We walked a million hills - Chapter 11
Title: Trinity Verse II. - We walked a million hills (11/?)
Author:
scyllaya
Rating: PG-13
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel/Gabriel, past Gabriel/Kali
Warning(s): cursing
Spoiler(s): AU (characters up to S5)
Word Count: ~ 3 100 (this chapter) WIP
Summary: Dean, Castiel and Gabriel live the life they wanted to have. Their biggest problem should be synchronizing their crazy schedules, unfortunately life is never that simple.
Disclaimer: Nearly all names and characters in this story belong to CW/WB and Kripke. I’m making no profit whatsoever. It’s just for fun!Most places and establishments in the story are real, but I’ve never visited any of them, so I have no true knowledge about them. People (OCs) in the story are not real! Any resemblance to real life is just a coincidence.
AN: Second story of Trinity verse.
Title from: Nirvana - The Man Who Sold The World
Unbeta-ed.
Trinity Verse I: Broke our Mirrors
Trinity II - Chapter One
<
|| Next Chapter >>
Chapter XI
Castiel and Dean looked pissed, or that's how Gabriel guessed. Well, they did look pissed, but it was hard to tell with all the confusion and questions getting into the mix. Looking at the living room how Dean and Cas sat on the couch, Kali in one of the armchairs comfortably, like she's been coming here for years, was bizarre. Like two of his worlds suddenly collided and he didn't actually know how to deal with it.
He put down Kali's tea on the coffee table where there was room next to the DVDs and snacks. Gabriel was pretty sure the movie-plan got way canceled. He poured Kali's tea in a teacup - they actually had a set even if they never used it before - but his own was in a big comfortable mug. Kali always shook her head whenever he refused to use those silly delicate cups. Dean and Cas didn't want any, it was not surprising. Kali raised her cup and looked up to stare at Gabriel the second she recognized the smell.
'My-my Gabriel, you actually have Nilgiri tea in your home. Color me impressed, darling.' She did sound impressed and looked very pleased with her cup. Dean was scowling at her.
'I didn't even know we had any kind of tea,' he remarked.
'Forget the tea already,' Cas interrupted. He was staring at Gabriel and not their guest. Those deep blue eyes boring into him was a lot more unnerving than Dean's almost angry scowl that Kali of course fully ignored, not even glancing towards the couch. Gabe knew that being ignored like this would piss Dean off, he was sure of it.
'Are you planning to start talking now?' Castiel asked.
'I don't know what's there to talk about,' Gabriel answered.
'How about explaining this chick sitting in our living room?' Dean prompted. Gabriel finished taking a sip from his mug, the taste and the scent filled him with nostalgia. Many afternoons and even more evenings spent sitting in Perch's Tea Room on the Kronprinsensgade, he could almost imagine the smell of his favorite cinnamon rolls. He should find a place in the city that sold something like those, he had no idea why he didn't look for it before in all these years.
'Gabriel,' Cas sounded impatient, that was never a good sign.
'There's nothing to explain,' he said. 'We met, we dated, got engaged, we broke up and moved to two different continents. End of story.'
'You still have a delightful tendency of simplifying things,' Kali told him.
'How's your new fiancée?' Gabriel shot back.
'He wanted me to stop working, pop out a bunch of babies and be a housewife,' she answered calmly.
'Fed him to some alligators?' Gabriel asked with a small smile tugging on his lips.
'Planned to, he ran away,' Kali answered coolly and it made Gabriel laugh. She had a very strange sense of humor, but Gabriel liked it nonetheless, it was not something everyone could understand. Dean just blinked at the exchange and Cas had that little confused frown on his face as well.
'Ok, fine, if it was “end of story”, what is she doing here? Sipping tea in our fucking living room?' Gabriel couldn't get Dean's anger, not really. Sure some questions and surprise was expected, but anger? He wasn't even sure how to explain. He just had to call Kali, he had so many reasons, but he had no idea whether they would make sense to either of his lovers. He stroked over his eyebrow with a finger as he tried to come up with the right answer that would calm things down instead of making it worse.
'Well, considering that one of my oldest friends just passed away, it would've been rather inconsiderate of Gabriel not to inform me about it,' Kali answered instead of him, finally looking over to Castiel and Dean. Her brown eyes sharply settling on them. Gabriel knew that look on her face, she was taking stock of the two men. Her eyes roamed the rooms and the furniture in the apartment the same way, like she was taking everything into account and deciding whether it was good enough for whatever intended purpose they had. If it would've been anyone else Gabriel would've found it strange for someone to look at people this way, with Kali it was the most natural thing in the world.
'And just because I've been involved with Gabriel, it does not give you the right to bark at me like a dog fending for its territory,' she told Dean, then her attention switched to Castiel. 'Or to look at me like I'm some sort of a pathogen infecting your precious little home. Especially not since I've been up for the past three days and just flew 15 hours so that I don't miss a funeral.' Her gaze turned angry and a lot colder as she spoke. 'I have things to settle and I need to catch a few hours of sleep,' she continued turning her eyes back on Gabriel, like the two other men were not even in the room anymore. 'Please show me out, Gabriel.'
She stood and Gabriel followed. Once they were at the door they were far enough from the living room for them to speak.
'You know, we could've avoided all of this, if you would've just called me and told me you were coming,' Gabriel said to her.
'I'm aware,' she said. 'But can you blame me for wanting to see these two with my own eyes?' Gabriel huffed out a laugh.
'Guess not.'
'Well, you can take me out to dinner tomorrow and we can talk in peace then.'
'Sounds good,' Gabriel shrugged. Even with Kali snapping at them, or especially because of it, Gabriel did not look forward to the conversation that was waiting for him back in the living room.
'Don't let them push you too much,' Kali warned.
'They're not like that,' Gabriel answered right away.
'Your rose-colored glasses are surgically attached to your thick skull,' the woman stated as she tapped his forehead with a finger.
'They're not,' Gabriel said again.
'Or so you say, you stupid clown' she shook her head and leaned in for another hug. Gabriel returned it.
'Harpy,' he muttered and Kali laughed quietly.
'Oh, I can't believe this, but I really missed you,' she said.
'Missed you too,' Gabriel said before letting her go. 'No one would've been able to turn this day so upside down as you just did.'
'I have a wonderful sense for dramatics,' she smiled. 'And I had to take a good look at the adversaries.'
Gabriel raised his eyebrows, but Kali smiled again putting a hand on his cheek.
'Just joking, love. See you tomorrow.' She turned around and walked down the corridor towards the elevator and Gabriel took a deep breath before heading back to the living room.
Dean and Cas were talking, but fell silent as Gabe got back, the air of anger around Dean subdued, that was good. Castiel still looked displeased though. He knew that there was just no way out of this one, so he flopped back down to his sitting-chair picking up his mug, the tea was getting cold now.
'Fine, lets hear it,' he said.
'Ok, look we get that you called her because of Pete,' Dean started. 'It's just...' he looked over to Castiel. Who looked back, and they shared a look Gabriel was not sure how to interpret. He actually had no idea whether he's going to be chewed out right now or not.
'Why have we never heard about her before?' Castiel asked. 'Not a word, Gabriel. That you had someone, that you lived together, were engaged. And we don't understand why.'
'It's not like it was in any way relevant,' Gabriel answered.
'How could this be not relevant?' Dean asked incredulously. 'That you don't talk about such things. First I thought it was just Pete, but now her? Why would you keep such things from us, it just makes no sense to me.'
'I was back, it was over. And it's not like you ever asked.'
'Oh, so we were supposed to ask you whether you had a fiancée back in Denmark?' Dean scowled. Gabriel bit back what he first wanted to answer to that one and took another sip from the tea.
'Well, I don't know Dean, maybe ask anything at all about Denmark? You didn't. And like I said, it was not relevant after I came back.'
'You just jumped out of an engagement before you came back, how on Earth is that something “not relevant”?' Castiel asked, now the frustration was clear on his face, combined with Dean's angry scowl... just fucking perfect. Exactly what he wanted right now.
'Fine, you wanna know? I met her through Pete and yes, we went out, even moved in together, even got fucking engaged. But you wanna know what happened? I asked her to come back to the US with me and she said no. She wanted me to go to India with her, but I couldn't. Because I wanted to come back, because I promised you two that I won't be gone forever, that I will come back. And that's what I wanted, because I couldn't stand the thought of never coming back and see you again. And she said no, because she told me that she will not be second in my life. So there, we broke up, she flew away. I gave her up and came back despite having no idea whether any of you would be willing to talk to me at all. But you did, I was happy about that, but I loved her and she left and the last thing I wanted was to think about her, let alone talk about her. So tell me, in what fucking shape or form was that relevant in any possible way? Does it matter in any way after all these years?'
He knew he was getting angry, very much so, but he couldn't help it. Not with this, not about this. He didn't wait for an answer, the next words were stumbling out of his mouth without a second thought.
'And you wanna know why I don't talk about any of this shit? Because you don't bother to know! I lived in Denmark for three years, but I've been back for more than seven and you never asked me how my life there was, not once. How did I manage to get along on my own, when you fucking knew that I left to deal with my life, to get myself in order and pull my shit together! Because you fucking hate it that I went away, everything about those three years! You hated that I was gone, and you hated hearing about it the one fucking time I opened my mouth! The same with my fucking work! You can't stand the building, because you have bad memories?! Boo fucking hoo! That was me, you know?! Me! That happened to me! And you're the ones who can't stand it?! That it's too much for you?! What the hell is that supposed to be, huh?! And now!! I'm being interrogated like some fucking criminal, because it's the biggest sin on the whole fucking world, that I dare to have a single fucking thing in my god-forsaken life, that doesn't belong to you two!'
His mug shattered on the wall with a loud crack and only then did it register that he threw it in the first place. He was panting and shaking, and god he never yelled in his entire life like this. His blood was pumping in his ear made him hear his own heavy heartbeat, his throat already felt sore from raising his voice this much.
'Gabri-' Dean tried.
'Not a word,' Gabriel interrupted. His voice dropping down back to its normal volume right away, even if his breathing was still heavy. 'This conversation ends here.'
He didn't wait for an answer, but turned and walked out of the room. They didn't stop him, which was definitely good. He didn't went to their bedroom, but to one of the other bedrooms they had furnished despite them not using it. He closed the door and locked it. His head was throbbing now, unsurprisingly, so he sat down to just breathe properly. He couldn't tell later how long he was sitting there.
There was a knock on the door, later. Probably much later as it was dark outside already.
'Gabriel,' came Cas' voice from the other side. He didn't feel like answering. 'I know we've been... offensive about Kali, we just... nevermind, just... we didn't know Pete, for several reasons so it seems, but... you're obviously hurting. I want you to know that we're here. You're just... I feel like there is still something you're not telling us, since what happened on the Broadway you've been... I don't even know, temperamental... distant... just plain strange, Gabriel... I don't know what's going on with you.'
Gabriel heard a soft thud from the other side and knew that Cas sat down.
'You always came to us, whenever something was wrong you came to us, or called and let us come to you. Now it's like you don't even talk to us, like you don't want to talk to us. You've been arguing with Dean so much, you also started arguing with me... Gabriel, what's going on? You have to... just please. Whatever it is, we can deal with it... it's us. You always said nothing can go wrong, because it's us. So just... open the door please.'
He stayed silent for a little bit, thinking about it.
'I don't wanna talk right now,' he answered finally, his voice was a bit scratchy because of the sudden and heavy strain on it. He really was not used to shouting at all. Right now he thought the less he talked the better, because God, every time he opened his mouth lately things just got worse, so he really had to figure out how to say things without doing more damage. Everything was so messed up already and he really had no clue how to clean it up.
'Ok, not now then. We have time, it doesn't have to be right now,' Castiel answered from the other side of the door. 'Will you let me in now?'
'Dean there with you too?'
'No, he went to get some fresh air, probably will drive around for a while.' Gabriel hesitated for a moment, but then reached up and unlocked the door. It opened slowly a few seconds later, filling the darkened room with light from the corridor. Then Castiel stepped in and sat down to the carpet next to him, sharing the silence for a little while.
'Would you have opened if Dean was still here too?' Cas asked.
'Yeah,' he shrugged, it's not like he could say no for long to either of them. 'He's angry, right?' He asked a moment later, but continued without waiting for an answer. 'Of course he is, hell, you're angry too.'
'It's just...'
'You and Dean... you're the most important to me,' he said. 'Always have been, always will be... I just... want you to know that.' Castiel's hand was on his cheek next, the younger man getting a bit closer, his forehead resting on Gabriel's temple.
'We know, of course we know. Gabriel...'
'It's gonna be okay, it's a... it's us Cas, it's not supposed to go wrong y'know.'
'Gabriel, you're worrying me,' Cas answered. And wasn't that just worst reaction he could get? Undoubtedly.
'I think I wanna go to sleep now,' he said and stood up to go over to the master bedroom. He hoped to fall asleep soon, because this day caused enough trouble already so he just wanted it to end already. He was still somewhat awake when Cas got into bed next to him, but he was fast asleep by the time Dean got home.
'Hey,' Dean whispered quietly from the doorway and Cas looked up at him from the bed. 'Is he asleep?' he gestured at Gabriel. Cas looked down at the sleeping form next to him then nodded at Dean. The other man waved him to come out. Castiel carefully got up from the bed and walked out to the corridor silently, pulling the door closed behind himself a little.
'Did he say anything?' Dean asked. Castiel shook his head.
'That we're the most important to him, he wants us to know that.' Dean took a large breath leaning against the wall. Cas stepped next to him and did the same. 'Where were you?'
'I went to Saint Anthony. Figured, if there is any place to find something out...' he trailed off.
'And?' Cas prompted.
'Gabe's not on vacation, he's on a “strongly recommended personal leave”.'
'What?'
'His boss told him to take some time off after he trashed a bathroom the day I was released.'
Castiel looked at Dean and blinked in surprise taking in the information.
'You mean, the day Pete died,' he corrected.
'Yeah, this is... I don't know Cas. I don't fucking know what to do!' Dean seemed desperate, tired, maybe even confused and Castiel was the same. 'He's... he's never been like this! He hates such things. It's like he's this... completely different person.'
'Maybe...' Castiel started. 'That's the problem.'
'What?'
'We didn't know how close he was to Pete, but he was. He's grieving, Dean. He's sad and angry... he's always been so silent when he's angry, because Michael was always yelling and breaking things. So I think he just needs to let it out now, because it's too much, he can't get over it so easily. He has too many things bottled up.'
'Doesn't explain all this shit like... Kali,' Dean added, sounding angry and still confused a little.
'Maybe so, but... we should give it a rest, give him time. For a few weeks only, until Pete's death is not hovering all over him like this.' Dean ran a hand down his face, his head tilting back to the wall.
'Yeah, okay. Kali will be gone the hell back to India too by then.'
'The sooner the better,' Castiel agreed. 'Are you well?'
Dean shrugged. 'I don't know, I just... feels like we didn't pay enough attention and it makes me feel like shit.' Castiel moved closer to him and took one of his hands in his.
'It's going to be fine, we'll get through this.'
Dean reached out to pull him closer, wrapping his free arm around his back and holding on tightly, his breath shallow and quicker than usual. Cas kissed his temple, the corner of his eye and returned the embrace, his arms wrapped around the other man just as tightly. Dean put a kiss on his cheek in answer.
'It's going to be fine,' Castiel repeated even if his voice almost broke at the last word.
<
|| Next Chapter >>