fic: a question of science
Title: A Question of Science
Fandom: Star Trek (Reboot)
Pairing: Kirk/Spock; mentions of Kirk Prime/Spock Prime
Rating: PG-13. Pretty mild!
Word Count: ~10,200 total.
Summary: AKA "The One Where Spock Prime is a Matchmaker"; but be warned that it's as much about Spock Prime and matchmaking as TOS is about modes of technology in the 23rd century. cleverboots is my most darling of betas. ♥ Followed by Calibration.
"All right, my turn!" Kirk said. He pushed the captain's chair from side to side as he said, "I'm going to New Vulcan and I'm bringing an assload of arachnids, a bushel of Bre'elian bonnets, a copious amount of Chekov, my dick, elephantitis, a fanatic case of Francophilia, greedy green goblin blood, a hat, an iota of indiscretion, and... a jelly-filled juniper tree." He beamed and looked around the bridge. "Okay, who's next!"
There were no takers, as there hadn't been for close to an hour.
"Guess it's my turn again! I'm getting so good at this game! Okay, I'm going to New Vulcan and I'm bringing an assload --"
"Captain, we're entering New Vulcan's orbit," Sulu said urgently. "Repeat: we are in New Vulcan's orbit."
"Well, we've still got some time before we beam --"
"Captain, are you really going to beam down dressed like that?" Uhura asked.
"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"
"Well. It's New Vulcan."
Kirk wasn't sure what that meant, but it was Uhura, so she probably knew what she was talking about. "Thanks, Uhura. I'll go put on something else. Is this too casual, you think -- should I class it up a little? Tone it down? How potent is this sex bomb?"
Uhura considered him for a moment and answered, "I think you should ask Spock."
"Good idea. Chekov, you have the con!"
Kirk leaped out of his chair and into the turbolift. Once the doors had closed, there was a moment of silence before the bridge crew burst into applause for Sulu and Uhura's lifesaving performances.
Kirk knocked impatiently at Spock's door until it slid open. He entered, stood in front of Spock's desk, and motioned at his clothes. "How's this look? Uhura said I might want to change. What's wrong with it?"
"I believe this counts as a diplomatic mission, in which case Starfleet dress code requires you to wear the basic uniform, unless the planet's atmosphere --"
"No shit, Spock, but this shirt's like a day old, I think I wore it..." Kirk pulled the shirt near his armpit close and sniffed. "Tuesday? Smells a little like that sandwich I had at lunch. I think it was roast beef."
Spock glanced down at his half-eaten meal and wondered what he had found appetizing about it moments before.
"Whatever, we don't have time to change anyway." Kirk slipped his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. "We're in New Vulcan's orbit. Should be beaming down whenever your buddies acknowledge us. Speaking of which -- come on! Let's go to the bridge! Bring your fruit, let's go."
"You are extremely agitated," Spock noted. "Yet not unpleasantly so."
"You're saying I'm pleasant, huh?" Kirk asked with a smirk.
"Your fits of agitation frequently accompany mortal peril or the various bureaucratic frustrations you may encounter on a daily basis." Spock paused and considered Kirk again, who was grinning and loving the attention. "Your current behavior stems from neither of those things and, therefore, does not resemble your usual agitated state."
"Come on, come to the bridge," Kirk whined. "Quicker we're there, quicker we can hail them, quicker we can say hi to your dad and see what he's up to, right? And then we can see our old friend Silek. And then all that free food at the Academy tomorrow night! And booze. Bones and I were promised hooch as far as the eye can see."
"I wish to inquire how much you and the doctor plan on drinking at that function." Spock stood up, straightened his shirt, and led Kirk out of the room towards the turbolift. "With that information, I may begin formulating strategies for excusing us with minimal impact to our reputations and that of the Enterprise."
"Depends on how boring they are, doesn't it?"
"The function is hosted by the Science Academy; there will be individuals there in your areas of interest."
"You're in my area of interest." The doors opened onto the bridge and Spock glanced to the main screen, which was filled with his father's face. "Heeeey, lookie here, it's Papa Spock," Kirk said under his breath to Spock. "Good afternoon, Ambassador Sarek!"
"Welcome, Captain Kirk. I trust your journey here was uneventful."
"Boy, you know it! When should we beam down? Also, my communications officer sent a message to a man named Silek in your city, but we didn't get a response. Do you know anything about that?"
"Silek chooses to minimize his exposure to electronic communication; I will send verbal word that he is to expect you sometime today."
"Thanks, sir, you're a pal."
Sarek still didn't blink. "I have transmitted the coordinates to your staff; you and Commander Spock may beam down when you please. I also invite your crew to take advantage of the planet's facilities during your stay in our orbit."
"We'll be down in two shakes, Ambassador, and thanks for your gracious hospitality. Kirk out!"
The viewscreen switched off and Kirk walked around the bridge railing to the captain's chair. He pressed the intercom button and shouted into the speaker, "Hey! Bones! Pack up the little black bag and your little black dress; we're beaming down to the planet."
"Now hold on a minute, Jim," Bones's rasped through the intercom. "You want me to beam down, with you and Spock presumably, to a colony of unfeeling desert-dwellers and listen to them talk about physics and bullshit for the next 48 hours?"
"I bet his dad's got a sweet couch for you to nap on," Kirk replied. Kirk looked over his shoulder at Spock, who still wouldn't give him the satisfaction of a blush or anything resembling embarrassment. "Then Spock and I are going to see that buddy of ours and you can have fun torturing the Academy people! Imagine a roomful of people cringing every time you flash those pearly teeth, huh?"
"Oh, and then you leave me alone with Spock's father while you two carouse around the planet, is that it? Count me out, Jim; I'll be at the dinner and drinks tomorrow night, but I hope you two have fun not using facial expressions."
"Suit yourself! I'll get you something pretty from the gift shop. Kirk out." Kirk turned off the intercom, took the long way to the turbolift in order to drag Spock along, and gave his final instructions to the bridge crew.
"Permission to speak freely," Spock said once the doors of the turbolift had closed.
"Spock, you don't need to ask."
"I merely wished to express my disbelief at your refering to an Ambassador's home as having 'a sweet couch'."
"Aw, Spock." Kirk threw an arm around Spock's shoulders and held him tight for a short moment. "It'll be fine."
"Particularly when that Ambassador is my father." Spock looked over at Kirk and added, "I am still unable to comprehend why your are this excited at the prospect of visiting New Vulcan. You have never expressed this much interest in the colony before."
"Haven't I?"
"Not in such an openly joyful manner."
Kirk began to whistle an unfamiliar, upbeat tune and looked at Spock only once more to give him a smirk.
"Captain, why did you wish to consult Silek?" Sarek asked far too soon into their conversation at his house. Kirk and Spock sat in adjacent chairs, Sarek across from them and totally unreadable. Kirk had to remember Sarek's face the next time he thought Spock was stonewalling him because the son had nothing on the father when it came to emoting less than a dishrag. "I only ask because he is our most gifted matchmaker; I can think of no logical reason for you to seek him."
Kirk swallowed and tried to come up with something to say besides what his brain kept screaming: oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK. 'Silek' hadn't mentioned the fucking career change.
To make matters worse -- oh so so very worse -- Sarek looked pointedly (well, as pointedly as one could while still being completely disaffected) at Spock, who, yes, returned that blank expression of his.
"Uh, well. Silek's a friend. Old friend. Knew him on Earth."
"Indeed."
"Yep. He knew my dad, too." Kirk bit the insides of his mouth, mentally apologized to his father, and concentrated on the conversation again.
"Then I will not keep you any longer. I hope I will have the pleasure of conversing with you again at the Academy's dinner and reception tomorrow."
"We'll be there with bells on, along with my Chief Medical Officer; you remember him, right? He can't wait to talk to some real scientists. Says he feels left out because what he does is so practical -- it doesn't have any of that theoretical thrill, you know?"
"I will keep that in mind when introducing him to the Academy's faculty. Good afternoon to you both."
They were at the outskirts of New Vulcan's capital city when Spock finally said the magic word: "Matchmaker."
"I know, right?" Kirk replied.
"Jim, my father thinks you are engaging his services for me."
"So let him think that. Better than the truth. 'Ha, no, Spock's way into the illogical, non-procreative but totally hot sex we've been having on the ship for the past two years; we're just going to see this matchmaker because he's actually an alternate reality version of your son. Surprise!'"
"You make a convincing argument."
Kirk and Spock approached the house Sarek had given them directions to. It stood out in its own way: Ambassador Spock was the only person they had seen outside, sitting on his shady porch with a PADD while the rest of the city was off being logical indoors. Kirk had barely experienced the original Vulcan, but Spock had told him about the thin atmosphere making the land way too hot and dry. New Vulcan, though, was a little more Earth-like: cooler, and it had some actual greenery. He'd call it an upgrade, but not loud enough for anyone to hear him.
"We're looking for Silek!" Kirk called out, his hands cupped around his mouth.
"Jim, do you--"
"Joke, Spock." Kirk jogged the distance to the porch where Ambassador Spock was standing, waiting for him.
As Spock watched Kirk jog away, his own pace slowed so he could observe his alternate self interacting with Kirk. It took only a few seconds for waves of emotions to well up inside his mind. He saw Kirk's emotions, the overwhelming excitement and joy in his face and body as Ambassador Spock greet him with a smile. Spock's own feelings -- jealousy, disappointment, envy, inadequacy, anger -- were eventually quieted.
Until Kirk laughed and reached out to wrap one arm around Ambassador Spock, and Ambassador Spock returned the gesture with both arms. They were embracing.
The day and evening with Ambassador Spock were a blur of conversation. Kirk and his counterpart laughed too much, exchanged too many stories, and attempted to engage Spock when possible.
"Wait, look, I got Spock to tell a joke -- this is the act we're going to take on the road when we retire from Starfleet," Kirk said. He sat up straight and looked at Spock manically. "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Spock tightened his lips and waited several seconds before he answered, "Insufficient data."
Kirk fell off his chair laughing.
Eventually, Spock rose from his chair and announced, "I do not wish to be rude, but I am reminded of some matters I must discuss with my father."
"Do you now?" Kirk asked with a smirk. "Like what? Tell him yes, my eyes are naturally this blue -- it's called cornflower blue on Earth."
Spock's eyes rested on Kirk for a moment and Kirk noticed the slight shift of the corner of his mouth upwards.
"I hope you will be able to dine here," Ambassador Spock said. "I have become quite good at cooking. Jim, I hope you will assist me."
"You need a hobby," Kirk laughed. "You'll be back, right?"
"I will not be long," Spock replied. He bowed his head slightly and left. Kirk watched him retreat out the door, down the porch steps, and back towards the main street of the city. Once he was out of sight, Kirk turned back to Ambassador Spock and grinned.
"So when we were over at Sarek's, he mentioned you were a matchmaker now?"
"Indeed, though perhaps not in the traditional sense. Reconstructing Vulcan's population has entailed a great deal of reorganizing the social order -- doing away with it, in most cases."
"So this guy may be a sewage worker but he counts astrophysics as one of his hobbies, that sort of thing?" Kirk asked.
"Generally, that is the idea."
"I know you're fucking great at it -- you kept me and Spock together, didn't you? And that's been great."
"Has it?"
"Well -- yeah," Kirk laughed.
"You have bonded, then?"
Kirk raised his eyebrows and replied slowly, "I guess? We're close, yeah."
Ambassador Spock raised an eyebrow in that completely Spock way and explained, "I speak of the permanent mental bond forged between two people. There is a formal ceremony, but the bond can be created during a mind meld. I infer from your ignorance that you have not done this."
"Actually," Kirk said, now avoiding Ambassador Spock's eyes, "We haven't melded." He sat up suddenly and said defensively, "It's -- that's cheating. It's not what humans do in relationships."
"He is not completely human -- he certainly was not raised as a human."
"I know that but -- look, he doesn't need to know what's going on in my head. The shit that comes out of my mouth is bad enough and you're saying we can make like, a wind tunnel so he'd have to hear that all the time until he murders me? We're working just fine the way we are."
"It is a Vulcan custom," Ambassador Spock said calmly. "One that we are trained to anticipate. He has mental control to keep your thoughts at bay. It would only bring a greater intimacy --"
"Why are you bringing this up?" Kirk asked.
It was Ambassador Spock's turn to hesitate. At last he said, "I am betrothed. The ceremony will take place within the next 40 days."
"Holy shit."
"Jim," Ambassador Spock began. Kirk thought he saw Ambassador Spock's hand lift as if to touch his shoulder, but the movement was so slight he might have imagined it. "This will be where you and I, and my counterpart, separate."
Kirk's mouth dried almost instantly and he had to consciously force his mouth closed. "You -- we won't see each other anymore? Or communicate or anything? This is it?"
"Jim, I am concerned for your timeline. Certain matters have corrected themselves, such as your crew on the Enterprise and your captaincy. For the most part, your friendships and relationships are also similar. You cannot allow me to interfere in the unfolding of your destiny more than I already have." Ambassador Spock looked away from Kirk for a moment and said, "On a more selfish note -- I must begin to adjust to life in this reality, as it is clear now I will never leave it."
"Okay," Kirk replied, "That... makes sense." He swallowed the lump in his throat and added with false cheer, "I'm glad you're getting married! What's she like? Is it a she?"
"She is a Starfleet officer," Ambassador Spock said. "Her husband was recently killed."
"A widow -- nice," Kirk said hesitantly. "So if she's in Starfleet -- are you enlisting again? Or are you going to stay here? And -- do what you do?"
"Yes, Jim. I will remain on the planet and raise our child while --"
"Wait!" Kirk shrieked and gripped Ambassador Spock's forearm. "What?"
"Yes?"
"Oh. She's a widow. Not yours?"
"No, it is not my biological child. Our arrangement will allow her to pursue her career with Starfleet while I will provide her child with a permanent home and, I hope, a fair paternal figure."
"You're going to be the best dad ever." Kirk tried to avoid Ambassador Spock's glance and added, "If you stay alive for more than 15 minutes after the kid's born, you're already better than mine!" Kirk cleared his throat and said, "That was awkward. I'm sorry. It's just -- I can see why you want us out of your way, with the kid and family and everything."
"Not out of my way -- simply on your own way. Have you never considered it for yourself?"
"Uh, no. Not more specifically than, 'if I ever have a kid, I won't--', you know?"
"I do not speak only of families, Jim," Ambassador Spock said. "I note from your communications that you rely on me greatly as a supplement to your relationship with my counterpart -- one that, due to prolonged exposure, understands humans more than he does. I ask you not to do my counterpart the disservice of believing him completely emotionless."
"Oh believe me," Kirk replied, "I know he feels. In finding out that he feels, I got to find out how the Enterprise's console feels pressed into my kidneys."
"Jim, you deliberately misunderstand me."
"And for fuck's sake, we've been together two years, I know he -- no, no -- I'm not going to fight with you about you in the last conversation I'm going to have with you, okay?"
"The last I will say on the subject," Ambassador Spock said, this time a hand firmly on Kirk's forearm. "You were too busy greeting me to notice him earlier today, and the myriad of emotions he could not hide -- all negative, because you shared with me what you did not with him."
"He's jealous? Of you?"
"Let us begin to prepare our meal -- he said he would return shortly."
The next evening, Spock greet Ambassador Spock and invited him to sit as he dressed for the function at the Academy. "Jim has returned to the ship to fetch Dr. McCoy and his dress uniform," Spock informed him. "I expect he will also engage in several attempts to press his uniform and arrive at the function, late, with the appearance of a first year cadet during winter exams."
"You must teach him to use the steamer," Ambassador Spock replied.
Spock looked up from his belt, his hands tightening around each end. He had addressed Ambassador Spock in Standard English, of course, but Ambassador Spock had replied in Vulcan. Domestic Vulcan.
"Did your mother speak Vulcan?" Spock asked in the same language.
"As well as a human could hope."
Spock swallowed the lump in his throat and replied, "As did mine. She interspersed hers with Standard endearments."
"Ah," Ambassador Spock said. "My mother did not. The James Kirk I knew enjoyed that, however -- English endearments. Memorably, he explained the nuances of the term 'baby' to me. I did not hear the end of it for quite some time."
"Strange we should have parallel, yet strikingly different incidents in our histories," Spock said, but chose not to elaborate.
Spock believed he could identify Ambassador Spock's expression as one of pity. His next comment confirmed it: "I regret you did not have more time with her."
"As do I." Spock glanced down at his belt and finally adjusted it, centering the buckle precisely. He went to the closet, pulled out his jacket, and examined it on its hanger for any defects.
"I wish to inform you, as I have informed Jim, that I will be married before the end of the next lunar month," Ambassador Spock said. Spock turned around and kept his expression blank. "I also informed Jim that we would be ending our communications from that point, barring the most dire emergencies."
That was unexpected, unlike the relief that followed.
"I offer you my congratulations and my sincere hope your bonding will be successful."
Ambassador Spock nodded in return. "I will take my leave of you for the foreseeable future tomorrow. Before that, I would like to offer the opportunity to discuss what you wish. You worry, as I do, of the timeline and the effects our interactions have on its outcome. However, I may warn you of things I had hoped to be avoided -- anything you wish to ask."
"I planned on asking this before you offered," Spock began. "At our first meeting, you mentioned the friendship between myself and Jim. Would you mind explaining to me how close you were to the James Kirk you knew?"
Without hesitation, Ambassador Spock replied, "As close as it is possible for two people to be. We shared everything."
"Everything," Spock repeated.
"We did not marry openly for security reasons; however, we were bonded. I did not marry until he was presumed dead. Decades after."
"I have concluded," Spock began as he pulled on his jacket and adjusted his shirt sleeves, "That as I have lived only 28.8 of my expected 157.5 years, to bond with the first individual who has seriously had me consider the option would be illogical at best, and devastating at worst, particularly on the professional, tactical, and exploratory levels which the effects of such choices can be measured."
"That is logical," Ambassador Spock said. "Yet you appear unsettled."
Spock slipped a cufflink through a buttonhole as he stared at Ambassador Spock. "How may I correct that?"
"The uncertainty or the appearance of it?" Spock looked to his other cufflink and Ambassador Spock took that as a cue to continue. "As you have concluded not to bond with Jim based on logic and science, perhaps you should approach the possibility in the same manner."
"You suggest I should experiment on Jim... as I would on micro organisms."
"A theoretical sketch of the situation and the application of the scientific method would hardly make Jim a lab animal."
"Yes it would," Spock replied. He failed at concealing the edge of defensiveness in his voice. He slipped on his jacket and said, "I have finished dressing and will leave for the Academy promptly. I have no more questions for you. Good evening, Ambassador."
On any other night of his life, Kirk would have killed -- okay, maybe maimed -- no, probably just punched or lightly slapped -- for this chance: a night at the Vulcan Science Academy when he could speak about his specialty and the niggles in any of his minor projects on the ship.
Except that when he entered, there was only Spock. Kirk walked into the atrium of the new Academy building and immediately saw Spock stand out from the crowd. His dress uniform was royal blue, so dark it was almost black yet blue enough to give Kirk the illusion he could drown in its richness. It elongated his frame and outlined his surprisingly broad shoulders. He had more medals on his chest than Kirk. Every inch of the uniform was crisp and unwrinkled and Spock held his arms at his sides, his eyes scanning the room until they rested on Kirk.
Kirk made his way over and ignored anyone who greet him. His thoughts were multiplying and crowding his brain, creating a static that had Kirk's face flushed. He suddenly saw Spock in his element: professional, determined, attractive beyond belief, and there was an amused quirk of an eyebrow -- the high collar of Kirk's uniform jacket was suddenly too tight and trapping too much heat.
He wanted to reach Spock, grab him by the arms, and tell him he loved him -- or something similar, anyway, if not exactly that. It was one of those moments in which that word wasn't quite enough for the overpowering push of everything in his mind. Quite enough? It would never be enough; saying it, whispering it, singing it, shouting it with an amplifier at his throat from the top of a mountain down towards a city-sized stadium filled with everyone he had ever and would ever meet couldn't be enough.
"Jim, are you all right?" Spock asked. He must have noticed, Kirk thought when Spock closed the distance between them with two quick, long strides that didn't ruffle a single hair on his head.
"Yes," Kirk replied. He wondered when his voice had become so quiet.
He couldn't say it. He loved him and was at least 93% sure that it was mutual (the intensity of his own feeling prevented him from declaring it a full 100%), but saying it -- no, he couldn't say it.
Spock seemed to evaluate him for another several seconds and then asked, "Should I have my father introduce you to the linguistics specialist of the Academy's faculty?"
"In a minute," Kirk said. "Just realized I don't have a drink yet."
Kirk stepped away from him and headed to the bar. From there, he watched Sarek lead his son to a group of Vulcans and introduce him. Kirk leaned on the bar and felt the fury in his brain ebb. It was just Spock in his dress uniform. Just another night, just another function.
"I am surprised we are able to walk to my counterpart's residence," Spock announced several hours later. "Particularly, that I am not required to carry either of you."
"Didn't feel like a drinking night," Kirk replied.
"Speak for yourself," McCoy said. "Sure did feel like one, but Vulcan gin should be added to the Federation list of substances lethal to humanoid life."
They looked at Spock for a reaction. When Spock noticed, he answered, "I apologize; my silence was implicit agreement."
"Wow," McCoy said. "So how's the matchmaker been? Is it making you reconsider your own career choices, Spock?"
"Absolutely not. It is completely illogical to suppose significant, long-lasting relationships may be machinated through arbitrary points of comparison. I disagree with the Vulcan custom of arranged marriages, and with my counterpart's... venture."
"I might regret saying this," McCoy began, "But I agree with you."
"How do Vulcans find love, then?" Kirk asked. "When it's not arranged, I mean."
"In every case I have heard of -- serendipitously."
"But how's that logical?"
"I believe the logic is in remaining open to the idea that attraction may strike at any given moment, rather than attempting to exert control over the uncontrollable."
"If that came from anyone else, Spock, I'd call it romantic," McCoy remarked.
Again, Spock didn't answer. Kirk and McCoy glanced at him again, and again he replied, "Yes, I agree with you. If I were another individual and had made such a statement, you would declare it 'romantic'. However, since I have said it, you are taken aback and unsure of how to interpret me based on this additional data."
"Getting the last word with you is so new," McCoy said. "I could get used to it."
"You shouldn't," Kirk said. "He'll be back to normal before you know it."
"Do you find abnormalities in my behavior tonight?" Spock asked Kirk.
"I don't know," he answered. "You're not as combative. It's late, though. We won't hold it against you."
"Both of you are abnormal," McCoy said. "Jim, you haven't said the word 'fuck' in fifteen minutes, and Spock's rhapsodizing about love. Maybe that Vulcan gin's better than I thought."
"I've heard it's not polite to have sex while staying in someone's house," Kirk began, "But I might have to pretend I didn't know that just to shut you up, Bones."
"You mean I'll have to lie in the room next to you and pretend I can't hear the river of obscenities followed by something that sounds like an asthma attack in Vulcan? Yeah, never done that before."
"Doctor, I believe the viewscreen in your quarters, as well as your PADDs, provide ample entertainment options; it is hardly our responsibility that some curious force draws your attention to our activities. Perhaps it is a sign of your shifting proclivities from prolonged exposure to our private relationship."
"Did I get all that? Did he just call me gay?" McCoy asked Kirk.
"Did he ever," Kirk laughed.
Part Two
Fandom: Star Trek (Reboot)
Pairing: Kirk/Spock; mentions of Kirk Prime/Spock Prime
Rating: PG-13. Pretty mild!
Word Count: ~10,200 total.
Summary: AKA "The One Where Spock Prime is a Matchmaker"; but be warned that it's as much about Spock Prime and matchmaking as TOS is about modes of technology in the 23rd century. cleverboots is my most darling of betas. ♥ Followed by Calibration.
"All right, my turn!" Kirk said. He pushed the captain's chair from side to side as he said, "I'm going to New Vulcan and I'm bringing an assload of arachnids, a bushel of Bre'elian bonnets, a copious amount of Chekov, my dick, elephantitis, a fanatic case of Francophilia, greedy green goblin blood, a hat, an iota of indiscretion, and... a jelly-filled juniper tree." He beamed and looked around the bridge. "Okay, who's next!"
There were no takers, as there hadn't been for close to an hour.
"Guess it's my turn again! I'm getting so good at this game! Okay, I'm going to New Vulcan and I'm bringing an assload --"
"Captain, we're entering New Vulcan's orbit," Sulu said urgently. "Repeat: we are in New Vulcan's orbit."
"Well, we've still got some time before we beam --"
"Captain, are you really going to beam down dressed like that?" Uhura asked.
"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"
"Well. It's New Vulcan."
Kirk wasn't sure what that meant, but it was Uhura, so she probably knew what she was talking about. "Thanks, Uhura. I'll go put on something else. Is this too casual, you think -- should I class it up a little? Tone it down? How potent is this sex bomb?"
Uhura considered him for a moment and answered, "I think you should ask Spock."
"Good idea. Chekov, you have the con!"
Kirk leaped out of his chair and into the turbolift. Once the doors had closed, there was a moment of silence before the bridge crew burst into applause for Sulu and Uhura's lifesaving performances.
Kirk knocked impatiently at Spock's door until it slid open. He entered, stood in front of Spock's desk, and motioned at his clothes. "How's this look? Uhura said I might want to change. What's wrong with it?"
"I believe this counts as a diplomatic mission, in which case Starfleet dress code requires you to wear the basic uniform, unless the planet's atmosphere --"
"No shit, Spock, but this shirt's like a day old, I think I wore it..." Kirk pulled the shirt near his armpit close and sniffed. "Tuesday? Smells a little like that sandwich I had at lunch. I think it was roast beef."
Spock glanced down at his half-eaten meal and wondered what he had found appetizing about it moments before.
"Whatever, we don't have time to change anyway." Kirk slipped his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. "We're in New Vulcan's orbit. Should be beaming down whenever your buddies acknowledge us. Speaking of which -- come on! Let's go to the bridge! Bring your fruit, let's go."
"You are extremely agitated," Spock noted. "Yet not unpleasantly so."
"You're saying I'm pleasant, huh?" Kirk asked with a smirk.
"Your fits of agitation frequently accompany mortal peril or the various bureaucratic frustrations you may encounter on a daily basis." Spock paused and considered Kirk again, who was grinning and loving the attention. "Your current behavior stems from neither of those things and, therefore, does not resemble your usual agitated state."
"Come on, come to the bridge," Kirk whined. "Quicker we're there, quicker we can hail them, quicker we can say hi to your dad and see what he's up to, right? And then we can see our old friend Silek. And then all that free food at the Academy tomorrow night! And booze. Bones and I were promised hooch as far as the eye can see."
"I wish to inquire how much you and the doctor plan on drinking at that function." Spock stood up, straightened his shirt, and led Kirk out of the room towards the turbolift. "With that information, I may begin formulating strategies for excusing us with minimal impact to our reputations and that of the Enterprise."
"Depends on how boring they are, doesn't it?"
"The function is hosted by the Science Academy; there will be individuals there in your areas of interest."
"You're in my area of interest." The doors opened onto the bridge and Spock glanced to the main screen, which was filled with his father's face. "Heeeey, lookie here, it's Papa Spock," Kirk said under his breath to Spock. "Good afternoon, Ambassador Sarek!"
"Welcome, Captain Kirk. I trust your journey here was uneventful."
"Boy, you know it! When should we beam down? Also, my communications officer sent a message to a man named Silek in your city, but we didn't get a response. Do you know anything about that?"
"Silek chooses to minimize his exposure to electronic communication; I will send verbal word that he is to expect you sometime today."
"Thanks, sir, you're a pal."
Sarek still didn't blink. "I have transmitted the coordinates to your staff; you and Commander Spock may beam down when you please. I also invite your crew to take advantage of the planet's facilities during your stay in our orbit."
"We'll be down in two shakes, Ambassador, and thanks for your gracious hospitality. Kirk out!"
The viewscreen switched off and Kirk walked around the bridge railing to the captain's chair. He pressed the intercom button and shouted into the speaker, "Hey! Bones! Pack up the little black bag and your little black dress; we're beaming down to the planet."
"Now hold on a minute, Jim," Bones's rasped through the intercom. "You want me to beam down, with you and Spock presumably, to a colony of unfeeling desert-dwellers and listen to them talk about physics and bullshit for the next 48 hours?"
"I bet his dad's got a sweet couch for you to nap on," Kirk replied. Kirk looked over his shoulder at Spock, who still wouldn't give him the satisfaction of a blush or anything resembling embarrassment. "Then Spock and I are going to see that buddy of ours and you can have fun torturing the Academy people! Imagine a roomful of people cringing every time you flash those pearly teeth, huh?"
"Oh, and then you leave me alone with Spock's father while you two carouse around the planet, is that it? Count me out, Jim; I'll be at the dinner and drinks tomorrow night, but I hope you two have fun not using facial expressions."
"Suit yourself! I'll get you something pretty from the gift shop. Kirk out." Kirk turned off the intercom, took the long way to the turbolift in order to drag Spock along, and gave his final instructions to the bridge crew.
"Permission to speak freely," Spock said once the doors of the turbolift had closed.
"Spock, you don't need to ask."
"I merely wished to express my disbelief at your refering to an Ambassador's home as having 'a sweet couch'."
"Aw, Spock." Kirk threw an arm around Spock's shoulders and held him tight for a short moment. "It'll be fine."
"Particularly when that Ambassador is my father." Spock looked over at Kirk and added, "I am still unable to comprehend why your are this excited at the prospect of visiting New Vulcan. You have never expressed this much interest in the colony before."
"Haven't I?"
"Not in such an openly joyful manner."
Kirk began to whistle an unfamiliar, upbeat tune and looked at Spock only once more to give him a smirk.
"Captain, why did you wish to consult Silek?" Sarek asked far too soon into their conversation at his house. Kirk and Spock sat in adjacent chairs, Sarek across from them and totally unreadable. Kirk had to remember Sarek's face the next time he thought Spock was stonewalling him because the son had nothing on the father when it came to emoting less than a dishrag. "I only ask because he is our most gifted matchmaker; I can think of no logical reason for you to seek him."
Kirk swallowed and tried to come up with something to say besides what his brain kept screaming: oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK. 'Silek' hadn't mentioned the fucking career change.
To make matters worse -- oh so so very worse -- Sarek looked pointedly (well, as pointedly as one could while still being completely disaffected) at Spock, who, yes, returned that blank expression of his.
"Uh, well. Silek's a friend. Old friend. Knew him on Earth."
"Indeed."
"Yep. He knew my dad, too." Kirk bit the insides of his mouth, mentally apologized to his father, and concentrated on the conversation again.
"Then I will not keep you any longer. I hope I will have the pleasure of conversing with you again at the Academy's dinner and reception tomorrow."
"We'll be there with bells on, along with my Chief Medical Officer; you remember him, right? He can't wait to talk to some real scientists. Says he feels left out because what he does is so practical -- it doesn't have any of that theoretical thrill, you know?"
"I will keep that in mind when introducing him to the Academy's faculty. Good afternoon to you both."
They were at the outskirts of New Vulcan's capital city when Spock finally said the magic word: "Matchmaker."
"I know, right?" Kirk replied.
"Jim, my father thinks you are engaging his services for me."
"So let him think that. Better than the truth. 'Ha, no, Spock's way into the illogical, non-procreative but totally hot sex we've been having on the ship for the past two years; we're just going to see this matchmaker because he's actually an alternate reality version of your son. Surprise!'"
"You make a convincing argument."
Kirk and Spock approached the house Sarek had given them directions to. It stood out in its own way: Ambassador Spock was the only person they had seen outside, sitting on his shady porch with a PADD while the rest of the city was off being logical indoors. Kirk had barely experienced the original Vulcan, but Spock had told him about the thin atmosphere making the land way too hot and dry. New Vulcan, though, was a little more Earth-like: cooler, and it had some actual greenery. He'd call it an upgrade, but not loud enough for anyone to hear him.
"We're looking for Silek!" Kirk called out, his hands cupped around his mouth.
"Jim, do you--"
"Joke, Spock." Kirk jogged the distance to the porch where Ambassador Spock was standing, waiting for him.
As Spock watched Kirk jog away, his own pace slowed so he could observe his alternate self interacting with Kirk. It took only a few seconds for waves of emotions to well up inside his mind. He saw Kirk's emotions, the overwhelming excitement and joy in his face and body as Ambassador Spock greet him with a smile. Spock's own feelings -- jealousy, disappointment, envy, inadequacy, anger -- were eventually quieted.
Until Kirk laughed and reached out to wrap one arm around Ambassador Spock, and Ambassador Spock returned the gesture with both arms. They were embracing.
The day and evening with Ambassador Spock were a blur of conversation. Kirk and his counterpart laughed too much, exchanged too many stories, and attempted to engage Spock when possible.
"Wait, look, I got Spock to tell a joke -- this is the act we're going to take on the road when we retire from Starfleet," Kirk said. He sat up straight and looked at Spock manically. "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Spock tightened his lips and waited several seconds before he answered, "Insufficient data."
Kirk fell off his chair laughing.
Eventually, Spock rose from his chair and announced, "I do not wish to be rude, but I am reminded of some matters I must discuss with my father."
"Do you now?" Kirk asked with a smirk. "Like what? Tell him yes, my eyes are naturally this blue -- it's called cornflower blue on Earth."
Spock's eyes rested on Kirk for a moment and Kirk noticed the slight shift of the corner of his mouth upwards.
"I hope you will be able to dine here," Ambassador Spock said. "I have become quite good at cooking. Jim, I hope you will assist me."
"You need a hobby," Kirk laughed. "You'll be back, right?"
"I will not be long," Spock replied. He bowed his head slightly and left. Kirk watched him retreat out the door, down the porch steps, and back towards the main street of the city. Once he was out of sight, Kirk turned back to Ambassador Spock and grinned.
"So when we were over at Sarek's, he mentioned you were a matchmaker now?"
"Indeed, though perhaps not in the traditional sense. Reconstructing Vulcan's population has entailed a great deal of reorganizing the social order -- doing away with it, in most cases."
"So this guy may be a sewage worker but he counts astrophysics as one of his hobbies, that sort of thing?" Kirk asked.
"Generally, that is the idea."
"I know you're fucking great at it -- you kept me and Spock together, didn't you? And that's been great."
"Has it?"
"Well -- yeah," Kirk laughed.
"You have bonded, then?"
Kirk raised his eyebrows and replied slowly, "I guess? We're close, yeah."
Ambassador Spock raised an eyebrow in that completely Spock way and explained, "I speak of the permanent mental bond forged between two people. There is a formal ceremony, but the bond can be created during a mind meld. I infer from your ignorance that you have not done this."
"Actually," Kirk said, now avoiding Ambassador Spock's eyes, "We haven't melded." He sat up suddenly and said defensively, "It's -- that's cheating. It's not what humans do in relationships."
"He is not completely human -- he certainly was not raised as a human."
"I know that but -- look, he doesn't need to know what's going on in my head. The shit that comes out of my mouth is bad enough and you're saying we can make like, a wind tunnel so he'd have to hear that all the time until he murders me? We're working just fine the way we are."
"It is a Vulcan custom," Ambassador Spock said calmly. "One that we are trained to anticipate. He has mental control to keep your thoughts at bay. It would only bring a greater intimacy --"
"Why are you bringing this up?" Kirk asked.
It was Ambassador Spock's turn to hesitate. At last he said, "I am betrothed. The ceremony will take place within the next 40 days."
"Holy shit."
"Jim," Ambassador Spock began. Kirk thought he saw Ambassador Spock's hand lift as if to touch his shoulder, but the movement was so slight he might have imagined it. "This will be where you and I, and my counterpart, separate."
Kirk's mouth dried almost instantly and he had to consciously force his mouth closed. "You -- we won't see each other anymore? Or communicate or anything? This is it?"
"Jim, I am concerned for your timeline. Certain matters have corrected themselves, such as your crew on the Enterprise and your captaincy. For the most part, your friendships and relationships are also similar. You cannot allow me to interfere in the unfolding of your destiny more than I already have." Ambassador Spock looked away from Kirk for a moment and said, "On a more selfish note -- I must begin to adjust to life in this reality, as it is clear now I will never leave it."
"Okay," Kirk replied, "That... makes sense." He swallowed the lump in his throat and added with false cheer, "I'm glad you're getting married! What's she like? Is it a she?"
"She is a Starfleet officer," Ambassador Spock said. "Her husband was recently killed."
"A widow -- nice," Kirk said hesitantly. "So if she's in Starfleet -- are you enlisting again? Or are you going to stay here? And -- do what you do?"
"Yes, Jim. I will remain on the planet and raise our child while --"
"Wait!" Kirk shrieked and gripped Ambassador Spock's forearm. "What?"
"Yes?"
"Oh. She's a widow. Not yours?"
"No, it is not my biological child. Our arrangement will allow her to pursue her career with Starfleet while I will provide her child with a permanent home and, I hope, a fair paternal figure."
"You're going to be the best dad ever." Kirk tried to avoid Ambassador Spock's glance and added, "If you stay alive for more than 15 minutes after the kid's born, you're already better than mine!" Kirk cleared his throat and said, "That was awkward. I'm sorry. It's just -- I can see why you want us out of your way, with the kid and family and everything."
"Not out of my way -- simply on your own way. Have you never considered it for yourself?"
"Uh, no. Not more specifically than, 'if I ever have a kid, I won't--', you know?"
"I do not speak only of families, Jim," Ambassador Spock said. "I note from your communications that you rely on me greatly as a supplement to your relationship with my counterpart -- one that, due to prolonged exposure, understands humans more than he does. I ask you not to do my counterpart the disservice of believing him completely emotionless."
"Oh believe me," Kirk replied, "I know he feels. In finding out that he feels, I got to find out how the Enterprise's console feels pressed into my kidneys."
"Jim, you deliberately misunderstand me."
"And for fuck's sake, we've been together two years, I know he -- no, no -- I'm not going to fight with you about you in the last conversation I'm going to have with you, okay?"
"The last I will say on the subject," Ambassador Spock said, this time a hand firmly on Kirk's forearm. "You were too busy greeting me to notice him earlier today, and the myriad of emotions he could not hide -- all negative, because you shared with me what you did not with him."
"He's jealous? Of you?"
"Let us begin to prepare our meal -- he said he would return shortly."
The next evening, Spock greet Ambassador Spock and invited him to sit as he dressed for the function at the Academy. "Jim has returned to the ship to fetch Dr. McCoy and his dress uniform," Spock informed him. "I expect he will also engage in several attempts to press his uniform and arrive at the function, late, with the appearance of a first year cadet during winter exams."
"You must teach him to use the steamer," Ambassador Spock replied.
Spock looked up from his belt, his hands tightening around each end. He had addressed Ambassador Spock in Standard English, of course, but Ambassador Spock had replied in Vulcan. Domestic Vulcan.
"Did your mother speak Vulcan?" Spock asked in the same language.
"As well as a human could hope."
Spock swallowed the lump in his throat and replied, "As did mine. She interspersed hers with Standard endearments."
"Ah," Ambassador Spock said. "My mother did not. The James Kirk I knew enjoyed that, however -- English endearments. Memorably, he explained the nuances of the term 'baby' to me. I did not hear the end of it for quite some time."
"Strange we should have parallel, yet strikingly different incidents in our histories," Spock said, but chose not to elaborate.
Spock believed he could identify Ambassador Spock's expression as one of pity. His next comment confirmed it: "I regret you did not have more time with her."
"As do I." Spock glanced down at his belt and finally adjusted it, centering the buckle precisely. He went to the closet, pulled out his jacket, and examined it on its hanger for any defects.
"I wish to inform you, as I have informed Jim, that I will be married before the end of the next lunar month," Ambassador Spock said. Spock turned around and kept his expression blank. "I also informed Jim that we would be ending our communications from that point, barring the most dire emergencies."
That was unexpected, unlike the relief that followed.
"I offer you my congratulations and my sincere hope your bonding will be successful."
Ambassador Spock nodded in return. "I will take my leave of you for the foreseeable future tomorrow. Before that, I would like to offer the opportunity to discuss what you wish. You worry, as I do, of the timeline and the effects our interactions have on its outcome. However, I may warn you of things I had hoped to be avoided -- anything you wish to ask."
"I planned on asking this before you offered," Spock began. "At our first meeting, you mentioned the friendship between myself and Jim. Would you mind explaining to me how close you were to the James Kirk you knew?"
Without hesitation, Ambassador Spock replied, "As close as it is possible for two people to be. We shared everything."
"Everything," Spock repeated.
"We did not marry openly for security reasons; however, we were bonded. I did not marry until he was presumed dead. Decades after."
"I have concluded," Spock began as he pulled on his jacket and adjusted his shirt sleeves, "That as I have lived only 28.8 of my expected 157.5 years, to bond with the first individual who has seriously had me consider the option would be illogical at best, and devastating at worst, particularly on the professional, tactical, and exploratory levels which the effects of such choices can be measured."
"That is logical," Ambassador Spock said. "Yet you appear unsettled."
Spock slipped a cufflink through a buttonhole as he stared at Ambassador Spock. "How may I correct that?"
"The uncertainty or the appearance of it?" Spock looked to his other cufflink and Ambassador Spock took that as a cue to continue. "As you have concluded not to bond with Jim based on logic and science, perhaps you should approach the possibility in the same manner."
"You suggest I should experiment on Jim... as I would on micro organisms."
"A theoretical sketch of the situation and the application of the scientific method would hardly make Jim a lab animal."
"Yes it would," Spock replied. He failed at concealing the edge of defensiveness in his voice. He slipped on his jacket and said, "I have finished dressing and will leave for the Academy promptly. I have no more questions for you. Good evening, Ambassador."
On any other night of his life, Kirk would have killed -- okay, maybe maimed -- no, probably just punched or lightly slapped -- for this chance: a night at the Vulcan Science Academy when he could speak about his specialty and the niggles in any of his minor projects on the ship.
Except that when he entered, there was only Spock. Kirk walked into the atrium of the new Academy building and immediately saw Spock stand out from the crowd. His dress uniform was royal blue, so dark it was almost black yet blue enough to give Kirk the illusion he could drown in its richness. It elongated his frame and outlined his surprisingly broad shoulders. He had more medals on his chest than Kirk. Every inch of the uniform was crisp and unwrinkled and Spock held his arms at his sides, his eyes scanning the room until they rested on Kirk.
Kirk made his way over and ignored anyone who greet him. His thoughts were multiplying and crowding his brain, creating a static that had Kirk's face flushed. He suddenly saw Spock in his element: professional, determined, attractive beyond belief, and there was an amused quirk of an eyebrow -- the high collar of Kirk's uniform jacket was suddenly too tight and trapping too much heat.
He wanted to reach Spock, grab him by the arms, and tell him he loved him -- or something similar, anyway, if not exactly that. It was one of those moments in which that word wasn't quite enough for the overpowering push of everything in his mind. Quite enough? It would never be enough; saying it, whispering it, singing it, shouting it with an amplifier at his throat from the top of a mountain down towards a city-sized stadium filled with everyone he had ever and would ever meet couldn't be enough.
"Jim, are you all right?" Spock asked. He must have noticed, Kirk thought when Spock closed the distance between them with two quick, long strides that didn't ruffle a single hair on his head.
"Yes," Kirk replied. He wondered when his voice had become so quiet.
He couldn't say it. He loved him and was at least 93% sure that it was mutual (the intensity of his own feeling prevented him from declaring it a full 100%), but saying it -- no, he couldn't say it.
Spock seemed to evaluate him for another several seconds and then asked, "Should I have my father introduce you to the linguistics specialist of the Academy's faculty?"
"In a minute," Kirk said. "Just realized I don't have a drink yet."
Kirk stepped away from him and headed to the bar. From there, he watched Sarek lead his son to a group of Vulcans and introduce him. Kirk leaned on the bar and felt the fury in his brain ebb. It was just Spock in his dress uniform. Just another night, just another function.
"I am surprised we are able to walk to my counterpart's residence," Spock announced several hours later. "Particularly, that I am not required to carry either of you."
"Didn't feel like a drinking night," Kirk replied.
"Speak for yourself," McCoy said. "Sure did feel like one, but Vulcan gin should be added to the Federation list of substances lethal to humanoid life."
They looked at Spock for a reaction. When Spock noticed, he answered, "I apologize; my silence was implicit agreement."
"Wow," McCoy said. "So how's the matchmaker been? Is it making you reconsider your own career choices, Spock?"
"Absolutely not. It is completely illogical to suppose significant, long-lasting relationships may be machinated through arbitrary points of comparison. I disagree with the Vulcan custom of arranged marriages, and with my counterpart's... venture."
"I might regret saying this," McCoy began, "But I agree with you."
"How do Vulcans find love, then?" Kirk asked. "When it's not arranged, I mean."
"In every case I have heard of -- serendipitously."
"But how's that logical?"
"I believe the logic is in remaining open to the idea that attraction may strike at any given moment, rather than attempting to exert control over the uncontrollable."
"If that came from anyone else, Spock, I'd call it romantic," McCoy remarked.
Again, Spock didn't answer. Kirk and McCoy glanced at him again, and again he replied, "Yes, I agree with you. If I were another individual and had made such a statement, you would declare it 'romantic'. However, since I have said it, you are taken aback and unsure of how to interpret me based on this additional data."
"Getting the last word with you is so new," McCoy said. "I could get used to it."
"You shouldn't," Kirk said. "He'll be back to normal before you know it."
"Do you find abnormalities in my behavior tonight?" Spock asked Kirk.
"I don't know," he answered. "You're not as combative. It's late, though. We won't hold it against you."
"Both of you are abnormal," McCoy said. "Jim, you haven't said the word 'fuck' in fifteen minutes, and Spock's rhapsodizing about love. Maybe that Vulcan gin's better than I thought."
"I've heard it's not polite to have sex while staying in someone's house," Kirk began, "But I might have to pretend I didn't know that just to shut you up, Bones."
"You mean I'll have to lie in the room next to you and pretend I can't hear the river of obscenities followed by something that sounds like an asthma attack in Vulcan? Yeah, never done that before."
"Doctor, I believe the viewscreen in your quarters, as well as your PADDs, provide ample entertainment options; it is hardly our responsibility that some curious force draws your attention to our activities. Perhaps it is a sign of your shifting proclivities from prolonged exposure to our private relationship."
"Did I get all that? Did he just call me gay?" McCoy asked Kirk.
"Did he ever," Kirk laughed.
Part Two