TITLE: A Compendium of Buffy and Spike
AUTHOR: Cindy (
cindergal)
SUMMARY: Spike and Buffy from A to Z
RATING: PG13
DISCLAIMER: The characters aren't mine, but Joss said I could play with them.
A/N: The format for this fic borrowed from
musesfool's
A Lexicon of Faith and Loss which is a lovely fic in the HP fandom.
A/N 2: This takes place in a post-NFA future where Spike and Buffy are together
Hello all! Sorry for the delay, but it is still October 9th in my time zone. :-) I have something a little different for you today. I hope you enjoy it.
A is for Angel, the vampire who has so greatly influenced both their lives. Angel may be family, but Spike still blames him for many, many things, and nothing more than the way he abandoned Buffy and broke her heart. Still, in recent years he's developed a grudging respect for the old man. Only under force would he admit to a certain amount of affection, as well.
B is for Buffy, the sun that Spike's world revolves around. From the moment he first saw her, he knew she was something special, and she would unknowingly set him on path which he could never, ever have imagined for himself. The journey has been at times depressing, humiliating, and excruciatingly painful. It’s also been joyful and amazing. And it’s all been worth it.
C is for Chip. Intellectually, Spike realizes that he would never have ended up with Buffy if the Initiative hadn’t shoved that little piece of plastic into his brain, so he supposes he should be grateful to them. He isn’t.
D is for Death, a part of their daily lives. It’s what they do; they can’t get away from it. Spike once told Buffy that she was a little bit in love with it, and after her resurrection he knew she wanted to die and was terrified she would. But he’s sure now that she wants to live. He sees it in the way she fights and in the way she loves. They both know that any day could be the last for either one of them. Though they try not to dwell on it, they still try to live each day as if it could be their last. Most people, he knows, don't have that attitude, and he thinks that makes them rather lucky.
E is for Effortless, which is what Buffy seems to be when she fights. He knows she trains hard, but when she’s in the middle of a battle, she’s all instinct, sinewy limbs and dazzling moves. He was impressed the first time he saw her in that alley, and she’s just gotten better with time.
F is for Forgiveness, and Buffy is the most forgiving person he's ever known. It amazes Spike, the things she’s forgiven not just him, but her friends and family for. It’s why he can’t begrudge the fact that she’s forgiven Giles for trying to off him, when she’s forgiven Spike so much more.
G is for Giles. Spike’s issues with the watcher are well known (and totally justified), but Giles is the closest thing to a father that Buffy’s had since her own dad buggered off, and she loves him. And Spike has to acknowledge the fact that that Giles loves Buffy, too. It’s for those reasons that, while he’s never really forgiven the man as Buffy has, he accepts him as part of their lives.
H is for Hellmouth, where it all began. Spike first brought Drusilla there to cure her, and he ended up sacrificing himself there to save the world. The whole things still seems bloody unreal to him sometimes.
I is for Invitation. When Buffy invited him back into her house the night they faced Glory, it was the proudest moment of his life, human or vampire. He spent one hundred and forty seven days plus trying to live up to the faith she placed in him that night.
J is for Joyce. You have to respect a woman who’ll stand up to a vampire in full game face, so she had Spike’s admiration from the moment she threatened him with an axe. He learned to love her for her kindness to him, and because of the wonderful girls she raised.
K is for Kissing. Whether sweet and gentle, hot and desperate, or slow and deep (his favorite), they are two very physical people, and kissing is one of the important ways they connect. Buffy still isn’t exactly wordy when it comes to her emotions, but he can tell what she’s feeling from the pressure of her lips on his, the feel of her hands on his skin, the look in her eyes. It’s the way they say I love you, I missed you, I was worried about you.
L is for Love. The first time Buffy said she loved him, Spike didn't believe her. The second time she told him, he did. Of course, she’d threatened to stake him if he didn’t. Still, he’s been living off that high ever since.
M is for Monster and M is for Man. Spike is a little bit of both, and is glad Buffy loves that about him.
N is for Nibblet. At first he considered her a mild annoyance he had to tolerate because she was Buffy’s sister. Soon enough, he came to love her and appreciate Dawn for herself. She was his only friend for a very long time, and if he hadn’t felt a responsibility - no, a need - to protect her, he might have done himself in when Buffy died. He buggered things up with Dawn so badly after Buffy came back that he didn’t think they’d ever be the same again. Now that they’re approaching something close to what they used to be, he considers their time together precious. He won’t take her for granted again.
O is for Older, which Buffy is getting and he isn’t. They try not to think about that too much. And as they both understand, it’s certainly better than the alternative.
P is for Patience, something which Spike has a rather spectacular lack of. Except when it comes to Buffy, she likes to point out to him.
Q is for Quaint, which is what Buffy thinks his Victorian upbringing is. It’s a tad embarrassing, but her teasing is gentle. The fact that he’s finally comfortable enough to be honest with her about that part of his past feels really good.
R is for Resurrection. Her friends brought her back, but that act changed the two of them forever. He has many regrets about the way he handled things, but Buffy has told him that for all his mistakes, he was one of the reasons she survived those dark days. For that, he is grateful.
S could be for Sex, the intense physical attraction that first brought them together. It could be for Slayer, the mission that Buffy refuses to be defined by. And it could be for Spike, the vampire persona he created, with a lust for blood and violence and a poet’s heart that he couldn’t rid himself of no matter how hard he tried. But no, S is for Soul, which Spike fought to win so he could be the kind of man Buffy deserves. Sometimes he even thinks he is.
T is for Temper, and they both have one. His is a flash fire, quick to ignite and over before you know it. Hers is icy cold, and that deep freeze can last for hours. On the plus side, at least they’re never bored.
U is for Unequal, which is what their relationship has always been, to some extent; it’s his fault as much as hers. They both know that has to change if they’re going to make a go of it. They’re working on it.
V is for Violence, which has always been a part of Spike and Buffy's relationship. Instead of beating on each other, now they've learned to take things out on unsuspecting vamps and demons. Mostly. But a sparring match still turns both of them on, and they like it when things get a bit rough every now and then.
W is for William, the part of himself that Spike was always ashamed of, but whom he has learned to appreciate. William was a decent sort, a good man. Spike accepts that now, embraces it even.
X is for Xander, who Spike has both hated and been hated by - and both for good reason, probably. Again, he made nice because of Buffy, but no one was more surprised when they became friends, except for, perhaps, Xander. But Spike still calls him Harris.
Y is for Yes, which is what Spike said when Buffy asked him to move in. He did not whoop or holler or scream with the joy he was feeling on the inside. He just smiled and said yes, and she nodded and said 'good.' And then they shagged like rabbits for the rest of the afternoon.
Z is for Zoo, which is what their home is, most of the time. Overrun with slayers, visiting friends, Dawn and her mates who seem to always be on vacation from university. He growls about it a lot, but the truth is, he loves it. Loves the noise and the energy and the way all those people bustling about make Buffy smile. And after all, time alone with Buffy is always only a closed door away.
~end~