Sometimes the best thing to do is stay out of it and not worry about it. That's my view on these things...people will work it out, or not. You don't have to stop being friends with either.
It's human nature I think, to want to talk to your friends when you are angry or hurt or confused. If you're brave enough to reach out anyway, which I'm not always brave enough. Though it's true that it can put a person in a challenging position.
I guess it's important to know when to listen to your friends, wish them well and lots of love, and then stay the heck out of it :)
1) Lay down the law. Politely remind them that you remain friends with both and you will not tolerate either using you to degrade the other.
2) Adopt the polite but stupid mode. This is when you simply nod and say 'yes dear' (you know how that works, right?) and you ignore anything you do not want to hear.
And usually there are THREE sides to every story. Person A's, Person B's and somewhere in the middle the truth.
I guess it comes down to time factor; is this a recent thing? If so then let them vent for a bit. If not, just say 'old news' or 'haven't we talked enough about this shit?' usually they'll get the hint. If not, just say 'I'm still friends with A, so why not can it when I'm around?'. Those have all worked for me.
Also, some folks just look at themselves as being hurt by something, and ignore all the other shit that they've done to others, but expect everyone to kiss their ass or 'share their pain'. You can't please those sorts of people.
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It's human nature I think, to want to talk to your friends when you are angry or hurt or confused. If you're brave enough to reach out anyway, which I'm not always brave enough. Though it's true that it can put a person in a challenging position.
I guess it's important to know when to listen to your friends, wish them well and lots of love, and then stay the heck out of it :)
My two unsolicited cents.
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You have several options:
1) Lay down the law. Politely remind them that you remain friends with both and you will not tolerate either using you to degrade the other.
2) Adopt the polite but stupid mode. This is when you simply nod and say 'yes dear' (you know how that works, right?) and you ignore anything you do not want to hear.
And usually there are THREE sides to every story. Person A's, Person B's and somewhere in the middle the truth.
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Also, some folks just look at themselves as being hurt by something, and ignore all the other shit that they've done to others, but expect everyone to kiss their ass or 'share their pain'. You can't please those sorts of people.
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Not your problem.
Fireworks over.
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