Doctor Who - Those Left Behind
Title: Those Left Behind
For: sleepismyfriend
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Dr Who or The Sarah Jane Adventures
Rating: T
Pairings: Tenth Doctor/Sarah Jane Smith, Peter Dalton/Sarah Jane Smith
Word Count: 1,532
Summary: The TARDIS returns the Doctor to Sarah Jane's attic only hours after his departure for a very good reason.
Spoilers: The Sarah Jane Adventures: The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith
--
Slicing through the silence of the darkened house on Bannerman Road was the familiar whirring of a solitary TARDIS as it materialised once more in the large attic. In an instant one of the blue doors opened and the Doctor’s head appeared. His eyes quickly scanned the moonlit room until they fell on his old friend asleep in the corner. With a bright grin he stepped out of the TARDIS and shoved his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feets as he continued to look around. Once again he found himself where the TARDIS wanted to go and not at all where he had intended on being. Usually there was a method hidden within the madness, but there seemed to be no obvious reason why he would be returned to Sarah Jane’s attic a few hours after her left.
“Though maybe more than a few hours,” He muttered quietly to himself, not wanting to wake K9 from his deep slumber. Glancing at his wristwatch in the pale light the Doctor frowned before digging through his pocket to find another. Holding the old pocket watch upside down he took note of the time. “Almost midnight... things do like to happen at mid...” The words faltered as he heard something.
A strange, and yet somewhat familiar, sound lingered in his mind.
“Sarah...” He whispered into the darkness, though not directing the name to anyone. There was no one in the room and the door was firmly shut. Thus, he concluded, he wasn’t hearing with his ears.
One of his hearts began to pound against his chest as he moved towards the door and cracked it open. The sound filled his mind at an alarming volume, causing him to grasp the doorway in order to steady himself. That sound... he knew it well, so painful and frequent. It reminded him of Donna. Not to say she had made that particular sound but he’d witnessed the silent version. He hated that sound more than anything.
He had to make it stop.
Quietly he made his way down the stairs to the landing and stopped outside the door. It was there, behind that door, that he would find the source. While it had faded in his mind his ears had picked it up from whatever lay in that room. “My Sarah Jane...” He said as his fingers brushed against the wood. He didn’t need to know what was on the other side, he could feel her there. Without another thought he opened the door and slipped into the dark room. In silence he stood, stunned by the sight before him.
Moonlight fell on the old fashioned double bed barely revealing the woman curled up beneath the blankets. With her face half buried in her pillow, and half covered by her fists, it was hard to tell whether she was awake or not. The only give away was the sharp shaking motion of her shoulders, followed by the child-like whimper that followed. Seemingly alone in her bedroom Sarah Jane cried in the darkness. The strong and feisty woman who had helped him save countless planets and civilisations was broken.
He crossed the room in a few quick strides and stood beside her bed, unsure where to go from there. “Sarah?” He spoke her name quietly and ducked his head quickly when he noticed her body become tense.
A deep shaky breath could be heard as she tried to compose herself before rolling over. As their eyes met in the silvery light he felt both his hearts break and realised exactly what she must have been feeling. Her usually bright eyes were puffy and filled with unshed tears that wished to join the others staining her cheeks. Leaning forward he reached out his hand and gently brushed his fingers down the side of her face. The action was more than enough. Her hands covered her face once more as she cried, her body turning into the bed as if she were trying to dig through it. The Doctor could think of nothing else to do but lay down beside her and hold her as tight as he could. It seemed to work in Earth movie and books but he’d never expected to use such a tactic on her. His Sarah Jane Smith was always so strong.
Breathing in sharply a few times to try and speak, she lifted her head to look at him. “He died... for me...” She managed to say, tears continuing to cascade down her cheeks. “I loved him...” The floodgates opened as the words escaped and she buried her head into the Doctor’s shoulder.
Not knowing what else to do the Doctor simply held her close, his hand gently rubbing her back as she cried. It was his fault she had fallen to pieces. Within the deep recesses of his mind there was a collection of possible timelines, ones he knew by heart because they were hers. He’d seen the many possibilities that lay before her when they first met, he just hadn’t realised what Peter Dalton would mean to her. Though he hadn’t even anticipated what Sarah Jane would mean to a renegade Time Lord. Still if she hadn’t met him, if she’d left UNIT that day and never returned, she would have met Peter the next day while working on a story.
As he held her in his arms he considered telling her. It would be so easy to tell her all about the parallel universe where her only major concern at that moment was whether or not she was too young to be a grandmother. But he wasn’t there to point out the things she didn’t have, he was there to help her mourn what had been taken from her.
“It’s the hardest thing in the universe...” He said quietly as he thought about it, gently brushing his hand though her hair. “...to have someone you care about sacrifice themselves for you and, indeed, for Earth. I can tell you right now Sarah that it’s not going to go away. It’s always going to hurt. One after another, they give their lives for you... and as much as you want to find another way, you can’t stop them because you know they’re doing the right thing. There’s some sick part of you that knows what’s happening is right and you cannot stop it.”
With her breath coming in short gasps Sarah Jane pulled back to look at him. Her tear stained face was inches from his as she studied the sad expression in his eyes. “It’s always going to feel like this?” She asked quietly.
“Well,” He shrugged his shoulders as best he could and pressed his forehead against hers, watching as she closed her eyes and let a familiar calming sensation wash over her. “The intensity of the feeling will fade over time, but it will always hurt Sarah.” Carefully he moved to rest his hand against her chest, wishing he could heal the heart that lay beneath. The frailty of human beings had always stunned him. They were a race that, on rare occasions, could literally die from a broken heart. There was only one other known race in the Universe that lived that way and - to an extent - there was a deep beauty to that particular flaw.
“Doctor...” She breathed out, raising her hand to gently rest against his cheek. “So many people are willing to give up their lives for you... so many people have done so. How do you live with it?”
“By making sure this planet, this race, and every other being in the Universe was worth it,” He told her honestly, death lingering in his gaze. “If I don’t keep fighting they will have died for nothing.” It was a truth he had lived with for centuries. Over his lifetime he’d had to say goodbye to too many people. While it was a curse to continually lose the people he cared for, it was a blessing to have had them in the first place. It was the only way to look at it without completely losing his mind.
Sarah Jane moved slightly to press a soft kiss against his lips. It was nothing more than a measure of comfort to make them both feel better, yet somehow it brought everything together as if for the first time everything was falling into place. “Stay with me,” She whispered, unable to look away from his dark eyes.
“Always Sarah,” He promised her, holding her closer as she curled up against him. Taking the chance he knew he wouldn’t have again, the Doctor pressed a kiss against her forehead as she began to drift off. “I will never leave you again...” The whispered words faded away as he knew in his hearts it was true. Admiring her sleeping form in the dim moonlight, he dared to kiss her again. If he could heal her heart with his kisses he wouldn’t stop. “My Sarah Jane.” He breathed out, pouring all the emotion of his hearts into those precious three words.
Conveying, as she slept, everything that she meant to him.
For: sleepismyfriend
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Dr Who or The Sarah Jane Adventures
Rating: T
Pairings: Tenth Doctor/Sarah Jane Smith, Peter Dalton/Sarah Jane Smith
Word Count: 1,532
Summary: The TARDIS returns the Doctor to Sarah Jane's attic only hours after his departure for a very good reason.
Spoilers: The Sarah Jane Adventures: The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith
--
Slicing through the silence of the darkened house on Bannerman Road was the familiar whirring of a solitary TARDIS as it materialised once more in the large attic. In an instant one of the blue doors opened and the Doctor’s head appeared. His eyes quickly scanned the moonlit room until they fell on his old friend asleep in the corner. With a bright grin he stepped out of the TARDIS and shoved his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feets as he continued to look around. Once again he found himself where the TARDIS wanted to go and not at all where he had intended on being. Usually there was a method hidden within the madness, but there seemed to be no obvious reason why he would be returned to Sarah Jane’s attic a few hours after her left.
“Though maybe more than a few hours,” He muttered quietly to himself, not wanting to wake K9 from his deep slumber. Glancing at his wristwatch in the pale light the Doctor frowned before digging through his pocket to find another. Holding the old pocket watch upside down he took note of the time. “Almost midnight... things do like to happen at mid...” The words faltered as he heard something.
A strange, and yet somewhat familiar, sound lingered in his mind.
“Sarah...” He whispered into the darkness, though not directing the name to anyone. There was no one in the room and the door was firmly shut. Thus, he concluded, he wasn’t hearing with his ears.
One of his hearts began to pound against his chest as he moved towards the door and cracked it open. The sound filled his mind at an alarming volume, causing him to grasp the doorway in order to steady himself. That sound... he knew it well, so painful and frequent. It reminded him of Donna. Not to say she had made that particular sound but he’d witnessed the silent version. He hated that sound more than anything.
He had to make it stop.
Quietly he made his way down the stairs to the landing and stopped outside the door. It was there, behind that door, that he would find the source. While it had faded in his mind his ears had picked it up from whatever lay in that room. “My Sarah Jane...” He said as his fingers brushed against the wood. He didn’t need to know what was on the other side, he could feel her there. Without another thought he opened the door and slipped into the dark room. In silence he stood, stunned by the sight before him.
Moonlight fell on the old fashioned double bed barely revealing the woman curled up beneath the blankets. With her face half buried in her pillow, and half covered by her fists, it was hard to tell whether she was awake or not. The only give away was the sharp shaking motion of her shoulders, followed by the child-like whimper that followed. Seemingly alone in her bedroom Sarah Jane cried in the darkness. The strong and feisty woman who had helped him save countless planets and civilisations was broken.
He crossed the room in a few quick strides and stood beside her bed, unsure where to go from there. “Sarah?” He spoke her name quietly and ducked his head quickly when he noticed her body become tense.
A deep shaky breath could be heard as she tried to compose herself before rolling over. As their eyes met in the silvery light he felt both his hearts break and realised exactly what she must have been feeling. Her usually bright eyes were puffy and filled with unshed tears that wished to join the others staining her cheeks. Leaning forward he reached out his hand and gently brushed his fingers down the side of her face. The action was more than enough. Her hands covered her face once more as she cried, her body turning into the bed as if she were trying to dig through it. The Doctor could think of nothing else to do but lay down beside her and hold her as tight as he could. It seemed to work in Earth movie and books but he’d never expected to use such a tactic on her. His Sarah Jane Smith was always so strong.
Breathing in sharply a few times to try and speak, she lifted her head to look at him. “He died... for me...” She managed to say, tears continuing to cascade down her cheeks. “I loved him...” The floodgates opened as the words escaped and she buried her head into the Doctor’s shoulder.
Not knowing what else to do the Doctor simply held her close, his hand gently rubbing her back as she cried. It was his fault she had fallen to pieces. Within the deep recesses of his mind there was a collection of possible timelines, ones he knew by heart because they were hers. He’d seen the many possibilities that lay before her when they first met, he just hadn’t realised what Peter Dalton would mean to her. Though he hadn’t even anticipated what Sarah Jane would mean to a renegade Time Lord. Still if she hadn’t met him, if she’d left UNIT that day and never returned, she would have met Peter the next day while working on a story.
As he held her in his arms he considered telling her. It would be so easy to tell her all about the parallel universe where her only major concern at that moment was whether or not she was too young to be a grandmother. But he wasn’t there to point out the things she didn’t have, he was there to help her mourn what had been taken from her.
“It’s the hardest thing in the universe...” He said quietly as he thought about it, gently brushing his hand though her hair. “...to have someone you care about sacrifice themselves for you and, indeed, for Earth. I can tell you right now Sarah that it’s not going to go away. It’s always going to hurt. One after another, they give their lives for you... and as much as you want to find another way, you can’t stop them because you know they’re doing the right thing. There’s some sick part of you that knows what’s happening is right and you cannot stop it.”
With her breath coming in short gasps Sarah Jane pulled back to look at him. Her tear stained face was inches from his as she studied the sad expression in his eyes. “It’s always going to feel like this?” She asked quietly.
“Well,” He shrugged his shoulders as best he could and pressed his forehead against hers, watching as she closed her eyes and let a familiar calming sensation wash over her. “The intensity of the feeling will fade over time, but it will always hurt Sarah.” Carefully he moved to rest his hand against her chest, wishing he could heal the heart that lay beneath. The frailty of human beings had always stunned him. They were a race that, on rare occasions, could literally die from a broken heart. There was only one other known race in the Universe that lived that way and - to an extent - there was a deep beauty to that particular flaw.
“Doctor...” She breathed out, raising her hand to gently rest against his cheek. “So many people are willing to give up their lives for you... so many people have done so. How do you live with it?”
“By making sure this planet, this race, and every other being in the Universe was worth it,” He told her honestly, death lingering in his gaze. “If I don’t keep fighting they will have died for nothing.” It was a truth he had lived with for centuries. Over his lifetime he’d had to say goodbye to too many people. While it was a curse to continually lose the people he cared for, it was a blessing to have had them in the first place. It was the only way to look at it without completely losing his mind.
Sarah Jane moved slightly to press a soft kiss against his lips. It was nothing more than a measure of comfort to make them both feel better, yet somehow it brought everything together as if for the first time everything was falling into place. “Stay with me,” She whispered, unable to look away from his dark eyes.
“Always Sarah,” He promised her, holding her closer as she curled up against him. Taking the chance he knew he wouldn’t have again, the Doctor pressed a kiss against her forehead as she began to drift off. “I will never leave you again...” The whispered words faded away as he knew in his hearts it was true. Admiring her sleeping form in the dim moonlight, he dared to kiss her again. If he could heal her heart with his kisses he wouldn’t stop. “My Sarah Jane.” He breathed out, pouring all the emotion of his hearts into those precious three words.
Conveying, as she slept, everything that she meant to him.