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But what if when I'm finally ready to pursue her, she'll have gotten her life together and will have no use for someone like me? I don't always know how to deal with this whole issue of desiring slow moving emotional development but seemingly no one else does.
This entry was originally posted at http://skellaxinscruples.dreamwidth.org/10226.html ( Read more... ) -
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It feels like the beginning of a new year. I'm saying that largely because I have a fresh computer installation, and Halloween is always so special for me, and also I just got paid. I got a tarot reading from a struggling friend, which was enjoyable. I have no idea what I'm doing tonight, tbh... but this morning, I'm going to move the remainder of ( Read more... ) -
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I got a cute knife and cutting board in the mail, and the knife has a pink handle and a pink sheath, and I can't help but think of Rose Quartz. Some part of me wants to keep it around me all the time, but it's just a paring knife and it would be happier in my kitchen.
Nonetheless, I have to admit I had a cute little fantasy of Rose Quartz carrying a ( Read more... ) -
aren't we always back to square one?
ugh.
I've made a comeback. It's a strange, sad feeling, but it gives me hope, because I've been so deeply withdrawn for so long, and it seems like I'm finally slowly slithering my way back into being alive. Being alive hurts sometimes, has problems and troubles, but I feel like a person better capable of weathering those troubles, given the five, ( Read more... ) -
smoking on the balcony is not as fun without you
Oh.
Everything has been put off. That's okay, it's pretty common in my life... time always feels slow. Very rarely does anything that seriously bad actually come to fruition, and it's never as bad as I'd expect it to be. So, I haven't moved yet, Lucas hasn't come yet, it's all very quiet.
I had a rough weekend, very severe CPTSD flare up, no idea ( Read more... ) -
I'm having a lot of feelings.
I need to move next week. Staying in Phoenix still, but the place I'm currently in is going to be renovated and probably sold. It's more expensive for my mom to pay for this place than to pay months and months of rent somewhere else ( Read more... ) -
odd thought
Although I have two partners right now, this is probably the closest to single I've ever been. I mean, I have a few friends who propositioned me the other night and I'm like "eh sure," but like, that's far away. I dunno. I'm deep in people's feels and trust but right now I feel more self-motivated than I ever have. Sometimes that means that I ( Read more... ) -
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I'm not the best at the work-life balance. I've mostly been a bum this month, like, I've earned some money but not as much as I was supposed to. It's sort of... when will it ever be like this again? when will I have no pressing obligations and such low stakes, where I can just kind of waste time without an angry cloud over my head waiting to ( Read more... ) -
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To be honest, I stopped writing here (and in general) because an easily identifiable anon fuckboy was mean to me. I'm pretty sensitive, if we're honest.
Today, I finished the last two credits of my undergrad degree. AFAIK, I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL FOREVER.
.Wow. The Muppet Show was pretty gdamn intense.
Anyway, Winegirl is Winegirl. She's inconsistent ( Read more... ) -
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I like the night. There's such a dearth (not complete) of things happening; the pressures of daylight are on hold, while the world sleeps. It is a respite of a few hours, at least, that the Responsible World won't come and harangue me; business hours are over. Old people need to sleep off their geriatric exhaustion. I hear the occasional car on ( Read more... )
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