Fic for fehrplay
For: fehrplay
From: butifulyletdown
Request: Chlark baby,first Christmas, Gabe in the story and no death
Type: Fic
Title: All Beginnings Change
Rating: FRT
Warning: none
Summary: Is it possible to begin again? I suck at summaries so...
A/N: This is a tag to Bride and Legion. No Dooms/Davis and no attack on wedding. I had this idea immediately after seeing your request. It's probably not what you had in mind, but I do hope you like it. And Happy New Year
"I go and I take you with me."
He remembers her, him... it saying that. She'd stopped thrashing against their restraint, stopped her violent struggles and attempts to fight back. Brainiac gave in to his defeat, but not before he'd stilled her body and looked Clark directly in his concerned eyes. Her eyes, dark and void of life... void of humanity, twisted her pale face with a scornful grin, a wicked smirk. "We've both lost Kal-El." It said and the hint of amusement intoned in her words could not be overlooked. "But, I'll finish the work you've began. I go and I take you with me." Her devilish grin widening in triumph at the confusion displayed openly on Clark's face.
If he only knew, Clark muses. That was almost five days ago. Clark was able, with the help of the Legion, to exorcize Brainiac from Chloe's body. As it said, it went, much to all of their relief, but with it; the alien super computer took him. Brainiac, in it's last act of destruction and anarchy, took with it Chloe's memory. And not just wiped her mind clean, but pointedly erased any memory and all knowledge of her life and friendship with Clark Kent. Where Clark erased her knowledge of his Kryptonian lineage, Brainiac erased him completely. "I'll finish the work you've began." It had said. For five days it's last words haunted him with a skeptical look; tore at him with a hesitant approach; destroyed him with her uncertain conversations. Chloe regards him as a stranger and the pain Clark feels sometimes is inexplicably unbearable.
She doesn't know him any more. And he doesn't know if it can ever be fixed.
Chloe really wishes he would stop. Shifting uncomfortably in her chair at the Kent's dining room table, Chloe chanced a quick glance up. And yup, she sighed, returning her focus to the untouched meal in front of her; he was still staring at her. Constantly, she can feel the weight of his gaze on her. Clark's eyes, filled with so much longing, so much sadness, so much expectation... it's driving her a bit insane.
Usually or normally, she's pretty certain she'd be flattered by the attention he's showing her. Clark is an unbelievably attractive guy and the way he looks at her as if she is his whole world... well, it's humbling. His unguarded eyes reflecting so much love, so much hope. Yeah, Chloe is definite, if the circumstances were different they most likely wouldn't be sitting awkwardly across from each other right now, searching for suitable conversation.
Maybe if she remembered him but then again, she saw the way Clark and Lana the cheerleader regarded each other... so maybe not. She remembers the princess from high school, although she's not sure why they became friends; best friends Lana said. How? Was all Chloe could think. There's not much about the willowy brunette that Chloe ever liked in high school... it had to have been because of the man sitting across from her. Chloe sighs again quietly, her gaze unfocused on the plate in front of her as she absently moves the food from one side to the other. She doesn't remember much of anything from the last few months. And even worse, her high school years are all a blur. There are things she can recall with HD clarity, yet those moments are disconnected from the next. Clark said that they were best friends for almost 9 years and that whatever it was that attacked her took all memory of him. Chloe guesses it makes sense. There are so many inconsistencies, so many gaping wounds in her time line, that can only be filled with Clark.
Unconsciously, she raises her head and stares blindly across from her, not noticing when Clark unwaveringly meets her gaze. She's not sure why but she trusts him. There's something about this farm boy, outside of his amazing beauty and unbelievably gorgeous physique. There's just something more she can see under the surface. A power, some strength and confidence, something so endearing... yeah, she trusts him. Best friends for 9 years. She has to wonder if they were ever more, if they ever dated. Chloe can't possibly conceive being so close to him for so long and not being with him romantically. Hell, she's having a hard time now as it is and she doesn't even know him. The way he watches her, the way he touches her, his earnestness and gentleness, his care. She had to have been in love with him. Even now, to her own chagrin, Chloe can see herself so easily falling in love with this man. Shrugging, she returns her eyes to her plate and figures she must be easy.
"What time is your father getting in?" Clark's soft hesitant words drift across the table, startling her out of her musings. She doesn't miss the small tremor in his voice. She really hates that he's hurting, but what can she do. She just doesn't remember.
Chloe glances up at him, "Tomorrow morning. We're going Christmas Eve shopping in Granville together." And she must say, it's a relief to be able to be around someone familiar. It was decided after the exorcism, she guesses it was an exorcism, that she would stay on the farm with Clark. Apparently, a lot of things occurred in the months she can't recall. For one, she's married. Married? Married at 21. To Jimmy Olsen, she snorts to herself. How could she marry someone like Jimmy Olsen? That's another part of her memory that's fuzzy, unfocused and disconnected from her logic. Yes, she dated him, she remembers that clearly... why she dated him seriously, she can't understand. Frankly, he just isn't her type. Sure, he's cute in a cuddly sort of way, and incredibly geeky and loads of fun. But for their relationship to progress towards marriage? Chloe can't see it. It's really nonsensical. It must have been whatever, whoever possessed her. It had to have been. In any case, it was suggested and then agreed upon that for the time being she'd stay away from Jimmy... and Lois, until she gets her bearings.
Her cousin Lois, apparently now works at her dream job, the Daily Planet, sitting across from Clark. Chloe can't help but be a little intrigued about how that partnership is coming along; she smiles wryly. She doesn't know Clark well, but she knows her cousin... yeah it must be hell for them both. Chloe kind of pities Clark. Or she would if he wasn't working at the Planet as well, when she herself had been fired. And what was that about... "...So many holes." Chloe grumbles quietly.
"What was that?" He startles her. Chloe hadn't realized she'd spaced out again.
Smiling ruefully, she shakes her head. "It's nothing... it's..." Trailing off, Chloe stares at him quizzically, then decides against denial. If she's going to see her way through, get back the truth, she'll have to be honest. "Actually, I said, there are so many holes... in my memory." She says clearly, pointedly. "There are things I remember so clearly... but then others..." She shrugs. "... blanks."
And she notes the contrition clouding his green eyes once again as his shoulders slump in defeat. It's as if, the world tumbled down on him in that one minute and the weight is unbearable. God, she wishes he would stop.
"It's not your fault Clark." She says softly, hoping her words will ease some of his obvious burden.
"We'll find a way to get everything back Chloe... I promise." He answers eagerly.
Chloe nods, "I know you'll try, we'll try... But even if we don't, remember it's not your fault. I don't want you moping forever about this."
"Yes it is... it's my fault. " He says downtrodden. "I couldn't protect you. I should have..." His voice chokes and he clears his throat. "It was my job to protect you." His gaze locks on hers. "You always said, I was your hero and I... I failed you."
Chloe rises abruptly from her chair and closes the distance between them. Sitting in the chair next to him, she reaches for his hand then hesitates... is touching allowed? All of her actions of late are hedged, reluctant and uncertain and it kills him. Clark takes the initiative and clasps her delicate hand with his own.
She breathes out, the heat from his body, the electric current rushing through her from such simple contact with him. The quivering she feels in her body when his thumb absently caresses her palm... is he sure that they were just best friends. This, she'd never felt while with Jimmy. Why did she marry him?
She clears her throat. Not wanting to reveal her desires or how much his attention affects her. Although, she's pretty sure her cheeks are flushed a little, she can't help it, Clark is extremely sexy and being this close to him, having him touch her, it's a bit unnerving.
Trying to clear her thoughts and get back on topic, she attempts to focus on the sadness in his eyes, the defeat wrought within and not the depth and sincerity of love and longing accompanying.
"Clark..." Nervously, she tucks her hair behind her ear with her free hand and tries again. "Clark, this has to stop. I don't remember, and it's frustrating and maddening and I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." He's quick to interject with a vehement shake of his head.
"Not saying it is Kent. What I mean is, I'm sorry that it's causing you pain. But it's not your fault either. And we have to get through it. In no way am I giving up... but right now, it is what it is. You've said that we're best friends, been best friends for awhile right?"
Clark nods and she presses on. "So what would I say to you in this situation?"
His grin is small and almost reverent, "You'd say something snarky about my ability to beat myself up; to get over it and to just work the problem in front of me."
She smiles widely. "Great advise. Much better than perfecting your moping technique."
"I'm not moping." He defends instantly, and the pout forming on his lips is so adorable, Chloe has to struggle hard not to catch his plump bottom lip between her teeth; she settles for nibbling on her own, which unknown to her does Clark no favors.
"You seem the type Kent. I can see your brood coming a mile away." She says in effort to deflect her naughty thoughts. What's the matter with her, she doesn't even know this man! Sighing, Chloe glances away briefly before turning back to him. "We may have to accept that I may never remember you Clark." She rushes on cutting off his objection. "And I hate it. There are massive chunks of my life that's just so damn spotty." She clenches her eyes shut in frustration. "But we'll deal and try to make new memories." Opening her eyes, she silently begs him to accede... she's not sure how much longer she can deal with the unspoken pressure. "Please Clark. This is me now and I'm not averse to learning about our past together; but the expectation is too much..." She squeezes his hand affectionately. "Please?"
Clark swallows hard. The desperate plea in her eyes, in her words is his undoing. He wants his Chloe back, wants them back with a ferocious all encompassing need he never knew existed in him. God he just wants Chloe... in anyway. He concedes mutely with a nod.
And without premeditation or warning, pulls the tiny blonde into his arms and drowns her in his enfold. Surprised but not complaining, Chloe melts into his embrace. Yeah, she could so easily fall in love with him. While clutching at him, she has to wonder if she already is.
---
Christmas Eve morning brought with it a flurry of snow fall and mayhem in the Kent kitchen. They'd decided last night before retreating to a night of restless uneasy sleep that a big Christmas Eve dinner was in order. Problem was... neither were much into the culinary arts. Chloe assumed he knew this about her and having that knowledge, thought Clark could handle it without much assistance. She was wrong.
Chloe laughed heartily at the confused frown mapping lines across Clark's face. "Geez Clark, you're worse than I am."
"Am not!" he pouted while staring forlornly at the turkey on the counter. "How hard could it be to baste a turkey and bake it?" His confident words clearly contradicting the skeptical look he adorns.
At the kitchen island, Chloe chops the vegetables and whispers absentmindedly, "Probably as hard as it is to find a 15 pound turkey on Christmas Eve." That has been bothering her all morning. She knows for a fact that the shops are closed today in Smallville. She knows because she called around yesterday in preparation for spending the day with her father; hence the need to go to Granville Mall. She knows this and yet Clark left early this morning and brought back a rather large turkey with all the fixings in under 30 mins. And that's not the only weird thing she's noticed in the past week.
Clark doesn't drive to Metropolis. He purposefully doesn't drive to work, wanting her to have the ability to travel freely and leaves the truck at her disposal. She knows there's more to his decision than his considerable charity. She knows he wants her to see. See the truth. He hasn't come out and said it, but she's pretty sure he may be meteor infected... he can probably teleport. She thinks she knew a girl in high school that could teleport, she thinks that girl may have died. Either way, Chloe doesn't bring it up. She figures when he's ready to reveal his status to her, he will, it's enough that he's comfortable enough to be himself. She's still trying to figure out the lines of their friendship for herself and is immensely thankful that Clark is wise enough to just be... without the added pressure.
"Um..." Clark glances over his shoulder. "... Do you want to know?" And the unmistakable trepidation intoned in his voice has her shaking her head in the negative.
"When you're ready." She smiles, cutting into a tomato when Clark breathes deep. She can tell he's preparing himself to say something, most likely something heavy. She can also tell that he's not ready to share it. She's not sure how or even when, but she's gotten pretty proficient at reading him. For someone who lies A LOT and Clark lies a ton... there is something so very honest in his regard with her. It's as if he wants her to see him. Chloe smiles appreciatively to herself. She doesn't know what they used to have but she is grateful for what they have now.
She changes the subject, once he makes a tentative approach to the island counter. He seems skittish almost childlike in his hesitance. If she didn't know there was something important he was holding back, she's sure she'd be in stitches. Laughing at the ridiculousnes of this giant of a man frightened of a conversation. "So how is it, that my dad acquired a helicopter from Metropolis International airport to Smallville? Seems pretty grand and daddy wouldn't tell me anything on the phone."
The visible relief in Clark's posture evokes a satisfied smile in her, however she didn't miss the hint of disappointment in his eyes.
"Uh.." He clears his throat. "Oliver Queen."
"Excuse me!" Chloe gapes. "The billionaire, Oliver Queen?"
"Yeah." Clark shrugs dismissively. "He offered." He says by way of explanation.
"Oh." Chloe nods feigning nonchalance. That explains it. "So you, my humble farm boy, have billionaires offering helicopter rides often?"
Clark smiles, self-deprecatingly. "Well, it would have been the jet, but your father already bought his plane ticket and refused the refund from Ollie."
"Wha..." Her gaping returns. She is truly speechless. She remembers Lois dated Oliver, but can't quite believe how such a simple man like Clark Kent would become affiliated with Oliver Queen - playboy and globe trotter. Surprising. Yes, she remembers thinking there was more to the sexy Mr. Kent and there definitely is.
Collecting herself, Chloe realizes she's staring open mouthed and shuts her mouth abruptly, turning back to her task of cutting and sorting. She swallows, "Thank him for me, will you?" She finishes quietly.
He nods silently in reply.
Then a dazzlingly wide grin evolves from his solemn expression. Startled by his sudden change, Chloe can only stare bewildered at it's brilliance. Clark really is a gorgeous guy but...
"What? Why?...." She begins only to be cut short by the soothing tones of a voice she'd longed to hear.
"So... I hear my baby girl is having a hard time of it this Christmas."
Chloe whirls around swiftly. "Daddy?" She whispers, breathlessly. Her heart pounding in her chest. God, how she longed to see him. "Daddy!" She squeals running rapidly into the living room toward his outstretched arms. Ready to catch her. Always ready to catch her. She needs his security. Snuggling into his embrace, Chloe sniffs. She's missed him so much, craved him and never realized until now.
Clark looks on, his grin of excitement turning into a wistful smile. He wishes he could be all that Chloe needs but apparently, he isn't enough. Noting the silent nod of gratitude from Gabe, Clark returns it stiffly and chokes back his envy. It's not about him right now. It's about Chloe.
"So tell me tickerbell.." He steps away slightly, so he can look at her flushed face, tears of happiness and relief forming a path down her cheeks, allowing a moment to take her in. "... how have you been?"
"Confused." She answers honestly.
"I've heard." Gabe nods, gazing at her searchingly. "And they haven't caught the psycho who did this to you?"
"Daddy.." she sighs, explanation cut into by Clark's sudden response.
"He's a lot harder to apprehend Mr. Sullivan." He states from his place in the kitchen.
Gabe narrows his eyes at the Kent boy's vague answer. He should be used to it, he knows. Throughout the years of Chloe's friendship with Clark, there have been multiple... too many to count really, unexplainable occurrences and usually he would accept the vague explanation, brush off the awful lies, because his baby girl was safe. That was all that mattered and Gabe knew she had a penchant for running into trouble, chasing a story or following a lead. He tried not to let the mysteries bother him; but not this time. This time, someone invaded his Chloe's mind. Why? Just for kicks he guesses and that bastard, scrambled her brain. He took her memories and Gabe knows it could have been a hell of a lot worse. No... non-answers will not cut it this time.
"And what do you know about it Clark? You promised me you would protect her; that she was safe with you. How could you let this happen?" His voice unintentionally rising in his exclamation.
Clark folded into himself at the older man's outburst. How could he let this happen?
"Daddy!" Chloe scolded. "This is not Clark's fault. God, I just got him to stop blaming himself. Shit happens and it did." She tells him. "Please daddy."
Gabe nods. "I'm sorry baby." Looking over to the stricken boy... boy? He snorts to himself, the gangly Clark Kent has turned into a mack truck. Studying the abject defeat in his posture and desolation clearly revealed in Clark's eyes, Gabe berates himself for his careless accusations. He should have remembered how guilt ridden the youngest Kent could be. He always reacted as if the world and all it's ravages were his own doing, especially in Smallville. In their younger days, the amount of responsibility the boy put on himself, one would think Clark created every beast and mutant with his own hand. He was always flogging himself after an attack or mutant related case the kids were working on. Even worse when Chloe wound up hurt. He knew Clark cared for his little girl deeply and wonders fleetingly if Clark ever realized how much.
"I'm sorry Clark." Gabe finally intones.
"It's..." He begins, chokes and then swallows the swell of emotion. "...It's fine. Mr. Sullivan. I should have been able to..."
"STOP IT!" Chloe shouts, startling both her father and Clark. "Just stop it Clark." She glares at him, her eyes shooting sparks. "It is not your fault. And daddy..." She turns to the amused man. "... no more blame."
The older man nods, trying to hold back his smile. His little girl was always good at handling the Kent boy.
"OK, so look..." She continues, now that the self-recriminations were over. "... I planned the whole day for us. First we're going to Granville to shop, we can have lunch there. Smallville is useless during the holidays. And then we'll come back here for Christmas Eve dinner." The excitement in her voice and the gleeful energy in her tiny body causes both men to grin stupidly along with her. Chloe turns back to Clark, pinning him with a stern look. "Clark about dinner preparations..." she indicates the chaotic kitchen with a nod of her head. "...call your mother."
He has to laugh at her serious, morose expression. "Chloe..." Clark whines while casting a fretful glance at the enormous turkey.
"I'm serious Kent." She orders flippantly, grabbing her coat off of the rack by the back door. "We'll be back by 5 the latest." She gives his forearm a brief squeeze in parting and fights to keep herself from kissing his cheek. The domesticity must be getting to her. With a shake of her head, chiding herself for her developing feelings, Chloe clasps her hand around her father's and pulls him out of the door.
---
They spend the day catching up. Chloe pulling her reluctant father from one store to the next. She has to admit that she's grateful at the ease with which she can speak to her father. That lack of pressure in regard to asking him questions about her past. It's not that Clark discourages it, it's actually the opposite, but she can't help feeling like she's letting him down when she asks things she should obviously know about him or them. And finding a gift that he may like is another problem. Truth is, she just doesn't know.
It's while sharing lunch with her father at a small bistro, that he fills her in on some of what she's missing. Like when he lost his job at the Smallville plant and why he had to move all the way to Fawcett City to find a company that would hire him. His answer horrifies her. Chloe knows he didn't tell her to make her feel bad, it's the facts plain and simple... but that's just it. It's merely the facts, there is no intent, no reason, no knowledge of motivations or feelings. Her father can just supply the outcome, the cause and effect. Maybe Clark can offer the reasons.
It's also at lunch that her father suggests she come back to Fawcett City with him, at least until she decides what she wants to do next, until she can get on her feet again. And Chloe can't deny the offer is tempting, although she knows it would be running away. Leaving all of the questions behind and beginning anew. It's very appealing. She accepts only a moment later with little reluctance. She knows she'll be back in Smallville eventually. Even though she doesn't remember him, she can't imagine leaving Clark for a long stretch time. It's inexplicable and unexpected, but she loves him. She can't deny.
---
Arriving back at the farm, brings the surprise of Lana the cheerleader and unexpectedly her cousin Lois. Chloe glances at Clark over Lois' shoulder curiously, to which he answers with a mere shrug. Chloe hugs her back, just accepting.
Dinner begins smoothly, although awkward and stilted; the silence about stifling, the food turned out pretty well.
Chloe attempts to break the quiet torture. "Surprised you were able to finish the bird Clark. Well done. I see you're a man of many talents.." She winks and smiles at a blushing Clark. Even his embarrassment is adorable. Chloe's grin widens at his reaction. Until across from her, Lana the cheerleader, clears her throat and interjects.
"Actually, Clark called me to help." She laughs lightly, "If it was up to him, he'd use heat vision on.." She cuts herself off abruptly at her slip.
Clark chokes on his mouthful of food and downs half of the wine in his glass. Lois just sulks opposite Gabe, casting lingering glances at both Clark and Lana.
Chloe hadn't failed to see the looks her cousin had been bestowing to an oblivious or intentionally ignorant Clark. Those looks forcing Chloe to speculate exactly what type of partnership they have at the Daily Planet. But what holds her attention are Lana's words... heat vision. She turns questioningly towards Clark. Raising her eye brows incredulously. Heat vision? Again he just shrugs and continues eating. While Gabe just glances around the table at all the youngsters and their naivety.
He's figured them all out and so wished he had Martha there to share in his enjoyment. Kids. He can see so clearly Lois' interest in Clark and also the obviousness in Clark's adoration of his daughter. Lana appears to be the odd one out. Gabe can tell she gets it too. But what bothers him is the jealous glares she doesn't even try to hide at his daughter. Yes, heat vision is right. If Lana had it, his baby girl would be extra crispy.
Chloe clears her throat and focuses her attention on her uncharacteristically quiet cousin. "Lo... something wrong with your food? You've been pretty silent over in your corner."
The tall brunette smiles ruefully. "Just curious..." She begins lowly, then proceeds with more confidence. "Just curious why you've abandoned your husband for the bumbling copy boy." She spits out.
Now Gabe's the one to choke on his food. Chloe pats his back, narrowing her eyes at her cousin and her lack of tact as her father coughs and wheezes. "Husband?" He squawks. "My little girl's married?" He turns his disbelieving eyes from Chloe to glare fire at Clark. "You let my girl get married? To whom?"
Chloe sighs heavily, head bowed in humiliation. "Jimmy." She voices quietly. So quietly, if Gabe weren't sitting next to her, he would have never heard.
"Jimmy!" He shouts out. "Jimmy Olsen? The photographer? That little runt that took your innocence and never called you back?"
Chloe flinches at his apparent angry disbelief. "You knew I was dating him." She says by way of explanation. Why she's explaining something she doesn't even fully understand herself, she has no idea.
"Well yeah," and now Gabe's fuming. "...but I knew it wouldn't last. You knew it wouldn't last tinkerbell; you told me that yourself last year." Gabe shakes his head, what the hell happened here. "I... I don't know what to say. Chloe. How could you marry one man when you're in love with another."
Now Chloe chokes while taking a sip of wine and Clark's eyes are huge along with Lois' while Lana's glare begins to scorch.
Chloe's adamant in her denial and shake of her head. "I am not in love with another man... I'm not and... and... and I'm not in love with him either." She breathes deep, closing her eyes momentarily hoping to bring order to her thoughts. "I don't remember OK." She whispers. "I just don't remember." She turns to her father; close to tears in her frustration. "I can't give you the answer you want, because I just don't know." Pushing herself away from the table she finishes quietly. "Excuse me, I need some air."
She rises and exits the dining room through to the back door.
The table falls into suffocating silence as if Chloe took all the air with her in her departure. Clark slowly turns his eyes to Lois, and the enraged accusation so strongly reflected in them, has Lois flinching back as if physically struck.
"I'll go talk to her." Clark rises smoothly from him place, wasting no time in waiting for acknowledgment from the tables remaining occupants.
Once outside on the porch, Clark doesn't hesitate in wrapping his arms around Chloe from behind, resting his chin on the top of her head, he can feel her body relent to his warmth as she burrows further into his embrace. He really loves this. It's odd how close they've gotten in just a week. He would have never thought a clean slate could bring them this.
"What was that?" She whispers. Her breath leaving little puffs of smoke in the cold air.
"I don't know." He says just as quietly above her.
"God..." She sighs. "That was awful. Why was there so much tension. I thought we were all friends. I thought..."
"I don't know Chloe." Clark squeezes her, pulling her snuggly against his chest. "I thought we all were too."
They're silence is companionable and so easy, just enjoying the heat and feel of each other.
"I've decided to go to Fawcett City with my father." Chloe says hesitantly, unsure of how Clark will take the news. His hold tightens as his body stiffens behind her. She can feel the rapid pace of his heartbeat in her shoulder blade yet Clark remains quiet. "He's leaving in a couple of days and I thought about it. I think it's best that I go with him. Things here are just too complicated for me right now and I need to be able to work them out without complicating things further."
"This is about me?" He asks, but it's not a question. He knows.
"No. It's actually about me Clark. You've been wonderful. Amazing really. But I don't want my feelings to get in the way of recovery you know."
"What?" Clark loosens his hold and steps back. She sighs, she didn't want this to happen either. Sometimes, it's damn hard to be honest.
Turning slowly, Chloe leans against the railing and studying the shocked man in front her. "I don't know. Maybe it's the lack of history or knowledge of our history..." She smiles ruefully. "You know, it can be quite liberating, freeing, not to be held down by past interactions." Chloe shrugs. "Whatever it is, I know I don't know you..."
"You know me best." Clark cuts in and the sincerity and earnestness in his voice has the power to break her. She can feel the tears already building behind her eyes.
"That's just it Clark. I don't know you." She says quietly, then rushes on before Clark can protest. "I don't. But I really really want to. I don't know the dynamics of our past friendship, I don't even know what I felt about you or for you a month ago, two weeks ago even but I know how I feel now. And I don't want to... can't afford to mess things up with unreciprocated feelings."
Peering at her with discernable incredulity, Clark's finding it hard to comprehend. Is she saying what he thinks she's saying? How can she be so open? How can... "What are you saying?" He asks before he can stop himself.
Laughing lightly at his disbelief she answers without vacillating. It really is freeing being strangers. "My father wasn't lying." She licks her drying lips. "I can't speak for how I felt in the past... I guess I must have been in love with you, if daddy said it..." she shrugs "... who knows. It went the way of my memories. But I know I'm possibly falling for you now..."
And her words are cut off by the exquisite pressure of Clark's lips on hers. She lets out a relieved breath into his mouth as it opens above hers, seeking and accepting entry of her tongue; the kiss deepens almost immediately. Yeah... she could love him forever.
They kiss sweetly, languorously, lovingly for a long moment, until she pulls back, not only to catch the breath Clark stole with his oral explorations but also remembering the dining room full of people waiting their return.
"I love you too Chloe." Clark breathes, his eyes boring intensely into hers.
"I think I knew that." She whispers. "That's why I have to go for a little while. I don't want my feelings to be an influence, they may already be... but I think it will be easier with distance." She shrugs again. "Who knows, but I gotta try right."
"I don't want you to go." He chokes, closing his eyes, hoping to stave off the flood of blind-siding emotions.
"I'll come back." She assures.
Opening his eyes, needing to see through to the truth within hers, he has to be sure. "You promise."
She nods lightly, never breaking her focus. "I'll always come back Clark." She pulls him into a vice like huge. "I'll always come back." She could never stay away from him.
---
Christmas began as a listless day. The apprehension and anxiety of her coming departure hung over the Kent farm like an ominous cloud. Clark rarely smiled, barely even spoke. And Chloe tried to ignore his sadness and focus on her first Christmas with the men she loves most. Though she knows, it's probably the 8th or 9th Christmas she's shared with Clark, it's like the first for her. She hates that she can't remember their past, can't give him the solace and comfort only held in her memory, but she's open to making new ones and unfortunately that's all she has to offer him.
After a too quiet and, she must say, quite depressing breakfast at which she had to kick Clark under the table to get him out of his stupor - she doesn't think she kicked him very hard, but damn if her foot doesn't hurt - and force conversation not only with him, but with her father who was admittedly still angry about her marriage, she can't really blame him. They finally sat down to open gifts.
She didn't know what to get Clark. Even after a thorough search of his closet and drawers she didn't really get a sense of what he liked. There were some astronomy books with layers of dust coating them along with a dismantled telescope she found indicating his fascination with the universe... a rather old fascination she gathered. Then there was his clothing palette which not surprising seems to show a unwavering love for primary colors. She felt it was hopeless, until going through the trunk in the barns destroyed loft, she came upon pages and pages of odd symbols, some she recognized as Native American, others not so much, however it was then that she was struck with an idea of what to give him.
Chloe hands Clark the box, and notes with an embarrassed flush, the massive size of his hand that accepts her gift, the length and girth of his fingers and the care with which he unwraps his gift. Imagining his large and gentle hands on her body, anywhere, everywhere, has Chloe shifting uncomfortably on the sofa. She notices Clark intake a deep breath, glance at her and fights a smile. But then he stops, eyes wide, he peers down silently at the gift she gave him.
She can't tell whether his response is a good or a bad. Feeling the need to explain, she begins to ramble nervously. "I didn't really know what to get you. I couldn't remember what you liked." Gabe looks over at the gift curiously. What's so special about a bracelet... men don't really wear those things anyway. Chloe continues, idly picking at her cuticles, a nervous habit. "And... and I went through your thing's. Sorry, but I just didn't know. Anyway I found that symbol..." She points to the diamond shaped symbol in the engraved in the middle. "... and it just... it... spoke to me. I had this flash, it was like I saw it before, and I just imagined this on a bracelet, or cuff... so when daddy and I went to Granville Mall I had that octagonal symbol engraved on the silver cuff. I don't expect you to wear it..." She laughs nervously. "Actually, it's not for you to wear, it's just something I thought would be cool to have you know and..."
And Clark's lips are on hers, assaulting her mouth furiously, hungrily. Chloe's getting lost, all but drowning in the feel and taste of him and it isn't until she hears from a distant place, the clearing of a throat. It sounds rugged and frustrated, then unfortunately Clark is pulling back, a shy, embarrassed smile spreading across his face. He's blushing she notices right before she remembers her father. There's an amused glint to his eyes, however his words are biting. "You're a married women, tinkerbell and I don't condone adultery." Now she's embarrassed.
Chloe swallows hard and clears her throat. Thanks dad! She almost grumbles, but catches herself. Studying Clark for a moment, she has to ask. "So, you like it?" She hopes he does, she guesses she can judge by his reaction, but would rather hear the words.
"I... I love it." He answers. "I um..." He shakes his head, the embarrassment still clinging strongly to him. He'd completely forgot that Mr. Sullivan was in the room. What is this power she has over him? And how is it that she was able to recreate a Kryptonian bracelet, with the shield of his House. She's amazing, even without full range of her memory. "...I got you something similar actually." She finally managed to get out past his nerves, glad his voice held solid, Clark hands her a small box.
Opening her unwrapped gift, Chloe slowly pulls back a weathered cloth, revealing a similarly designed cuff, though the one she got Clark was solid, this one held intricate engravings surrounding a turquoise stone. "It's beautiful." She breathes. She'd wanted this, when she saw it in his trunk. It spoke to her then... not literally, but more like a deep deep desire. When she saw it, she coveted it. Then immediately felt bad, it wasn't hers to covet. Chloe beams at Clark, throwing herself into his arms. NOW, it was hers. "I love it!"
He pulls back slightly, to gauge her honesty, "Really?" Clark asks uncertainly.
"Yes... really, you doof! OK..." she laughs and breathes deep. "... honesty time. I saw it in the trunk up in the barn the other day and I was kind of thinking of stealing it." She laughs again, gazing at the bracelet in awe. "Thank you so much Clark. I love it, I really do."
He breathes in relief. Gently pulling the bracelet from the withering cloth, he motions for Chloe to hold out her wrist. For some reason, Gabe sits forward as he watches. His attention arrested by the couple in front him.
Clark places the bracelet around her wrist slowly, carefully and with great solemnity.
She doesn't know what's happening, doesn't know why things have turned so serious, all she knows is that inexplicably, this moment is weighted. There's an air of great importance around them and if she wasn't solely focused on Clark's green eyes, she's pretty certain she'd be drowning from the onslaught of pressure.
She glances down at her wrist once Clark releases her and looks back to him. Moving in to kiss him, she has to kiss him. She's unsure, but knows a deal has been made. A deal that can only be sealed with his lips on hers. Yet her father's voice halts her, a breathe away from her mark. "No kissing." He barks, rising from the lounger. "At least let me leave the room first." He grumbles, stalking into the kitchen.
And finally she breathes because he's kissing her. The world can keep spinning and she hopes and prays she'll never forget this Christmas with Clark.
---
Two days after their Christmas together; her meager belongings are all packed and she's ready to leave. Ready physically but not emotionally. Her father's waiting in the car. Oliver had a driver come to pick them up, this time they get the jet. Having billionaires for friends is pretty nice. They're standing on the porch, attempting to act like they don't have an audience. No kissing, she reminds herself as she holds onto Clark as if he's a life line and it doesn't escape her that he's doing the same.
"I'll come back Clark." She says, placing a lingering kiss on his cheek, she pulls back and looks up at him, ignoring the mistiness of his eyes. "And you can always visit me you know. I'm sure it will only take you a few minutes to get there." She winks. Her way of letting him know, she knows and doesn't care.
Clark breathes and smiles slightly. "More like a couple seconds." He ripostes and is rewarded by the widening of Chloe's shocked eyes. He laughs at her obvious incredulity. "I promise I'll tell you."
She nods, poking him in his side in jest. "I'll hold you to that Kent. And I look forward to hearing it... to getting to know you again." She concludes seriously. Grabbing his hand she kisses his palm lightly. A beat passes, she stares at the longing and need, the silent plea in his eyes but turns from him. "I'll be seeing you. Call me." She throws over her shoulder. Once at the car, she looks back, "I'll come back Clark I promise. It's not the end, just a new beginning. I go now but I take you with me..."
And so the beginning ends.
From: butifulyletdown
Request: Chlark baby,first Christmas, Gabe in the story and no death
Type: Fic
Title: All Beginnings Change
Rating: FRT
Warning: none
Summary: Is it possible to begin again? I suck at summaries so...
A/N: This is a tag to Bride and Legion. No Dooms/Davis and no attack on wedding. I had this idea immediately after seeing your request. It's probably not what you had in mind, but I do hope you like it. And Happy New Year
"I go and I take you with me."
He remembers her, him... it saying that. She'd stopped thrashing against their restraint, stopped her violent struggles and attempts to fight back. Brainiac gave in to his defeat, but not before he'd stilled her body and looked Clark directly in his concerned eyes. Her eyes, dark and void of life... void of humanity, twisted her pale face with a scornful grin, a wicked smirk. "We've both lost Kal-El." It said and the hint of amusement intoned in her words could not be overlooked. "But, I'll finish the work you've began. I go and I take you with me." Her devilish grin widening in triumph at the confusion displayed openly on Clark's face.
If he only knew, Clark muses. That was almost five days ago. Clark was able, with the help of the Legion, to exorcize Brainiac from Chloe's body. As it said, it went, much to all of their relief, but with it; the alien super computer took him. Brainiac, in it's last act of destruction and anarchy, took with it Chloe's memory. And not just wiped her mind clean, but pointedly erased any memory and all knowledge of her life and friendship with Clark Kent. Where Clark erased her knowledge of his Kryptonian lineage, Brainiac erased him completely. "I'll finish the work you've began." It had said. For five days it's last words haunted him with a skeptical look; tore at him with a hesitant approach; destroyed him with her uncertain conversations. Chloe regards him as a stranger and the pain Clark feels sometimes is inexplicably unbearable.
She doesn't know him any more. And he doesn't know if it can ever be fixed.
Chloe really wishes he would stop. Shifting uncomfortably in her chair at the Kent's dining room table, Chloe chanced a quick glance up. And yup, she sighed, returning her focus to the untouched meal in front of her; he was still staring at her. Constantly, she can feel the weight of his gaze on her. Clark's eyes, filled with so much longing, so much sadness, so much expectation... it's driving her a bit insane.
Usually or normally, she's pretty certain she'd be flattered by the attention he's showing her. Clark is an unbelievably attractive guy and the way he looks at her as if she is his whole world... well, it's humbling. His unguarded eyes reflecting so much love, so much hope. Yeah, Chloe is definite, if the circumstances were different they most likely wouldn't be sitting awkwardly across from each other right now, searching for suitable conversation.
Maybe if she remembered him but then again, she saw the way Clark and Lana the cheerleader regarded each other... so maybe not. She remembers the princess from high school, although she's not sure why they became friends; best friends Lana said. How? Was all Chloe could think. There's not much about the willowy brunette that Chloe ever liked in high school... it had to have been because of the man sitting across from her. Chloe sighs again quietly, her gaze unfocused on the plate in front of her as she absently moves the food from one side to the other. She doesn't remember much of anything from the last few months. And even worse, her high school years are all a blur. There are things she can recall with HD clarity, yet those moments are disconnected from the next. Clark said that they were best friends for almost 9 years and that whatever it was that attacked her took all memory of him. Chloe guesses it makes sense. There are so many inconsistencies, so many gaping wounds in her time line, that can only be filled with Clark.
Unconsciously, she raises her head and stares blindly across from her, not noticing when Clark unwaveringly meets her gaze. She's not sure why but she trusts him. There's something about this farm boy, outside of his amazing beauty and unbelievably gorgeous physique. There's just something more she can see under the surface. A power, some strength and confidence, something so endearing... yeah, she trusts him. Best friends for 9 years. She has to wonder if they were ever more, if they ever dated. Chloe can't possibly conceive being so close to him for so long and not being with him romantically. Hell, she's having a hard time now as it is and she doesn't even know him. The way he watches her, the way he touches her, his earnestness and gentleness, his care. She had to have been in love with him. Even now, to her own chagrin, Chloe can see herself so easily falling in love with this man. Shrugging, she returns her eyes to her plate and figures she must be easy.
"What time is your father getting in?" Clark's soft hesitant words drift across the table, startling her out of her musings. She doesn't miss the small tremor in his voice. She really hates that he's hurting, but what can she do. She just doesn't remember.
Chloe glances up at him, "Tomorrow morning. We're going Christmas Eve shopping in Granville together." And she must say, it's a relief to be able to be around someone familiar. It was decided after the exorcism, she guesses it was an exorcism, that she would stay on the farm with Clark. Apparently, a lot of things occurred in the months she can't recall. For one, she's married. Married? Married at 21. To Jimmy Olsen, she snorts to herself. How could she marry someone like Jimmy Olsen? That's another part of her memory that's fuzzy, unfocused and disconnected from her logic. Yes, she dated him, she remembers that clearly... why she dated him seriously, she can't understand. Frankly, he just isn't her type. Sure, he's cute in a cuddly sort of way, and incredibly geeky and loads of fun. But for their relationship to progress towards marriage? Chloe can't see it. It's really nonsensical. It must have been whatever, whoever possessed her. It had to have been. In any case, it was suggested and then agreed upon that for the time being she'd stay away from Jimmy... and Lois, until she gets her bearings.
Her cousin Lois, apparently now works at her dream job, the Daily Planet, sitting across from Clark. Chloe can't help but be a little intrigued about how that partnership is coming along; she smiles wryly. She doesn't know Clark well, but she knows her cousin... yeah it must be hell for them both. Chloe kind of pities Clark. Or she would if he wasn't working at the Planet as well, when she herself had been fired. And what was that about... "...So many holes." Chloe grumbles quietly.
"What was that?" He startles her. Chloe hadn't realized she'd spaced out again.
Smiling ruefully, she shakes her head. "It's nothing... it's..." Trailing off, Chloe stares at him quizzically, then decides against denial. If she's going to see her way through, get back the truth, she'll have to be honest. "Actually, I said, there are so many holes... in my memory." She says clearly, pointedly. "There are things I remember so clearly... but then others..." She shrugs. "... blanks."
And she notes the contrition clouding his green eyes once again as his shoulders slump in defeat. It's as if, the world tumbled down on him in that one minute and the weight is unbearable. God, she wishes he would stop.
"It's not your fault Clark." She says softly, hoping her words will ease some of his obvious burden.
"We'll find a way to get everything back Chloe... I promise." He answers eagerly.
Chloe nods, "I know you'll try, we'll try... But even if we don't, remember it's not your fault. I don't want you moping forever about this."
"Yes it is... it's my fault. " He says downtrodden. "I couldn't protect you. I should have..." His voice chokes and he clears his throat. "It was my job to protect you." His gaze locks on hers. "You always said, I was your hero and I... I failed you."
Chloe rises abruptly from her chair and closes the distance between them. Sitting in the chair next to him, she reaches for his hand then hesitates... is touching allowed? All of her actions of late are hedged, reluctant and uncertain and it kills him. Clark takes the initiative and clasps her delicate hand with his own.
She breathes out, the heat from his body, the electric current rushing through her from such simple contact with him. The quivering she feels in her body when his thumb absently caresses her palm... is he sure that they were just best friends. This, she'd never felt while with Jimmy. Why did she marry him?
She clears her throat. Not wanting to reveal her desires or how much his attention affects her. Although, she's pretty sure her cheeks are flushed a little, she can't help it, Clark is extremely sexy and being this close to him, having him touch her, it's a bit unnerving.
Trying to clear her thoughts and get back on topic, she attempts to focus on the sadness in his eyes, the defeat wrought within and not the depth and sincerity of love and longing accompanying.
"Clark..." Nervously, she tucks her hair behind her ear with her free hand and tries again. "Clark, this has to stop. I don't remember, and it's frustrating and maddening and I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." He's quick to interject with a vehement shake of his head.
"Not saying it is Kent. What I mean is, I'm sorry that it's causing you pain. But it's not your fault either. And we have to get through it. In no way am I giving up... but right now, it is what it is. You've said that we're best friends, been best friends for awhile right?"
Clark nods and she presses on. "So what would I say to you in this situation?"
His grin is small and almost reverent, "You'd say something snarky about my ability to beat myself up; to get over it and to just work the problem in front of me."
She smiles widely. "Great advise. Much better than perfecting your moping technique."
"I'm not moping." He defends instantly, and the pout forming on his lips is so adorable, Chloe has to struggle hard not to catch his plump bottom lip between her teeth; she settles for nibbling on her own, which unknown to her does Clark no favors.
"You seem the type Kent. I can see your brood coming a mile away." She says in effort to deflect her naughty thoughts. What's the matter with her, she doesn't even know this man! Sighing, Chloe glances away briefly before turning back to him. "We may have to accept that I may never remember you Clark." She rushes on cutting off his objection. "And I hate it. There are massive chunks of my life that's just so damn spotty." She clenches her eyes shut in frustration. "But we'll deal and try to make new memories." Opening her eyes, she silently begs him to accede... she's not sure how much longer she can deal with the unspoken pressure. "Please Clark. This is me now and I'm not averse to learning about our past together; but the expectation is too much..." She squeezes his hand affectionately. "Please?"
Clark swallows hard. The desperate plea in her eyes, in her words is his undoing. He wants his Chloe back, wants them back with a ferocious all encompassing need he never knew existed in him. God he just wants Chloe... in anyway. He concedes mutely with a nod.
And without premeditation or warning, pulls the tiny blonde into his arms and drowns her in his enfold. Surprised but not complaining, Chloe melts into his embrace. Yeah, she could so easily fall in love with him. While clutching at him, she has to wonder if she already is.
---
Christmas Eve morning brought with it a flurry of snow fall and mayhem in the Kent kitchen. They'd decided last night before retreating to a night of restless uneasy sleep that a big Christmas Eve dinner was in order. Problem was... neither were much into the culinary arts. Chloe assumed he knew this about her and having that knowledge, thought Clark could handle it without much assistance. She was wrong.
Chloe laughed heartily at the confused frown mapping lines across Clark's face. "Geez Clark, you're worse than I am."
"Am not!" he pouted while staring forlornly at the turkey on the counter. "How hard could it be to baste a turkey and bake it?" His confident words clearly contradicting the skeptical look he adorns.
At the kitchen island, Chloe chops the vegetables and whispers absentmindedly, "Probably as hard as it is to find a 15 pound turkey on Christmas Eve." That has been bothering her all morning. She knows for a fact that the shops are closed today in Smallville. She knows because she called around yesterday in preparation for spending the day with her father; hence the need to go to Granville Mall. She knows this and yet Clark left early this morning and brought back a rather large turkey with all the fixings in under 30 mins. And that's not the only weird thing she's noticed in the past week.
Clark doesn't drive to Metropolis. He purposefully doesn't drive to work, wanting her to have the ability to travel freely and leaves the truck at her disposal. She knows there's more to his decision than his considerable charity. She knows he wants her to see. See the truth. He hasn't come out and said it, but she's pretty sure he may be meteor infected... he can probably teleport. She thinks she knew a girl in high school that could teleport, she thinks that girl may have died. Either way, Chloe doesn't bring it up. She figures when he's ready to reveal his status to her, he will, it's enough that he's comfortable enough to be himself. She's still trying to figure out the lines of their friendship for herself and is immensely thankful that Clark is wise enough to just be... without the added pressure.
"Um..." Clark glances over his shoulder. "... Do you want to know?" And the unmistakable trepidation intoned in his voice has her shaking her head in the negative.
"When you're ready." She smiles, cutting into a tomato when Clark breathes deep. She can tell he's preparing himself to say something, most likely something heavy. She can also tell that he's not ready to share it. She's not sure how or even when, but she's gotten pretty proficient at reading him. For someone who lies A LOT and Clark lies a ton... there is something so very honest in his regard with her. It's as if he wants her to see him. Chloe smiles appreciatively to herself. She doesn't know what they used to have but she is grateful for what they have now.
She changes the subject, once he makes a tentative approach to the island counter. He seems skittish almost childlike in his hesitance. If she didn't know there was something important he was holding back, she's sure she'd be in stitches. Laughing at the ridiculousnes of this giant of a man frightened of a conversation. "So how is it, that my dad acquired a helicopter from Metropolis International airport to Smallville? Seems pretty grand and daddy wouldn't tell me anything on the phone."
The visible relief in Clark's posture evokes a satisfied smile in her, however she didn't miss the hint of disappointment in his eyes.
"Uh.." He clears his throat. "Oliver Queen."
"Excuse me!" Chloe gapes. "The billionaire, Oliver Queen?"
"Yeah." Clark shrugs dismissively. "He offered." He says by way of explanation.
"Oh." Chloe nods feigning nonchalance. That explains it. "So you, my humble farm boy, have billionaires offering helicopter rides often?"
Clark smiles, self-deprecatingly. "Well, it would have been the jet, but your father already bought his plane ticket and refused the refund from Ollie."
"Wha..." Her gaping returns. She is truly speechless. She remembers Lois dated Oliver, but can't quite believe how such a simple man like Clark Kent would become affiliated with Oliver Queen - playboy and globe trotter. Surprising. Yes, she remembers thinking there was more to the sexy Mr. Kent and there definitely is.
Collecting herself, Chloe realizes she's staring open mouthed and shuts her mouth abruptly, turning back to her task of cutting and sorting. She swallows, "Thank him for me, will you?" She finishes quietly.
He nods silently in reply.
Then a dazzlingly wide grin evolves from his solemn expression. Startled by his sudden change, Chloe can only stare bewildered at it's brilliance. Clark really is a gorgeous guy but...
"What? Why?...." She begins only to be cut short by the soothing tones of a voice she'd longed to hear.
"So... I hear my baby girl is having a hard time of it this Christmas."
Chloe whirls around swiftly. "Daddy?" She whispers, breathlessly. Her heart pounding in her chest. God, how she longed to see him. "Daddy!" She squeals running rapidly into the living room toward his outstretched arms. Ready to catch her. Always ready to catch her. She needs his security. Snuggling into his embrace, Chloe sniffs. She's missed him so much, craved him and never realized until now.
Clark looks on, his grin of excitement turning into a wistful smile. He wishes he could be all that Chloe needs but apparently, he isn't enough. Noting the silent nod of gratitude from Gabe, Clark returns it stiffly and chokes back his envy. It's not about him right now. It's about Chloe.
"So tell me tickerbell.." He steps away slightly, so he can look at her flushed face, tears of happiness and relief forming a path down her cheeks, allowing a moment to take her in. "... how have you been?"
"Confused." She answers honestly.
"I've heard." Gabe nods, gazing at her searchingly. "And they haven't caught the psycho who did this to you?"
"Daddy.." she sighs, explanation cut into by Clark's sudden response.
"He's a lot harder to apprehend Mr. Sullivan." He states from his place in the kitchen.
Gabe narrows his eyes at the Kent boy's vague answer. He should be used to it, he knows. Throughout the years of Chloe's friendship with Clark, there have been multiple... too many to count really, unexplainable occurrences and usually he would accept the vague explanation, brush off the awful lies, because his baby girl was safe. That was all that mattered and Gabe knew she had a penchant for running into trouble, chasing a story or following a lead. He tried not to let the mysteries bother him; but not this time. This time, someone invaded his Chloe's mind. Why? Just for kicks he guesses and that bastard, scrambled her brain. He took her memories and Gabe knows it could have been a hell of a lot worse. No... non-answers will not cut it this time.
"And what do you know about it Clark? You promised me you would protect her; that she was safe with you. How could you let this happen?" His voice unintentionally rising in his exclamation.
Clark folded into himself at the older man's outburst. How could he let this happen?
"Daddy!" Chloe scolded. "This is not Clark's fault. God, I just got him to stop blaming himself. Shit happens and it did." She tells him. "Please daddy."
Gabe nods. "I'm sorry baby." Looking over to the stricken boy... boy? He snorts to himself, the gangly Clark Kent has turned into a mack truck. Studying the abject defeat in his posture and desolation clearly revealed in Clark's eyes, Gabe berates himself for his careless accusations. He should have remembered how guilt ridden the youngest Kent could be. He always reacted as if the world and all it's ravages were his own doing, especially in Smallville. In their younger days, the amount of responsibility the boy put on himself, one would think Clark created every beast and mutant with his own hand. He was always flogging himself after an attack or mutant related case the kids were working on. Even worse when Chloe wound up hurt. He knew Clark cared for his little girl deeply and wonders fleetingly if Clark ever realized how much.
"I'm sorry Clark." Gabe finally intones.
"It's..." He begins, chokes and then swallows the swell of emotion. "...It's fine. Mr. Sullivan. I should have been able to..."
"STOP IT!" Chloe shouts, startling both her father and Clark. "Just stop it Clark." She glares at him, her eyes shooting sparks. "It is not your fault. And daddy..." She turns to the amused man. "... no more blame."
The older man nods, trying to hold back his smile. His little girl was always good at handling the Kent boy.
"OK, so look..." She continues, now that the self-recriminations were over. "... I planned the whole day for us. First we're going to Granville to shop, we can have lunch there. Smallville is useless during the holidays. And then we'll come back here for Christmas Eve dinner." The excitement in her voice and the gleeful energy in her tiny body causes both men to grin stupidly along with her. Chloe turns back to Clark, pinning him with a stern look. "Clark about dinner preparations..." she indicates the chaotic kitchen with a nod of her head. "...call your mother."
He has to laugh at her serious, morose expression. "Chloe..." Clark whines while casting a fretful glance at the enormous turkey.
"I'm serious Kent." She orders flippantly, grabbing her coat off of the rack by the back door. "We'll be back by 5 the latest." She gives his forearm a brief squeeze in parting and fights to keep herself from kissing his cheek. The domesticity must be getting to her. With a shake of her head, chiding herself for her developing feelings, Chloe clasps her hand around her father's and pulls him out of the door.
---
They spend the day catching up. Chloe pulling her reluctant father from one store to the next. She has to admit that she's grateful at the ease with which she can speak to her father. That lack of pressure in regard to asking him questions about her past. It's not that Clark discourages it, it's actually the opposite, but she can't help feeling like she's letting him down when she asks things she should obviously know about him or them. And finding a gift that he may like is another problem. Truth is, she just doesn't know.
It's while sharing lunch with her father at a small bistro, that he fills her in on some of what she's missing. Like when he lost his job at the Smallville plant and why he had to move all the way to Fawcett City to find a company that would hire him. His answer horrifies her. Chloe knows he didn't tell her to make her feel bad, it's the facts plain and simple... but that's just it. It's merely the facts, there is no intent, no reason, no knowledge of motivations or feelings. Her father can just supply the outcome, the cause and effect. Maybe Clark can offer the reasons.
It's also at lunch that her father suggests she come back to Fawcett City with him, at least until she decides what she wants to do next, until she can get on her feet again. And Chloe can't deny the offer is tempting, although she knows it would be running away. Leaving all of the questions behind and beginning anew. It's very appealing. She accepts only a moment later with little reluctance. She knows she'll be back in Smallville eventually. Even though she doesn't remember him, she can't imagine leaving Clark for a long stretch time. It's inexplicable and unexpected, but she loves him. She can't deny.
---
Arriving back at the farm, brings the surprise of Lana the cheerleader and unexpectedly her cousin Lois. Chloe glances at Clark over Lois' shoulder curiously, to which he answers with a mere shrug. Chloe hugs her back, just accepting.
Dinner begins smoothly, although awkward and stilted; the silence about stifling, the food turned out pretty well.
Chloe attempts to break the quiet torture. "Surprised you were able to finish the bird Clark. Well done. I see you're a man of many talents.." She winks and smiles at a blushing Clark. Even his embarrassment is adorable. Chloe's grin widens at his reaction. Until across from her, Lana the cheerleader, clears her throat and interjects.
"Actually, Clark called me to help." She laughs lightly, "If it was up to him, he'd use heat vision on.." She cuts herself off abruptly at her slip.
Clark chokes on his mouthful of food and downs half of the wine in his glass. Lois just sulks opposite Gabe, casting lingering glances at both Clark and Lana.
Chloe hadn't failed to see the looks her cousin had been bestowing to an oblivious or intentionally ignorant Clark. Those looks forcing Chloe to speculate exactly what type of partnership they have at the Daily Planet. But what holds her attention are Lana's words... heat vision. She turns questioningly towards Clark. Raising her eye brows incredulously. Heat vision? Again he just shrugs and continues eating. While Gabe just glances around the table at all the youngsters and their naivety.
He's figured them all out and so wished he had Martha there to share in his enjoyment. Kids. He can see so clearly Lois' interest in Clark and also the obviousness in Clark's adoration of his daughter. Lana appears to be the odd one out. Gabe can tell she gets it too. But what bothers him is the jealous glares she doesn't even try to hide at his daughter. Yes, heat vision is right. If Lana had it, his baby girl would be extra crispy.
Chloe clears her throat and focuses her attention on her uncharacteristically quiet cousin. "Lo... something wrong with your food? You've been pretty silent over in your corner."
The tall brunette smiles ruefully. "Just curious..." She begins lowly, then proceeds with more confidence. "Just curious why you've abandoned your husband for the bumbling copy boy." She spits out.
Now Gabe's the one to choke on his food. Chloe pats his back, narrowing her eyes at her cousin and her lack of tact as her father coughs and wheezes. "Husband?" He squawks. "My little girl's married?" He turns his disbelieving eyes from Chloe to glare fire at Clark. "You let my girl get married? To whom?"
Chloe sighs heavily, head bowed in humiliation. "Jimmy." She voices quietly. So quietly, if Gabe weren't sitting next to her, he would have never heard.
"Jimmy!" He shouts out. "Jimmy Olsen? The photographer? That little runt that took your innocence and never called you back?"
Chloe flinches at his apparent angry disbelief. "You knew I was dating him." She says by way of explanation. Why she's explaining something she doesn't even fully understand herself, she has no idea.
"Well yeah," and now Gabe's fuming. "...but I knew it wouldn't last. You knew it wouldn't last tinkerbell; you told me that yourself last year." Gabe shakes his head, what the hell happened here. "I... I don't know what to say. Chloe. How could you marry one man when you're in love with another."
Now Chloe chokes while taking a sip of wine and Clark's eyes are huge along with Lois' while Lana's glare begins to scorch.
Chloe's adamant in her denial and shake of her head. "I am not in love with another man... I'm not and... and... and I'm not in love with him either." She breathes deep, closing her eyes momentarily hoping to bring order to her thoughts. "I don't remember OK." She whispers. "I just don't remember." She turns to her father; close to tears in her frustration. "I can't give you the answer you want, because I just don't know." Pushing herself away from the table she finishes quietly. "Excuse me, I need some air."
She rises and exits the dining room through to the back door.
The table falls into suffocating silence as if Chloe took all the air with her in her departure. Clark slowly turns his eyes to Lois, and the enraged accusation so strongly reflected in them, has Lois flinching back as if physically struck.
"I'll go talk to her." Clark rises smoothly from him place, wasting no time in waiting for acknowledgment from the tables remaining occupants.
Once outside on the porch, Clark doesn't hesitate in wrapping his arms around Chloe from behind, resting his chin on the top of her head, he can feel her body relent to his warmth as she burrows further into his embrace. He really loves this. It's odd how close they've gotten in just a week. He would have never thought a clean slate could bring them this.
"What was that?" She whispers. Her breath leaving little puffs of smoke in the cold air.
"I don't know." He says just as quietly above her.
"God..." She sighs. "That was awful. Why was there so much tension. I thought we were all friends. I thought..."
"I don't know Chloe." Clark squeezes her, pulling her snuggly against his chest. "I thought we all were too."
They're silence is companionable and so easy, just enjoying the heat and feel of each other.
"I've decided to go to Fawcett City with my father." Chloe says hesitantly, unsure of how Clark will take the news. His hold tightens as his body stiffens behind her. She can feel the rapid pace of his heartbeat in her shoulder blade yet Clark remains quiet. "He's leaving in a couple of days and I thought about it. I think it's best that I go with him. Things here are just too complicated for me right now and I need to be able to work them out without complicating things further."
"This is about me?" He asks, but it's not a question. He knows.
"No. It's actually about me Clark. You've been wonderful. Amazing really. But I don't want my feelings to get in the way of recovery you know."
"What?" Clark loosens his hold and steps back. She sighs, she didn't want this to happen either. Sometimes, it's damn hard to be honest.
Turning slowly, Chloe leans against the railing and studying the shocked man in front her. "I don't know. Maybe it's the lack of history or knowledge of our history..." She smiles ruefully. "You know, it can be quite liberating, freeing, not to be held down by past interactions." Chloe shrugs. "Whatever it is, I know I don't know you..."
"You know me best." Clark cuts in and the sincerity and earnestness in his voice has the power to break her. She can feel the tears already building behind her eyes.
"That's just it Clark. I don't know you." She says quietly, then rushes on before Clark can protest. "I don't. But I really really want to. I don't know the dynamics of our past friendship, I don't even know what I felt about you or for you a month ago, two weeks ago even but I know how I feel now. And I don't want to... can't afford to mess things up with unreciprocated feelings."
Peering at her with discernable incredulity, Clark's finding it hard to comprehend. Is she saying what he thinks she's saying? How can she be so open? How can... "What are you saying?" He asks before he can stop himself.
Laughing lightly at his disbelief she answers without vacillating. It really is freeing being strangers. "My father wasn't lying." She licks her drying lips. "I can't speak for how I felt in the past... I guess I must have been in love with you, if daddy said it..." she shrugs "... who knows. It went the way of my memories. But I know I'm possibly falling for you now..."
And her words are cut off by the exquisite pressure of Clark's lips on hers. She lets out a relieved breath into his mouth as it opens above hers, seeking and accepting entry of her tongue; the kiss deepens almost immediately. Yeah... she could love him forever.
They kiss sweetly, languorously, lovingly for a long moment, until she pulls back, not only to catch the breath Clark stole with his oral explorations but also remembering the dining room full of people waiting their return.
"I love you too Chloe." Clark breathes, his eyes boring intensely into hers.
"I think I knew that." She whispers. "That's why I have to go for a little while. I don't want my feelings to be an influence, they may already be... but I think it will be easier with distance." She shrugs again. "Who knows, but I gotta try right."
"I don't want you to go." He chokes, closing his eyes, hoping to stave off the flood of blind-siding emotions.
"I'll come back." She assures.
Opening his eyes, needing to see through to the truth within hers, he has to be sure. "You promise."
She nods lightly, never breaking her focus. "I'll always come back Clark." She pulls him into a vice like huge. "I'll always come back." She could never stay away from him.
---
Christmas began as a listless day. The apprehension and anxiety of her coming departure hung over the Kent farm like an ominous cloud. Clark rarely smiled, barely even spoke. And Chloe tried to ignore his sadness and focus on her first Christmas with the men she loves most. Though she knows, it's probably the 8th or 9th Christmas she's shared with Clark, it's like the first for her. She hates that she can't remember their past, can't give him the solace and comfort only held in her memory, but she's open to making new ones and unfortunately that's all she has to offer him.
After a too quiet and, she must say, quite depressing breakfast at which she had to kick Clark under the table to get him out of his stupor - she doesn't think she kicked him very hard, but damn if her foot doesn't hurt - and force conversation not only with him, but with her father who was admittedly still angry about her marriage, she can't really blame him. They finally sat down to open gifts.
She didn't know what to get Clark. Even after a thorough search of his closet and drawers she didn't really get a sense of what he liked. There were some astronomy books with layers of dust coating them along with a dismantled telescope she found indicating his fascination with the universe... a rather old fascination she gathered. Then there was his clothing palette which not surprising seems to show a unwavering love for primary colors. She felt it was hopeless, until going through the trunk in the barns destroyed loft, she came upon pages and pages of odd symbols, some she recognized as Native American, others not so much, however it was then that she was struck with an idea of what to give him.
Chloe hands Clark the box, and notes with an embarrassed flush, the massive size of his hand that accepts her gift, the length and girth of his fingers and the care with which he unwraps his gift. Imagining his large and gentle hands on her body, anywhere, everywhere, has Chloe shifting uncomfortably on the sofa. She notices Clark intake a deep breath, glance at her and fights a smile. But then he stops, eyes wide, he peers down silently at the gift she gave him.
She can't tell whether his response is a good or a bad. Feeling the need to explain, she begins to ramble nervously. "I didn't really know what to get you. I couldn't remember what you liked." Gabe looks over at the gift curiously. What's so special about a bracelet... men don't really wear those things anyway. Chloe continues, idly picking at her cuticles, a nervous habit. "And... and I went through your thing's. Sorry, but I just didn't know. Anyway I found that symbol..." She points to the diamond shaped symbol in the engraved in the middle. "... and it just... it... spoke to me. I had this flash, it was like I saw it before, and I just imagined this on a bracelet, or cuff... so when daddy and I went to Granville Mall I had that octagonal symbol engraved on the silver cuff. I don't expect you to wear it..." She laughs nervously. "Actually, it's not for you to wear, it's just something I thought would be cool to have you know and..."
And Clark's lips are on hers, assaulting her mouth furiously, hungrily. Chloe's getting lost, all but drowning in the feel and taste of him and it isn't until she hears from a distant place, the clearing of a throat. It sounds rugged and frustrated, then unfortunately Clark is pulling back, a shy, embarrassed smile spreading across his face. He's blushing she notices right before she remembers her father. There's an amused glint to his eyes, however his words are biting. "You're a married women, tinkerbell and I don't condone adultery." Now she's embarrassed.
Chloe swallows hard and clears her throat. Thanks dad! She almost grumbles, but catches herself. Studying Clark for a moment, she has to ask. "So, you like it?" She hopes he does, she guesses she can judge by his reaction, but would rather hear the words.
"I... I love it." He answers. "I um..." He shakes his head, the embarrassment still clinging strongly to him. He'd completely forgot that Mr. Sullivan was in the room. What is this power she has over him? And how is it that she was able to recreate a Kryptonian bracelet, with the shield of his House. She's amazing, even without full range of her memory. "...I got you something similar actually." She finally managed to get out past his nerves, glad his voice held solid, Clark hands her a small box.
Opening her unwrapped gift, Chloe slowly pulls back a weathered cloth, revealing a similarly designed cuff, though the one she got Clark was solid, this one held intricate engravings surrounding a turquoise stone. "It's beautiful." She breathes. She'd wanted this, when she saw it in his trunk. It spoke to her then... not literally, but more like a deep deep desire. When she saw it, she coveted it. Then immediately felt bad, it wasn't hers to covet. Chloe beams at Clark, throwing herself into his arms. NOW, it was hers. "I love it!"
He pulls back slightly, to gauge her honesty, "Really?" Clark asks uncertainly.
"Yes... really, you doof! OK..." she laughs and breathes deep. "... honesty time. I saw it in the trunk up in the barn the other day and I was kind of thinking of stealing it." She laughs again, gazing at the bracelet in awe. "Thank you so much Clark. I love it, I really do."
He breathes in relief. Gently pulling the bracelet from the withering cloth, he motions for Chloe to hold out her wrist. For some reason, Gabe sits forward as he watches. His attention arrested by the couple in front him.
Clark places the bracelet around her wrist slowly, carefully and with great solemnity.
She doesn't know what's happening, doesn't know why things have turned so serious, all she knows is that inexplicably, this moment is weighted. There's an air of great importance around them and if she wasn't solely focused on Clark's green eyes, she's pretty certain she'd be drowning from the onslaught of pressure.
She glances down at her wrist once Clark releases her and looks back to him. Moving in to kiss him, she has to kiss him. She's unsure, but knows a deal has been made. A deal that can only be sealed with his lips on hers. Yet her father's voice halts her, a breathe away from her mark. "No kissing." He barks, rising from the lounger. "At least let me leave the room first." He grumbles, stalking into the kitchen.
And finally she breathes because he's kissing her. The world can keep spinning and she hopes and prays she'll never forget this Christmas with Clark.
---
Two days after their Christmas together; her meager belongings are all packed and she's ready to leave. Ready physically but not emotionally. Her father's waiting in the car. Oliver had a driver come to pick them up, this time they get the jet. Having billionaires for friends is pretty nice. They're standing on the porch, attempting to act like they don't have an audience. No kissing, she reminds herself as she holds onto Clark as if he's a life line and it doesn't escape her that he's doing the same.
"I'll come back Clark." She says, placing a lingering kiss on his cheek, she pulls back and looks up at him, ignoring the mistiness of his eyes. "And you can always visit me you know. I'm sure it will only take you a few minutes to get there." She winks. Her way of letting him know, she knows and doesn't care.
Clark breathes and smiles slightly. "More like a couple seconds." He ripostes and is rewarded by the widening of Chloe's shocked eyes. He laughs at her obvious incredulity. "I promise I'll tell you."
She nods, poking him in his side in jest. "I'll hold you to that Kent. And I look forward to hearing it... to getting to know you again." She concludes seriously. Grabbing his hand she kisses his palm lightly. A beat passes, she stares at the longing and need, the silent plea in his eyes but turns from him. "I'll be seeing you. Call me." She throws over her shoulder. Once at the car, she looks back, "I'll come back Clark I promise. It's not the end, just a new beginning. I go now but I take you with me..."
And so the beginning ends.