fic: One of Those Breathing Tornadoes
Title: One of Those Breathing Tornadoes
People: Hawaii 5-0, Danny/Steve, Teen
Warnings/Spoilers: None
A/N: Thanks to algernon-mouse and fitofpique for looking this over. Title is a line from 'Into the Dark' by Ben Lee.
Summary: Grace has everyone wrapped around her little finger, Steve's taste buds are under assault, and the true definition of a symbolic gesture is debated.
"If I were you," Danny says, "I would take it as a compliment."
Considering that the 'it' in question is Steve's vandalized truck, Steve's not so sure he agrees with Danny. "I don't know what they do in Jersey but smashing in someone's headlights isn't considered a compliment in most places."
"Maybe they didn't mean it like that but I think that's how you should take it. Think of it like you must be doing something right if you've made someone so mad that they vandalize your car in broad daylight while it's parked at HPD headquarters."
Steve moves to the front of the truck to check out the damage to the headlights and see if he can risk driving home tonight and fix them tomorrow. That's when he discovers the truck is tilted to one side. "Oh man, they got my tires too."
Danny circles around the truck and whistles. "You might actually need a new side panel back here. Somebody really hates you."
"We can't all be charmers like you," Steve says as he kicks the deflated tire. "Can you give me a ride home? I'll get it towed to the garage tomorrow."
"I gotta pick Gracie up from aftercare but I can drop you off after that," Danny says.
"That's cool. I can drive." Steve puts his hand out for the keys.
"No." Danny clutches the keys and makes for the driver's side. "We've been over this before. You are not allowed to drive when my daughter is in the car."
"Aw, come on." Steve stops walking and holds his hands out. "If Grace was in the car, I would be an excellent and safe driver."
"Try being a safe driver when Grace isn't in the car, and I'll think about it. If you don't get in the car now, you're walking home."
Steve stomps around the car and throws himself into the passenger seat.
"Stop sulking," Danny snaps. "Quite frankly, it's unattractive."
"Your face is unattractive."
"Ooooh, burn," Danny says.
By the time they get to Grace's school, the conversation has deteriorated into Steve insulting New Jersey while Danny mocks Steve's tattoos.
"If the word 'power' comes out of your mouth when describing your tattoos, you're officially a douche," Danny says.
"Fuck off," Steve mutters as he gets out of the car to let Grace climb into the back seat.
"Hi Daddy! Hi Steve!"
Danny looks over his shoulder and smiles. "How was your day, Monkey?"
Grace starts chattering about her day, her horrible math assignment, and how Ruthie says that Jason likes Grace but Grace thinks he's yucky. Steve twists around in his seat so he can watch her as she talks. It's like watching a miniature Danny, hands and hair flying everywhere.
"Steve," Gracie says out of nowhere, "you should come to dinner. Danno's making his specialty."
"Oh is he?" Steve asks. "What's your specialty, Danno?"
Grace leans forward in her seat. "You've never had Danno's specialty? You have to, have to come to dinner tonight. Have to."
Steve looks over at Danny. "Did you hear that? I have to."
"Yes, I heard," Danny replies. "Fine, Steve can have dinner with us tonight."
An hour later, Steve comes to the realization that his car isn't the only victim today. His taste buds are about to be assaulted in the worst way possible. He watches in disgust as Danny drops hot dogs into a pan full of boiling water. When Danny drains the pasta and pulls a cheese packet out of the cardboard box that the pasta came in, Steve can't keep his mouth shut any longer.
"Are you serious with this?"
Danny looks up and asks, "With what?"
"Boiled hot dogs with macaroni and cheese is your specialty?"
"Uh, it's shells and cheese, and yes, it is." Danny cuts the tab off the packet and squeezes the cheese into the pasta.
"That cheese is a color that you can't find in nature."
"Excuse me, Julia Child, but this is the meal of single dads worldwide that is guaranteed to make their children happy. My dad used to make this for us every time we stayed at his place and now I make it for Gracie. I wouldn't be surprised if a single dad invented Velveeta shells and cheese."
"There was no other tradition that you could have passed on to your child? You chose cheese that doesn't actually have dairy in the ingredient list and ground-up cow hooves as your legacy?"
"Look, I'm not saying it's a four star meal, but Gracie likes it." Danny stirs the shells angrily before dropping the spoon and turning around to face Steve. "In a few years, she's probably going to realize how gross it is but for right now, she's happy and that makes me happy. Can you try and live with that?"
Steve looks inside the pot and grimaces. "I'm just saying, I've had better MREs."
"What's an MRE?" Grace asks as she wanders into the kitchen.
Steve kneels down and puts a hand on the floor to steady himself. "An MRE is a special meal that soldiers eat. We don't always have time to cook and food can weigh a lot so the Navy gives out packaged meals that are easy to carry and ready to eat."
"They're not very good, Gracie, not as good as this." Danny pulls the plates out of the cupboard.
Steve twists around to look at him. "When have you ever had an MRE?"
"I've done lots of stuff you don't know about," Danny says as he rips some paper towels off the roll.
"But you said," Grace starts and Steve turns back around to give her his full attention, "that you've never had this before."
"I haven't," Steve admits.
"Then how do you know an MRE is better? I don't think it is. I don't think anything could be as good as this."
Danny leans over Steve and hands Grace a plate loaded with food. "Here you go, baby. Enjoy."
"Thanks, Danno. Can I color and eat?"
"Of course. Go sit at the coffee table, and I'll bring your milk out."
Steve stands up in time to catch Danny beaming. "It's ridiculous how proud you are of your daughter's ability to call someone out on their B.S."
"But she's so good at it." Danny grabs Steve's arm and shakes it gleefully. "It's amazing to watch. I can't wait until she starts using her powers for evil on Rachel."
"You do realize that she's going to turn on you too," Steve points out.
Danny carries a glass of milk out to Grace. On his way back to the kitchen, he says, "She'll never turn on her Danno. She's always going to be my little girl."
Steve snorts. "Keep telling yourself that."
Danny spoons out some macaroni and cheese and adds a hot dog to the plate before handing it to Steve. "Dig in. You don't want it to get cold. Then it's like chewing rubber cement."
Since Danny has yet to buy a real table, they have to stand at the kitchen counter and eat. Steve looks at the steaming pile of orange glop on his plate and then back at Danny. Danny's standing at the end of the counter, eating a hot dog while watching Grace color. Steve looks down at the plate again and forces himself to scoop up a forkful of shells. He brings the fork up to his nose, sniffs it and, before he can think better of it, puts it in his mouth and chews. Steve has had a lot of terrible meals in his life but this is definitely the grossest. He never knew that cheese could taste like plastic.
"Ugh," he mumbles. It's sticking to his teeth.
Danny looks over at him and laughs. "Oh my god, the look on your face is priceless. It's not that bad."
"It's pretty bad." Steve forces down another bite and then another. He keeps going until it's all gone and then cleanses his palate with a boiled hot dog, cursing Danny's father. He sounds like a great guy, but he clearly shouldn't have been allowed anywhere near a kitchen.
Danny puts his plate on the counter and walks over to Steve. "Good job cleaning your plate."
"Can we agree that I never have to go through this torture again?" Steve asks.
"Hey," Danny says softly. He moves even closer and crowds Steve against the counter.
"Yeah?" Steve breathes.
Danny leans over and pulls Steve down for a kiss. At first Steve is so shocked that he doesn't move at all, just stands there with his lips pressed against Danny's. Once Steve's brain catches up with the rest of his body, he decides he might as well go for broke while he's got the opportunity and deepens the kiss. He leans back against the counter and puts his hands on Danny's waist to bring him closer. Danny tastes like Velveeta and coffee. It's not as bad as Steve would have imagined.
Steve's reminding himself that Grace could walk in at any moment when Danny pulls away. He smiles and raises his eyebrows meaningfully at Steve. "Okay."
"Okay?" Steve sputters. "When I tried to kiss you two weeks ago, you were all, 'This isn't the right time, Steve,' and 'I don't know how I feel about you'. Then you clam up and refuse to discuss it, even though I've been on my best behavior. And now, for no reason, you decide to kiss me?"
"It wasn't the right time! You'd just been shot!"
"First of all, the bullet barely grazed my arm. Second, if kissing you after I literally took a bullet for you isn't the right time, then I have no idea when the right time would be."
"Every time you break out your special brand of logic, I realize how incredibly fucked up your brain is," Danny hisses. "How was I supposed to know if you wanted to kiss me or if you were just high on adrenaline and looking to get off? Furthermore, I wasn't sure I wanted to open this can of worms. In fact, I'm starting to regret it already."
Steve can't help but laugh. Danny's still leaning into him while Steve plays with the hair at the nape of his neck. He's not regretting anything. "What changed your mind?"
"You stuck around for dinner even though you knew it would be awful. And you ate the entire thing." Danny shrugs. "What can I say? I appreciated the symbolism of your gesture."
"You know what else is symbolic? Getting shot."
Danny's face turns about five shades of red, and he starts butting his head against Steve's chest.
"Ow!" Steve exclaims. "What are you doing? Stop that."
"Eff my life," Danny moans into Steve's shirt.
Before Steve can reply, Grace calls, "Danno, Steve, come look at my unicorn!"
"Coming, baby." Danny lifts his head. "We'll finish this discussion later after I've come to grips with the fact that I'm attracted to you in spite of everything you choose to be. Right now, we're going to go look at my kid's unicorn and tell her it's pretty."
Steve's not too worried. He's picked up a few tricks for derailing discussions about feelings over the years. He squeezes the back of Danny's neck. "Of course it's pretty. Gracie did it."
Danny shakes his head and kisses Steve again. "Good answer."
"Daddy!"
"Come on." Danny grabs Steve's hand and pulls him out of the kitchen.
People: Hawaii 5-0, Danny/Steve, Teen
Warnings/Spoilers: None
A/N: Thanks to algernon-mouse and fitofpique for looking this over. Title is a line from 'Into the Dark' by Ben Lee.
Summary: Grace has everyone wrapped around her little finger, Steve's taste buds are under assault, and the true definition of a symbolic gesture is debated.
"If I were you," Danny says, "I would take it as a compliment."
Considering that the 'it' in question is Steve's vandalized truck, Steve's not so sure he agrees with Danny. "I don't know what they do in Jersey but smashing in someone's headlights isn't considered a compliment in most places."
"Maybe they didn't mean it like that but I think that's how you should take it. Think of it like you must be doing something right if you've made someone so mad that they vandalize your car in broad daylight while it's parked at HPD headquarters."
Steve moves to the front of the truck to check out the damage to the headlights and see if he can risk driving home tonight and fix them tomorrow. That's when he discovers the truck is tilted to one side. "Oh man, they got my tires too."
Danny circles around the truck and whistles. "You might actually need a new side panel back here. Somebody really hates you."
"We can't all be charmers like you," Steve says as he kicks the deflated tire. "Can you give me a ride home? I'll get it towed to the garage tomorrow."
"I gotta pick Gracie up from aftercare but I can drop you off after that," Danny says.
"That's cool. I can drive." Steve puts his hand out for the keys.
"No." Danny clutches the keys and makes for the driver's side. "We've been over this before. You are not allowed to drive when my daughter is in the car."
"Aw, come on." Steve stops walking and holds his hands out. "If Grace was in the car, I would be an excellent and safe driver."
"Try being a safe driver when Grace isn't in the car, and I'll think about it. If you don't get in the car now, you're walking home."
Steve stomps around the car and throws himself into the passenger seat.
"Stop sulking," Danny snaps. "Quite frankly, it's unattractive."
"Your face is unattractive."
"Ooooh, burn," Danny says.
By the time they get to Grace's school, the conversation has deteriorated into Steve insulting New Jersey while Danny mocks Steve's tattoos.
"If the word 'power' comes out of your mouth when describing your tattoos, you're officially a douche," Danny says.
"Fuck off," Steve mutters as he gets out of the car to let Grace climb into the back seat.
"Hi Daddy! Hi Steve!"
Danny looks over his shoulder and smiles. "How was your day, Monkey?"
Grace starts chattering about her day, her horrible math assignment, and how Ruthie says that Jason likes Grace but Grace thinks he's yucky. Steve twists around in his seat so he can watch her as she talks. It's like watching a miniature Danny, hands and hair flying everywhere.
"Steve," Gracie says out of nowhere, "you should come to dinner. Danno's making his specialty."
"Oh is he?" Steve asks. "What's your specialty, Danno?"
Grace leans forward in her seat. "You've never had Danno's specialty? You have to, have to come to dinner tonight. Have to."
Steve looks over at Danny. "Did you hear that? I have to."
"Yes, I heard," Danny replies. "Fine, Steve can have dinner with us tonight."
An hour later, Steve comes to the realization that his car isn't the only victim today. His taste buds are about to be assaulted in the worst way possible. He watches in disgust as Danny drops hot dogs into a pan full of boiling water. When Danny drains the pasta and pulls a cheese packet out of the cardboard box that the pasta came in, Steve can't keep his mouth shut any longer.
"Are you serious with this?"
Danny looks up and asks, "With what?"
"Boiled hot dogs with macaroni and cheese is your specialty?"
"Uh, it's shells and cheese, and yes, it is." Danny cuts the tab off the packet and squeezes the cheese into the pasta.
"That cheese is a color that you can't find in nature."
"Excuse me, Julia Child, but this is the meal of single dads worldwide that is guaranteed to make their children happy. My dad used to make this for us every time we stayed at his place and now I make it for Gracie. I wouldn't be surprised if a single dad invented Velveeta shells and cheese."
"There was no other tradition that you could have passed on to your child? You chose cheese that doesn't actually have dairy in the ingredient list and ground-up cow hooves as your legacy?"
"Look, I'm not saying it's a four star meal, but Gracie likes it." Danny stirs the shells angrily before dropping the spoon and turning around to face Steve. "In a few years, she's probably going to realize how gross it is but for right now, she's happy and that makes me happy. Can you try and live with that?"
Steve looks inside the pot and grimaces. "I'm just saying, I've had better MREs."
"What's an MRE?" Grace asks as she wanders into the kitchen.
Steve kneels down and puts a hand on the floor to steady himself. "An MRE is a special meal that soldiers eat. We don't always have time to cook and food can weigh a lot so the Navy gives out packaged meals that are easy to carry and ready to eat."
"They're not very good, Gracie, not as good as this." Danny pulls the plates out of the cupboard.
Steve twists around to look at him. "When have you ever had an MRE?"
"I've done lots of stuff you don't know about," Danny says as he rips some paper towels off the roll.
"But you said," Grace starts and Steve turns back around to give her his full attention, "that you've never had this before."
"I haven't," Steve admits.
"Then how do you know an MRE is better? I don't think it is. I don't think anything could be as good as this."
Danny leans over Steve and hands Grace a plate loaded with food. "Here you go, baby. Enjoy."
"Thanks, Danno. Can I color and eat?"
"Of course. Go sit at the coffee table, and I'll bring your milk out."
Steve stands up in time to catch Danny beaming. "It's ridiculous how proud you are of your daughter's ability to call someone out on their B.S."
"But she's so good at it." Danny grabs Steve's arm and shakes it gleefully. "It's amazing to watch. I can't wait until she starts using her powers for evil on Rachel."
"You do realize that she's going to turn on you too," Steve points out.
Danny carries a glass of milk out to Grace. On his way back to the kitchen, he says, "She'll never turn on her Danno. She's always going to be my little girl."
Steve snorts. "Keep telling yourself that."
Danny spoons out some macaroni and cheese and adds a hot dog to the plate before handing it to Steve. "Dig in. You don't want it to get cold. Then it's like chewing rubber cement."
Since Danny has yet to buy a real table, they have to stand at the kitchen counter and eat. Steve looks at the steaming pile of orange glop on his plate and then back at Danny. Danny's standing at the end of the counter, eating a hot dog while watching Grace color. Steve looks down at the plate again and forces himself to scoop up a forkful of shells. He brings the fork up to his nose, sniffs it and, before he can think better of it, puts it in his mouth and chews. Steve has had a lot of terrible meals in his life but this is definitely the grossest. He never knew that cheese could taste like plastic.
"Ugh," he mumbles. It's sticking to his teeth.
Danny looks over at him and laughs. "Oh my god, the look on your face is priceless. It's not that bad."
"It's pretty bad." Steve forces down another bite and then another. He keeps going until it's all gone and then cleanses his palate with a boiled hot dog, cursing Danny's father. He sounds like a great guy, but he clearly shouldn't have been allowed anywhere near a kitchen.
Danny puts his plate on the counter and walks over to Steve. "Good job cleaning your plate."
"Can we agree that I never have to go through this torture again?" Steve asks.
"Hey," Danny says softly. He moves even closer and crowds Steve against the counter.
"Yeah?" Steve breathes.
Danny leans over and pulls Steve down for a kiss. At first Steve is so shocked that he doesn't move at all, just stands there with his lips pressed against Danny's. Once Steve's brain catches up with the rest of his body, he decides he might as well go for broke while he's got the opportunity and deepens the kiss. He leans back against the counter and puts his hands on Danny's waist to bring him closer. Danny tastes like Velveeta and coffee. It's not as bad as Steve would have imagined.
Steve's reminding himself that Grace could walk in at any moment when Danny pulls away. He smiles and raises his eyebrows meaningfully at Steve. "Okay."
"Okay?" Steve sputters. "When I tried to kiss you two weeks ago, you were all, 'This isn't the right time, Steve,' and 'I don't know how I feel about you'. Then you clam up and refuse to discuss it, even though I've been on my best behavior. And now, for no reason, you decide to kiss me?"
"It wasn't the right time! You'd just been shot!"
"First of all, the bullet barely grazed my arm. Second, if kissing you after I literally took a bullet for you isn't the right time, then I have no idea when the right time would be."
"Every time you break out your special brand of logic, I realize how incredibly fucked up your brain is," Danny hisses. "How was I supposed to know if you wanted to kiss me or if you were just high on adrenaline and looking to get off? Furthermore, I wasn't sure I wanted to open this can of worms. In fact, I'm starting to regret it already."
Steve can't help but laugh. Danny's still leaning into him while Steve plays with the hair at the nape of his neck. He's not regretting anything. "What changed your mind?"
"You stuck around for dinner even though you knew it would be awful. And you ate the entire thing." Danny shrugs. "What can I say? I appreciated the symbolism of your gesture."
"You know what else is symbolic? Getting shot."
Danny's face turns about five shades of red, and he starts butting his head against Steve's chest.
"Ow!" Steve exclaims. "What are you doing? Stop that."
"Eff my life," Danny moans into Steve's shirt.
Before Steve can reply, Grace calls, "Danno, Steve, come look at my unicorn!"
"Coming, baby." Danny lifts his head. "We'll finish this discussion later after I've come to grips with the fact that I'm attracted to you in spite of everything you choose to be. Right now, we're going to go look at my kid's unicorn and tell her it's pretty."
Steve's not too worried. He's picked up a few tricks for derailing discussions about feelings over the years. He squeezes the back of Danny's neck. "Of course it's pretty. Gracie did it."
Danny shakes his head and kisses Steve again. "Good answer."
"Daddy!"
"Come on." Danny grabs Steve's hand and pulls him out of the kitchen.