You only die once...

[sethisalive]

...and yet we tend to misconstrue living with dying. We live more and more every day, yet many of us don't feel that as we age. We age another year and feel like we're dying more than we were before, in a defeatist sense, when in actuality we are (and should be) living more (quantitatively and qualitatively) than we were before... We can only die

Comments

[sethisalive]

That's brilliant, thanks for the compliment and the comic, Nicko :)

[nyuanshin]

Congratulations, dude.

I go back and forth on this -- what you say makes sense for someone in your dad's position or even your own, when souring things by focusing on what you're losing rather than what you're gaining is a big existential pitfall.

But for me the sense that I've got maybe eight more years at the peak of my powers is a surprisingly good motivator when I focus on it, so I actually appreciate it even though it stings -- actually *because* it stings. For me the bigger trap is thinking as though you've got plenty of time. Just a couple of days ago I wrote "it is later than you think" in big blue letters on my whiteboard.

Of course both (or neither) are really "true" -- it's just a question of which side of the story you need to emphasize at what point in your life.

[sethisalive]

Thanks, man

[nyuanshin]

Nah, I read you just fine becuause you wrote it just fine -- the last sentence of the comment I left could have ended with ". . .at what point in your life in order to make the most of it", but I figured that was implicit.

[sethisalive]

Gotchya ;)

[kindatesst]

Amen.

My dad turned 60 last year -- and he celebrated HUGELY. Because he has had such a pissy couple of years, and now the disease is finally letting go -- 60 is much better than his 50's. He's comfortable with dying -- which makes him unafraid to live.

Yeah - you and those mirrors. There are ways to turn them off and on, like a dimmer on a lightswitch. You just have to figure out your own way, though.

My way was by realizing that caring too much actually didn't let the other person experience and learn from their own emotion in their own way at their own time. Because I couldn't stand the pain, I always wanted to 'help'. I was 28/29 when I started the route to that balance. And as a result, I'm loving it - I feel connected, but not used up.

At least in most instances. There are a few people who still manage to suck me in. But I am much better at managing it and surrounding myself with people who nurture me, too.

Anyway - Yay for birthdays!!!

[sethisalive]

So inspiring to hear about your daddy :)

I was 28 when I started that route, too, aybe late 27 (re: letting others learn and understanding that they are their best saviors--I can just create environments and certain situations to help; the helpful situations often being firm and austere). Precocious, I know. ;p And of course, there should and will be people who can still suck you in.

Yay for birth! And death (which is implied in birth)!

[queueball]

Having turned 28 eleven-and-change hour ago (according to midnight), and having for some time thought this inchoately, I thank you for sharing it.

[sethisalive]

Happy 28, Q! Let's kick ass this year, K?!