Cabaret: Part 4
Soundtrack: 24. Lana Del Rey - Diet Mountain Dew // 25. EXO - Moonlight // 26. Melody Gardot - Our Love Is Easy (Chill Out Mix) // 27. Sofia Karlberg - Shameless // 28. Lana Del Rey - Cola // 29. Kahi - It's Me // 30. Ray Charles - Hit The Road Jack
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CHAPTER 4
“Chanyeol … I don't know, man …”, Sehun mumbled.
“What is it Sehun?”, the other asked with a steaming cup of coffee in his hands.
“I just thought … I mean … I don't see any future for me here.” He sounded resignedly.
“Well, I've been telling you that all along.” Chanyeol just shrugged his shoulders.
“But what if I'm gonna quit? What am I gonna do next? You know the situation on the labor market. And no other reputable newspaper would wanna hire me after all those trash articles I wrote.”
The two sat in Sehun's office. It was Monday afternoon and for Sehun that meant he had a shitload of work to do - actually. But right now he preferred complaining to Chanyeol about how dissatisfied he was with the overall situation.
“Have you ever considered changing your career, Sehun?”, Chanyeol suggested.
“And to what?”
“For example to a profession you might enjoy for a change?!” The sarcasm was strong.
“Hm …”
“Sehun. I think one of your biggest problems is that you're too afraid of change. Yes, you will probably piss off a few people in the process, but people are pissing you off all the the time, too. So what's the big deal?”
“I know …”, Sehun admitted. “But what are my parents gonna say?”
“Your parents? Sehun, you're a grown man who can make his own decisions.”
“But they weren't particularly happy about me choosing this career and if they'll hear that I quit … well …”
“Sehun. Excuse my language, but fuck your parents' preferences, okay? This is your life and you can make your own choices. I mean, look at you. You're basically having a midlife crisis at the age of twenty-seven. Don't you think there's anything wrong with that? Don't think you deserve some happiness?”
Sehun didn't know what to answer.
Maybe he really did. Maybe he deserved some happiness. He had been unhappy for much too long.
It was quitting time and Sehun was tired. Not just today, but in general.
He knew he couldn't continue like this. He had to change his life. Chanyeol had indeed been telling this to him ever since and now that he met Luhan the idea finally came to fruition.
Sehun had ultimately accepted that he was attracted to Luhan. They had been dry humping the other day and it was fucking great. Luhan completely and utterly bewitched him. Just thinking of him made Sehun's heart speed up, his cheeks tint pink and his head fuzzy. He loved how lively, how sensible, how thrilling, how caring the other was. Every single time that he met Luhan, Sehun lost his mind. Or did he? Did he really lose his mind? Or did he find it …?
Because, truthfully, Sehun had never felt more like himself than when he was with Luhan. Sehun loved that feeling, too. Luhan made him believe that he could escape his life, that he could ignore all the negativity and float through the world on a fluffy, warm cloud. He made him believe that he could have back the life he was forced to give up eight years ago. He made him believe that anything was possible.
Speaking of the devil!
When Sehun stepped out of the doors of the bureau with a last goodbye to Chanyeol who was busy sorting brochures, he spotted Luhan leaning against a car right by the sidewalk.
“Luhan?”, he asked incredulously. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh hey, Sehun. I've been waiting for you.” Luhan smiled sweetly and Sehun felt his heart jumping out of his chest.
“How do you know I work here?”
“Uh … you told once, when we were talking on the rooftop.”
“You remember?”
“Of course.” Luhan smiled again.
“So … you waited here for me.” Sehun repeated awkwardly.
“Yes. I wanted to pick you up.”
“We're going somewhere? I can't remember agreeing to a date.”
“Oh, it wasn't supposed to be a date, or do you want it to be one?” Mischief was back in Luhan's eyes.
“Uhm …”, Sehun blushed.
“We're gonna skip town. I think you need it.”
“W-W-Wait, I can't just leave the city. I got work tomorrow.”
“You can leave, Sehun. Believe me, you need some time outside of this mass of people.”
“Luhan, I don't know …”
“Come on …”
And that was all it took. The square in Sehun was broken to a degree that a fiery look of Luhan's eyes was enough to crash its will.
Sehun hopped in the passenger seat and fastened his seat belt. “Drive.”, he commanded when Luhan got in the car as well. “Drive, before I change my mind.”
~
While driving through the busy Seoul, Sehun remained tense and quiet on his seat. Horror nightmares of the consequences haunted him. Once they reached the outskirts, he became more relaxed, accepting that he was doomed one way or another.
Luhan turned on some generic music that continued playing in the background. “By the way, it's my first time seeing you in those pants.”, he commented.
Sehun looked at him confusedly.
“I mean … black skinny jeans … Since when do you wear those?” He giggled gleefully.
“Uhm, well …” Sehun had felt very risky this morning and dared to wear those dashing pants again. Who knew that it would indeed turn out to be a risky day. He was driving with Luhan to nowhere and tomorrow was a work day - he hadn't done something this irresponsible since … probably ever.
“It suits you.”, complimented Luhan. “I like.” He winked at Sehun.
“Look at the road.”, the other grumbled, not knowing how to deal with the compliment.
“Where are we gonna drive, anyways?
“Somewhere, where we can see the stars.” Luhan smiled softly.
“Oh.” Sehun remembered.
The drive continued in peaceful silence - Sehun using the time to admire Luhan from the side. Today he was wearing casual clothing again. Most likely he wore this every day and used the shows to live out his other preferences. A convenient solution. Sehun couldn't decide whether he liked casual Luhan or crossdress Luhan better. They were both stunning. But the most stunning thing about Luhan was his personality. Sehun didn't want to lose it anymore.
Luhan drove the streets from Seoul to Chuncheon, but halfway there he left the main streets and drove into a country lane that led into the forest which lined the roads everywhere. Meanwhile the sun had started to set and orange and pinkish shades colored the leaves of the trees.
Sehun, who had been dozing for a while, woke up again and looked around curiously. “Have you ever been here before?”
“Yes, two times. But it's been long since I've last been here. I hope the clearing is still there.”
After driving the bumpy and curvy path for ten more minutes, Luhan finally halted the car. “We're here.”, he muttered with a rough voice.
Sehun unfastened his seat belt and stepped out of the car to take in the new scenery.
The car was parked at the side of a small clearing, almost circularly shaped. Lush, green grass sprawled everywhere around them. The last rays of the sun caused the trees to cast long shadows, making the place seem somewhat surreal.
Sehun took in the air for the first time and enjoyed how fresh and invigorating it felt, especially compared to the emission-contaminated air of the big city. Sehun couldn't get enough of breathing in. For a moment he forget that Luhan was still there and stepped towards the center of the clearing, realizing that he didn't wear the right shoes for such an adventure, but he couldn't care less. He felt so unattached, so ethereal, so entranced.
In the meantime, Luhan got a thick blanket and a box with food from the trunk. He spread out the blanket in front of the car and ensconced himself, his back leaning against the door. He watched Sehun slowly turning around himself, his eyes and mouth opened in awe. “Do you enjoy yourself?
”, Luhan giggled. He could see the younger turning red even from the distance.
Sehun bashfully returned to older and slumped down next to him.
“Want some?” Luhan offered him the food box filled with kimbap.
Sehun thankfully took a roll. “Self-made?”
“Self-bought.”
Sehun huffed but gladly ate it.
While eating together, Luhan slowly slid closer to Sehun until he could rest his head on the latter's shoulder. Sehun didn't mind. He rather enjoyed the feeling of Luhan's hair tickling his cheek. Occasionally he side-eyed the beautiful man and lost himself at the view.
“Look!”, Luhan said after a while. “The stars.” His eyes were drawn to the sky and Sehun followed his look.
The night sky was magnificent. They were lucky this evening; there wasn't a single cloud in sight - a beautiful, starry night. So many stars dotted the dark firmament and no light pollution was there to reduce their shine.
Looking at the sheer number of them and the vast space that opened up before his eyes, Sehun felt his feeling of self shrinking rapidly. He felt so tiny and meaningless - in a good way - and he got a grasp of how unimportant he must be to the rest of the world. Maybe not to himself and not to the person right next to him. But to the rest of the world …?
Luhan had been talking about this when they first met and Sehun behaved like a dick. He basically said, that Sehun was too self-centered and thought the world would only revolve around him. Oh, how right he had been!
Looking at the sky and reconsidering his position in this world, Sehun felt a certain understanding of his overall situation falling into place.
“Sehun?”, Luhan muttered. “I know, I asked you this before, but … are you happy?”
“Right now, I am.” Sehun smiled blissfully.
“That's nice to hear.” Luhan took his head from Sehun's shoulders to look the other straight in the eyes. “And aside from now?”
“Not so much, I guess … Okay, not at all.”
“Do you intend to change that?”
“Yes, I do. Very much. But I'm scared, Luhan.”, Sehun admitted with downcast eyes.
“Why?”
“Because of the consequences.”
“Which consequences?”
“Just everything. New job, no money, family, people, everything. Continuing like this is easier.”
“But it doesn't make you happy.”
“Right. So what am I gonna do, Luhan?”
“I think the biggest obstacle that is hindering you to do or change anything is you, Sehun. All these risks and consequences are manageable, somehow. You just need to be willing to face them, because life is not gonna do you that favor. Life doesn't owe you anything. I told you before.”
“I know, Luhan. So what would I do about these things? What about my job? If I quit, where am I gonna get my money from?”
“I think, until you finally found a profession that you wanna do and got hired, you could maybe work as waiter in the Cabaret. We always need new ones anyway. The pay is … nothing extraordinary, but enough.”
“Hm … I think … I'll consider it. But what about the other people, what about my parents. What are they gonna say? What are they gonna do?”
Now, this was an aspect that had been bothering Luhan since quite a while. “Why are you so obsessed with other people's opinions? You're like this ever since we met. You want to be proper, you want to fit in, you don't want to scandalize. Why? I mean, it's okay to care about the opinions of certain people, I guess. It's normal. But you're seriously overdoing it. So why?”
Sehun gulped. “Probably … because I know what these other people can do, if you don't live up to their expectations.”
Surprisingly, that shut Luhan up for a moment. “Sehun …”, he whispered eventually. “What are you talking about …?”
“I told you that my foot got shattered, right? But I didn't tell you how.”
“Sehun …”
“Ever since I was young, I loved to dance.”, Sehun started off with a nostalgic expression on his face. “I had been pursuing it as a hobby for many, many years and during that time my parents never said a word because of it. They never took it seriously, but they let me be. But then, when the last school year started, they asked me to stop going to the dance studio. They said I should finally start acting like an adult and it would distract me from learning for the finals anyways. I refused and we had a pretty bad fight. Eventually, I dropped that my plan had been to become a professional dancer. They were enraged. It wasn't proper. My father is a bigwig in a company and he wanted me to start there, too. That would've meant for me to study economics or something like that. And I absolutely despise these subjects. They threatened me, if I didn't comply they would kick me out and not support me with any money, so yeah …” His mouth wrinkled into a bitter smile. “After some time I managed to convince them to let me choose another major. I chose journalism, since I had been pretty good at writing commentaries, reports and stuff like that in school, so I thought this was probably the safest and easiest option. My parents weren't exactly happy with my choice but to them it was at least better than dancing, so they dealt with it. They forbid me to dance. They wanted me to focus on learning. Of course I didn't care. I went to the studio secretly. It was during my first semester when my parents found out. And … long story short: My father crushed my foot.”
Luhan gasped in shock. How could a parent do something like this to its child? Sure Luhan's parents had been disappointed and angry when he told them he was gay, but they would have never treated him this way.
“In the hospital they said, I fell down the stairs.”, Sehun huffed. “Basically every single bone was broken. But unfortunately it wasn't just the bones. My father had been thorough. My ankle got off something, too. And that's the reason why I can't properly dance anymore. That day my parents not only successfully destroyed my dream of becoming a professional dancer but my dream of dancing in general. I - more or less - was forced to learn that sticking to the conventions is what keeps you safe in this world. Being conventional means that you don't have any dreams, but you also don't feel pain. I didn't want to feel pain anymore. Getting your dreams crushed is more painful than anything else, because you know that everything you've done so far was in vain.”
Luhan was speechless, hearing how Sehun felt at the bottom of his heart.
“Having dreams is crucial.”, Sehun continued. “If you can't fulfill them, you will never be truly happy and there's absolutely nothing yo can do about it. You constantly reproach yourself for not having done enough - even though your failure was not your fault. So, I guess, I gave up. Falling into that cluster of conformity makes you think everything was just a childish delusion and that's the only thought that can somewhat keep you from blaming yourself twenty-four seven.”
“Oh, Sehun … I'm so sorry that you had to live through that. I'm sorry you had to change yourself so much.”, Luhan murmured sympathetically. A small tear formed at the corner of his eye. He reached out at Sehun's open hand and interlocked their fingers.
Sehun felt the comforting pressure. He looked at the holding hands in amazement and back into Luhan's eyes. “But then, you came.”, he explained and Luhan blushed. “You whirled into my life by accident and you remembered me of everything I used to be and of everything I always wanted to be. I can honestly admit, that you turned my life upside down and inside out.”
Luhan blushed even further.
“The words you said to me … they just wouldn't let me go. I tried to deny it; deep down I knew you were right, however. But, apparently, I've been caught in that net of social expectations for too long to come to the correct conclusion right away. I am grateful that you are who you are and that you act like you act. You gave me time to change, to develop and to free myself … sorta … But still you were strong and rigid in your points. You gave me the kick in the pants I needed.”
Luhan was utterly impressed by Sehun's little speech. “Wow, I didn't know that I have such an effect on other people.”
“Yeah … you're pretty mind-blowing.”
Now Luhan's head glowed in bright red. “And you're getting cheesy …”
“Am I?” Sehun held up their interlocked hands. With a soft, but slightly nervous smile he asked: “Luhan … this … What is this …?”
Luhan bit his lip. “What do you want it to be?”
Sehun's heart began to race. “I … I … Luhan …”
“Are you … afraid?”
“No … at least not in the sense you mean it.”
“And how do you mean it?”
“I'm not afraid of what other people will think of me. I'm afraid of what you will think of me.”
Luhan chuckled lightly. “Why would you be?”
“It's just that … I've never been with a guy before … I have no idea how these things work.”, Sehun stammered nervously.
“I know, Sehun. Is that really, what you are worrying about?”
Sehun nodded shyly.
“I haven't been judging you so far. Why would I judge you for not knowing these things? And it's nothing that you can't learn.”
Sehun nodded again; he felt like he wouldn't be able to speak a word right now. A thick lump formed in his throat. Despite the chilly air that blew over the clearing, he felt his body growing hot and uneasy.
Luhan sat in front of him in all his beauty. The breeze let his blonde locks flutter. The moonlight illuminated his face in the most enchanting way, letting his lashes cast long shadows over his cheeks bones. His eyes sparkled and reflected the stars. His lips seemed so rosy and inviting.
“C-Can I k-kiss you?”, Sehun croaked with a hoarse voice.
Luhan blinked in surprise, then he smiled genuinely. “Of course.”, he breathed and took off Sehun's glasses. “C'mere …”
Sehun crawled closer and began to slowly caress Luhan's cheek with his right hand. “You are so gorgeous.”, he muttered. His left hand slid down Luhan's waist to get a hold on the latter's hip. Sehun gently lifted the chin and bowed his head to meet the awaiting lips. This was his first kiss between them that he initiated and he felt so jittery inside. When their lips touched, a warm wave flooded through Sehun. He felt at ease, at peace. His prior nervousness disappeared.
Cautiously and steadily they moved their lips against each other. They lost all sense of time and space. They didn't feel any pressure, any rush. Just the pleasure of being close.
Luhan ran his finger's through Sehun's hair, enjoying how soft it was. He took off the other's coat, as well as his own jacket. The cool air made him shiver but he couldn't be bothered by that right now.
After some time of nibbling at each other's - by now - swollen lips, their tongues started to dance an elegant, passionate dance. At first just as slowly and slickly, but after a while more desperate and more demanding.
Sehun overcame all his inhibitions. He kissed Luhan greedy and passionately, growing addicted to the latter's taste. He didn't want to stop and every quick second he had to pull away to breath left him hungering for more and returning to those desired lips with an even more intense craving.
Luhan's movements became more and more erratic. The sheer force of Sehun's unleashed desire knocked him off his feet. He was glued to this wild tongue, to those caressing lips. It left him breathless - unable to think straight anymore. He crawled onto Sehun's lap to embrace the lean hips with his legs, causing the latter to growl and bite down on Luhan's lips when the blonde accidentally brushed over his growing erection. Luhan whined, when he felt that dick pressing against his own through the fabric. He wanted the fabric gone.
While Luhan began opening up Sehun's dress shirt, the younger grabbed him tightly by the hips and slammed him backwards against the car. The pressure knocked the air out of Luhan's lungs. “Sehun …”, he panted.
But Sehun was too busy attacking his neck and collarbones like a starving animal. “Gosh, you taste so good.”, he moaned against the skin, while generously licking and kissing every spot.
Luhan became so incredibly lightheaded; didn't know what to with himself. His shaky hands finally opened up the shirt and slid it down Sehun's shoulders. “Fuck …”, he groaned while pushing Sehun away a little bit to admire this perfect - perfect - sculpture of a body. “You …”, he breathe heavily. “You dress like a square, but your body … DAMN!”
Sehun chuckled.
“Being smug again?” Luhan's eyes flashed in playful anger and he pushed Sehun back on the blanket, who let it happen. Luhan straddled the taller's hips and aggressively attacked his lips. “But what can I do?”, he muttered between the kisses. “You just. Look so. Goddamn. Beautiful.”
“Right back at you.”, Sehun breathed in a suddenly very deep voice, that caused Luhan to shudder pleasantly. Sehun began to meddle with the hem of the smaller's shirt and a few impatient seconds later it landed on the floor. The glistening, flawless skin left Sehun in awe.
But Luhan didn't want to leave Sehun any more time to admire him. He dove back down to repeat the same pleasurable procedure on Sehun's skin that the latter did prior.
Muffled moans turned into desperate cries when Luhan decided to not just mark the neck anymore, but also to start nibbling and twisting Sehun's nipples.
Pleasure was shooting and burning through the latter to a degree that he couldn't tell up from down anymore. This was something he had never done before, but - fuck - it was awesome.
After some time, Sehun noticed - despite all the impressions that befell him - that Luhan was shivering. The night had cooled down a lot and it was not a temperature to sit outside shirtless anymore.
“You're freezing.”, he noted and pulled Luhan closer to warm him. “Come on. Let's get in the car.”
Luhan nodded dazedly. He opened the door to the backseat.
The two crawled in just to pounce on each other again, once the door was closed.
Sehun accepted the challenge of making Luhan feel as good as Luhan made him. He dove down to suck at his nipples, hoping to do it right. Judging from Luhan's ecstatic moans and whimpers, he did. Luhan fell apart in his arms and he loved it.
It didn't take them long to get rid of their pants and boxers - a crucial moment for Sehun. However, he gladly realized that it didn't bother him one bit, that there was a dick instead of a vagina and eagerly sunk back in Luhan's embrace.
They couldn't get enough of each other. Every part of their bodies needed to be touched, needed to be caressed, to be worshiped.
Sehun dared to let his his hand slide down to Luhan's hard-on and grab the base.
“SEHUN!” Luhan choked and fell against Sehun's broad chest, not able to keep kneeling anymore. “Fuck!”, he breathed.
Encouraged by the reaction, Sehun sped up his strokes and brushed his thumb over the slit.
“Ah … Sehun, don't stop.” Luhan trembled.
Sehun laid the older with his back on the seats and hovered above him.
Luhan gulped. The deep dark, carnal desire that gleamed in Sehun's piercing eyes made him fuzzy and nervous in all the right ways. Gosh, how much he wanted it right now.
Sehun decided to return a favor to Luhan and bowed down to kiss the latter's navel.
Luhan squeaked.
The younger kissed deeper. And deeper. Until Luhan's cock hit his cheek.
“Sehun …?”, Luhan questioned startled. “What are you- AH!”
Sehun had licked a long thick stripe along the rock hard erection. It wasn't huge, but it wasn't small either (Sehun did however note with a certain satisfaction, that he was bigger). The taller tried to mimic the actions Luhan did, when he gave him the blowjob. He licked and slicked it up real nicely. He circled his tongue around the top and Luhan was breathing and moaning heavily. Eventually, he brought it on himself to take Luhan's dick in his mouth. The precum tasted slightly salty and stale, but it was bearable, so he began bobbing his head up and down. The more enthusiastic Luhan screamed, the faster he got.
Luhan was in heaven. Sehun's mouth was wonderful and his tongue a miracle. God-fucking-dammit.
Sehun noticed how Luhan wanted to thrust into the heat and grabbed the latter's hips to push them back to the seat.
Luhan whined desperately. “Fuck, Sehun!”, he cursed. “I swear, if you're not gonna stop right now, I'm gonna cum!” Sehun pulled away and Luhan whined again. “Didn't mean you really had to.”, he muttered.
Sehun chuckled and got pulled up to Luhan's lips and entangled in an all consuming kiss. Breathlessly he twined his arms around the older. Soon he started humping his hips down on the other's.
Their stiff cocks got pressed and rubbed against each other, making them shout out profane utterances of pleasure and desire.
“Sehun, I need you.”, Luhan growled. “I need you now!”
Sehun halted in his movements and looked at Luhan - unsure and expectantly. “What …”, he gulped. “... do I have to do?”
Luhan chuckled slightly. “Just watch me.” He stretched his arm out to the glove box to get lube and a condom. He ripped open the packaging and slipped the condom over Sehun's cock and the younger groaned at the touch.
“You have these in your car?”, Sehun asked disbelievingly.
“Better safe than sorry.”, Luhan smirked. “I think it's better if you're topping for now. You got no experience how to handle this.”
“Uhm … okay … if you say so …”, Sehun stammered awkwardly. He felt a little misguided at the moment, not knowing what to do other than kneeling on the seat, stroking his cock slowly, watching curiously how Luhan put a generous amount of lube on his fingers and began prepping himself. It was kinda odd for him at first but the longer he watched and the more
Luhan's face contorted in pleasure, the more it turned him on.
Luhan knelt across from him, reaching around to work himself open. At first just one finger, then he added more up to three. At that point he was whimpering and trembling and fell forward against Sehun, who didn't know anything better to do than helping Luhan to not fall over.
He laid an arm around the older and pulled him closer. He felt Luhan's heavy breathing on his neck and bowed down to nibble on his ear, earning a squeak from the blonde.
“I'm ready.”, Luhan announced finally.
The younger's mind went blank.
“Sehun? You still there? I'm horny.” Luhan chuckled.
Sehun nodded with a dry throat.
Luhan noticed Sehun's insecurities and smiled understandingly. “Lay down.”, he commanded. “I'm gonna ride you.”
Sehun's eyes lit up when hearing this and complied immediately.
There he laid, anticipating.
Luhan straddled him again, grabbed his dick and lined it up to his hole. Then he slowly, slowly lowered himself down on the erection, till the balls brushed his ass cheeks. “Fuck, you're big.”, he groaned, throwing his head back, trying to get used to the size.
Meanwhile Sehun was dying. He didn't know what he expected, but certainly not such a degree of heat and tightness. He had to hold onto every bit of his composure to not thrust up right now. The picture of Luhan seated on his cock, breathing heavily and glistening in sweat, was like alighted from one of the naughty dreams that had been haunting him in the last weeks and teased him to no end.
Finally, Luhan started moving. He carefully dragged his hips up again to slowly push back down and just slowly sped up.
Sehun began to gently thrust in the same rhythm, but it wasn't … it wasn't enough. With every passing thrust he lost his mind a little more. “Please, Luhan, please!”, he begged. “Faster, please.”
Luhan chuckled and leaned forward to whisper in Sehun's ear. “Relax, tiger!”
“But I can't!”, Sehun whimpered and grabbed Luhan's hips, placed his feet on the seat and began rutting into the eagerly swallowing hole.
Luhan yelled in surprise. “Oh my god, Sehun! Fuck!” He grasped at Sehun shoulders and hair, completely helpless and quickly turning into a moaning, groaning mess on top of this exceptionally gifted fucker.
Sehun slowly sat up, never once stopping to pound into the tight heat, and twined Luhan's shaking legs around his hips. He captured Luhan's swollen lips in a fierce, sensual battle of tongues.
A particularly hard thrust made Luhan scream out a hoarse “Right there!” - Sehun all too willing to fulfill the request.
Their breathes, groans, moans, whimpers filled up the small room of the car. Sweat dropped from their skin. Their bodies moved like a well-functioning machine.
Sehun crawled back on the seat and knelt down, holding Luhan mid-air, fucking him hard and fast.
“Deeper, Sehun!”, Luhan screamed. He didn't know whether he was coming or going. Totally lost his mind.
“Fuck, Lu …”, Sehun grunted as his movements became erratic and uncontrolled. “I think I'm gonna …”
“Me too …”
A few last deep thrusts and Luhan screamed out in orgasmic ecstasy.
His walls constricted tightly around Sehun and the younger came with a loud moan on his lips, spilling his seed into the condom.
It took them a while to calm down.
They stared at each other in amazement and wonder, lived on on their personal little cloud. Their skin was sticky and sweaty. The car smelled like sex. They didn't care.
Luhan dropped back the seats and pulled out a warm blanket from under one of the seats to throw it over the both of them.
Sehun pulled the smaller close to him and buried his nose in the blonde locks.
Luhan comfortably cuddled up into Sehun's arms.
Exhausted they slowly fell asleep in each other's embrace.
They didn't speak a word. They didn't have to. In that moment they were perfectly happy and content.
~
6 months later:
So many things have changed for Sehun in the past few months. And for Luhan, too, of course. The two now live together. About two months after they officially started dating, Sehun moved in with Luhan, because his apartment is a littler bit bigger and closer to the Cabaret. Sehun is now working there, just like Luhan suggested at that night on the clearing.
The day after they had their first time together, they overslept, of course. But Sehun didn't freak out. He knew what he had to do. Dozens of unanswered calls and messages from Chanyeol and his co-workers blew up his phone, but he didn't feel the pressure anymore. Together with Luhan he drove back to Seoul, conveniently chatting along the way. He ordered Luhan to park right in front of the bureau. Determined he walked in, ignored all he questions and weird looks from the others and stomped right into the office of his boss. He told the startled man that he wanted to quit his job. And while the old man still begged Sehun to stay with them, because they needed his excellent articles, Sehun spat despisingly at him, that he should have thought of that before he gave the promotion to Seohyun. The co-workers looked at him in wonder when he dramatically buzzed off.
He started working at the Cabaret right after. Knowing Luhan surely helped to get a job there. He worked as a waiter and at least for the time being he was completely satisfied with that. After all, he got to enjoy every single show for free and eat some of the delicious food in the kitchen. He got to meet all the other people working at the Cabaret, so many nice people, so many new friends. Sehun felt himself blossoming. His only friend over the years had been Chanyeol and now he noticed how one-sided that was.
Working in the Cabaret held another advantage. He could dance again. The dance studio was just a floor above. He danced so many times together with Luhan, that he forgot to count.
One day after their date at the clearing Luhan had come back to him and told him about a friend of his living in China - Zhang Yixing - who was a doctor. A specialist for joints, in fact. Luhan wanted to visit that friend soon and he suggested that the doctor could take a look at Sehun's ankle, if he wanted to. Sehun, who had been eager to see Luhan's hometown anyways, gladly agreed. Zhang Yixing turned out to be not just a specialist, but a prestigious specialist and he actually could do something about the ankle. A month later Sehun got an operation. It took some time to heal but after that he was able to dance quite good again without feeling any pain. Of course, he wasn't able to dance again like he once could, but a lot better than before the operation. He was able to do easy choreographies again without having to sit all the time.
Using his regained abilities, Sehun choreographed many dances together with Luhan and one day, he even performed together with him on stage. Sehun didn't do the lingerie. That just wasn't his style. So they opted for a new concept. Trying to tell a story to the audience - Sehun always being “the man”. Surprisingly, it was very well-received with the audience, which made Sehun a regular feature of the program.
So ultimately, Sehun couldn't have his biggest dream back. He never will. But with the help of Luhan and the Cabaret he got as close to it as possible. And together with all the positivity he now has in his life, this knowledge is more than just satisfying to him. He knows he has done everything in his power. He has no regrets.
Naturally, there had been some troubles along the way, too.
He met up with Chanyeol for quite some time after quitting his job. The older had been beyond happy that Sehun finally had the guts to do so. But since they didn't see each other every day anymore, they slowly grew apart. And when Sehun finally admitted what sort of career he was pursuing now, Chanyeol broke the contact. It hurt, but Sehun expected it to happen.
When Sehun's parents found out that their son wasn't working at the newspaper anymore and was in fact being a waiter at such raunchy shed they were infuriated. They wanted to storm the building and force Sehun back home. Luckily they got banned from the house by Kris - but not without screaming some insults at their son for being an embarrassment, a disgrace and a disappointment. It stung, but Sehun expected it to happen.
When he walked through the streets with Luhan, chattering and bickering all lovingly, people would give them weird looks, sometimes glare at them or even call them names. Of course, there were also people who didn't care or congratulated them on being such a cute couple, but mostly they got the weird looks, especially from those old people. It was bothersome, but Sehun expected it to happen.
However, Sehun has learned how to live with these things. He knows they are there, there's not reason in denying it. He accepts the fact, that many people won't like him and Luhan. But he doesn't care anymore. He really doesn't give a fuck.
So, all in all, Sehun has really changed a lot.
The square was gone - mostly. Some habits of course stuck with him, like listening to jazz on Saturdays or showering before going to bed - seven years of restraining yourself just won't leave the hard-drive unscratched.
But aside from those profanities, he's not the same person anymore. The cage is gone, the chains are gone. He can finally be himself without fearing punishment in one way or another.
He now dresses fashionably again. He loves how Luhan's eyes start to glow when he sees Sehun in a new, dashing outfit. And he dyed his hair. It's now blonde and elegantly pushed back. Luhan always starts drooling at that look.
Sehun doesn't question his purpose of living anymore. He knows what he is living for. He knows who he is. He finally found himself.
He is the man at Luhan's side. He loves the older with all his heart and he would never want to let him go. Making Luhan happy is making Sehun happy. It's as easy as that.
~
Today is retro evening.
Sehun is waiting backstage, watching the performance from the side. All the “girls” are on stage right now, performing an impressive choreography to Ray Charles' Hit The Road Jack. They're swinging their hips and lifting their legs in such an exquisite manner, it's the purest joy to watch them - especially Luhan in his cute little pin-up girl-like costume.
One might think that Sehun is jealous over so many men getting to see his Luhan this way. But surprisingly, no! He isn't! Sehun has always been more of a guy to brag anyways and Luhan is surely enough reason to do so. He's proud of his boyfriend. And despite that, this is Luhan's profession and Sehun respects that.
When the song ends, the dancers bow and stumble backstage, laughing. Only one of them stays back to sing his solo act - Baekhyun, a good friend of both Luhan and Sehun.
“Soooo …?” Luhan nudges against Sehun. “How have I been?”
“Okay.”, Sehun teases.
“Just okay?”
“Nah, maybe a little bit better.”, he giggles and wraps his arm around Luhan to kiss him on the lips.
“Stop messing with me.” Luhan doesn't admit it, but he loves partaking in Sehun's childish antics.
“And why would I?”
“Because otherwise, I'm not gonna tell you about that idea I had.”
“Huh? What idea?”
“I thought of a new story for us to perform a dance to. You inspired me.”
“Oh. I did?”
“Yes, a stuffy journalist who forgot how to live meets an enchanting beauty, that is teaching him how to dream again.”
“Oh … hm …”
Luhan giggles. “You don't seem so happy about this idea …”
“No, no. It's just … I didn't expect this. But I think … yes, maybe we should do this …”
“I thought, maybe we could involve all that social pressure and expectations, too.”
Now Sehun started laughing.
“What's so funny about that, Sehun?”, Luhan asks slightly offended.
“Oh, it's just …”, he giggled. “... Involving social pressure and expectations …”
“Yeah. What about that? I'm sure many people in the audience can relate to that.”
“I'm sure they can, but what's that supposed to be? Sociocritical stripping??” Sehun breaks down laughing and even Luhan can't keep a straight face anymore.
Luhan just loves seeing Sehun laughing. The younger's eyes always twist into that lovely crescent moon shape and his wide, gleeful smile always brightens Luhan's day.
After Sehun calmed down, he speaks again. “But for real, Luhan. These people come here here because they want to get away from all these expectations, not because they want to see them again. They wouldn't like it. Believe me.”
“Hm … if you say so …” Luhan grumbles.
“Relax, tiger!”, Sehun whispers teasingly into Luhan's ear and the older blushes when he recognizes his own words. “No need to be so grumpy about it.”, the younger snickers.
“You're gonna bottom tonight.”, Luhan hisses.
“What? Why?”
“Because you made fun of me aaaand because you look so darn submissive with that choker around your neck. Why are you even wearing this?”
“It's part of the costume.”, Sehun complains.
“Stop whining. That's not sexy.”
“Two days ago you told me something different …”
“…” Luhan doesn't know how to reply to that and just leaves the discussion for after the show.
“Sorry, Lu.”, Sehun apologizes. “But I really think that this part of your idea is not such a good plan.” He pulls Luhan closer and kisses him again. “I love you.”, he mutters.
“Love you, too.”, Luhan replies softly.
Baekhyun's act is coming to an end and Luhan and Sehun prepare themselves. Now it's their turn.
Baekhyun announces the next performers and they step onto the stage.
The spotlight hits Sehun right in the face. It feels hot and welcoming.
He starts to dance and senses Luhan responding.
And while he feels the joy of dancing, the happiness of loving, the honor of radiating, he feel so - oh so - very alive.
Author’s Note: Hello, everyone. I hope you could enjoy this fanfiction. I put a lot of thought and work into it. I had the idea even before this round of selubration started, so when I saw the prompt, it fitted very well and I just had to write a fanfic for it. And also, I thought we need more fanfics that talk about life and work and ... realistic things in general. :D