It's very good in my opinion, and seems like a really good idea that you can build off of. My tip of advice is that if you are going to leave it this long, cut back on the character descriptions a bit, unless this will be at least 2x longer.
But then again, don't listen to me, I'm just a sophomore whose english teacher is gone for a month.
OMG, I am SO sorry about the dress not quite fitting. It is perfect down to the hips. My hips are just too big, so it seems like I'm really pushing it when I put it on, in which case that pulls the fabric really tight from their down. I'm really afraid that it would rip if I spent three days walking in it. If it's too much trouble, I can always wear a jacket around my waist. We can talk about it tomorrow. It dosen't seem like I need much more waist. Once again, I am REALLY sorry! Everything else fits perfectly!
Apologize again and I'll smack you. I've fixed the dress, it should fit. Besies, we can't have Aeris looking like a bus stop skank, now can we? I'll bring it in to school tomorrow.
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But then again, don't listen to me, I'm just a sophomore whose english teacher is gone for a month.
OMG, I am SO sorry about the dress not quite fitting. It is perfect down to the hips. My hips are just too big, so it seems like I'm really pushing it when I put it on, in which case that pulls the fabric really tight from their down. I'm really afraid that it would rip if I spent three days walking in it. If it's too much trouble, I can always wear a jacket around my waist. We can talk about it tomorrow. It dosen't seem like I need much more waist. Once again, I am REALLY sorry! Everything else fits perfectly!
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