each of the last four lines got me in the feels! 🥺
the image of wrapping words like a gift! 🥰
the "more than a creaking bed spring" line, ow!!! (like his words are an inconsequential but annoying noise that ruins the mood during sex 😭)
and "Dead Sea", clever!
and yes, as romantic and exciting as Spike's bottomless devotion is, I like the way the "till then" seems to remind that actually a relationship of equals is what he'd prefer (but can't have yet). but he's giving Buffy time to figure it out, and in the meantime, devotion. swoon.
As others have said, the theme of struggling to communicate is such a good fit for Spike and s6 Spuffy. I like that you extend this from Spike's "bloody awful poet" background to point out that his track record of using his words in speaking is also hit and miss, especially when it comes to Buffy. It makes me think of his apology (?) rehearsals with the mannequin, a process much like scribbling and crumpling up drafts.
It's definitely with you as inspiration that I was bold enough to try a structured poetic form, so I'm glad you enjoyed it! (I'm so happy that online rhyming dictionaries exist, otherwise I would have really struggled.)
I'm pleased that you specifically call out the last four lines, because for me that was when I felt like the poem came together, and I felt best about what I was writing.
And good catch about the mannequin rehearsal scene, that was actually part of my original attempted ficlet that I used as inspiration for the poem!
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Haha, he really is.
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I'm happy that you enjoyed it despite not being a big poetry person! Thanks for the comment <3
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That was absolutely lovely! I really enjoyed it and it really showed us the "poet Spike". Thank you!
BTW... I cross-posted this on DW
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Thanks for the cross-post! I was originally going to post on DW, but I was having some issues with the editor.
Happy to hear that you liked it and that it seemed to capture Spike the poet!
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Thank you so much for your kind words!
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Eeee, you made rhymes! :D
each of the last four lines got me in the feels! 🥺
the image of wrapping words like a gift! 🥰
the "more than a creaking bed spring" line, ow!!! (like his words are an inconsequential but annoying noise that ruins the mood during sex 😭)
and "Dead Sea", clever!
and yes, as romantic and exciting as Spike's bottomless devotion is, I like the way the "till then" seems to remind that actually a relationship of equals is what he'd prefer (but can't have yet). but he's giving Buffy time to figure it out, and in the meantime, devotion. swoon.
As others have said, the theme of struggling to communicate is such a good fit for Spike and s6 Spuffy. I like that you extend this from Spike's "bloody awful poet" background to point out that his track record of using his words in speaking is also hit and miss, especially when it comes to Buffy. It makes me think of his apology (?) rehearsals with the mannequin, a process much like scribbling and crumpling up drafts.
In conclusion, very nice
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It's definitely with you as inspiration that I was bold enough to try a structured poetic form, so I'm glad you enjoyed it! (I'm so happy that online rhyming dictionaries exist, otherwise I would have really struggled.)
I'm pleased that you specifically call out the last four lines, because for me that was when I felt like the poem came together, and I felt best about what I was writing.
And good catch about the mannequin rehearsal scene, that was actually part of my original attempted ficlet that I used as inspiration for the poem!
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