. Again and Again. Even when the path to happiness is obvious and right in front of 'em, they'll listen to the rabblerousers, doubt their own eyes/feelings, and then end up right back in the shit-heap.
07_Nerf Herder - Pervert Obvious. Not a lot of punk in here, but this was a light an' funny track to balance out and compliment "Wig in a Box". It's kinda lonely and frustrating to be a pervert, really... It's hard to have all these desires and interests you can't really share with anyone. Okay, there's the Internet, but Jesus. Those aren't people. Being able to talk freely in a forum with other creepy deviants is _NOT_ the same thing as being able to empathize with peers. I'd rather not discuss my proclivities at all than jus' blab about 'em with strangers. "Wig in a Box" celebrates the notion of keeping these ideas to yourself in a fantasy world and keeping that world well-hidden. "Pervert" is a funnier approach, saying "Yes. I fuck shoes. What?". As much as I like the latter approach, I'm always terrified I'll become "That Guy". I KNOW that no-one cares about my proclivities and that there's no real reason for me to discuss 'em, but they ARE interests of mine, and you SHARE these things with your friends. Well, okay, you shouldn't necessarily _share_ them with your friends, but you DO discuss interests. Only, not some interests, 'cuz sometimes people don't wanna hear that shit. Alas.
08_Aesop Rock - No Regrets
Again on the "Not enough here" genre is Hip-hop. I'm especially a sucker for storytelling and Aes Rock is DAMN nice. This track paints a portrait of someone who intentionally estranges herself from society, but lives Precisely the life she wants to from beginning to end. It's kinda sad to think about all that she's missing out on but it's kinda nice to think of someone doing exactly what they want for their entire life.
09_They Might Be Giants - Doctor Worm
I've always loved the fanfare in this track, and it's important that TMBG represents on my autobio. It's really fun and goofy, but also carries a little sadness. There's all kinds of situations where I'll believe in myself and have confidence, but I have to kinda force myself to be oblivious to the fact that I'm the ONLY one with the stupid-ass ideas I've got and that I may well end up being the only person who EVER thought they were cool. But you know what? I'm OK witht that. =)
10_30Ft Fall - Kirk Cameron Sings The Blues
I've used this on mixes before... The irresistable chorus of "I don't wanna be a Man / So many things I'm s'posed to be, but they've got Nothin' to do with me" gets me every time. That being said, it's not a song about Masculinity. The point of the song is maturity... it's about the fact that the more you know, the more you know nothing. I dunno. I think it's beautiful and strong and I can't help but fold in my personal animosities towards alpha-male fratboyJock stereotypes with the concept of "Being a Man".
I am now TOTALLY off to enjoy MAYNARD DAY! I'll report back later.
-343
A couple of events have sparked my recent enthusiasm for re-organizing music. Firstly, in order to facilitate some Debugging on my machine at work, I had to remove most of my MP3s. Since I was gonna need to bring over all my music from home again, I reckoned I'd finally sort everything out on the home server and have it nicely organized. This has been a massive undertaking. There really is no limit to the amount of time and effort one can spend on such a task, and incorporating a constant influx of music makes things more interesting.
Oh! The other thing that sparked it, that really lit a fire under my ass for getting my music together was something my lead artist proposed: He set up a directory called "Music Swap". Into this directory, employees were encouraged to provide 10-song mixes based on a monthly theme. The theme for this month was "Self-portrait". This seems incredibly personal for work, but I'm the kind of person who eats that shit up, so here were my ten:
01_Stephen Trask - Wig In A Box Miss Sanspoof put this on a mix I got ages ago, and it always resonated harmoniously with me. Cross-dressing's a weird thing, man. I'm totally open about it and (thankfully) work in a job where no one cares if I show up in a dress. In THAT sense, I'm jus' grateful that I don't have to keep this interest of mine completely hidden away. On the other hand, I'm the only crossdresser I've ever known. I have heaps of dear friends who I can talk clothes with but like any number of my sexually motivated inclinations, It's kind of a lonely thing. I mean, I could MEET trannies if all I wanted to do was meet trannies, but that's totally not what I wanna do at all. I dunno. I'm thankful and blessed that my peers are as supportive as they are, but it's still very much only my thing.
02_Spring Heeled Jack - Addicted
Not nearly enough Ska on this mix, but that's the nature of such a thing. First heard this song on the "Oi! Skampilation 2" disc, which was one of my first forays into the genre. It's a kinda fluffy, bouncy, fun lovin' ode to loving music and self-actualization. Many of the songs on this disc remind me of the feelings I had when I was first getting into the late 90s Ska wave. It was the right thing at the right time for me, I suppose, but There's still this Joy that the memories bring to me.
03_Ben Folds - The Luckiest Someone at work referred to this as the "Sappy Wedding song", even though th' song came out like, four years after Kelli an' I got hitched. It is pretty sappy, but I've always applied it to myself. The first lyrics are "I don't get many things right the first time, in fact, I am told that a lot." The song really makes me think about Kelli and how important she is to me. I've really fucked up most every relationship I've had, and I dunno. I'm jus' glad I've got her. I've always maintained that one of my and Kelli's polar disparities is luck. My justification has always been that I've been lucky enough to end up with her and she's been unlucky enough to end up with me. It seems to have worked out all right so far. =)
04_Katamari Damacy - Que Sera Sera Not enough game music on here, either, but I've got to represent. Katamari Damacy is pretty much one of the freshest directions I've seen games go in since like, forever, and if I had to choose one for a self-portrait, I reckoned this would do. Super-bitchen soundtrack on this game, so the choice was easy.
05_Morphine - In Spite Of Me Mostly put because it's a Beautiful Morphine track, It's another kinda sad self-depricating "You're super awesome and I just hope that I kinda helped you be super-awesome" kinda song.
06_Ken Nordine - Flibberty Jib
I love Ken Nordine Parables. This one is more or less about how people working for selfish means seem to fuck everything up, again and again. And people LET them. Again and Again. Even when the path to happiness is obvious and right in front of 'em, they'll listen to the rabblerousers, doubt their own eyes/feelings, and then end up right back in the shit-heap.
07_Nerf Herder - Pervert Obvious. Not a lot of punk in here, but this was a light an' funny track to balance out and compliment "Wig in a Box". It's kinda lonely and frustrating to be a pervert, really... It's hard to have all these desires and interests you can't really share with anyone. Okay, there's the Internet, but Jesus. Those aren't people. Being able to talk freely in a forum with other creepy deviants is _NOT_ the same thing as being able to empathize with peers. I'd rather not discuss my proclivities at all than jus' blab about 'em with strangers. "Wig in a Box" celebrates the notion of keeping these ideas to yourself in a fantasy world and keeping that world well-hidden. "Pervert" is a funnier approach, saying "Yes. I fuck shoes. What?". As much as I like the latter approach, I'm always terrified I'll become "That Guy". I KNOW that no-one cares about my proclivities and that there's no real reason for me to discuss 'em, but they ARE interests of mine, and you SHARE these things with your friends. Well, okay, you shouldn't necessarily _share_ them with your friends, but you DO discuss interests. Only, not some interests, 'cuz sometimes people don't wanna hear that shit. Alas.
08_Aesop Rock - No Regrets
Again on the "Not enough here" genre is Hip-hop. I'm especially a sucker for storytelling and Aes Rock is DAMN nice. This track paints a portrait of someone who intentionally estranges herself from society, but lives Precisely the life she wants to from beginning to end. It's kinda sad to think about all that she's missing out on but it's kinda nice to think of someone doing exactly what they want for their entire life.
09_They Might Be Giants - Doctor Worm
I've always loved the fanfare in this track, and it's important that TMBG represents on my autobio. It's really fun and goofy, but also carries a little sadness. There's all kinds of situations where I'll believe in myself and have confidence, but I have to kinda force myself to be oblivious to the fact that I'm the ONLY one with the stupid-ass ideas I've got and that I may well end up being the only person who EVER thought they were cool. But you know what? I'm OK witht that. =)
10_30Ft Fall - Kirk Cameron Sings The Blues
I've used this on mixes before... The irresistable chorus of "I don't wanna be a Man / So many things I'm s'posed to be, but they've got Nothin' to do with me" gets me every time. That being said, it's not a song about Masculinity. The point of the song is maturity... it's about the fact that the more you know, the more you know nothing. I dunno. I think it's beautiful and strong and I can't help but fold in my personal animosities towards alpha-male fratboyJock stereotypes with the concept of "Being a Man".
I am now TOTALLY off to enjoy MAYNARD DAY! I'll report back later.
-343