Begin The Procedure, OC/Canon fic, Chapter 3
Author's Note: I'd like to say thank you to d_artagan for her kind comment, and a major thank you to amideadn0w for her tips <3 I couldn't really use them this chapter because it was 90% done when you left me the comments, but I really appreciate them and plan to use them soon! :D Anyway, the operations in this chapter are exactly like the ones in the game, so... ( Read more... )
Comments 9
You know, it means the world to me to have you say, I'm helping you. Since that's why I joined this com. in the 1st place -I wanted to help, even if it meant being horribly harsh.
(C'mon, they deserve it, they're not even trying so I don't ever feel guilty over hating on them).
I like the tension here. I like how Markus goes silent, you can see he's not fully approving your OC -I know you're not using my advise yet, which is 10 times more awesome, since you're doing it yourself, which proves you can do a very good job - he's unsure, he doesn't like her that much, THAT is realistic. Also, claiming that someone is helping her... is admitting she has flaws, again BRAVA.
You're doing good buddy. I'll keep commenting and giving whatever tips I can, since you seem so open-minded, you'd take them <3 very, very glad to see you're writing well.
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Yeah, I thought it would be unrealistic for him to like her straight away, especially as he's shown to be a bit uncomfortable around new people. At first he didn't seem to like Valerie even though they'd supposedly been working together for a long time. And Nicole is unsure precisely because this is a completely new scenario to her. I'm glad you liked how it is so far, I appreciate it! :D
Thanks, buddy! I'll be waiting happily for any comments <3 And thanks, it's good to hear you think my writing is good!
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Your writing is good. No one can argue and if they do, like I always say, to each their own, but I think it's very good ^^.
Exactly; very good race of thought, here. People don't just "love" or "likeeeeeeeeeeeeee" people at one glance, it takes time, they need to know the person. I mean, you can be very beautiful, but if the person doesn't know you, what do they love/like? Your pretty eyes? B, please.
And having her unsure is a good thing for an OC. Also, if I may be so bold to suggest something else, have her show that she doesn't think she's better than the cast. You have your way of writing, so you can do that :) an OC admitting her flaws is a win, no question about it.
Awww, thanks bud! I'll always, always comment and give my 2 cents ^^. Like I said, I do, I'm sure that won't change in the future, either ^^.
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Yes, exactly! Insta-romance is just lame. And LOL, in Sues' case, of course it's their *~pretty eyes~*!
Ah, that's a very helpful tip! I'll definitely keep it in mind and use it when I can <3 I think she does realise her weaknesses, so I'll do my best to have her comment on it at some point :D
You're welcome! I appreciate it :D And I certainly hope not ;D
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