"Value." A prompt fic for the abc fanfic challenge
Disclaimer: I wish, but no.
This is another prompt fic for the ABC Fanfic Challenge @ thursdaymornin. It’s not really fluffy or solely MerDer, either. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. :)
They sit back behind the Church next to the cemetery, away from the condolences and the hugs and the coffin of their friend that now sits six feet under the earth. Standing there made the four of them a little claustrophobic. They wanted to grieve alone, together. So they quietly withdrew themselves from the crowd gathered by his gravesite and found a peaceful spot to unwind.
The concrete steps they sat on, however uncomfortable, were a much better alternative to watching George’s mother cry in her remaining sons’ arms. Of course, that’s what the four of them felt like doing-crying-but standing in front of his casket was oddly numbing, like it hadn’t even sunk in that from here on in, it would be the four of them.
After a few minutes of contemplative silence, Meredith is the first to speak. “We were good friends, right?” she asks with bloodshot eyes, her heels sitting beside her. “We were good to him, right?”
Alex nods, his eyes focused on another funeral taking place off in the distance. He hasn’t said much of anything today. Alex didn’t go to funerals, not normally. But this is one he knew he had to attend. Despite their constant sniping, George and Alex were friends, brothers.
“We were,” Izzie says softly. She looks weak and tired, but she had an obligation to George to come today. She knew he’d do the same for her if the situation were reversed.
“We didn’t even know he was gone that day. None of us even looked for him,” Cristina points out, however bluntly.
Meredith drops her head into her hands and sighs. Part of her feels like all of this could have been prevented. Like if someone had noticed, George would be alive. They would be at work right now, the five of them eating lunch in the cafeteria like they did every day.
“His mom asked me what he was doing that day…before he,” Meredith trails off. Saying the word ‘died’ is something she can’t bring herself to do. Not yet. “She wanted to know what his day was like. Was he at least happy. I didn’t know what to tell her. I didn’t know the answer,” she confesses, her voice sounding defeated.
“He told me to fight,” Izzie breathes, a fresh round of tears coming to the surface. “He wanted me to live, so that’s why I had surgery. George probably saved my life that day.” When Alex sees her sobbing next to him, he wraps his arm around her and pulls her to him.
“That girl came. Amanda,” Meredith says. “She was talking to George’s mom.”
“O’Malley saved her life. Of course she came,” Alex adds, rolling a withered flower he found on the steps in his fingers.
Meredith spots Derek off in the distance. He and Owen are hanging back by a tree near the gravesite, enough distance away from where the O’Malley family was gathered, saying their last goodbyes.
He’s been really good these past few days, not that he ever wasn’t, but Meredith knows he’s keeping a brave face on for her sake. Her port in the storm, a shoulder to cry on. She’s cried on his shoulder countless times this week. That was the thing about death; time didn’t stand still while those left behind picked up the pieces. It kept going, kept spinning around them.
When Bailey approaches them, her church program in one hand and a wad full of tissues in the other, none of them even seems to notice. Not because they didn’t care; they just didn’t have the strength.
“Why are the four of you back here?” she asks. Her tone isn’t accusatory. She, too, feels the loss. When she takes a seat next to Meredith on the step, they all feel a little better. Whenever Bailey was around, things somehow felt more hopeful.
“Because it should be five,” Izzie says, wiping her eyes.
Her statement is enough to bring them all to tears again, even Alex and Cristina, however silent they were in their crying. It started with five, it should always be five. Never once did they think one of their own could be taken away. And the reality of that is something they don’t know how to deal with.
Bailey lets out a breath and squeezes Meredith’s hand supportively. “I know.”
“Where’s Tuck?” Cristina asks, looking around for the small boy who’s been at Bailey’s side all day.
“With my husband,” she replies. “I needed a few minutes to myself. When the man you named your son after dies, you need a little time to process that…”
“I’m sorry,” Izzie says softly.
Bailey rolls her program between her hands and nods slowly. “Yeah. Me too.”
Bailey needed to grieve just as they all did. But no matter how much she wanted to break down in front of them, they knew she would keep it together for their sakes. Like a mother who loses a son, but stays strong for her other children.
“George was better at this than we are. The comforting thing,” Meredith says, biting the inside of her cheek to keep her tears at bay. All of the crying coupled with her lack of appetite the past few days has all but drained her completely. Being in Derek’s arms was the only thing that gave her solace lately.
Bailey nods in agreement, kicking off her heels. Right now, she wasn’t their boss; she was one of them. The pain she felt was the same. “On days like this one, you have to remember what you do have. Be thankful for that. Don’t let the pain you’re feeling right now be how you remember him. Just be thankful you were lucky enough to know him when he was alive,” she says softly.
“We should have appreciated him more,” Izzie says regretfully, accepting the tissue Alex hands her.
“No one’s ever appreciated until they’re dead. Circle of life,” Cristina chimes in as she pulls apart a piece of grass.
Meredith looks to Derek again, waiting patiently for her. She appreciated him; that she knew for certain. The past few days have been hard, and he’s been there for her every minute. He even took off from work with her the day after George died. He spent the day on the couch with her, holding her while she sobbed. That’s what love was, and not a second went by where she didn’t appreciate that.
“That’s not how it should be,” Meredith counters. “That’s crap.”
“It’s crap but it’s usually true,” Alex shrugs, tossing the withered flower through the railing.
They all sit in silence for a while, mulling over their mutual thoughts in their minds. The silence is comfortable. They’ve known each other long enough for it not to be awkward. That’s what happened when one-time strangers morphed into a family.
A family missing one of its members.
With this thought, Meredith stands up off the concrete step and exhales slowly. “We should go. George wouldn’t want us hanging out on the back steps of a church like the freaks in high school,” she says. Though she doesn’t mean for it to be funny, it comes across that way and they all smile, however small.
They quietly walk back over to where the others were gathered. Bailey finds her husband and son; Cristina and Owen make their way back to the line of cars, as do Alex and Izzie.
Meredith walks over to Derek and he wraps his arms around her. “Did you want to go?” he asks into her hair.
She nods, taking a moment to breathe him in before pulling back. “Yeah.”
“Okay.” He takes her hand and they respectfully say their goodbyes to the O’Malley family still clustered about the small plot of land where George was now buried, then make the short walk back to the car.
Meredith glances back one more time at the gravesite before slipping into the passenger seat. “Home?” Derek asks.
“No,” she says, dropping her heels onto the floor of the car. “Because I love you. And I don’t want to ever have to stand at your grave and wish I’d appreciated you more when you were alive. So, no. Not home. City Hall is twenty minutes away. Let’s just do it. For George’s sake.”
Derek purses his lips and nods slowly. She doesn’t have to say anything more for him to understand what she means. “Okay,” he concurs, kissing her temple. “Let’s go.”
The value of life isn’t something that’s easy to understand until it’s taken away. George was the one that got them to realize it.