Chapter 8: Stars and Feathers (PART 1)
Chapter 8: Stars and Feathers (PART 1)
Title: Stars and Feathers (PART 1)
Masterpost: For warnings and general information of the fic http://seeking-pardon.livejournal.com/733.html
Author: Lizaredlion
Characters/Pairings: pre Dean/Castiel, Sam, Bobby, Claire Novak, Amelia Novak, Death, God-Chuck Shurley, Inias, Hester, Samandriel.
Rating: NC17-M
Word Count: 6182
Warnings: Language, blood, God issues.
Summary: “From the stars and its incandescent light and from the feathers of the Father of all things; the fledglings are born in Heaven.”
~**~
Amazon River
Peru
October 19, 2011
Early morning
Chuck was sitting in the muddy bank of the vast known Amazon River, watching the insects and the animals in the dark, moving freely across the jungle and the water, ignorant of their creator’s presence.
The maximum deity was thoughtful. Millions of things developed inside his holy and powerful head every day. Nevertheless, in that very moment he only used his head for one thing: To relive a happy memory. It was a memory of Heaven. It was a memory of his parenthood.
“Parenthood”
Chuck laughed softly to himself in that moment when he thought of his parenthood.
He considered himself one of the worst parents ever in the history of the universe. Seeing the state of Heaven at the time and also the fates of thousands of his angelic children, were prove enough to him that his parenting skills were terribly lousy.
However, for one minute he wanted to forget that he was a bad father. For one minute he just wanted to remind himself that he wasn’t just a deity with a lot of troubled children, but a daddy who has a lot of love to give to his own creatures.
“My heart breaks for you”
God thought that was exactly what Dean Winchester would say to him in a sarcastic way if he knew about his feelings. And maybe his wayward human child would be right in been sneering at him. The older Winchester had been suffering dangers and pains since he was just 4 years old. He was a tender creature who deserved a kind, loving life; however, destiny and free will changed that little child’s life, turning it into a nightmare.
But not everything was bad for Dean; it was true that pain was always present in his young life; nevertheless, it was also true that there were great things lightening his existence. There was his little brother Sam, the boy who became Dean’s only friend while both of them were growing up. They shared their tears and pains together, but they also shared their happiness and good moments.
Another good thing in Dean’s life was Bobby Singer. There was this man, a widower who was one of the countless surviving victims of the demons’ evil ways; this man who in several times took care of these two boys that weren’t his own blood but that he loved them as such; this man who did more for Dean and Sam Winchester than their own father ever did.
But next to Sam and Bobby, there was another living being that was a big light in Dean’s dark existence. This being was not Dean’s blood; it wasn’t even part of the same species as the hunter. However, the two creatures were so alike. They were raised in different worlds but the problems and pains they went through while they were growing up were almost the same to both of them. This being was Castiel, the last angel created by God, The Little Seraph; this winged child was Dean’s best friend. Dean and Castiel formed a very strong connection since the angel rescued the hunter’s soul from Hell. It was a bond that Chuck strongly believed that would never break. After all, the meeting and profound friendship of these creatures was prophesized since before Castiel was created.
Cas and Dean were completely ignorant of that fact, but soon they would find out about it. Perhaps that new information would make things better or worse between them; nevertheless, what was very sure was that such truth would cause a great impact in the lives of the hunter and the angel.
Chuck closed his eyes in that moment, and he remembered two things. The first one was when he was in the middle of the Garden in Heaven, holding a fragile baby angel in his arms. He had a humanoid form; he was shining and semi-translucent, and his limbs were thin and long. In his belly he had a ball of grace, half white light and half pure fire. This holy babe of big and bright blue eyes without irises was fluttering his two fragile and tiny white wings with great joy.
The second thing Chuck remembered was when he was watching a human newborn baby boy in his crib. He was beautiful, he had white and soft skin, his head was almost bald and his eyes were green as if they were two emeralds. God held the baby in his arms and he fell asleep on them soon after.
The deity smiled with those memories.
“Castiel and Dean, joined by destiny” That’s what he thought.
~**~
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Singer Salvage Yard
October 19, 2011
Early morning
Bobby Singer was asleep in his bedroom. He had a very difficult day. The presence of angels in his living room that past afternoon had put him very nervous. There were three of them, one female and two males, and they were wearing the vessels of a young man, a middle-aged woman, and a teen boy.
It was no secret that Bobby didn’t trust the celestials. Dean and Sam didn’t trust them either. But when the old hunter saw the limp body that Dean had in his arms, he completely forgot about the holy individuals invading his place...
That past Afternoon
October 18, 2011
Castiel, the little nerdy angel who had been Dean’s best friend and part of the blonde hunter’s family-Bobby’s family-; was hanging helpless and unconscious in Dean’s strong arms, wrapped in a white sheet to cover his naked body. The celestial creature looked pale, scrawnier and malnourished. His face had light stubble and his dark hair was messier than usual. It seemed that Castiel had been through a rough time.
Nevertheless, it was a surprise to see the angel alive and in one piece. After all, he saw the poor holy being die in front of his own eyes, in a very painful and horrific way. Bobby could recall the macabre crunch of Castiel’s bones and the sound of flesh tearing inside the still living angel’s body; such acts perpetrated by those two fog-like terrifying things from Purgatory. Bobby and the boys even made a funeral pyre for the dead angel, burning Cas’ remains, leaving only ashes in the wind.
But now he was alive again. Cas was back after almost half a year of having lost him.
The other angels had brought Sam and Dean and two women with them. One of the females was a teen girl and the other was a woman who seemed to be in her late thirties.
Bobby noticed that the older female was looking at the unconscious Castiel with despite, while the kid looked at the helpless angel with concern and compassion.
-You’re going to explain this mess to me, young lady. -said the older woman to the teen, in a low voice, ignoring the rest of the people in the house. -I was working in the office, but suddenly I’m in a different place, alongside strangers. And you’re not in the school either!
-I know you’re upset, mom; but there was no other choice. -replied the kid - We were in danger!
-Of course we were in danger! With that... that thing close to us it was obvious that we’re going to be in danger, Claire!
Bobby was trying to remember who those women were and why the mom had so much hatred in her eyes while she was looking at Castiel’s limp body.
-He’s sick. -said the teen girl to her mother, with grief in her voice, while she was watching at Dean and Sam who were carefully accommodating the unconscious angel on Bobby’s couch. -I don’t know if he could survive in that state.
-Sick? -asked the mother, surprised. -Angels can get sick?
-He’s not entirely an angel, mom. Part of his grace is contaminated and that takes away his powers and makes him almost human.
-Contaminated? Contaminated with what?
-Parasites. They are ancient supernatural parasites. They feed from him. They take part of his fluids, his fat tissue and his grace.
-They’re eating him alive? -Amelia was disgusted with the fact that a bunch of filthy bugs were feeding from a living thing’s flesh , even if that thing was the same creature she couldn’t stand.
-Yeah. -Claire was as disgusted as her mother with that idea -Those bugs are killing him and he’s too weak to battle them.
-And how do you know all these things, honey?
-Because I’m his vessel; I can perceive a grand part of his feelings and sensations. He’s been in pain since a few months back.
-He’s too thin. -the mother said when Cas was stripped from the white sheet that was wrapping him. She saw the creature’s body in a very poor state. The ribs were visible under the pale flesh that she almost could count them. His clavicles and hip bones looked very sharp. -I never saw Jimmy in such condition.
-He is not well-fed, mom. Castiel had been in the streets for the past five months. He doesn’t know who he really is. He has amnesia.
-That must be very confusing.
-It is. He thinks he’s alone in the world.
-What about the other angels?
-I never talked to you about what happened to Castiel after the incident in the warehouse.
-I didn’t want to hear anything about that creature anymore.
-I know. But he went through a lot before and after that day...
Bobby was listening to the story that he already knew about the wayward angel and the difficult things he had to go through in exchange for the wellbeing of the entire world and also the sake of his human friends.
A few minutes later, the angels in Bobby’s house decided to leave Castiel under the care of the Winchesters, however, one of the celestials was not agree with this idea.
-I refuse to let Castiel with these humans, especially with Dean Winchester. -said a female angel, she was blonde and his blue eyes had a very severe look in them.
-Hester, please. -said Inias, with a pleading voice -This is the best option for Castiel.
-The best option, Inias?! -exclaimed Hester, furious -Are you insane? Epinoia’s attack damaged your brain or what?
-My brain is fine, Hester. -answered the thin angel; he didn’t understand the sarcasm of his sister -And about Castiel, he needs protection and safety. He can’t be with us right now.
-We are his siblings! -growled the beautiful but bitter angel - We can protect him and keep him safe!
-How, Hester? Castiel is almost human, and with those parasites staining his body and his grace he will be sicker every day. We are running from Raphael and his soldiers, so, we cannot be running and hiding with our brother in such a vulnerable state.
-But we can’t leave him with these people!
Dean rolled his eyes and tried to protest, but Sam held his arm and stopped him.
-Let them discuss this, Dean. -whispered the younger Winchester -Inias is in our side. He will decide the best for Cas.
-The best for Cas is that he stays here with us! -said the blonde hunter, trying not to raise his voice - He needs us, Sammy! He...!
-Castiel doesn’t need people like you, Winchester! -interrupted Hester, protesting - You ruined our brother’s life and I don’t want you to keep destroying him even more! Castiel must stay with other people, or we could lock him up in someplace safe and comfortable until we can take him with us.
-Lock him up?! -Protested Dean - He’s not an animal!
-It will be better for him to be locked up than the alternative. -Hester spoke in a mocking tone. -Besides, he wouldn’t be alone. He would be under the care of a few of our siblings. He would be safer anywhere but here.
-What’s that suppose to mean? -the blonde hunter looked at the angel with despite.
-Castiel doesn’t need to be close to a rapist such as you!
-Rapist?! -Sam was scandalized, but Dean went silent. -That wasn’t his fault and he didn’t do anything to Cas!
-What the hell is she talking about? -asked Bobby, breaking his own silence. Hester snorted load.
-It’s about an incident in the barn where Castiel was trapped. -explained Inias, glancing irritated looks to the blonde angel - An angel named Epinoia, a soldier of Raphael, was controlling Dean Winchester’s brain with the intention to make him rape Castiel.
-What?! -Bobby looked at Dean but he just decided to put his eyes on the floor, as if Bobby’s old carpet were the most beautiful and intriguing thing of the entire planet.
-The sexual intercourse didn’t happen. -continued Inias -Winchester only stimulated Castiel’s weak spots with his hands, but besides touching him in a non violent way, nothing else happened.
-But it could happen at any time, Inias! -exclaimed Hester.
-Why are you so sure, sister? -asked the angel with the teen vessel, Samandriel. -Epinoia is not going to be here to control Dean Winchester again.
-That doesn’t matter, Samandriel; I know what’s inside that human’s head. -spat Hester with a disgusted expression on her delicate face. Then she got close to the human, directing her words to him in a soft mocking voice -He desires Castiel. He wants him...don’t you, Dean?
Sam and Bobby shared looks and then they saw that Dean was making fists with his hands. They knew the boy was not only furious but also nervous and embarrassed.
Bobby and Sam always suspected that something else was happening in Dean’s heart concerning Castiel, even when the blonde hunter every day tried to reflect the “macho” look, going after lots of girls with big boobs. Anyone who’d know Dean Winchester could say he was the role model for heterosexuality. But that wasn’t entirely right; and Sam knew this more than anyone...
xx
Sam was 14 years old and he was walking in the gardens of Newton High School in Fullerton, Nebraska, where his father had left him with his brother because he had another monster hunt in that town.
The boy was distracted, looking at the plants, when suddenly he saw his sibling hiding behind the farthest and biggest of all trees of the garden. But young Dean wasn’t alone; a boy was with him. Both kids didn’t noticed that they were being watched, so Sam got a little closer to them, trying not to make any noise. He wanted to hear what they were talking about. It wasn’t that Sam was curious of his brother’s activities; however, the young Winchester was bored in that moment. There wasn’t any interesting thing to do after all.
-What was her name again? -asked the thin, blue-eyed kid that was with Dean.
-I didn’t tell you the name. -Dean huffed at the question, rolling his eyes - Why are you so interested in it, Jerome?
-Because I know a few people of Truman High.
-Did you study in that shitty school too?
-Last year. - explained the dark-haired boy - My parents were working on an architecture project in Sioux City. I had to study there, and I made some friends. Some of the kids were great, but there were a few douches too.
-Most of them were dicks, Jerome. -Dean said with despite.
-So, I bet I know that girl you were dating there. -said Jerome, ignoring Dean’s bitterness.
-Well... her name was Amanda Heckerling. -Dean said, rolling his eyes.
-Heckerling? Of course I know her. She was very popular in Truman High. Everybody wanted to date her.
-I suppose so. -the blonde kid said, flatly.
-So, what happened between you two? Did she found out about “that”?
-Hell, no! No she didn’t. It was just... well; she wanted me to meet her parents. So, I started to get away from her, and one day she caught me kissing another girl.
-You were a dick with her, Dean. -said Jerome as he was shaking his head.
-I know, baby, I know.
This was when the thing got weird for Sam. He just had heard his brother calling “baby” to another boy. Sam was seriously thinking for one moment that Dean had been abducted by aliens or something.
But the situation got even weirder when he could see his brother kissing Jerome on the lips. The kiss was very passionate. Sam’s jaw almost hit the floor in that moment. He didn’t know his big brother liked boys as much as he liked girls.
-Your father knows you’re bisexual, Dean? -asked Jerome after a few minutes of been kissing his friend.
-You’re kidding, right? -replied Dean, almost laughing -He doesn’t know, and I’m not inclined to tell him that. Not in a million years.
-Why not?
-I don’t think he would approve it.
-Is he homophobic?
-Actually I don’t know, but I’m afraid he wouldn’t be pleased with me if I tell him the truth.
-And why is that?
-My dad is...well, he’s what many people would consider as a “tough guy”. I just don’t want to take that risk with him. Besides, we never talk about that kind of stuff.
-No?
-Nope.
-Okay, point taken.
Sam decided to get away from that place in that instant. He didn’t want to invade his brother’s privacy any longer. He couldn’t mention to anyone what he had heard about Dean, not even to him. Sam preferred to keep that to himself. The little Winchester thought that perhaps someday Dean would be ready to talk about that subject openly, but until then it will remain as a secret.
xx
-So, what do you say, Winchester? -asked Hester, with venom in her voice. -Are you going to deny that you desire Castiel’s body? Are you going to deny that you crave for his flesh?
-Fuck you, bitch. -whispered Dean, still with his eyes on the carpet.
-You know it’s true, Winchester. -she said, lowering her voice and invading the hunter’s personal space. He had his hands curled in fists and his face was flushed with anger and embarrassment -You have been dreaming about it. You are a very filthy boy in those dreams. I know what kind of monster you are... Dean.
-Shut your hole, damn it! -said Dean in whispers. He wanted to yell and attack the angel in front of him; however, his common sense told him that if he did that it would be bad for his wellbeing.
-In your dreams you touch Castiel in every single part of his body. You want him in your bed; you want to put your disgusting sex inside that pure creature. You want to taint him, to destroy his pureness...to destroy him as everything else you have already destroyed!
Dean couldn’t take it anymore; he stormed off to the stairs of Bobby’s basement and then he went to the Panic Room. The hunter sat on the small bed and covered his face with his hands, taking a deep breath. Dean’s mind was an avalanche of emotions. He was ashamed because of what he almost did to Cas in that barn; however, he couldn’t control his own body or his own mouth then, and the worst of all is that he remembered everything about it.
Nevertheless, it was also true, even when it was a secret, that he desired Castiel. He wanted to have the little nerdy angel on his bed, cuddled beside him, with his naked body touching Dean’s flesh... But that couldn’t happen unless Castiel would agree with it, and the hunter was sure that the angel didn’t share the same feelings Dean had for him...and why in the blue hell would he do that? There was no good fucking reason in the universe that could make an ecclesiastic Angel of the Lord feel love for a human, even less himself. Dean wasn’t even sure that Castiel could feel and understand love anyway. It was true that his holy friend had been almost human once; however, that went to hell when Cas disappeared for a whole year after Sam fell to the Cage with Michael and Lucifer. So, when he saw Cas again after a year of his absence, he noticed that his celestial friend was no longer acting like a human. He had switched back to his old robo-angel mode again.
And then, Castiel made that stupid deal with Crowley. Dean’s fury boiled in his chest every time he thought about that. Why did the angel have to do that deal? Why he didn’t search for his help? Was it just to become powerful and almighty? Was the celestial so eager to compete with God’s power?
Dean sincerely doubted that Castiel was any different from his brothers and sisters. The blonde hunter used to think “angels are dicks... except for one”; however, he wasn’t so sure anymore.
Castiel had lied to all of them; he had failed to Sam and Bobby; he had failed to Dean as a friend and as a brother.
All of that was very painful and difficult; nevertheless, Dean was not entirely angered at the holy creature. The hunter had suffered terribly and silently when Castiel was killed by the fog-like dark things from Purgatory. Despite the angel’s lies and his betrayal, Dean couldn’t stop feeling something for his winged buddy, and that wasn’t only friendship. It was something warmer, something pleasant and nice. Most of the times he was sure it was love; but there were other times when his tick head tried to dismiss that idea. In those particular times of denial, he didn’t think he could fall in love with a dude; that was simply not something that the super-big boobs-lover Dean Winchester would do. But the truth was that he was just trying to fool himself.
Dean was pretty sure and certain of one thing and that was that the angel’s existence in his life had brought new emotions to the blonde hunter, good emotions and also bad ones. But those feelings were irreplaceable. Castiel’s friendship was unique to Dean, so he wondered if he ever would be able to fix things with his angel. Now that Cas was alive again he couldn’t stop thinking about it.
The hunter was so deep into his own thoughts when Inias appeared outside the Panic Room, with the unconscious Castiel in his arms, his naked body wrapped in a sheet again; and the teenager-looking angel called Samandriel was beside them. Dean got up from the bed so Inias could put Castiel on it.
-I apologize for our sister’s behavior, Dean. -said Inias as he entered in the room and put his unconscious brother on the bed.
-Yeah, well; she’s not exactly the first angel with a shitty attitude that I’ve met before. -Dean said, rudely. Inias preferred to ignore the hunter’s commentary.
-Everything is so strange in these days. We can’t be running and hiding from Raphael and his people, and dragging Castiel with us. His grace is deeply and gravely affected, and in that state he is weak, almost human. The safest place for my younger brother is here.
-You know... I believe... well, I believe you’re right... I guess. But, I’m curious; why would you think that?
-Because you’re the Righteous Man, Dean Winchester. Thanks to you, my brother was able to discover the goodness and compassion that he had inside him. Not many angels are kind. Most of us are soldiers, we are used to war, we grew up watching and fighting wars and now we still live in the middle of these conflicts, and when there is no fight in front of us, we spend our time watching everything silently. But Castiel is different. You taught him to think for himself. He is a creature with free will now. My brothers and sisters do not understand that. But Castiel thought that our Father wanted us to think for ourselves. He said that if God told us angels to love human beings, maybe it was because Dad wanted us to be like them. Hester thinks that is a stupid idea, but I don’t think so.
-What Castiel thinks -said the angel who looked like a kid -is something new for angels. It was considered as an abominable thought. However, I do not think in that same way. I think his ideals are something that we should try to understand. And I am not going to lie to you, Dean Winchester; there were times when I had the same thoughts as Hester. I thought you had brainwashed him. But I was wrong. I watched Castiel closely, I tried to understand him, and what I saw in him was a creature full of good and pure intentions. There was a lot of love in his heart. It wasn’t just me who noticed that.
The angels left Bobby’s house before the sunset; however, before leaving, Inias made sure to say goodbye to his sleeping brother and then he asked Dean and his family to take care of Castiel. The kind angel knew that his poor brother was in good hands with the humans. He trusted them and he knew they would never hurt Castiel.
XXXXXXXXXX--End of Part 1.
READ PART 2 HER http://seeking-pardon.livejournal.com/3778.html
Author's Note:
COMMENTS AND REVIEWS ARE FOOD AND INSPIRATION FOR A WRITER. Please, if you like this story, take a little time to leave your opinion. Your words are very important to me. Thanks a lot!
The story will be updated every one or two weeks. If I update late sometimes is because I'm sick. I suffer from Crohn's disease, and that causes me a lot of troubles. But I will do my best effort to update the fanfic in time.
Thanks for your understanding.