Fic: Sometimes I Need That Romance
Title: Sometimes I Need That Romance
Pairing: Luhan/Yixing
Word Count: 1800+
Rating: NC-17
Summary: All Yixing wants is for Luhan to feel good.
Sometimes I Need That Romance
It's a bit uncomfortable, Yixing thinks, the way Luhan's bony hips dig in to the curve of his ass, shooting a sharp pain right up the backs of his thighs as he cants into him. There isn't much flesh there to begin with, so it's really just bone meeting bone, causing more of a dull thud than a slap. Luhan could really do with putting on a few pounds, and Yixing makes a mental note to shove more food onto his plate the next time they get a chance to sit down and eat together.
Yixing is folded in half for him and his arms are starting to get tired from holding up the backs of his knees. Luhan is hovering over him, arms stiff at either side of Yixing's head, keeping himself propped up. The only real skin to skin contact occurs down at their hips. It doesn't feel nearly as good for Yixing as it should, or maybe as it could. Luhan's cock is slick and glides into him easily but it's still not quite right, something isn't right. Maybe it's the way Yixing, quite literally, holds himself inwards, keeping everything to himself as he lets Luhan feel and take and push. And the contrast between that and what he wishes he could do, or maybe should do, is almost painful in itself. Things like smoothing the frown off of Luhan's lips with his own, running fingers through the back of Luhan's hair, arching his own hips back to meet Luhan's. But there's a sort of unspoken set of rules when they fuck, and these all would cross the line.
Luhan is surprisingly silent when they do this. He's not a quiet person by any means, especially not around Yixing, but when they fuck he doesn't make a sound, and in turn Yixing makes a point to stay quiet too. Yixing doesn't want to let on that he's enjoying this more than he should be. Enjoying it maybe isn't the right word, because the balance between pleasure and pain is teetering a little too far towards the latter. He's not even hard yet, and honestly Luhan doesn't really seem to know what he's doing so he doesn't expect to be.
He'd be lying, though, if he said this was still just for Luhan, just to help him get off. He doesn't quite get off from it himself, at least not in the same way, but he likes being the one who can do this for Luhan, likes being the person who can help him release some of the tension. He wonders if their band mates know, if they see the shift in personality that Yixing sees. When Luhan's temper significantly shortens, when his attention span is similar to that of a small child and he snaps at the smallest of things. He wonders if they even spare them a glance when Luhan grips tightly onto Yixing's wrist, dragging him to their dorm as soon as they're able. Yixing knows, he can tell as soon as they wake up when he gets like this. So when Luhan stands in front of him, violently trying to tear his own jeans off before looking up helplessly and whimpering a frustrated “Yixing, help me out” it comes as no surprise and Yixing pauses his own undressing, no hesitation to comply.
It usually doesn't take long for Luhan to finish. Yixing is just a tool, a body, something quick and different and in a few moments it's all over and Luhan can breathe again. They never talk about it either, Yixing isn't sure what they'd say if they did, but it's too easy to fall into this. Luhan's learned to prep him quickly too, hands a little shaky as he slowly slides his overly lubed fingers in and out, pushing just that bit too hard to get to where he wants to be, buried deep within Yixing.
Luhan isn't completely careless though, he's always conscious of hurting Yixing and Yixing even swears he sees the guilt written on Luhan's face at times. When he struggles to sit down backstage at a recording, face tightening from the sharp pain, Luhan is always the first to press a firm hand to his lower back, helping him down. It's easy to disguise too, blame it on the dancing. Yixing honestly doesn't mind it, but it's more painful to see the look on Luhan's face when he notices it, a look of shame and possibly regret and all Yixing can do is force a smile because the only thing he regrets is not telling Luhan how much he really loves him.
A car drives by their dorm window, trailing a steady beam of light across the room and for that small moment time seems to slow down and Yixing takes in the sight in front of him. There are beads of sweat trailing down Luhan's jaw and his arms are trembling, struggling to hold up the weight of his own shoulders. Luhan never looks at Yixing. In fact, he never even looks up, keeping his gaze fixed at their hips, at the push and pull, occasionally squeezing his eyes shut as sweat slips down from his forehead. He's biting angrily at his own lower lip, breathing heavily out of his nose. In that moment, when the light crosses, Yixing can briefly see Luhan's brows furrowed tightly beneath sweaty bangs, and he suddenly has the urge to tell him to relax, even though he's the one who feels like he's being torn apart from the inside out.
“Luhan,” he moans, and even he is shocked at how breathy and strained his own voice sounds. Luhan's head jerks up and finally meets his gaze and Yixing thinks this is probably the first time either of them has said anything during sex, let alone made eye contact. Luhan's thrusts slow down significantly and he lets his lower lip slip out from between his teeth and with his jaw slack and his eyes glazed over Yixing realizes how beautiful he really is, he just wishes his eyes didn't look so sad.
Something in Luhan breaks when their eyes meet and lets his arms finally lose their tension, falling to his elbows at either side of Yixing's head. His hips are still pushing, cock sliding in and out at an almost painfully slow rate now, but Yixing thinks he likes it better this way, it's less rushed and gives him more time to feel. And Luhan's hands seem to get curious now, soft fingers brushing the hair out of Yixing's eyes before moving down to trail the outline of Yixing's lips. Yixing decides to give in this time, doing something selfish for once because, fuck, he really would do anything for this boy, but sometimes it's nice to feel wanted. So he presses his lips to Luhan's fingers- once, twice, and his heart nearly jumps out of his chest when Luhan whispers his name in response.
And then Luhan's fingers are now in Yixing's hair and Luhan's soft lips are on his, and Yixing thinks they could stay like this forever and he wouldn't mind. He's always wanted to taste Luhan, they are always so close, physically and otherwise, but he's never had a taste. Luhan's lips are already swollen from biting on them himself so Yixing tries to soothe them, sucking gently on Luhan's tongue before lightly tracing the outline of the scar on Luhan's lip with his tongue.
And it hits him that maybe this is why he does this, he wants Luhan to relax, wants him to feel good. He's the one who checks Luhan's canned drinks before giving them to him to make sure he doesn't cut himself, the one who has to grab Luhan by the arm lest he walk into a wall or another glass door because Luhan is just that little bit airy. If he can step this up, move from protecting what's there to giving him what isn't, Yixing will be elated. He is supposed to be the healer, after all.
But before he can really take it all in, Luhan grunts and pushes his forehead into Yixing's collarbone, cock pulsing inside him as he comes, and before Yixing can hold him there like he wants to, Luhan's already pulling out and making his way to his own bed. Yixing drifts off to the deafening sound of his own heartbeat and he quickly jerks himself off into his balled up boxers before tossing the mess off the bed and letting sleep take hold.
Luhan is fine the next day, everything back to normal as usual, and Yixing tries hard not to dwell. It's difficult now though, more than he's used to. He's had a taste and he wants more, never wants to stop tasting Luhan, but he feels like that was such a fleeting moment, gone as quickly as the light from the car, and he worries that he may never taste again.
Except this time there is no warning. Luhan's mood is as stable and normal as ever, that is until he wraps his fingers around Yixing's wrist, tugging them into their shared room a little earlier than usual. Yixing panics a little, this is familiar but he doesn't want to misread this, maybe Luhan just wanted to be alone, but he'd shown no signs of that earlier. And when they both enter the room and Luhan pins Yixing against the door, Yixing feels like his entire being crumbles as Luhan presses soft lips to his, and he gets to taste again. Yixing feels his heart somewhere near his throat when Luhan pulls back, taking in Yixing's bewildered expression before pressing their foreheads together and sighing out “I want this”.
Yixing knows this is all they will ever be. Stuck in the confines of their dorm, allowing their friendship, or whatever their relationship is, to slip through the cracks in the daylight but keeping it close to heart at night. Luhan can never really be his, at least not more than he already is.
There's a rift in the air though, a palpable divergence from the norm as Luhan rolls his hips into Yixing's, stomachs pressed almost flush together this time. He licks a stripe up the side of Yixing's neck, pausing to press his lips just below his ear and Yixing, without thinking, moves his hips down to meet his thrusts. He wraps his legs around Luhan's waist, wanting to feel more, no- all of Luhan. Luhan lets go of a broken, loud moan. Yixing's hands work their way up the sides of Luhan's face, fingers tangling in his hair and Luhan breathes out against the skin of his neck “I want you to feel good,” and his hand trails down Yixing's stomach, fingers twisting around his cock and “-tell me how I can make it feel good for you.”
Yixing thinks maybe this is more than enough.
an- lskhg /skips around
Pairing: Luhan/Yixing
Word Count: 1800+
Rating: NC-17
Summary: All Yixing wants is for Luhan to feel good.
Sometimes I Need That Romance
It's a bit uncomfortable, Yixing thinks, the way Luhan's bony hips dig in to the curve of his ass, shooting a sharp pain right up the backs of his thighs as he cants into him. There isn't much flesh there to begin with, so it's really just bone meeting bone, causing more of a dull thud than a slap. Luhan could really do with putting on a few pounds, and Yixing makes a mental note to shove more food onto his plate the next time they get a chance to sit down and eat together.
Yixing is folded in half for him and his arms are starting to get tired from holding up the backs of his knees. Luhan is hovering over him, arms stiff at either side of Yixing's head, keeping himself propped up. The only real skin to skin contact occurs down at their hips. It doesn't feel nearly as good for Yixing as it should, or maybe as it could. Luhan's cock is slick and glides into him easily but it's still not quite right, something isn't right. Maybe it's the way Yixing, quite literally, holds himself inwards, keeping everything to himself as he lets Luhan feel and take and push. And the contrast between that and what he wishes he could do, or maybe should do, is almost painful in itself. Things like smoothing the frown off of Luhan's lips with his own, running fingers through the back of Luhan's hair, arching his own hips back to meet Luhan's. But there's a sort of unspoken set of rules when they fuck, and these all would cross the line.
Luhan is surprisingly silent when they do this. He's not a quiet person by any means, especially not around Yixing, but when they fuck he doesn't make a sound, and in turn Yixing makes a point to stay quiet too. Yixing doesn't want to let on that he's enjoying this more than he should be. Enjoying it maybe isn't the right word, because the balance between pleasure and pain is teetering a little too far towards the latter. He's not even hard yet, and honestly Luhan doesn't really seem to know what he's doing so he doesn't expect to be.
He'd be lying, though, if he said this was still just for Luhan, just to help him get off. He doesn't quite get off from it himself, at least not in the same way, but he likes being the one who can do this for Luhan, likes being the person who can help him release some of the tension. He wonders if their band mates know, if they see the shift in personality that Yixing sees. When Luhan's temper significantly shortens, when his attention span is similar to that of a small child and he snaps at the smallest of things. He wonders if they even spare them a glance when Luhan grips tightly onto Yixing's wrist, dragging him to their dorm as soon as they're able. Yixing knows, he can tell as soon as they wake up when he gets like this. So when Luhan stands in front of him, violently trying to tear his own jeans off before looking up helplessly and whimpering a frustrated “Yixing, help me out” it comes as no surprise and Yixing pauses his own undressing, no hesitation to comply.
It usually doesn't take long for Luhan to finish. Yixing is just a tool, a body, something quick and different and in a few moments it's all over and Luhan can breathe again. They never talk about it either, Yixing isn't sure what they'd say if they did, but it's too easy to fall into this. Luhan's learned to prep him quickly too, hands a little shaky as he slowly slides his overly lubed fingers in and out, pushing just that bit too hard to get to where he wants to be, buried deep within Yixing.
Luhan isn't completely careless though, he's always conscious of hurting Yixing and Yixing even swears he sees the guilt written on Luhan's face at times. When he struggles to sit down backstage at a recording, face tightening from the sharp pain, Luhan is always the first to press a firm hand to his lower back, helping him down. It's easy to disguise too, blame it on the dancing. Yixing honestly doesn't mind it, but it's more painful to see the look on Luhan's face when he notices it, a look of shame and possibly regret and all Yixing can do is force a smile because the only thing he regrets is not telling Luhan how much he really loves him.
A car drives by their dorm window, trailing a steady beam of light across the room and for that small moment time seems to slow down and Yixing takes in the sight in front of him. There are beads of sweat trailing down Luhan's jaw and his arms are trembling, struggling to hold up the weight of his own shoulders. Luhan never looks at Yixing. In fact, he never even looks up, keeping his gaze fixed at their hips, at the push and pull, occasionally squeezing his eyes shut as sweat slips down from his forehead. He's biting angrily at his own lower lip, breathing heavily out of his nose. In that moment, when the light crosses, Yixing can briefly see Luhan's brows furrowed tightly beneath sweaty bangs, and he suddenly has the urge to tell him to relax, even though he's the one who feels like he's being torn apart from the inside out.
“Luhan,” he moans, and even he is shocked at how breathy and strained his own voice sounds. Luhan's head jerks up and finally meets his gaze and Yixing thinks this is probably the first time either of them has said anything during sex, let alone made eye contact. Luhan's thrusts slow down significantly and he lets his lower lip slip out from between his teeth and with his jaw slack and his eyes glazed over Yixing realizes how beautiful he really is, he just wishes his eyes didn't look so sad.
Something in Luhan breaks when their eyes meet and lets his arms finally lose their tension, falling to his elbows at either side of Yixing's head. His hips are still pushing, cock sliding in and out at an almost painfully slow rate now, but Yixing thinks he likes it better this way, it's less rushed and gives him more time to feel. And Luhan's hands seem to get curious now, soft fingers brushing the hair out of Yixing's eyes before moving down to trail the outline of Yixing's lips. Yixing decides to give in this time, doing something selfish for once because, fuck, he really would do anything for this boy, but sometimes it's nice to feel wanted. So he presses his lips to Luhan's fingers- once, twice, and his heart nearly jumps out of his chest when Luhan whispers his name in response.
And then Luhan's fingers are now in Yixing's hair and Luhan's soft lips are on his, and Yixing thinks they could stay like this forever and he wouldn't mind. He's always wanted to taste Luhan, they are always so close, physically and otherwise, but he's never had a taste. Luhan's lips are already swollen from biting on them himself so Yixing tries to soothe them, sucking gently on Luhan's tongue before lightly tracing the outline of the scar on Luhan's lip with his tongue.
And it hits him that maybe this is why he does this, he wants Luhan to relax, wants him to feel good. He's the one who checks Luhan's canned drinks before giving them to him to make sure he doesn't cut himself, the one who has to grab Luhan by the arm lest he walk into a wall or another glass door because Luhan is just that little bit airy. If he can step this up, move from protecting what's there to giving him what isn't, Yixing will be elated. He is supposed to be the healer, after all.
But before he can really take it all in, Luhan grunts and pushes his forehead into Yixing's collarbone, cock pulsing inside him as he comes, and before Yixing can hold him there like he wants to, Luhan's already pulling out and making his way to his own bed. Yixing drifts off to the deafening sound of his own heartbeat and he quickly jerks himself off into his balled up boxers before tossing the mess off the bed and letting sleep take hold.
Luhan is fine the next day, everything back to normal as usual, and Yixing tries hard not to dwell. It's difficult now though, more than he's used to. He's had a taste and he wants more, never wants to stop tasting Luhan, but he feels like that was such a fleeting moment, gone as quickly as the light from the car, and he worries that he may never taste again.
Except this time there is no warning. Luhan's mood is as stable and normal as ever, that is until he wraps his fingers around Yixing's wrist, tugging them into their shared room a little earlier than usual. Yixing panics a little, this is familiar but he doesn't want to misread this, maybe Luhan just wanted to be alone, but he'd shown no signs of that earlier. And when they both enter the room and Luhan pins Yixing against the door, Yixing feels like his entire being crumbles as Luhan presses soft lips to his, and he gets to taste again. Yixing feels his heart somewhere near his throat when Luhan pulls back, taking in Yixing's bewildered expression before pressing their foreheads together and sighing out “I want this”.
Yixing knows this is all they will ever be. Stuck in the confines of their dorm, allowing their friendship, or whatever their relationship is, to slip through the cracks in the daylight but keeping it close to heart at night. Luhan can never really be his, at least not more than he already is.
There's a rift in the air though, a palpable divergence from the norm as Luhan rolls his hips into Yixing's, stomachs pressed almost flush together this time. He licks a stripe up the side of Yixing's neck, pausing to press his lips just below his ear and Yixing, without thinking, moves his hips down to meet his thrusts. He wraps his legs around Luhan's waist, wanting to feel more, no- all of Luhan. Luhan lets go of a broken, loud moan. Yixing's hands work their way up the sides of Luhan's face, fingers tangling in his hair and Luhan breathes out against the skin of his neck “I want you to feel good,” and his hand trails down Yixing's stomach, fingers twisting around his cock and “-tell me how I can make it feel good for you.”
Yixing thinks maybe this is more than enough.
an- lskhg /skips around