It's because I'm scary.

[seraphimcloud]

I am told that I am scary.

I do not think that I am scary. I think that I am blonde, and relatively small, and nearly cried when they were hurting Bumblebee in that nasty secret government lab thingie as I remained glued to an epic showing of Transformers. That doesn't seem scary to me.

However, this is not the first time that a man has looked me in

Comments

[teuthid]

Oh hey this is kind of weird, but I had me one of them there transient moments with a dude who lived in the same dorm as you, which we found out when we were talking about past jobs and I was all, "hey yeah I drew caricatures in a theme park," and he was all, "oh yeah, I knew a girl back when I lived in the dorms who did that. We had a class together" and I was all, "a lady who worked for Kamans and shared classes with a dude who was a communications majo---OH WAIT. HER NAME WAS TOTALLY MEL." and he was all, "yeah, Melissa." and it was about this time that the curious lump on a bench about 20 ft away got up and walked through a baseball field and we got kind creeped out and quit talking and then just biked home. The moral is, I guess, that you are not scary; waking lumps in the shadows of a playground are scary.

[seraphimcloud]

Odd. Who was it? Perhaps the lump was a tumor. A PLAYGROUND tumor.

[teuthid]

Ben Ellenburg?
Ellinburg?
Illin' Berg?

[seraphimcloud]

i never really hung out with dudes in dorms, but was he kind of skinny and froofy haired and had a guitar and a golden retriever?

now i am intrigued.

[fourcorners]

I haven't known you well enough to comment with any sensible opinion.

This was a great post. I'd ask to metaquote it, but I wouldn't want to trivialize your moment of sad honesty

[seraphimcloud]

I don't mind, wouldn't have aired my laundry on the internet if I didn't think it was some kind of worthwhile beyond just airing myself on the internet.

Thank you, by the way.

[m_banu]

You seem to have a thing for nerdy guys and young guys. Both these categories of men tend to be the sort who are easily alarmed by sober girls who do not automatically snub them and/or look like they've been hit in the face by a large sack full of bricks. This is not directly your fault. It's a "...wait, what??" reaction caused by their experiences with the other 9 out of 10 girls that they are familiar with.

The PC term isn't "scary", by the way. :P It's "femme fatale".

[seraphimcloud]

but don't people GO for femme fatales? maybe that's just for the tongue-shoving.

[nounadjective]

You know, I had something deep and meaningful to say to this post. I really did. But I read over it and immediately felt like I was being a presumptuous douchebag the entire time. Plus, I feel like I'm on your shit list right now, so being a douchebag to you over livejournal wouldn't exactly help the situation.

I think you're awesome. All those things that make you "scary" are what made me want to be your friend in the first place. So, for what it's worth, you don't repel all guys.

[seraphimcloud]

You're not on my shit list. That visit was just for, multiple reasons including you, me and other people (peeing in cabinet anyone?) somewhat weirdly awkward. But it was a visit out of time and space. Like, it was kind of an odd, surreal thing. I think when I live back east and I see y'all more often, things will be different, really.

I'm also going through a wierd phase. Actually, it would be good to talk to you. I've made idiot decisions again lately and Zack doesn't like talking to me about them anymore because he's going to go be a marine and clean up his life, so that leaves you as the only person I can tell every fucking nasty detail about my idiot choices too without censoring anything.

Let me begin my saying this...

[tuxedo_deej]

Guys are little bitches(sometimes)...believe me, I'd know.

...moving on...

Mel, my sweet white chocolate mamasita, I by no means find you "scary." I'm a firm believer in having a strong attitude and being able to speak your mind. And as Jake said, those are the things that made me wana be your friend to begin with! Some guys are just bitches and aren't used to women having such a strong presence. Thats what I find attractive. A girl that speaks her mind and doesn't hold her tounge. But we all (TBS) have seen the softer, more sensitive side of Mel also. You're a great girl. Some men are just afraid of commitment and for them to be afraid of a girl that radiates such personality and fun are surely mistaken. They're missing out on a great girl. Am I wrong? No, I'm not. Don't questoin the black man. Hehe. Come September, we'll go out and do some manhunting for you. I know a bunch of guys that I think will dig my white chocolate roommate! LOVE YA! We have an apartment!!!

-Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeej

Re: Let me begin my saying this...

[seraphimcloud]

Thaaank yoooou *hearts* you know good things to say.

I'm really looking foward to moving. I'm really scared too. You know how you get when you know something big, really big is going to change soon? I start to get anxious and addled. Not because moving is so hard physically, but emotionally, and no matter how many times I do it I really fuck something up. I've already become slightly fatalistic (meaning that I accept the consequences of my stupid actions as a matter of fact, not as something that I can change, and not meaning that I want to kill myself [fatalism is a confusing word]) about my job and my relationships. "I'm leaving anyway, what does it matter," and i hate that and I try not to but its always in the back of your head.

Tad might even fly out here to help me move there. Fuckin nuts, right? We'll see. He's gotten better about keeping his promises lately.

Maybe.

Luv.