Runt of the Litter 5/6
Title: Runt of the Litter (5/6)
Pairing: 9/Rose
Rating: M
Genre: Romance/Adventure/Historical
Warnings: Explicit Sex, Crude Language (in Latin)
Summary:A trip to visit Caesar takes an unsuspected turn when everyone in a small village in Gaul, including Rose, has their memories changed and spontaneously develop lycanthropy. Can the Doctor reverse this before Caesar arrives and history is changed forever?
A/N: The translation for this Latin is available on request. It was fun to write. :D
Rose Tyler had been the runt of the litter. She, alone of the village, had been unable to shift, not even when the moon rose, full and beckoning, in the night. But even without knowing that, any observer could have quickly discerned she was different. She had kept the peace; she had placated; she had even been known to back down when challenged, if she had thought the fight unworthy.
The rest of the village hadn’t been able to understand her behavior, so they’d put it down to her being the runt. It had been completely uncharacteristic for any member of the bleithed. And though many had recognized the value of someone who could mend bridges, there had been those who looked down on her for this weakness.
She hadn’t known that it made the Doctor love her more, but she did now, and it filled her with inconsolable joy.
Rose leaned against the Doctor, content to use her dizziness as an excuse to stay wrapped in the Doctor’s strength, uncertain what her next move was supposed to be. She could remember the last few months, but the memories almost didn’t seem to be hers. It was as if a large amount of data had been dumped into her mind, and it was a daunting task to sort through. If she delved into a memory, it was briefly as if she were experiencing it, and then it felt truly her own, as if it were assimilated. But even without entering these months worth of memories, an undertaking she figured would have to wait until she had some down time, the headlines were displayed prominently in her mind.
And what salacious headlines there were. Extra, Extra: the Doctor’s kiss could make Rose Tyler’s knees weak even when she was sitting down. Read all about how Rose Tyler had never felt more cherished than when wrapped by the protective presence of the Doctor’s mind. But splashed across the front page in the biggest possible font that seemed to glow mauve, Rose Tyler confesses love to the Doctor; Doctor seems likely to respond in kind.
For the briefest second, a worried voice said she should pretend to forget it all. He might not want her to remember, might not want to change their friendship. But it was silenced by the look on the Doctor’s face when she told him she loved him, somehow both a memory and something she was seeing for the first time, flashing into her mind. It was a look that both tore at and mended her heart, full of longing, disbelief, and rapturous wonder.
Rose raised her eyes to meet the Doctor’s gaze. To anyone else, he might appear calm, but Rose could see the panic he was trying to smother. She smiled, hoping to reassure him. “Doctor, I-” a horn sounded from no more than 30 meters away, causing the Doctor to curse, turning his gaze on the slowly awakening village.
“We’ve got to wake them, Rose. Caesar can’t see them like this, it could change his entire Gallic campaign.”
“Bloody trumpet,” Rose sighed bitterly.
“Technically, it’s a classicum,” the Doctor told her, distractedly. Rose was gratified to note that, while his gaze had abandoned her, his mind visibly whirring into overdrive as he tried to figure out how to bring the villagers to full alertness, his arms remained locked around her, unwilling to relinquish her despite History’s call.
A nearby villager whimpered as he started to come to. Rose wondered, if it was so hard for her to come to terms with what had happened and she had been shielded by the TARDIS, how much more would they still be affected?
“I might be able to fix this,” she told him. The Doctor’s eyes flew down to her, at once surprised, proud, and slightly worried. Not letting him voice his concern Rose threw her head back and howled.
She felt a little ridiculous doing it, but the instincts of the wolf, which had not fully faded yet from the minds of the former bleithed, caused them to rouse, seeking to protect a pack member. Connall was the first to stand, and he quickly checked Amou, who seemed to be rousing.
“Caesar is here,” the Doctor told him. Connall’s eyes widened in concern and he quickly straightened his clothes.
“Will you both accompany me to meet him?” he asked solicitously. Rose couldn’t tell how much he remembered, but he seemed to know they were on his side.
The Doctor looked down at her, quizzically, deferring to her wishes. “Why not?” she asked almost dismissively. “Seeing him was the whole reason we came here.”
Suddenly, she was crushed against him in an exuberant hug. “You’re back,” he breathed. “Oh, Rose, you’re back.”
“I’m back,” she assured him when he released her enough to let her breathe. “And Doctor, I remember.”
“You remember?” The Doctor’s voice was so soft she could barely discern it despite still being wrapped in his arms.
“I remember,” she repeated firmly, refusing to back away from this. His continued immobility forced her to fill the silence, babbling until he could react. “I don’t know why I worried I’d forget, those sorts of things stick with you. I mean it’s not every day you tell a person you love them for the first time, or kiss them-”
“If you insist,” he muttered before crashing his lips down on hers. She opened immediately under his onslaught, eager to claim him even as she accepted his claim. A giddy thrill rushed through her with the knowledge that she had this right now, to claim him, to kiss him. He was hers.
Before they could really get started, an irritated throat cleared.
“As happy as I am for the two of you, and as much I like winning the bet I had with Wulffrith, you did say Caesar is here, and I doubt it’s wise to keep him waiting.” Connall stalked off towards the main entrance to the village
Rose exchanged a gleeful, sheepish look with the Doctor, and they followed the chieftain, hands grasped tightly between them.
Two men stood just outside the gate into town. They were dressed identically; the only difference being that one man had a thin red sash tied around his chest. “That one’s Caesar,” the Doctor murmured in her ear. “Roman generals would have a red tie around their torso to signify them as general in case they lost their head during the battle.” Rose fought down a shiver as his breath ghosted over sensitive skin, and she forced her attention to stay on the soldiers.
“He’s shorter than I’d imagined,” she muttered back. “He’s like a little Roman Napoleon.”
“Actually, he’s shorter than Napoleon, but then, most Romans were. The average Roman was only 157cm. Napoleon was 169cm.”
Rose giggled. “Is that why he-?”
“No,” the Doctor chuckled. “Caesar didn’t have a height problem. He just wanted to be the biggest fish in the pond. He once said he’d rather be the first man in a tiny province in Spain than be second in Rome. It’s ultimately what will lead to his civil war with Pompeius Magnus. He couldn’t bear to be second; Pompey couldn’t bear to have an equal.”
Conall stepped forward and introduced himself as the leader of the village.
Rose rolled her eyes, keeping an eye on the meeting between the men. “Because their egos are worth dying over.”
The Doctor shrugged. “Sometimes your ego is all you have. The only thing that keeps you going.” The Doctor gave her a sideways glance. “At least until you can find something better to live for.”
Rose squeezed his hand sympathetically. He rarely gave her insight like this into his life after the war before she met him. In front of them, the man without a sash was introducing himself as a translator for Caesar.
“I take it these guys don’t have girlfriends?” she whispered.
“Actually, Pompey is currently married to Caesar’s daughter, and he is head over heels for her. It’s the only thing that keeps the peace. When Julia dies in childbirth, Pompey is grief stricken and bitter. He’s inconsolable.” The Doctor trails off, his hand tightly gripping Rose’s, clearly commiserating with the Roman general’s loss. Rose moves closer to him, hoping to remind him that he hasn’t lost her yet. When her shoulder bumps his, the Doctor shakes himself from his melancholy and smiles down at her. “But while she lives, Pompey is softer, more willing to work with Caesar.”
Caesar casts his eyes over them disdainfully, and Rose falls silent, sensing that continuing her conversation with the Doctor will hurt Conall’s efforts to maintain peace and autonomy.
“Salvete,” Caesar said when he decided he had everyone’s attention.
“The illustrious general, Julius Caesar, greets you,” the interpreter intoned.
“Video hoc parvum oppidum esse. Dissensionem cum vos non habeo. Frumentum a vos ut nostros alere possim parare cupio. Vobis salutem pacemque redebo. Nobis vos tegente vostrum oppidum incrementum sciet.”
“The noble Caesar has no quarrel with a small town full of hard working people, as this village obviously is. He merely wishes to purchase grain from you to feed his troops. In return, he promises you peace and health. He will grant you protection so that your town may thrive.” The interpreter’s voice was like snake oil, it glided into the listeners’ ears and smarmed its way into their brains. Rose shook her head against it, suddenly feeling dirty.
“No money is offered, I see.” Connall remarked.
“Caesar will pay you,” the Doctor interjected. “It won’t be what you could get on the open market, but it won’t beggar you. And you want to stay on his good side.”
Connall offered a small smile to the interpreter. “Please tell Caesar that we will need some time to find out how much grain we can offer. Tell him that he and his men are welcome into the village while they wait.” The interpreter looked annoyed, but relayed the message.
As Connall and his men began to retreat Caesar remarked softly. “Eis quam stultissimis exstante, ad primam luce adsumus.”
The Doctor spun on his heel to face the most powerful man presently alive. “Ei, noli putare eos stultos esse solos quod magnum forum aut pulrchra aedificationa non habere. Mehercule, Tam stultus es ut in frigidissimo Borea tunicula geraseris.” He snapped out rapid, clipped sentences. Rose knew he was being both angry and condescending, but she didn’t understand a word. “Quale morio facit? Glaciales columnae tuae vostraeque cum masturbetis suffricabuntur.”
Caesar bristled, clearly undaunted by the Doctor’s larger stature. “Coge quem loquaris.”
“Audi, parva merda, scivi tuum avunculum, Gaium Marium. Bonus erat. Cum proximo tempo te vidi, tibi novas subligaculas donabam. Sic, tacete aut te intricabo.” The Doctor growled.
Caesar visibly quelled but rallied quickly. He straightened and walked past them, dripping dignified disdain. The Doctor rolled his eyes at the retreating general, before a mischievous look overtook his features. He looked down at Rose, an impish glint in his eyes.
“You’ll want to see this,” he said, grinning widely, all but dragging her into the center of the town.
Not yet reduced to embers, the shell of the wicker man still burned there, it’s payload long since having launched. Caesar stared up at the giant effigy, something akin to awe on his face. He muttered something to his interpreter that Rose couldn’t quite pick out. The interpreter cautiously approached Connall, who was just finishing speaking to several of the villagers, ordering them to take inventory of their stores.
“What is this?” the interpreter asked, gesturing to the burning giant.
“It is a sacrifice to our gods,” Connall stated simply. At the interpreter’s slightly nervous stare, Connall grinned wolfishly. “We build this giant man out of wicker, but he is hollow inside. We stuff him with prisoners, and burn them all in one go, giving honor to our gods and ridding ourselves of criminals.”
“Are the prisoners still alive?” the interpreter asked fearfully.
“Of course.” Connall stated simply, giving the man a friendly smile that seemed to scare him more than any malicious look.
Rose watched the interpreter return to Caesar, smothering her giggles. Caesar listened to the hushed words, and looked over at Connall with a new respect.
“It doesn’t scare him?” Rose asked.
“Nah. That’s the sort of thing Romans would be fine with, though they didn’t quite sacrifice humans themselves. All the Romans thought the Gauls and the Celts practiced this regularly. No one’s ever known where they got this idea.” His eyes danced with mirth.
“Guess we know, now.” Rose said, turning to face him fully, both her hands in his. She couldn’t help but return his grin. “Just one thing I don’t get. How did that-” she gestured to the fire that was starting to loose its shape “make the Alii’s ship work?”
“The Alii’s ship is slightly psychic, so it needed the belief of everyone watching.” The Doctor told her with his best I’m-so-impressive grin. “Its power cells had been completely drained, and the heat from the fire could be absorbed by it and converted into the energy it needed. As soon as it recharged, it was able to take off.”
“Will Amou be okay?” Rose asked softly.
The Doctor’s grin faded. “Should be. Only we will remember exactly what happened here. I wasn’t even sure you’d remember, but the TARDIS must have protected you more than I’d realized. Amou will remember being sick, and it will take some time for her to get back to herself, but she’ll heal.” He told her with a reassuring smile. “You humans are a rebounding lot. Now, though, we best get out of here and let the villagers handle the rest of their first contact with the Romans. They need to deal with this on their own.”
Rose nodded and turned towards the TARDIS, keeping one hand tucked securely in his. They started their trek back to the TARDIS. They’d done what needed to be done, and it was time they left so that history could get back to normal. She was not reluctant to leave this place. She missed the TARDIS and she missed being with the Doctor throughout the day, rather than the stolen moments she’d had with him as Tyler.
“How come you weren’t affected by all this?” Rose wondered aloud while the Doctor unlocked the blue door that sat in the doorway of the building the Doctor had commandeered.
The Doctor paused before answering, taking her hand as they walked into the console room. Rose closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the relieved TARDIS in her mind, welcoming her home. She gave the TARDIS a mental hug, letting the old girl know she’d been missed. Rose opened her eyes, fully aware he was watching her, making sure she was okay; she smiled at him, glad to be back where she belonged: in her head, next to him. After a few seconds of searching her eyes, no doubt wondering if she regretted coming with him, he tentatively returned the smile.
“Time Lord,” The Doctor answered, devoid of his usual smugness when explaining his genetic superiority. “We were trained to have strong mental defenses.”
“I don’t suppose that humans can have them. You never know when something like that will come in handy,” Rose remarked dryly.
*
The Doctor flinched as though she’d slapped him. “Rose…” his voice broke. Rose opened her mouth to cut him off, but he didn’t let her. “I’m sorry,” he gushed out, his desperation freezing her protests on her tongue. He’d bottled this up for three months, and he needed to get it out. “I’m so sorry, Rose.” Tears stung his eyes, and he saw an answering glimmer in her own. “I’m the one who brought you here. This is my fault.”
“No, Doctor-” Rose protested but the Doctor railroaded over her.
“I’m meant to keep you safe, and I failed. I-”
Rose slammed her hand over his mouth, forcing him to hear her.
“This is not your fault, it’s the Alii’s fault,” she insisted, but the Doctor knew better. “And you didn’t fail. It’s only because of you that I was safe. Every one of them could have died from changing, but I didn’t change because you kept me safe.”
“That was the TARDIS,” the Doctor spat, bitterly. “I can hardly claim credit.”
“But it was you who figured out what was causing it. So the TARDIS kept my body safe, but it was you who saved me. I didn’t remember anything of who I was. I didn’t remember you, the TARDIS, London; I didn’t even remember my own mum.” The Doctor wanted to protest, would have if she removed her hand, but she didn’t give him a chance. “You. Saved. Me,” she repeated firmly. She replaced her hand with her lips, coaxing him into returning the kiss. She kissed him with a persuasion that broke his heart and a hunger that melted it back together. She moaned softly, and he pulled back, unwilling to take advantage of her.
“Rose, I-I can’t.” he wailed softly.
“You bloody well can,” she retorted, always pushing him.
“I can’t keep you safe. If we encounter them again-”
“If we encounter them again, they’ll run screaming into the Void rather than face you.”
“But there are other species that can attack your mind,” he persisted.
“Then teach me how to protect myself,” Rose shot back, her patience clearly gone. She always knew when he was hiding something from her, and she always fought it. “You can’t just wrap me up in cotton wool.”
“You’re human, you can’t just learn how. Not without it first being done to you.”
“Then do it yourself! Whatever it is that you need to do, do it!”
The Doctor froze, stricken. “Rose wouldn’t say that,” he choked out.
“Yes, I would.”
“She-she wouldn’t let me in her mind.”
“Well, I’m Rose and I-“
“No!” he shouted and stalked away from her, deeper into the TARDIS, trying to escape such blatant evidence that he had failed. He heard her scurrying along behind him, trying to keep up with his longer strides.
“She didn’t even like the TARDIS translating for her. She would never let me in her head, not my Rose.” The Doctor only realized he was speaking aloud when an incensed Rose seized his arm and hauled him to a stop, facing her.
“I am your Rose, Doctor. When I didn’t know who I was, you did.” She looked up at him with pleading eyes, begging him to believe her, but he couldn’t meet her gaze for longer than a second. “I told you not to call me Rose; I told you to give up, but you didn’t. You never gave up on me. You knew I was still your Rose. You told me so every time.” The Doctor was doubtful, but he could feel his resolve crumbling, he wanted to curse his weakness. Rose pressed, “I am your Rose, Doctor.”
The Doctor jerked his head sharply to the side, desperate to escape her scrutiny. “There must be residual effects from the damage done by the Alii. Rose, you would never willingly let anyone into your mind.”
“Then test me!” she exploded. “If it would make you feel better, scan my brain, there must be something in that med bay of yours that can prove this is my choice.”
The Doctor stared at her, now unable to look away. He searched her eyes in the hope that she could be right. But he had known that Tyler’s being more amenable to him entering her mind was likely a side effect to the Alii’s invasion. If that hadn’t been fixed by their expulsion, how much else of her was altered? Was it Rose who kissed him or a remnant of Tyler?
The TARDIS gave him a mental prod, jerking his feet to life. He plodded towards the med bay like a condemned man towards the gallows. He wanted nothing less than his failures spelled out for him in unforgiving numbers, but, as always, he could deny Rose nothing.
She sat meekly on the examination table, letting him work in silence. He ran a wand slowly over her head. The computer chugged the numbers for a few minutes, processing her brain waves as they compared to what they should be. The tension of waiting made the Doctor almost regret resorting to 46th century medical equipment, rather than simply making an examination himself, but he couldn’t take advantage of her sudden willingness to allow him in her mind. Finally, a beep from the computer told him that the results were in. Rose squeezed his hand encouragingly, drawing a wan smile from him. He pulled the screen around to face them.
The shock of what he found made him sit down, hard. Rose’s patience soon ran out.
“Doctor? What’s wrong?” she asked, her concern not entirely masked. The Doctor couldn’t find the words to respond. “Oh god, Doctor, am I going to be okay?” The panic that tinged her voice jerked him from his reverie.
He pulled her into his embrace. Gratefully breathing in her smell under the bear-fat soap. “You’ll be fine. You are fine.” He beamed down at her, stepping back and taking both her hands, swinging them a little in giddy joy. “I don’t know how, but it’s like the Alii never touched you.”
“How’s that possible?”
“I guess the TARDIS protected you more than I’d thought. She was very worried about you.”
Rose nodded thoughtfully. “So, do you believe me now?” she asked warily.
The Doctor couldn’t keep from balking a bit. “I don’t know, Rose-“
“At least you’re calling me by name, again.”
“I don’t understand how you changed your mind about something so fundamental,” the Doctor finished, ignoring her interruption.
Rose took a deep breath, and the Doctor could almost feel her holding back an eye-roll. “Doctor,” she said calmly, rationally, “what do you think I’ve changed my mind about? Letting you in my mind? Doctor, I’d’ve been willing to let you in my mind almost as long as I’ve known you. If you can give me these mental defenses that kept you safe from all this, I want you to do.”
“But when you found out about the TARDIS-“
“Well, I hardly knew you then, did I? And I certainly didn’t know her yet.” The Doctor looked at her a little askance at that, but decided to come back to that issue at a later date. “All I wanted was to be asked first, but Doctor, I trust you with everything. I trust you to do this.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” the Doctor protested.
“You don’t know what I’m offering,” she countered. Her hand came up to cup his cheek, her thumb resting against the corner of his mouth. “I trust you with everything, Doctor. I trust you with all of time and space; I trust you with my planet, with my life, with my mum’s life. I trust you with my body, Doctor.” She paused for a moment, checking to make sure he knew what she meant. All he could offer as confirmation was a sound in the back of his throat which suspiciously resembled a whimper. “So, yes, I trust you with my mind.”
The Doctor was staggered by the weight of her faith in him. He couldn’t speak. Knowing he likely looked a daft fool, he could only stand there, his mouth opening quickly just to snap closed again, like a beached carp. She couldn’t mean it, shouldn’t mean it after all he’d done. Her thumb brushed against his cheek where her hand still rested, spurring him to action.
Relishing her shriek of surprise, the Doctor scooped Rose up and sat her on the examination table. He stepped between her legs and placed his hands on either side of her, trapping her against him. In this position, she was nearly his height, their lips mere centimeters apart. “Just tell me you’re certain,” he urged her softly.
“I am. I’m certain,” she whispered, and he could feel the warmth of her breath against his lips. “Doctor, I never want anything like that to happen again. I want to feel safe in my own head, and, Doctor,” she looked up at him with pleading eyes. For the first time since the Alii had released their hold, the Doctor saw Rose’s vulnerability, her fear of this invasion. “I don’t want to lose you again.”
“You’ll never lose me,” he assured her, wrapping her in his arms, every inch of her pressed against him, chest to chest, hips to hips, her legs tangled with his. He buried his face in her neck, breathing in her scent to dispel his own demons.
“I did, though. I didn’t remember who you were, not really. I didn’t remember what you meant to me, and I had to figure it out all over again.” Tears once again roughened her voice, and the Doctor cursed his blind stupidity. Of course she was scared. She had lost her entire identity at the whim of beings she wouldn’t even have been able to see without him. She’d had her entire existence ripped from her, and she no longer felt entirely safe in her own head. “Please, Doctor.”
The soft entreaty in her voice sliced through the final strands of his resistance. He pulled back just enough to give him room to place his fingers against her temple. He rested his forehead against hers. Taking in a shuddering breath, he closed his eyes and reached out to her.
Part 6
Pairing: 9/Rose
Rating: M
Genre: Romance/Adventure/Historical
Warnings: Explicit Sex, Crude Language (in Latin)
Summary:A trip to visit Caesar takes an unsuspected turn when everyone in a small village in Gaul, including Rose, has their memories changed and spontaneously develop lycanthropy. Can the Doctor reverse this before Caesar arrives and history is changed forever?
A/N: The translation for this Latin is available on request. It was fun to write. :D
Rose Tyler had been the runt of the litter. She, alone of the village, had been unable to shift, not even when the moon rose, full and beckoning, in the night. But even without knowing that, any observer could have quickly discerned she was different. She had kept the peace; she had placated; she had even been known to back down when challenged, if she had thought the fight unworthy.
The rest of the village hadn’t been able to understand her behavior, so they’d put it down to her being the runt. It had been completely uncharacteristic for any member of the bleithed. And though many had recognized the value of someone who could mend bridges, there had been those who looked down on her for this weakness.
She hadn’t known that it made the Doctor love her more, but she did now, and it filled her with inconsolable joy.
Rose leaned against the Doctor, content to use her dizziness as an excuse to stay wrapped in the Doctor’s strength, uncertain what her next move was supposed to be. She could remember the last few months, but the memories almost didn’t seem to be hers. It was as if a large amount of data had been dumped into her mind, and it was a daunting task to sort through. If she delved into a memory, it was briefly as if she were experiencing it, and then it felt truly her own, as if it were assimilated. But even without entering these months worth of memories, an undertaking she figured would have to wait until she had some down time, the headlines were displayed prominently in her mind.
And what salacious headlines there were. Extra, Extra: the Doctor’s kiss could make Rose Tyler’s knees weak even when she was sitting down. Read all about how Rose Tyler had never felt more cherished than when wrapped by the protective presence of the Doctor’s mind. But splashed across the front page in the biggest possible font that seemed to glow mauve, Rose Tyler confesses love to the Doctor; Doctor seems likely to respond in kind.
For the briefest second, a worried voice said she should pretend to forget it all. He might not want her to remember, might not want to change their friendship. But it was silenced by the look on the Doctor’s face when she told him she loved him, somehow both a memory and something she was seeing for the first time, flashing into her mind. It was a look that both tore at and mended her heart, full of longing, disbelief, and rapturous wonder.
Rose raised her eyes to meet the Doctor’s gaze. To anyone else, he might appear calm, but Rose could see the panic he was trying to smother. She smiled, hoping to reassure him. “Doctor, I-” a horn sounded from no more than 30 meters away, causing the Doctor to curse, turning his gaze on the slowly awakening village.
“We’ve got to wake them, Rose. Caesar can’t see them like this, it could change his entire Gallic campaign.”
“Bloody trumpet,” Rose sighed bitterly.
“Technically, it’s a classicum,” the Doctor told her, distractedly. Rose was gratified to note that, while his gaze had abandoned her, his mind visibly whirring into overdrive as he tried to figure out how to bring the villagers to full alertness, his arms remained locked around her, unwilling to relinquish her despite History’s call.
A nearby villager whimpered as he started to come to. Rose wondered, if it was so hard for her to come to terms with what had happened and she had been shielded by the TARDIS, how much more would they still be affected?
“I might be able to fix this,” she told him. The Doctor’s eyes flew down to her, at once surprised, proud, and slightly worried. Not letting him voice his concern Rose threw her head back and howled.
She felt a little ridiculous doing it, but the instincts of the wolf, which had not fully faded yet from the minds of the former bleithed, caused them to rouse, seeking to protect a pack member. Connall was the first to stand, and he quickly checked Amou, who seemed to be rousing.
“Caesar is here,” the Doctor told him. Connall’s eyes widened in concern and he quickly straightened his clothes.
“Will you both accompany me to meet him?” he asked solicitously. Rose couldn’t tell how much he remembered, but he seemed to know they were on his side.
The Doctor looked down at her, quizzically, deferring to her wishes. “Why not?” she asked almost dismissively. “Seeing him was the whole reason we came here.”
Suddenly, she was crushed against him in an exuberant hug. “You’re back,” he breathed. “Oh, Rose, you’re back.”
“I’m back,” she assured him when he released her enough to let her breathe. “And Doctor, I remember.”
“You remember?” The Doctor’s voice was so soft she could barely discern it despite still being wrapped in his arms.
“I remember,” she repeated firmly, refusing to back away from this. His continued immobility forced her to fill the silence, babbling until he could react. “I don’t know why I worried I’d forget, those sorts of things stick with you. I mean it’s not every day you tell a person you love them for the first time, or kiss them-”
“If you insist,” he muttered before crashing his lips down on hers. She opened immediately under his onslaught, eager to claim him even as she accepted his claim. A giddy thrill rushed through her with the knowledge that she had this right now, to claim him, to kiss him. He was hers.
Before they could really get started, an irritated throat cleared.
“As happy as I am for the two of you, and as much I like winning the bet I had with Wulffrith, you did say Caesar is here, and I doubt it’s wise to keep him waiting.” Connall stalked off towards the main entrance to the village
Rose exchanged a gleeful, sheepish look with the Doctor, and they followed the chieftain, hands grasped tightly between them.
Two men stood just outside the gate into town. They were dressed identically; the only difference being that one man had a thin red sash tied around his chest. “That one’s Caesar,” the Doctor murmured in her ear. “Roman generals would have a red tie around their torso to signify them as general in case they lost their head during the battle.” Rose fought down a shiver as his breath ghosted over sensitive skin, and she forced her attention to stay on the soldiers.
“He’s shorter than I’d imagined,” she muttered back. “He’s like a little Roman Napoleon.”
“Actually, he’s shorter than Napoleon, but then, most Romans were. The average Roman was only 157cm. Napoleon was 169cm.”
Rose giggled. “Is that why he-?”
“No,” the Doctor chuckled. “Caesar didn’t have a height problem. He just wanted to be the biggest fish in the pond. He once said he’d rather be the first man in a tiny province in Spain than be second in Rome. It’s ultimately what will lead to his civil war with Pompeius Magnus. He couldn’t bear to be second; Pompey couldn’t bear to have an equal.”
Conall stepped forward and introduced himself as the leader of the village.
Rose rolled her eyes, keeping an eye on the meeting between the men. “Because their egos are worth dying over.”
The Doctor shrugged. “Sometimes your ego is all you have. The only thing that keeps you going.” The Doctor gave her a sideways glance. “At least until you can find something better to live for.”
Rose squeezed his hand sympathetically. He rarely gave her insight like this into his life after the war before she met him. In front of them, the man without a sash was introducing himself as a translator for Caesar.
“I take it these guys don’t have girlfriends?” she whispered.
“Actually, Pompey is currently married to Caesar’s daughter, and he is head over heels for her. It’s the only thing that keeps the peace. When Julia dies in childbirth, Pompey is grief stricken and bitter. He’s inconsolable.” The Doctor trails off, his hand tightly gripping Rose’s, clearly commiserating with the Roman general’s loss. Rose moves closer to him, hoping to remind him that he hasn’t lost her yet. When her shoulder bumps his, the Doctor shakes himself from his melancholy and smiles down at her. “But while she lives, Pompey is softer, more willing to work with Caesar.”
Caesar casts his eyes over them disdainfully, and Rose falls silent, sensing that continuing her conversation with the Doctor will hurt Conall’s efforts to maintain peace and autonomy.
“Salvete,” Caesar said when he decided he had everyone’s attention.
“The illustrious general, Julius Caesar, greets you,” the interpreter intoned.
“Video hoc parvum oppidum esse. Dissensionem cum vos non habeo. Frumentum a vos ut nostros alere possim parare cupio. Vobis salutem pacemque redebo. Nobis vos tegente vostrum oppidum incrementum sciet.”
“The noble Caesar has no quarrel with a small town full of hard working people, as this village obviously is. He merely wishes to purchase grain from you to feed his troops. In return, he promises you peace and health. He will grant you protection so that your town may thrive.” The interpreter’s voice was like snake oil, it glided into the listeners’ ears and smarmed its way into their brains. Rose shook her head against it, suddenly feeling dirty.
“No money is offered, I see.” Connall remarked.
“Caesar will pay you,” the Doctor interjected. “It won’t be what you could get on the open market, but it won’t beggar you. And you want to stay on his good side.”
Connall offered a small smile to the interpreter. “Please tell Caesar that we will need some time to find out how much grain we can offer. Tell him that he and his men are welcome into the village while they wait.” The interpreter looked annoyed, but relayed the message.
As Connall and his men began to retreat Caesar remarked softly. “Eis quam stultissimis exstante, ad primam luce adsumus.”
The Doctor spun on his heel to face the most powerful man presently alive. “Ei, noli putare eos stultos esse solos quod magnum forum aut pulrchra aedificationa non habere. Mehercule, Tam stultus es ut in frigidissimo Borea tunicula geraseris.” He snapped out rapid, clipped sentences. Rose knew he was being both angry and condescending, but she didn’t understand a word. “Quale morio facit? Glaciales columnae tuae vostraeque cum masturbetis suffricabuntur.”
Caesar bristled, clearly undaunted by the Doctor’s larger stature. “Coge quem loquaris.”
“Audi, parva merda, scivi tuum avunculum, Gaium Marium. Bonus erat. Cum proximo tempo te vidi, tibi novas subligaculas donabam. Sic, tacete aut te intricabo.” The Doctor growled.
Caesar visibly quelled but rallied quickly. He straightened and walked past them, dripping dignified disdain. The Doctor rolled his eyes at the retreating general, before a mischievous look overtook his features. He looked down at Rose, an impish glint in his eyes.
“You’ll want to see this,” he said, grinning widely, all but dragging her into the center of the town.
Not yet reduced to embers, the shell of the wicker man still burned there, it’s payload long since having launched. Caesar stared up at the giant effigy, something akin to awe on his face. He muttered something to his interpreter that Rose couldn’t quite pick out. The interpreter cautiously approached Connall, who was just finishing speaking to several of the villagers, ordering them to take inventory of their stores.
“What is this?” the interpreter asked, gesturing to the burning giant.
“It is a sacrifice to our gods,” Connall stated simply. At the interpreter’s slightly nervous stare, Connall grinned wolfishly. “We build this giant man out of wicker, but he is hollow inside. We stuff him with prisoners, and burn them all in one go, giving honor to our gods and ridding ourselves of criminals.”
“Are the prisoners still alive?” the interpreter asked fearfully.
“Of course.” Connall stated simply, giving the man a friendly smile that seemed to scare him more than any malicious look.
Rose watched the interpreter return to Caesar, smothering her giggles. Caesar listened to the hushed words, and looked over at Connall with a new respect.
“It doesn’t scare him?” Rose asked.
“Nah. That’s the sort of thing Romans would be fine with, though they didn’t quite sacrifice humans themselves. All the Romans thought the Gauls and the Celts practiced this regularly. No one’s ever known where they got this idea.” His eyes danced with mirth.
“Guess we know, now.” Rose said, turning to face him fully, both her hands in his. She couldn’t help but return his grin. “Just one thing I don’t get. How did that-” she gestured to the fire that was starting to loose its shape “make the Alii’s ship work?”
“The Alii’s ship is slightly psychic, so it needed the belief of everyone watching.” The Doctor told her with his best I’m-so-impressive grin. “Its power cells had been completely drained, and the heat from the fire could be absorbed by it and converted into the energy it needed. As soon as it recharged, it was able to take off.”
“Will Amou be okay?” Rose asked softly.
The Doctor’s grin faded. “Should be. Only we will remember exactly what happened here. I wasn’t even sure you’d remember, but the TARDIS must have protected you more than I’d realized. Amou will remember being sick, and it will take some time for her to get back to herself, but she’ll heal.” He told her with a reassuring smile. “You humans are a rebounding lot. Now, though, we best get out of here and let the villagers handle the rest of their first contact with the Romans. They need to deal with this on their own.”
Rose nodded and turned towards the TARDIS, keeping one hand tucked securely in his. They started their trek back to the TARDIS. They’d done what needed to be done, and it was time they left so that history could get back to normal. She was not reluctant to leave this place. She missed the TARDIS and she missed being with the Doctor throughout the day, rather than the stolen moments she’d had with him as Tyler.
“How come you weren’t affected by all this?” Rose wondered aloud while the Doctor unlocked the blue door that sat in the doorway of the building the Doctor had commandeered.
The Doctor paused before answering, taking her hand as they walked into the console room. Rose closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the relieved TARDIS in her mind, welcoming her home. She gave the TARDIS a mental hug, letting the old girl know she’d been missed. Rose opened her eyes, fully aware he was watching her, making sure she was okay; she smiled at him, glad to be back where she belonged: in her head, next to him. After a few seconds of searching her eyes, no doubt wondering if she regretted coming with him, he tentatively returned the smile.
“Time Lord,” The Doctor answered, devoid of his usual smugness when explaining his genetic superiority. “We were trained to have strong mental defenses.”
“I don’t suppose that humans can have them. You never know when something like that will come in handy,” Rose remarked dryly.
*
The Doctor flinched as though she’d slapped him. “Rose…” his voice broke. Rose opened her mouth to cut him off, but he didn’t let her. “I’m sorry,” he gushed out, his desperation freezing her protests on her tongue. He’d bottled this up for three months, and he needed to get it out. “I’m so sorry, Rose.” Tears stung his eyes, and he saw an answering glimmer in her own. “I’m the one who brought you here. This is my fault.”
“No, Doctor-” Rose protested but the Doctor railroaded over her.
“I’m meant to keep you safe, and I failed. I-”
Rose slammed her hand over his mouth, forcing him to hear her.
“This is not your fault, it’s the Alii’s fault,” she insisted, but the Doctor knew better. “And you didn’t fail. It’s only because of you that I was safe. Every one of them could have died from changing, but I didn’t change because you kept me safe.”
“That was the TARDIS,” the Doctor spat, bitterly. “I can hardly claim credit.”
“But it was you who figured out what was causing it. So the TARDIS kept my body safe, but it was you who saved me. I didn’t remember anything of who I was. I didn’t remember you, the TARDIS, London; I didn’t even remember my own mum.” The Doctor wanted to protest, would have if she removed her hand, but she didn’t give him a chance. “You. Saved. Me,” she repeated firmly. She replaced her hand with her lips, coaxing him into returning the kiss. She kissed him with a persuasion that broke his heart and a hunger that melted it back together. She moaned softly, and he pulled back, unwilling to take advantage of her.
“Rose, I-I can’t.” he wailed softly.
“You bloody well can,” she retorted, always pushing him.
“I can’t keep you safe. If we encounter them again-”
“If we encounter them again, they’ll run screaming into the Void rather than face you.”
“But there are other species that can attack your mind,” he persisted.
“Then teach me how to protect myself,” Rose shot back, her patience clearly gone. She always knew when he was hiding something from her, and she always fought it. “You can’t just wrap me up in cotton wool.”
“You’re human, you can’t just learn how. Not without it first being done to you.”
“Then do it yourself! Whatever it is that you need to do, do it!”
The Doctor froze, stricken. “Rose wouldn’t say that,” he choked out.
“Yes, I would.”
“She-she wouldn’t let me in her mind.”
“Well, I’m Rose and I-“
“No!” he shouted and stalked away from her, deeper into the TARDIS, trying to escape such blatant evidence that he had failed. He heard her scurrying along behind him, trying to keep up with his longer strides.
“She didn’t even like the TARDIS translating for her. She would never let me in her head, not my Rose.” The Doctor only realized he was speaking aloud when an incensed Rose seized his arm and hauled him to a stop, facing her.
“I am your Rose, Doctor. When I didn’t know who I was, you did.” She looked up at him with pleading eyes, begging him to believe her, but he couldn’t meet her gaze for longer than a second. “I told you not to call me Rose; I told you to give up, but you didn’t. You never gave up on me. You knew I was still your Rose. You told me so every time.” The Doctor was doubtful, but he could feel his resolve crumbling, he wanted to curse his weakness. Rose pressed, “I am your Rose, Doctor.”
The Doctor jerked his head sharply to the side, desperate to escape her scrutiny. “There must be residual effects from the damage done by the Alii. Rose, you would never willingly let anyone into your mind.”
“Then test me!” she exploded. “If it would make you feel better, scan my brain, there must be something in that med bay of yours that can prove this is my choice.”
The Doctor stared at her, now unable to look away. He searched her eyes in the hope that she could be right. But he had known that Tyler’s being more amenable to him entering her mind was likely a side effect to the Alii’s invasion. If that hadn’t been fixed by their expulsion, how much else of her was altered? Was it Rose who kissed him or a remnant of Tyler?
The TARDIS gave him a mental prod, jerking his feet to life. He plodded towards the med bay like a condemned man towards the gallows. He wanted nothing less than his failures spelled out for him in unforgiving numbers, but, as always, he could deny Rose nothing.
She sat meekly on the examination table, letting him work in silence. He ran a wand slowly over her head. The computer chugged the numbers for a few minutes, processing her brain waves as they compared to what they should be. The tension of waiting made the Doctor almost regret resorting to 46th century medical equipment, rather than simply making an examination himself, but he couldn’t take advantage of her sudden willingness to allow him in her mind. Finally, a beep from the computer told him that the results were in. Rose squeezed his hand encouragingly, drawing a wan smile from him. He pulled the screen around to face them.
The shock of what he found made him sit down, hard. Rose’s patience soon ran out.
“Doctor? What’s wrong?” she asked, her concern not entirely masked. The Doctor couldn’t find the words to respond. “Oh god, Doctor, am I going to be okay?” The panic that tinged her voice jerked him from his reverie.
He pulled her into his embrace. Gratefully breathing in her smell under the bear-fat soap. “You’ll be fine. You are fine.” He beamed down at her, stepping back and taking both her hands, swinging them a little in giddy joy. “I don’t know how, but it’s like the Alii never touched you.”
“How’s that possible?”
“I guess the TARDIS protected you more than I’d thought. She was very worried about you.”
Rose nodded thoughtfully. “So, do you believe me now?” she asked warily.
The Doctor couldn’t keep from balking a bit. “I don’t know, Rose-“
“At least you’re calling me by name, again.”
“I don’t understand how you changed your mind about something so fundamental,” the Doctor finished, ignoring her interruption.
Rose took a deep breath, and the Doctor could almost feel her holding back an eye-roll. “Doctor,” she said calmly, rationally, “what do you think I’ve changed my mind about? Letting you in my mind? Doctor, I’d’ve been willing to let you in my mind almost as long as I’ve known you. If you can give me these mental defenses that kept you safe from all this, I want you to do.”
“But when you found out about the TARDIS-“
“Well, I hardly knew you then, did I? And I certainly didn’t know her yet.” The Doctor looked at her a little askance at that, but decided to come back to that issue at a later date. “All I wanted was to be asked first, but Doctor, I trust you with everything. I trust you to do this.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” the Doctor protested.
“You don’t know what I’m offering,” she countered. Her hand came up to cup his cheek, her thumb resting against the corner of his mouth. “I trust you with everything, Doctor. I trust you with all of time and space; I trust you with my planet, with my life, with my mum’s life. I trust you with my body, Doctor.” She paused for a moment, checking to make sure he knew what she meant. All he could offer as confirmation was a sound in the back of his throat which suspiciously resembled a whimper. “So, yes, I trust you with my mind.”
The Doctor was staggered by the weight of her faith in him. He couldn’t speak. Knowing he likely looked a daft fool, he could only stand there, his mouth opening quickly just to snap closed again, like a beached carp. She couldn’t mean it, shouldn’t mean it after all he’d done. Her thumb brushed against his cheek where her hand still rested, spurring him to action.
Relishing her shriek of surprise, the Doctor scooped Rose up and sat her on the examination table. He stepped between her legs and placed his hands on either side of her, trapping her against him. In this position, she was nearly his height, their lips mere centimeters apart. “Just tell me you’re certain,” he urged her softly.
“I am. I’m certain,” she whispered, and he could feel the warmth of her breath against his lips. “Doctor, I never want anything like that to happen again. I want to feel safe in my own head, and, Doctor,” she looked up at him with pleading eyes. For the first time since the Alii had released their hold, the Doctor saw Rose’s vulnerability, her fear of this invasion. “I don’t want to lose you again.”
“You’ll never lose me,” he assured her, wrapping her in his arms, every inch of her pressed against him, chest to chest, hips to hips, her legs tangled with his. He buried his face in her neck, breathing in her scent to dispel his own demons.
“I did, though. I didn’t remember who you were, not really. I didn’t remember what you meant to me, and I had to figure it out all over again.” Tears once again roughened her voice, and the Doctor cursed his blind stupidity. Of course she was scared. She had lost her entire identity at the whim of beings she wouldn’t even have been able to see without him. She’d had her entire existence ripped from her, and she no longer felt entirely safe in her own head. “Please, Doctor.”
The soft entreaty in her voice sliced through the final strands of his resistance. He pulled back just enough to give him room to place his fingers against her temple. He rested his forehead against hers. Taking in a shuddering breath, he closed his eyes and reached out to her.
Part 6