5. Where the dead people are
Owen's List, re-revisited.
[
12. In the mortuary.
5. Kissing.
11. Handcuffs.
]
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Jack, but-”
“Is there a right way? Really?”
“Alright, you may have a point there.”
“May, he says, may have a point there, well that’s very helpful Ianto, but it’s not getting me uncuffed now is it?”
“Talking to yourself Jack?” Ianto says, smoothing Jack’s collar, which, Jack would like to point out, he wouldn’t have to, if he took these damn cuffs off.
“Only because there’s no other intelligent life in reach,” Jack says, imagining Owen bludgeoning Ianto with a heart monitor.
Ianto rolls his eyes, balancing on his toes in a crouch over Jack’s legs, “insulting me isn’t going to get you free any sooner.”
“Where is Gwen,” Jack says, “and why isn’t she rescuing me?”
“Oh, Gwen and I… have reached an agreement, rather favorable for both sides, in fact.”
“I am going to hurt you,” Jack says, “I am going to crush you like a… a pineapple? A walnut?”
“Unfortunately for you,” Ianto says, “crushing requires hands, and yours are currently otherwise occupied.”
Jack narrows his eyes, “remember Ianto, I’m going to live forever. Believe me when I say somewhere along the line, I will be in a position to cause you much pain and embarrassment, and I will take it.”
“So melodramatic,” Ianto shakes his head, “one would think, at your advanced age-”
“If you’re trying to imply something-”
“Oh I would never imply anything, Jack, it’s just so… Canadian.”
“Yeah, well, hang on, what?” Jack says. “I’m confused.”
“Obviously,” Ianto says, “we expect nothing more from you, sir.”
Jack frowns, “okay, the mocking? Not nice.”
“Be thankful I’m letting you keep your pants.”
“But not my coat; it’s cold in here.”
“Yes, that’s because this is where we keep the dead bodies,” Ianto says patiently, “normal dead people start to decay rather quickly, and I’m sure even you can understand why that wouldn’t be ideal.”
Jack gives him a cold look, eyelashes starting to crystallize.
Ianto leans in, balancing himself with a hand on Jack’s chest, giving him a quick kiss that Jack does not reciprocate, instead taking a snap at Ianto’s lower lip. He misses, and Ianto holds his mouth closed with a finger and thumb.
“Wild animals, Jack, are supposed to be locked up, should they breach the Hub,” Ianto reminds him, “Chapter 38, section 10, subsection W, subset IV. Well, that and common sense.”
See the Master List or return to jackxianto.
[
12. In the mortuary.
5. Kissing.
11. Handcuffs.
]
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Jack, but-”
“Is there a right way? Really?”
“Alright, you may have a point there.”
“May, he says, may have a point there, well that’s very helpful Ianto, but it’s not getting me uncuffed now is it?”
“Talking to yourself Jack?” Ianto says, smoothing Jack’s collar, which, Jack would like to point out, he wouldn’t have to, if he took these damn cuffs off.
“Only because there’s no other intelligent life in reach,” Jack says, imagining Owen bludgeoning Ianto with a heart monitor.
Ianto rolls his eyes, balancing on his toes in a crouch over Jack’s legs, “insulting me isn’t going to get you free any sooner.”
“Where is Gwen,” Jack says, “and why isn’t she rescuing me?”
“Oh, Gwen and I… have reached an agreement, rather favorable for both sides, in fact.”
“I am going to hurt you,” Jack says, “I am going to crush you like a… a pineapple? A walnut?”
“Unfortunately for you,” Ianto says, “crushing requires hands, and yours are currently otherwise occupied.”
Jack narrows his eyes, “remember Ianto, I’m going to live forever. Believe me when I say somewhere along the line, I will be in a position to cause you much pain and embarrassment, and I will take it.”
“So melodramatic,” Ianto shakes his head, “one would think, at your advanced age-”
“If you’re trying to imply something-”
“Oh I would never imply anything, Jack, it’s just so… Canadian.”
“Yeah, well, hang on, what?” Jack says. “I’m confused.”
“Obviously,” Ianto says, “we expect nothing more from you, sir.”
Jack frowns, “okay, the mocking? Not nice.”
“Be thankful I’m letting you keep your pants.”
“But not my coat; it’s cold in here.”
“Yes, that’s because this is where we keep the dead bodies,” Ianto says patiently, “normal dead people start to decay rather quickly, and I’m sure even you can understand why that wouldn’t be ideal.”
Jack gives him a cold look, eyelashes starting to crystallize.
Ianto leans in, balancing himself with a hand on Jack’s chest, giving him a quick kiss that Jack does not reciprocate, instead taking a snap at Ianto’s lower lip. He misses, and Ianto holds his mouth closed with a finger and thumb.
“Wild animals, Jack, are supposed to be locked up, should they breach the Hub,” Ianto reminds him, “Chapter 38, section 10, subsection W, subset IV. Well, that and common sense.”
See the Master List or return to jackxianto.