Lazlo's Confessionals - July

[seacaptainlazlo]

Lazlo is once again seated on the far side of a curtain dividing two comfortable chairs. Lamps decorate the windowless hold of the ship and light it enough for anyone to see their way - and for him to see nothing but a silhouette on the other side of the curtain. The confessional hours are now open.

((ooc: once again, all confessions are assumed

Comments

Because he didn't go the first time around.

[ohcruelworld]

*Stares at the details in awe as he takes a seat* Wow. This really shaped up nicely...

Oh! Right - about why I'm here. *clears throat and takes a breath, pausing before starting* Well...I can say I'm still a bit stressed, but that's nothing out of the ordinary. Everything seems to be fine. It's just...

I suppose I can say there's always this thought in the back of my mind that says something will go wrong no matter what happens. I try to ignore it, but sometimes the feeling is right. And I-I know I can't take care of every single problem everyone has. I-it's impossible to not worry about those you care about, right? It would be almost heartless if one didn't...

<3

[seacaptainlazlo]

Sometimes, it matters more that we care, than that we're strong enough or smart enough to solve the problem.

At least, there are a lot of people here with different strengths and abilities...people who can be relied upon.

:D

[ohcruelworld]

*Nods on his side* Yes, that's true...

And I'm glad there are. I don't know what I'd be doing if things were different.

[seacaptainlazlo]

I'm glad I could be of some help. Anything you tell me is safe with me.

[trueltning_fury]

*a long sigh before he begins*

...I still fear death. Especially now that one of my best friends has been returned to his right time...making him dead again.

[seacaptainlazlo]

Oh. But...well, isn't it better that people are in their right times? I mean...not that I dislike being here, but...you know.

[trueltning_fury]

He shouldn't have been brought here in the first place. He should have been left to rest in peace.

It doesn't matter. *gets up and walks out*

[trainer_juan]

Well, he did promise me they'd be anonymous...

You know, ever since I was a young boy.. I've been preparing myself for the fight of my life. I've thought about it a lot, how many ways it could end, but... I've never really thought about what happens after it's over. Where do I go from there? Is there more to this life? ...I'd never say this to her face, but there is a beautiful young woman here who I would like to share my victory with someday. I don't see myself as an openly affectionate person, though, so... I hope I don't defeat my enemy that soon.

........ *finds it odd saying all these things out loud for the first time*

[seacaptainlazlo]

...I should hope there's more to life, after something like that. It's good to have a goal, though.

Why won't you tell this woman anything?

[trainer_juan]

Beats me, I was hoping you would be the expert. *laughs to himself* I suppose... it's because I've been resisting it for so long, it feels like I'll lose the moment I give in. Not very befitting of a guy who made a vow to win so many years ago, don't you think? Ah, dilemmas...

[seacaptainlazlo]

W-well, I'm not really much of a love expert. But I like to see people reach for their goals and not give up, no matter what that goal is.

I suppose it's up to you to decide...what would make you happier. And then work to have it.

[loser_blonde]

Sooo it's been a while.

Well, anyway, I've been deliberately avoiding or talking scarcely with a few people recently. It's mostly because I don't want to go through the "joys" of having them or me suddenly disappearing. ... A few people around here are becoming close friends with or falling in love with each other, but some of them aren't even from the same, you know, time period. When the people up and vanish around here, it's gonna suck for those like that.. That's why I don't know if I can do that. Get close to certain people, I mean. Although it's hard to stay away forever. I dunno...

[seacaptainlazlo]

Yeah. I know how that feels. But I stopped taking life for granted when...when I got this Rune. Any day could be my last, so why shouldn't I enjoy the people around me?

B-but that's how I see it. It doesn't make it any easier to know a friend has gone. No one is immune from that, I know people from this time also leave and sometimes they don't bother to say goodbye.

[nightsveilqueen]

I hope this is the right place. *looks around apprehensively, but senses no danger. The castle staff member who told her about this place seemed to be telling the truth*

This is a silly thing, but I am trying to sort it out in my mind.

I am from a place far enough away that its politics have no bearing whatsoever here. So for the most part I haven't mentioned... that I am queen of my country, as it seems to be a meaningless claim. But sometimes I wonder if I am lying, so people do not react to me differently, with distance.

Before I was crowned... before we liberated our country... I lived my life largely as an anonymous mercenary. I think I miss those times. I wonder if the true sin of dishonesty is to myself, that I am clinging to a time where I had more freedom, now that I am removed from my country once again. I don't want to be removed any more than I was the first time, but...

Maybe I just feel guilty for enjoying myself here.

None of that made any sense, did it?

[seacaptainlazlo]

I think I got it. Well...people do react differently to royalty. Even someone as laid back as King Lino - oh, he was the king I served. But even he gave up his kingship for a time during the war so that people wouldn't see him as a king and follow him when they needed to follow...me.

True honesty with yourself is living and doing exactly what you want, I believe. Here, nothing matters except that you're happy. Our homes and countries and duties will be waiting for us when we get back.

[nightsveilqueen]

What I want to do is see my people and my sister are cared for.

But... perhaps you've a point. This is an opportunity to explore my own drives and leadings. I'll consider that.

Thank you very much for your time.

[seacaptainlazlo]

Sure. Glad to be of some help.