for Starbuck

[seer_of_god]

[this is dated for the 2nd and it takes sometime later in the day after Dwight's arrival on the island]Leoben hadn't been angry very often on the island after his initial few months. He hadn't really felt the need to hurt or brutally maim any of the humans, but now... It was sort of all he could think about doing. He'd spent most of the day bashing

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[frakkup]

She'd painted the walls black. At least, that's what they looked like in the darkness of a cave without candles, which she'd kicked over some time ago. Had she lit one, the walls would appear a dull, muddy gray instead of their usual vibrant mess, but that's what happens when a person mixes too many shades together. Or beats them into the wall with her fists.

It'd been a waste of time. Nothing she beat, smashed, or broke made the block of ice in her stomach go away. There was a time when she would have welcomed that numbness, but she'd spent too much of her time here letting people in - or rather, a cylon in - to go back to that calculated calm. She wanted to mourn, she wanted to cry, wail, but it just wouldn't come.

She looked up from her spot in the corner at Leoben's footsteps. She'd been in the dark long enough that her eyes could just make out his outline near the door, but her mouth didn't seem to want to open to greet him.

[seer_of_god]

Leoben hesitated and then crouched down beside her. Exhaling slowly and with great reluctance --because he wasn't entirely sure she would want him to touch her-- he set a hand on her arm.

"I'm sorry," he said. It was an all-purpose sorry that could be applied to leaving her with the refugee, being a Cylon, or any of the thousands of things he probably had done wrong. But even if he could not decide what he was apologizing for exactly, he meant it.

[frakkup]

Kara's eyes flicked toward him in the darkness. His hair was mussed.

"You still love me." On that planet. New Caprica. "Why wasn't I still on the Galactica?" She wasn't making sense, and she knew it, but she couldn't get those thoughts out of her mind.

[seer_of_god]

Leoben could guess why. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against the cool cavewall in front of him. "We're not there now," he murmured instead, knowing that wasn't a good enough answer but wishing it was. "I'm not that machine or man now." He wasn't making much sense either.