[Reborn] What Hurts the Most
Title: What Hurts the Most
Author: Umi-chii
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Pairing: TYL!D18
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don’t own Reborn. Amano-sensei does.
A/N: Prompted by Cascada’s version of the song. There’s really nothing spoilerish in this, as it’s more of a take on their relationship rather. This is also my first time writing a KHR fic and this pairing so please excuse me if I end up turning either of them OOC. X.x I find it very hard to keep them IC, since this is my very first time.
Word Count: 1067
What Hurts the Most
Ten years. It took Dino that long to realize what Vongola’s Cloud Guardian had become in his life. It took Dino that long to find out he’s too late for everything; too late to tell his Kyouya he had improved so much, from a troublesome teenager to fine adult, too late to tell him how proud Dino was-is to watch him grow up, too late to tell him how childish and innocent he looks like when he’s sleeping even though he knows nothing in Kyouya is childish and innocent, too late to tell him that Dino knew from the very start Kyouya’s favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla… Too late to finally tell Kyouya what he truly means to his life.
It hurts whenever Dino would wake up to feel nothing but cold air beside him. It hurts him even more when he would start his day with nothing but paperwork and black coffee while on the back of his mind, he could remember the fresh memory of how warm his bed was the night before, the body he was holding-clinging to last night was so warm it makes Dino forget the winter cold of Italy. But it hurts the most that whenever he would look up at the sky, he would see clouds of irregular shapes, clouds that look so near yet so far away. Clouds that reminded him of a lonely skylark soaring across the sky, its eyes always so sharp, its wings outstretched like an eagle. Yet as night came around, he found that skylark perched inside his office, eyes narrowed as it watched his every move.
Hibari Kyouya was the kind of person who wouldn’t bother with words if given the chance. If he has to speak, he would go straight to the point, and really, Hibari Kyouya only speaks a complete sentence other than “I’ll bite you to death” when it’s business.
So when Kyouya entered his office, warning him about the Millefiore without a single trace of emotion, Dino has to admit it’s both terrifying and painful to hear Kyouya telling him of his coming doom in a deadpan manner. It was as if Kyouya didn’t give much of a damn if he dies soon. But somehow, Dino wasn’t surprised on both the news and Kyouya’s reaction. He had felt it coming, even if he wasn’t that ready.
“Stay for the night?” Dino had asked the Cloud Guardian when Kyouya was about to leave the Cavallone boss’ office. Dino wasn’t surprised either when the only answer he got was the sound of his office door closing.
Hours later, Dino found his former student waiting for him inside his room, bored eyes gazing with as much emotion at the dark sky. To say Dino was surprised would be an understatement, but he was able to contain it inside of himself. Instead of saying the first thing that had entered his mind (“I really thought you wouldn’t say goodbye, Kyouya!”), Dino had only stayed quiet as he walked towards the Cloud Guardian, leaving his coat over a chair along the way.
“Tomorrow.”
Frankly, Dino truly hated that word. That word never brings him anything good other than sad and painful memories. It dampens his mood and the rest of his day that even he himself is surprised on how his usual bright demeanor belies his real mood.
“I’m leaving tomorrow for Japan.”
It was what Dino had expected, but not exactly. Though he had expected it any seconds since the moment Kyouya entered his office (Dino still can’t find a plausible reason though as to why Kyouya would bother telling him of his departure, but he would like it if he can stay childish about it), it brought a great pang of pain to his heart to hear the other telling him personally that he’s leaving…
And might not come back anymore; back to the Cavallone headquarters, back to Dino’s office, back to let Dino annoy Kyouya with his bright, stupid smile and infuriating yet cheerful laugh that would always make Kyouya sigh…
Then Kyouya stood and made to leave without glancing up at him. Just as he stepped a foot past where Dino stood, a hand reached out and grabbed him on his arm and before Kyouya could say anything, he found himself pulled back and thrown onto the bed as Dino looked down at him with eyes beginning to glisten with held back tears, eyes so filled with sadness and forlorn hope that only one could see in a desperate man who wouldn’t-who couldn’t let go.
“Kyouya, Kyouya…”
And Dino hated himself for letting his voice crack, for showing such weakness in front of Kyouya, because he’s now nothing but a stupid herbivore again. But somehow, it made him wonder why he lost it. It was the first time Dino had let another person that isn’t Romario see his tears. It was the first time Dino had clung to someone so hard as if his entire life depended on it and somehow, Dino figured that half of his life might’ve depended on it.
Dino couldn’t find the need in him anymore to go to sleep that night after Kyouya left. When he woke up the next morning, he found dark shadows under his blood-shot eyes which worried his men even more and when Dino began to go through his day that morning, there’s not an ounce of energy inside of him capable to move a pen. In the end, he was only able to sit on his large, swiveling chair, staring up at the puffy, white clouds flitting across the bright, blue sky.
And now, as memories of Vongola’s Cloud Guardian resurfaced in his mind, Dino found himself choking back the tears and need to cry, for he swore the previous night that he will never cry anymore, that he will never be weak anymore (He has to stay strong, if not for himself then for his family).
It took him ten years to realize how significant Kyouya had become in his life, and he realized how big the hole Kyouya had left in him was now that he’s gone.
Yet as the clouds continue moving across the sky, Dino realized it’ll definitely take him more than ten years to withstand the pain of knowing his beloved Kyouya walked out of his room without leaving a said goodbye.
END
ALKSDJ. UMI-CHII HAS FINALLY DONE IT. SHE HAS FINALLY WRITTEN SOMETHING IN HER OTP. screw it if it's angst YEY. *dies from exhaustion*
Author: Umi-chii
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Pairing: TYL!D18
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don’t own Reborn. Amano-sensei does.
A/N: Prompted by Cascada’s version of the song. There’s really nothing spoilerish in this, as it’s more of a take on their relationship rather. This is also my first time writing a KHR fic and this pairing so please excuse me if I end up turning either of them OOC. X.x I find it very hard to keep them IC, since this is my very first time.
Word Count: 1067
What Hurts the Most
Ten years. It took Dino that long to realize what Vongola’s Cloud Guardian had become in his life. It took Dino that long to find out he’s too late for everything; too late to tell his Kyouya he had improved so much, from a troublesome teenager to fine adult, too late to tell him how proud Dino was-is to watch him grow up, too late to tell him how childish and innocent he looks like when he’s sleeping even though he knows nothing in Kyouya is childish and innocent, too late to tell him that Dino knew from the very start Kyouya’s favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla… Too late to finally tell Kyouya what he truly means to his life.
It hurts whenever Dino would wake up to feel nothing but cold air beside him. It hurts him even more when he would start his day with nothing but paperwork and black coffee while on the back of his mind, he could remember the fresh memory of how warm his bed was the night before, the body he was holding-clinging to last night was so warm it makes Dino forget the winter cold of Italy. But it hurts the most that whenever he would look up at the sky, he would see clouds of irregular shapes, clouds that look so near yet so far away. Clouds that reminded him of a lonely skylark soaring across the sky, its eyes always so sharp, its wings outstretched like an eagle. Yet as night came around, he found that skylark perched inside his office, eyes narrowed as it watched his every move.
Hibari Kyouya was the kind of person who wouldn’t bother with words if given the chance. If he has to speak, he would go straight to the point, and really, Hibari Kyouya only speaks a complete sentence other than “I’ll bite you to death” when it’s business.
So when Kyouya entered his office, warning him about the Millefiore without a single trace of emotion, Dino has to admit it’s both terrifying and painful to hear Kyouya telling him of his coming doom in a deadpan manner. It was as if Kyouya didn’t give much of a damn if he dies soon. But somehow, Dino wasn’t surprised on both the news and Kyouya’s reaction. He had felt it coming, even if he wasn’t that ready.
“Stay for the night?” Dino had asked the Cloud Guardian when Kyouya was about to leave the Cavallone boss’ office. Dino wasn’t surprised either when the only answer he got was the sound of his office door closing.
Hours later, Dino found his former student waiting for him inside his room, bored eyes gazing with as much emotion at the dark sky. To say Dino was surprised would be an understatement, but he was able to contain it inside of himself. Instead of saying the first thing that had entered his mind (“I really thought you wouldn’t say goodbye, Kyouya!”), Dino had only stayed quiet as he walked towards the Cloud Guardian, leaving his coat over a chair along the way.
“Tomorrow.”
Frankly, Dino truly hated that word. That word never brings him anything good other than sad and painful memories. It dampens his mood and the rest of his day that even he himself is surprised on how his usual bright demeanor belies his real mood.
“I’m leaving tomorrow for Japan.”
It was what Dino had expected, but not exactly. Though he had expected it any seconds since the moment Kyouya entered his office (Dino still can’t find a plausible reason though as to why Kyouya would bother telling him of his departure, but he would like it if he can stay childish about it), it brought a great pang of pain to his heart to hear the other telling him personally that he’s leaving…
And might not come back anymore; back to the Cavallone headquarters, back to Dino’s office, back to let Dino annoy Kyouya with his bright, stupid smile and infuriating yet cheerful laugh that would always make Kyouya sigh…
Then Kyouya stood and made to leave without glancing up at him. Just as he stepped a foot past where Dino stood, a hand reached out and grabbed him on his arm and before Kyouya could say anything, he found himself pulled back and thrown onto the bed as Dino looked down at him with eyes beginning to glisten with held back tears, eyes so filled with sadness and forlorn hope that only one could see in a desperate man who wouldn’t-who couldn’t let go.
“Kyouya, Kyouya…”
And Dino hated himself for letting his voice crack, for showing such weakness in front of Kyouya, because he’s now nothing but a stupid herbivore again. But somehow, it made him wonder why he lost it. It was the first time Dino had let another person that isn’t Romario see his tears. It was the first time Dino had clung to someone so hard as if his entire life depended on it and somehow, Dino figured that half of his life might’ve depended on it.
Dino couldn’t find the need in him anymore to go to sleep that night after Kyouya left. When he woke up the next morning, he found dark shadows under his blood-shot eyes which worried his men even more and when Dino began to go through his day that morning, there’s not an ounce of energy inside of him capable to move a pen. In the end, he was only able to sit on his large, swiveling chair, staring up at the puffy, white clouds flitting across the bright, blue sky.
And now, as memories of Vongola’s Cloud Guardian resurfaced in his mind, Dino found himself choking back the tears and need to cry, for he swore the previous night that he will never cry anymore, that he will never be weak anymore (He has to stay strong, if not for himself then for his family).
It took him ten years to realize how significant Kyouya had become in his life, and he realized how big the hole Kyouya had left in him was now that he’s gone.
Yet as the clouds continue moving across the sky, Dino realized it’ll definitely take him more than ten years to withstand the pain of knowing his beloved Kyouya walked out of his room without leaving a said goodbye.
END
ALKSDJ. UMI-CHII HAS FINALLY DONE IT. SHE HAS FINALLY WRITTEN SOMETHING IN HER OTP. screw it if it's angst YEY. *dies from exhaustion*