Calling all UKes!

[seiberwing]

Is there some sort of specific British and/or European convention regarding the holding open of doors? Back home I hold doors open for people of all genders and ages if it's convenient for me and them (but especially if they look like they need the help), but here people seem to be less fond of it. I've had a number of people actually open the

Comments

[faithinfire]

Theoretically, holding a door open for someone is still an act of courtesy here.

Unfortunately, certain bra-burning idiots came to the conclusion that because traditionally a man would hold a door for a lady, holding doors open in any context at all is discriminatory and a tool of the patriarchy and now they would rather fall on their asses and drop all their stuff than let it happen to them.

My reaction to all this is to still hold doors if someone looks like they need it or if they're near enough that I can't let go of the door without turning them into a human pug-dog, but otherwise not to bother. Oh, and I always smile, catch the door and say "cheers" if someone does it for me, so that they know I'm a sane feminist and not the other kind. So basically, you are being courteous but some people in this country are slightly mad.

I'd just do your thing and not worry, personally.

[seiberwing]

I keep hearing about these supposed feminists that get angry at people for holding doors for them, but I can't say I've ever heard about it firsthand from a credible source.

I do it anyway, it's pretty inbuilt between the Southern and the Jewish emphasis on courtesy towards the old.

[viragostonewall]

Couldn't have said it better myself...

[ailema_amelia]

I don't think it's anything bad - I just think Brits are always either just 1. thinking ahead and not paying attention to surroundings/people or 2. not sure what to do. Most people in Britain don't open doors or anything, so when it happens to them, they're not sure what to do.

Or maybe I'm talking rubbish. I'm English and have never been anywhere else, and I don't understand this country.

[seiberwing]

They were looking directly at me. Occasionally as if I'd done something wrong. I really don't get this country sometimes.

So they just don't, then? Hm.

[catraven]

I commonly hold doors open for others, regardless of sex or age, if I'm going in first. A lot of people act startled that I'd do something like that. I've rarely encountered the "avoid-and-use-the-other-door" sort, but it happens. And then there are those who will drop the door on me regardless of how closely I'm following.

I would suggest doing your own thing and continue to hold doors for people. If it startles them, maybe they will think about it and something in their reality will change. Wouldn't it be wonderful if more people were courteous?

Maybe we could make it like that commercial on TV where some bystander witnesses someone being nice or helpful to someone else, and that person goes on to do something nice and another bystander is influenced. Personally, that's a mark I'd like to leave on the world.

[seiberwing]

I can get not doing it as a habit, but not so much the being shocked that other people do it for you. It doesn't seem like that big a deal.

[mommimus_prime]

Sheesh, here in the states, I sometimes even open the door and let the other person go in first.

Which reminds me of the Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends bit where Wilt holds open the door at the mall to let someone in and he's still there hours later because people just keep going through the door because he's too polite to just let the door close. When that happens in real life, and it happens, the family calls it pulling a Wilt.