Creepy Cousin Frank [[2/2]]
Small Author's note: There really isn't a visual to go with this... but you can look at this picture. DOESN'T FRANK LOOK CREEPY? This is what I imagine 30 year old Frank to look like.
The Prom
Gerard didn’t think going to the prom with Frank could get any more embarrassing. He underestimated the creepiness. One glance of Frank’s suit confirmed Gerard’s belief that nobody looked good in a yellow suit. His own black tux would surely earn them several bumblebee comments.
The two men stared at each other for a good five minutes. Gerard’s eyes squinted at the fluorescent suit while Frank had a strange smile that made Gerard wonder if he watched him dress. Or was undressing him with his eyes. Or both.
Frank broke the silence with a sexual compliment, as expected, which made Gerard’s eye twitch a little bit. Instead of answering back, he went into the kitchen and proceeded to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I am not going, he thought to himself as he bit into the sandwich, causing a glop of jelly to land on his white dress shirt. He was definitely not going.
Frank waltzed into the kitchen and stood behind Gerard. “Are we going? I left the car running.” Gerard took his focus off his sandwich long enough to flip Frank off. “Oh, I see… you want to stay here and play around, right? When the younger man felt the hand on the back of his thigh, he set the sticky sandwich on the kitchen counter and dragged Frank out of his house. He considered going back inside when he saw Frank’s car. It was probably the first Mazda ever made. From what Gerard could see, if anyone were to sit in it, it might just spontaneously combust. The eye twitching started up again.
The older of the two skipped (yes, skipped) to his car and opened the passenger door after a few kicks and handle jingling. He held out his hand to Gerard who simply looked at it before getting into the car unaided.
The car looked about as good in the inside as it did on the outside and several times during the car ride, Gerard swore something in the backseat was moving. Frank had informed him that the radio was busted and insisted on singing show tunes the whole way to the school. Gerard had a secret passion for show tunes, but he wasn’t about to tell his cousin that he actually enjoyed the car ride.
The school parking lot was already packed and Frank drove in a circle three times before he found a spot to park. Gerard immediately jumped out of the car and adjusted his shirt and jacket to hide the purple jelly stain. While Frank checked himself out in his rear-view mirror, Gerard headed toward the school suddenly wishing he were going alone. He heard Frank running behind him to catch up and thought about running which he dismissed quickly due to his chubbiness and Frank being in shape.
Frank’s arm slowly slid around Gerard and into his pants pocket. Gerard didn’t have the chance to move his arm because they were in clear view of his classmates and there was no way they could find out that Frank was his cousin. He forced himself to smile and pulled Frank closer to him which made Frank think that rubbing Gerard’s hip inside his pocket was acceptable. Gerard made a mental note to get him back for that.
To Gerard’s complete surprise, Frank was a complete hit at the prom. Despite his banana yellow suit, the girls thought he was absolutely adorable and flirted more than they would if they knew Frank had been out of high school twelve years.
Gerard seemed set on becoming a permanent fixture on the wall. He had sent Frank several times to get punch knowing full and well he would be swarmed by a group of girls who were completely ignoring their dates. Gerard would have loved to be the one to burst their bubble and tell them about the real Frank was 30 and in love with his cousin. He wasn’t that stupid. Even with a few weeks left in his high school career, he didn’t want to endure “kissing cousins” rumors, even though they would kind of be half-true.
About halfway through the prom, Mikey showed up with that stupid derby hat Gerard constantly told him was NEVER going back in style. He had his left arm draped over who he recognized Alicia, the girl Mikey was in love with but just didn’t know it yet. Alicia’s mouth was closed tight to hide her braces and her hand was suspiciously in her messenger bag. Ah, Gerard thought, They‘re here to spike the punch. Leave it to Mikey to provoke teenage sex and pregnancy. He, personally, wasn’t too thrilled on getting smashed that night because god knows what Frank would do to his unconscious body.
He slipped outside into the parking lot unnoticed and took his crumpled pack of cigarettes out of his pants pocket and a lighter out of his coat jacket. He heard footsteps behind him after the first few puffs and quickly put the cancer stick out, thinking it was a teacher. It turned out to just be Frank, who had apparently lost his jacket in the ambush of teenaged girls. The two of them sat in their usual awkward silence before Frank spoke.
“I’m glad you chose me to be your date.” Frank turned to Gerard and smiled genuinely at him.
“…You’re not gonna give me a date rape drug or anything are you?”
“No, I’m being serious.” And for once in Gerard’s life, Frank actually did look serious. “I was hated so much when I was in high school. I was stuffed into lockers and had tons of shit thrown at me. I didn’t even go to my high school prom, and I really do appreciate you trusting me enough to bring me to yours.”
“Oh…” In reality, Gerard could probably trust nobody as little as he did Frank. He didn’t want to ruin the moment though, so he nodded and smiled back. “I really wish I didn’t come. This isn’t really more special than any other night." Frank shrugged and moved a little closer to Gerard.
“I, uh, saw Mikey putting an unidentified substance in the punch bowl. Is he spiking it?” Gerard nodded and Frank immediately burst into laughter. “Kids still do that now?”
Gerard frowned. He always forgot how old Frank really was sometimes when he was acting un-creepy. “Yeah… I did it last year. Quinn and Jeph are most likely in Quinn’s car waiting for him to come back. They’re together so much that I think Mikey’s slowly moving into Quinn’s house.”
Frank nodded and leaned back on the heels of his hands. “Is that girl he was with his girlfriend?”
“Basically, but Mikey’s not aware that Alicia’s in love with him and he loves her back. He’s really not the brightest person in existence.” Gerard giggled and stared down at the pavement. “Y’know… you’re not so creepy when you’re not making sexual advances toward me. It makes you kind of a cool person.”
“I take offense to the creepy part. I’m not creepy… I just happen to want to do dirty things to my cousin. That shouldn’t make me creepy.” Gerard stared at Frank and shook his head. “I’m kidding! But seriously, I think I deserve a “good prom date” kiss. It’s only right.”
“No!”
“Come oooon,” Frank pleaded. “I took you to your prom AND I kept it a secret that you’re my cousin. I don’t even think anybody knows that you came here with me. Just a peck?“ Gerard sighed and looked around before leaning forward and pecking his cousin quickly on the lips. “I meant on the cheek… but okay.”
Gerard blushed and looked away from Frank who was grinning like an idiot. “Let’s just go home. I’m tired.”
“What about your prom picture? Don’t you want to remember this night forever?”
“If you’re in the picture? …No.”
“You don’t have to take a picture with me though, but you look cute. It would be a shame for you to get all dressed up for no reason.”
“If I take the goddamn picture, will you stop talking about it?” Frank nodded. Gerard also nodded and stood up to help the older man up. They walked back into the school gym together where after several minutes of arguing, Gerard asked the photographer to take his picture. Afterwards, he filled out a order form which would send his pictures in the mail about two weeks later.
The spiked punch seemed to be already taking an affect on Gerard’s classmates who were groping anyone within their reach. Frank saw the expression of disgust mixed with horror and took Gerard home.
When they pulled up to the younger man’s house they both stared at it without moving. Gerard finally had sense enough to get out of the car.
“Wait!” Frank got out of the car and ran around the car to Gerard. “Don’t I get to walk you to the door?”
“Don’t you still live with your mom? She’ll be worried.” Gerard flashed a sarcastic smile at Frank and walked up to his house, but the front door was blocked by Mikey and Alicia sloppily making out on the front steps. Gerard threw a rock at Mikey.
“Hey! What the hell?” The look in his eyes told Gerard that Mikey had a cup or two of the spiked punch and so had Alicia.
“Get in the house. Just because Mom’s not here it doesn’t mean that you don’t have a curfew. You too, Alicia. Home. Now.” The two teenagers scowled at Gerard and hugged each other goodbye before Mikey stumbled into the house and Alicia stumbled next door to her house.
“Laying down the law, big brother Gerard?”
“Shut up, Frank. Go home.” Gerard started to go into his house, but he was pulled back by Frank.
“What about my goodnight kiss?”
“I already kissed you at the school, remember?” He folded his arms, staring Frank down.
“Yeah, but this is different. I walked you to your door and everything. I think I deserve something.”
Gerard’s expression softened and became a smile. “Yes… you do deserve something.” He delivered a swift kick to his cousin’s ankle and shoved him backwards onto the lawn. “That’s for rubbing my fucking thigh.” And with that Gerard went into his house and quickly shut and locked the door behind him. Frank picked himself off the ground and limped to his car.
This would make a great story at the family reunion.