[FIC: Naruto] Thunderstorm

[serenphoria]

Author's Note: Inspired by Klayter McCabe’s Bring on the Rain.

Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your comments. Posted this a while back on ff.net (almost a year ago today!). Feel free to comment there too to make me look popular XD.

Comments

[punkwolf39]

I actually really liked this (I don't get over to FFN much), even though I don't tend to read gen all that much.

The levels of Sasuke and Naruto's relationship, even on a friendship/trust/rivalry level, are amazing and you really managed to capture that raw sort feeling with this.

Even the way you worked the thunderstorm into things was beautiful.

I think you could have expanded upon this more, if only a little and just make it that much more molded to their circumstances, but even without that little extra, I loved this. I hope you post more soon. ^^

[serenphoria]

Gosh thanks! It's especially complimentary hearing from someone who doesn't generally read in the genre you're writing in! Yeah, Naru and Sasu's relationship is so complicated that I've purposely avoided categorizing this as a friendship fic. I'm slowly migrating my FFN collection over, but if you're interested, I keep a catalog of my fics here: http://serenphoria.livejournal.com/2415.htm. Hope to hear from you again!

[elfinmouse]

Very nice. You really manage to capture a beautiful snapshot of their relatinship.

And inevitably they fell into tandem, each acutely aware of the other, one splash for two people.. This was my favorite line. It's simple, but shows a lot of depth. I also liked the hesitation Sasuke showed when Naruto was trying to get him to yell at the storm. That scene underscored rather well how Sasuke needs Naruto to open him up from his usual reservations.

All in all, good job! :)

[serenphoria]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and favorite line ^_^ Much appreciated.

[transient_words]

This was quite good. You rarely see fanfics like that dealing with Naruto and Sasuke -- you definitely brought out the complex relationship the boys have. The trust, the rivalry and that simple of need of simply being together was there; it is a very subtle fic, where atmosphere mingles with emotions and thus, reaches a powerful effect (and I sound like an idiot). Meaning that I could actually imagine this quite vividly because you made this -- through your descriptions -- seem real and lively; you expressed things well, though this piece is short. The characterization I felt to be very accurate and the parallels between Naruto/Kyuubi were very cleverly portrayed

[serenphoria]

Heh. I get ya, and you don't sound like an idiot! This was a (pleasantly) surprisingly thorough review - wow, thanks for taking the time! And drawing parallels to literature is fascinating, it just goes to show how much is in the collective unconscience. 'Lord of the Flies' definitely creeped me out and is not a book I'll be revisiting any time soon, but I see the parallel you pointed out about the natural environment resonating with the boy's (Naruto's) primal nature :)

[serenphoria]

Yay! NaruSasu gen-shippers unite! Glad to hear you liked it.