Numinous
Title: Numinous
Author: scyllaya
Rating: NC-17 for entire story
Characters and/or Pairing: Dean/Gabriel, Castiel, Sam
Spoilers: Up to 6.11.
Warnings: cursing, hurt/comfort, graphic sexual content (male/male)
Word Count: ~ 7000
Summary: An argument ends very badly between Dean and Gabriel.
Disclaimer: All names and characters in this story belong to CW/WB and Kripke. I’m making no profit whatsoever. It’s just for fun! Don’t sue me! :D
AN: Written for the 2010 New Beginnings Comment-Fic Meme! at Livejournal community team_free_love.
Un-betad.
Prompt: Gabriel/Dean
On accident Gabriel brings up some horrific memories of Dean's. When Dean reacts badly. Gabriel goes to extremes to try and fix it.
MASTERPOST
Part One
First everything was completely normal on that particular afternoon. Well what counted as normal ever since some god or unknown higher power decided that the Winchesters needed one extra annoying archangel in their lives in Gabriel’s person. Of course being the resident pain in the ass was more Gabriel’s idea. He refused to go back to Heaven, even if he did suddenly disappear from time to time after snapping his head up, and from the way Castiel looked all relaxed and trustful in his presence he obviously helped out the other angel once in a while when things got really dangerous. He usually annoyed Sam and Dean, mostly just Dean, since Sam managed to ignore his childish teasing and pranks, or Gabriel in general.
Dean on the other hand always took the bait and their days were now filled with bickering and cursing. And even if it was nearly impossible to get rid of an archangel Dean’s threats of holy oil and crispy angel wings never stopped. Sam thought that the two of them settled into the most bizarre almost-friendship ever.
What changed everything was Dean’s capability to actually piss off an archangel and Gabriel’s tendency to just snap his fingers before thinking everything through first. It started small, some bicker about pie or TV, it didn’t matter since they were throwing insults and smart-ass retorts at each other all the time. But this time it escalated. Sam sometimes fled the room pretty early because he never wanted to get dragged into any of their childish arguments, but when the first true insults got out, the younger Winchester knew that shit will hit the fan in light-speed.
Gabriel’s anger was sometimes a tangible thing, it filled the room, the air felt thicker and charged. And when this time Sam felt it, as temperature dropped and the smell of storm filled his nose, he knew it will be really bad.
‘Are you maybe forgetting Winchester that I died to save your sorry ass?’ Gabriel asked when he finally stood up from the bed and approached Dean. And Sam knew that his stupid pig-headed brother won’t back-off, maybe was too angry to even realize the possible danger in the situation. He just looked furious and practically spit back his answer through gritted teeth.
‘I couldn’t care less about a coward who left his family to rot just so he could screw with people and fuck every bloody monster on the face of Earth!’ Sam was already on his feet even without any idea what he could possibly do. Gabriel’s face darkened and without a word he just snapped his fingers and Dean was gone from the room.
‘What did you do to him?’ Sam asked immediately. Scared shitless about what the archangel might have just done to his brother in his anger. Gabriel actually took a deep, long breath and Sam felt as the room’s air returned to normal, no smell of ozone or rain.
‘Well, your brother needed to cool off a little obviously’ the archangel replied, but before Sam could demand or plead for his brother Gabriel snapped his fingers again and Dean was back.
He landed unceremoniously on the worn carpet of the motel room. He was drenched in water, it was dripping from his face and clothes already forming a small pool of water under him. He awaited his brother to look up with menace in his eyes and start calling Gabriel in every insulting way possible, but he didn’t move. And when he noticed how shallow his breathing was, how ragged and how he was shaking and how his fingers were curled into a tight fist Sam felt his stomach twist in fear
‘Dean!’ he dropped down onto his knees next to his brother and put a hand on his shoulder. He was very cold, the water felt icy under Sam’s fingers. ‘Dean! What’s wrong? Are you hurt?’ but the elder Winchester just kept staring at the carpet, water dripping from his hair and his nose. His lips were almost blue for fucks sake. ‘What the hell did you do to him?’ Sam snapped up at the archangel with so much anger rising from the pit of his stomach that he felt that he could tear the archangel apart with his bare hands.
Gabriel scoffed. ‘Oh c’mon, don’t be so dramatic I just--’ normally Sam would’ve laughed at the way the archangel’s eyes widened and his face morphed into that of a horrific realization, but not now. ‘Oh fuck!’ he cursed and he got closer, but the moment he knelt down next to Dean too the elder Winchester jumped back, like he was burnt and scrambled back and away from the archangel until his back hit the closest wall. His eyes were wide and his breathing got even more ragged, Sam got closer to him immediately, but no words seemed to reach his brother as he just kept looking up at the archangel.
‘Get the fuck out of here’ Sam practically growled.
‘I just--’
‘NOW!’ there was a the quiet sound of fluttering wings and the Winchesters were alone. Sam didn’t know what he would’ve done if Gabriel refused to leave, but now he had much bigger problem at hand since Dean seemed only a slightly bit relaxed even with Gabriel gone.
xxx
I took Sam an hour to snap Dean out of it enough to get him into the shower and another few hours before Dean stopped staring at nothing. Sam didn’t know what could’ve caused all this, but the way Dean was trashing and woke up covered in sweat with an almost scream on his lips only after an hour he fell asleep was way too familiar for Sam’s liking. He was thinking of every possible way he could harm an archangel. After he woke from his nightmare Dean wordlessly grabbed his half-bottle of whiskey from his duffel and started drinking. Sam didn’t stop him. Gabriel fortunately didn’t come by the next day and Sam might’ve hoped that everything was just getting in order with Dean - he showered and ate on his own - but it was soon crushed as he noticed that he didn’t talk, at all. Nor did he make any particular noise that resembled any sort of communication. Sam stopped bothering him and thought that he just needed a little space and time.
Of course the next day - Sam was also dead tired because Dean couldn’t sleep and that kept Sam awake too - Gabriel showed up again. Sam wanted to shout, scream, threaten or do anything he could to get him to fuck off, but he was ignored. Dean didn’t react as badly as he did the last time, but he did flinch when the angel appeared and he refused to look at him and backed away when Gabriel took a step towards him. The archangel just kept looking at him for a while, his stare as intense as Castiel’s usually was then without a word he was gone. Dean visibly relaxed.
During the week Dean got slightly better, he even looked at Sam sometimes and grunt in affirmation or shook his head, he was still not talking though, but it was improvement. And Gabriel showed up every day. First he was just there, but then he would say Dean’s name as in trying to get him to acknowledge his presence. Dean never did, he got better and he ignored the archangel to the point that he no longer flinched or backed off from him, but simply acted as he didn’t exist at all. Gabriel was most certainly not someone who could be easily ignored this much, but Dean could. It helped that Gabriel didn’t get closer than three feet and never reached out to touch the hunter, nor did he forced him to stop ignoring him. One day the archangel just leaned next to the window without a word and stayed there all day, waiting.
When a week passed like this. Dean silent and ignoring Gabriel like he was just a piece of furniture, while Sam started to seriously freak out about Dean’s current state. So he took things in his hand, he called Bobby and told them that they were going over.
Sam was out loading their stuff to the Impala while Dean was putting away the rest of his clothes into his own bag.
‘Dean’ it was Gabriel of course standing next to him, now breaking his previous 3 feet distance rule. Dean of course ignored him and continued to pack his clothes. When he was ready he turned to leave the motel room, but this time Gabriel didn’t let him. He grabbed him, spun him around, one hand on Dean’s lower arm. Dean tensed immediately and was staring sideways at the wall. Gabriel didn’t hold his arm too tightly, and slowly crowded Dean back to the wall so that he would stay in one place. Dean backed down since he didn’t have a choice, his back reached the wall.
‘Dean, you... can’t just... don’t ignore me’ Gabriel said, but Dean of course didn’t reply. ‘I fucked up, I know... I’m... I’m so sorry’ he managed to say, but it didn’t get a reaction. Gabriel was looking at the human and his grace was aching and twisting within his vessel at how under the stone-cold appearance Dean was hurting, scared and hurting and it was all his fault, it was him who violently re-awakened his worst memories of Hell, even if it was not what he intended to do. Gabriel put his other hand on Dean’s chest and felt as his heart was beating furiously in his ribcage.
‘Dean please just... look at me, will you? Come on... please... I never wanted to hurt you so much... I’m such an idiot’ Gabriel took a deep breath and kept his eyes locked on the hunter’s face even if the green eyes didn’t look back at him. They didn’t glint with mirth or laughter. Didn’t burn with emotion. ‘I would turn back time if... too many things happened that just... I can’t do that right now... and you would never forgive me if I messed with your memories... I just’ he took a breath again and when did he get so human again? ‘You were right again... and angered me... no one could ever cut me so deep as you... not even Lucifer... because you just see me, I can’t really fool you, but that doesn’t matter now... I just wanted to see you... I’m... I’m going to fight Raphael and I just...’ he leaned in close and since Dean had his head turned away Gabriel pressed his lips to his cheek, but only slightly touching the smooth skin, while he inhaled deeply. ‘I brought you something’ the archangel said and even if Dean still refused to look at him Gabriel managed to curl his fingers open then close his hand around the small object.
‘You can throw it away, but I hope you’ll keep it so I can hear you if you need me.’ Gabriel leaned close again, but just to put his hand on Dean’s cheek, but he didn’t force him to look at him. ‘I hope you forgive me’ he told him quietly. ‘Goodbye.’
And the next second Dean was alone in the room and he slid down next to the wall. Tears burning and trying to get free from his eyes and he already regretted not reaching out, not turning his head. He leaned his head back onto the wall, looking up at the ceiling, while his fist closed around the small amulet even tighter.
‘I forgive you’ he breathed out, his voice hoarse from not talking for so long. ‘I forgive you... please don’t die.’
Part Two >>>