They Don't See Me
This is my entry for Week 1 of the August contest over at brigits_flame. The topic is "smoke and mirrors." This was originally going to be creative nonfiction, but my muse had different ideas, apparently.
They Don't See Me
Sparkly long dress,
Gaudy old jewelry,
Cheap plastic crown, …
Feathery bird mask.
I'm ready for Halloween,
Ready to greet kids,
To hand out candy, …
And to deceive.
But who?
For hours and hours
People pass and they pass and they pass
With baskets, buckets, bags,
And they don't notice.
But how could they?
"Who are you?"
Everyone wants to know.
Tonight?
Tonight I am Miss Northwest High School …
Sparkling, shining, shimmering,
And wearing a bird mask.
But only for tonight.
I feel the pull of my heavy dress,
Hear the rustle of costume fabric,
Of candy being unwrapped,
Smell the sweetness of chocolate in the air,
Taste the tartness of a stolen Starburst.
(No one saw me take it.)
No one here sees me at all.
Not really.
Tonight they see only the sparkles
Covering every inch of my dress,
The fake plastic jewels glinting
Off a fake plastic crown,
The soft feathery bird mask
That hides all the rest.
Tonight they don't call me "sweetie,"
Don't try to do everything for me,
Don't watch my every move.
But tonight they don't really see me.
Tonight they don't know who I am.
It's kind of nice, and yet …
Tonight I am hiding,
Whether I meant to or not.
Strange, for I never hide.
At least not this.
I may hide my emotions,
My fears,
My uncertainties.
But not this.
Never this.
Yet sometimes I wish …
Tonight they don't call me "sweetie,"
Don't try to do everything for me,
Don't watch my every move.
But where does that get me
If they don't know who I am?
What has changed
If, the moment I remove the mask,
The eyes are on me again?
Nothing.
Tonight I don't look helpless …
Because I'm not.
Tonight I don't look dependent …
Because I'm not.
Tonight I don't "look" blind,
Which is the problem, …
Because I am.
They Don't See Me
Sparkly long dress,
Gaudy old jewelry,
Cheap plastic crown, …
Feathery bird mask.
I'm ready for Halloween,
Ready to greet kids,
To hand out candy, …
And to deceive.
But who?
For hours and hours
People pass and they pass and they pass
With baskets, buckets, bags,
And they don't notice.
But how could they?
"Who are you?"
Everyone wants to know.
Tonight?
Tonight I am Miss Northwest High School …
Sparkling, shining, shimmering,
And wearing a bird mask.
But only for tonight.
I feel the pull of my heavy dress,
Hear the rustle of costume fabric,
Of candy being unwrapped,
Smell the sweetness of chocolate in the air,
Taste the tartness of a stolen Starburst.
(No one saw me take it.)
No one here sees me at all.
Not really.
Tonight they see only the sparkles
Covering every inch of my dress,
The fake plastic jewels glinting
Off a fake plastic crown,
The soft feathery bird mask
That hides all the rest.
Tonight they don't call me "sweetie,"
Don't try to do everything for me,
Don't watch my every move.
But tonight they don't really see me.
Tonight they don't know who I am.
It's kind of nice, and yet …
Tonight I am hiding,
Whether I meant to or not.
Strange, for I never hide.
At least not this.
I may hide my emotions,
My fears,
My uncertainties.
But not this.
Never this.
Yet sometimes I wish …
Tonight they don't call me "sweetie,"
Don't try to do everything for me,
Don't watch my every move.
But where does that get me
If they don't know who I am?
What has changed
If, the moment I remove the mask,
The eyes are on me again?
Nothing.
Tonight I don't look helpless …
Because I'm not.
Tonight I don't look dependent …
Because I'm not.
Tonight I don't "look" blind,
Which is the problem, …
Because I am.