A facebook moment that froze time

[sealwhiskers]

I came home after a long (but good day) and did some internetzing just to wind down, and then I guess I made the mistake of logging on to faceboob. (which I don't check into that terribly often, maybe a few times a week or so). You know how faceboob makes "friend suggestions" for you periodically...well today was epic

Comments

[airiefairie]

I am very wary of mixing private life with online acquaintances, especially with people I barely know, or people I know would harm me IRL. I have had run-ins with RL e-stalkers before and it is not nice.

[sealwhiskers]

Stalkers, viruses, trojans and just plain asshats plague fb really badly. I changed my name there to an alias a couple of months ago, and at least feel safe that I can't be searched on the net under my real name.

[airiefairie]

I stopped posting personal pictures because of events related to stalkers. It happens on LJ too...

[sealwhiskers]

Absolutely. I have a friend here on LJ who had a very creepy stalker who somehow got hold of her real name, even through the aliases of LJ, so no place is completely safe. I just think it's much more common in the type of networking culture that fb created in the last handful of years.

[gale_storm]

Wow, that sounds like one heck of a nudge from the cosmos.

There is one more reason on the list of why I refer to the place as Arsebook.

[ddstory]

Icon win! :)

[sealwhiskers]

Yeah. It was creepy, and they were there, right next to another, the rapist and the girl who went behind my back and lied to my face. I hadn't thought about them for years. I tell you, only facebook can serve up surprises quite like that. If someone would have asked me 8 years ago if something like this was possible, I'd say they were shitting me. The internet really truly has changed.

[creactivity]

This happens because people you know are still friendly with them. It's more a "you might know these people because people you already know have them friended." In which case, it's not FB that's the problem, it's the people you already have friended and keep in your life.

[blue_mangos]

This is why I didn't fill out any identifying info in the profile, I don't want people I cut out of my life for a reason coming back to me.

I'm sorry these bad memories were brought up for you, especially on a day that already included some drama. I'm glad there's a sense of relief for you on that front at least.

[sealwhiskers]

Just so you don't think it's worse than it was - I didn't get any friending invites from them, merely random perky "suggestions" of "people I may be friends with and may want to add" from facebook (they go on people who know someone you know)
Still, it made me blink, I hadn't thought of either one of them in years.

Otherwise it was a truly good day. Lots of stuff done, lots of real love and, as mentioned, a slight weight off my chest. :)

[chocolatebark]

Ugh.

This recent article is kind of related, though it has some triggers in it

[sealwhiskers]

Stories like that, I don't know why it feels like most people have one, either they heard it, or they lived it. On fb, behind the scenes, you hear stories of bullies, abusers of all kinds and flavors, coming back to haunt people. This woman was empowered or whatever, but most feel they have to keep quiet. And yeah..this guy also is married and has a family. People don't know, they have barbecues with him, and some know and still hang out with him.

I don't know how to handle that shit, I can just assume that some are better at compartmentalizing than others.

[abomvubuso]

Yet another reason to never ever touch FB even from a mile.

[sealwhiskers]

Probably for the best. I haven't gotten many new friends from fb either, like I have here and other places.