even though this is short, the way you deal with time in it is so effective, it made me want to reread this a bunch to piece together what's happened to stan and kyle here. and since it's stan's perspective it feels like he's stuck revisiting past experiences, regretting how things went, and there's so much sorrow and grimness in the tone you've written this in. i feel like this is hitting me so much deeper than anything i've read in a while. i think it's perfect just the way it is, the way you finish it with that horrifying implication. i want to bundle this up and cry onto it
Man, I didn't mean for this to be so sad, but I hope it's at least a productive kind of sad, which is often how I feel about Stan and Kyle, go figure. I'm really glad the time shit is effective because if not it would be totally ruined this whole thing. So, thank you! For the comment, and also for encouraging me to post this.
Yeeees. I've been very, very naughty about using LJ. Will be making a post in the near future--maybe today, probably in 3 weeks when David goes back home about my adventures.
Aww, I am totally echoing everything nhaingen has said. I liked this, too. Heartbreaking and real, right down to the miserable conversation with this dickish intern. The not scene selection is also really effective. Kyle falling down on the kitchen floor and saying he doesn't know if he can go on is so right-in-the-gut when at the very same moment in the chronology of the story he may not wake up.
I think I just really like when you write about Kyle dying... :x
Ugh, I really like writing about Kyle dying, isn't that awful? It's kind of awful. Anyway, thank you for reading this! I realize it's kind of tough to internalize, and I don't totally remember why I went down this road but I'm glad you found it effective.
Comments 7
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
I think I just really like when you write about Kyle dying... :x
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment