For
bitchygrrl Five Things Dean Winchester Would Rather Fly On A Plane Than Admit
1. Dean knew what would happen when he told Cassie the truth about his life, and he did it anyway. Because one day he was going to have to choose between her and his family, and it wasn't going to be her, and he really did love her.
2. He used to just show up at Stanford sometimes, unannounced, and follow Sam around without him noticing. Dean would sit in the back of a lecture hall and watch Sam intently taking notes. Or spy from behind a tree while Sam lolled on the grass, carefree, laughing with his friends. Sam looked so honest-to-God happy every time it made Dean's chest clench. He was so glad for his brother, and he'd never hated him so much.
3. Dean doesn't think their dad got everything right with them, but Sam has always been so aggressive in his finger-pointing that Dean just kind of gets stuck being their father's apologist.
4. He can't remember his mother's smell very well anymore. It used to be so clear, from all the times she held him and made everything better, warm and powdery and a little bit like Lemon Pledge. When he missed her really bad, he'd close his eyes and conjure up her scent, and it was almost like having her back again. Little by little, though, it started to slip away, and Dean can't help being bitter, wondering why he has to lose this, too.
5. Sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night, cold all over, and he has his brother on his mind, all the weird ass shit he can do. And Dean's never sure if he's afraid for Sam or-- He can't even finish that sentence.