Fic: Starting Over (Scott/Logan) Chapter 7
Title: Starting Over (7/13)
Fandom: X-Men
Pairing: Scott/Logan
Rating: NC-17.
Word Count: 4,993
Monday morning. Those were two words Scott had truly dreaded when he'd heard the alarm go off beside the bed. While he'd hoped to forget about the real world for a while after he and Logan had reconnected, there was something about knowing what was expected of him that had prompted Scott out of bed into the shower. Logan was still asleep when Scott had gotten ready for work, which was undoubtedly for the best given that their weekend together had proven to be far more exhausting then either had anticipated. Although there was still so much for them to explore with one another, Scott realized that they would take it one day at a time. That was the beauty of having all the time in the world to make up for what they'd lost.
"And make up for it we will," Logan had promised offering to allow Scott a night to plan indulging his perfect fantasy for them together. At first Scott had thought that Logan was trying to placate him, but the more Logan discussed Scott's plans for their new love making experience, the more Scott found himself eagerly looking forward to making the experience memorable for them. Hell, it was enough for Scott to ponder the night together as Scott forced himself to go back to the office. He'd left Logan a note and some breakfast before taking the journey into the one place Scott was certain he no longer wanted to be.
"Morning Summers," one of his coworkers greeted him with a smile.
"Morning," Scott nodded quietly making his way to his office in the hopes of avoiding any embarrassing small talk with any of his co-workers after his encounter with Wendy. Unfortunately things were going to hit a snag, he realized when he spotted Wendy standing outside of his office door looking rather forlorn.
"Can we talk?" she asked quietly, her brown eyes searching his through the fluorescent light overhead.
"I actually have to get ready for a meeting with your father," Scott cleared his throat knowing only too well that had Wendy met with his boss and told him the truth of what had taken place, then Scott would undoubtedly be out of a job. Then again he'd already anticipated as much when he'd left the house. Flirting with the daughter of the CEO had been a mistake especially when Scott didn't mean it. He knew that Wendy seemed like she had an interest and while he hadn't gone out of his way to encourage it, he hadn't discouraged it as much as he should have either. Knowing that Scott felt an uneasiness build in the pit of his stomach. He cleared his throat and attempted to meet Wendy's eyes again.
"I didn't tell him if that's what you're worried about," she spoke up with a gulp. "He doesn't know that you…well…he doesn't realize that you're…I mean it's none of his business…"
"No, it's not," Scott nodded in agreement.
"It's not mine either," Wendy offered up a halfhearted smile, her eyes still weary and disappointed, "I mean this Logan guy…he's a little rough around the edges, isn't he?"
"He's a bit blunt in his approach at times," Scott admitted thinking about the man he loved, "If you get to know him, you'll see there's a lot more to the picture then a first glance."
"I'll take your word for it," she grumbled under her breath. Catching the way Scott glared at her, she cleared her throat and spoke up again, "I mean what I'm trying to say is, well, I'm sorry. That was very presumptuous of me to show up at your place like that and…"
"It's already forgotten," Scott lied, doing his best to paint on a fake smile. Being polite was what was expected and in doing so it would make life run more smoothly.
"No it's not, but hopefully one day you and I can be able to spend time together again without you worrying about me ripping my clothes off," Wendy tucked a piece of her long, dark hair behind her ear nervously. "That was pretty stupid of me."
"Hey, if the right guy comes around I'm certain he'll eat it up," Scott attempted to keep things light between them, "I mean most men would be very excited about something like that."
"Yeah, well I have a knack for falling for the wrong ones who are either taken or…" her words tapered off, "well taken…"
"You'll meet the right guy one day and when you do, he's going to make you forget you ever thought I was worth a second glance," Scott mouthed with a genuine smile. He felt her ease returning as she raised her head up to smile at him as well.
"God I hope so because you have no idea how hard it is being out there and meeting all the wrong people," she announced with a hint of a groan in her voice, "I mean it's like one thing after another and I'm starting to think I'll never find him."
"You'll find him when you least expect it," Scott promised reaching out to give her an embrace, "Trust me."
"You make it sound so easy," she returned the hug, squeezing her arms around him tightly.
"I never said it would be easy, but it'll be worthwhile," Scott added releasing her with a small nod.
"I sure hope so," she nodded taking a step back and placing a distance between them, "Well, I should probably get going…"
"Yeah, I um…I have to meet with your father and…" Scott cleared his throat and shifted on his feet.
"Don't let him give you hell," Wendy suggested giving him a long once over before turning away. She started to walk off leaving Scott a few moments to enter his office and pull himself together. He unlocked the door when he heard her call out to him once again, "And Scott?"
"Yes?" he glanced over his shoulder.
"Make sure this Logan guy treats you right or else I'll have to claw his eyes out," Wendy mouthed in a mocking tone, her eyes sparking with mischief.
"I don't think that's going to be a problem," Scott assured her, stepping into his office preparing to begin the day anew.
xxxx
"Excuse me," a voice called out to Wendy once she'd entered the lounge area after her discussion with Scott. While Wendy had plenty of other things she'd hoped to say, she had caved offering up a weak, politically correct response to the disappointment she'd felt in discovering that she and Scott could never be together. It had haunted her from the moment she'd seen Logan at his place and now, well now all she wanted to do was drown her sorrows in chocolate and a good, indulgent coffee. However, her quest would be put on hold when she spotted a tall, slender blonde standing before her with a curious expression.
"Yes?" Wendy questioned watching the woman closely and wondering if she was a temp.
"I was wondering if you could help me," the woman stated plainly, "You see I'm looking for…"
"Human resources is two floors down and if you check in with them, they should be able to sort you out," Wendy turned her back to the woman and reached for the coffee pot.
"I wasn't actually looking for human resources," the blonde explained impatiently, "as I was here to talk with you specifically."
"Me?" Wendy spun around on her heel. "Why?"
"I couldn't help, but notice the exchange you had with Scott Summers," the woman entered the room with a cool, breezy confidence in her movement, "and I was hoping you wouldn't mind if we had a little girl chat with one another."
"You know Scott?" Wendy's eyes widened with surprise.
"For a while," the blonde nodded quickly.
"Then you're aware of the fact that he's off limits," Wendy couldn't help, but roll her eyes, "although if you didn't know it before you'll see it now with that dreadful Logan guy he's dating. I mean really, sometimes you can see it, but other times you can never tell…"
"No I suppose you can't," the blonde purred with delight knowing full well that even though Wendy was an insipid, foolish woman with a fountain of free information, Wendy's loss would truly be her gain now that she was certain she'd found the right person to give her everything she needed to move in for the kill once and for all.
xxxx
Logan yawned uncontrollably having found that Scott's home was increasingly boring without Scott in it. At first Logan had opted to find a way to enjoy his time alone, hoping to welcome the solitude after he'd settled in for the breakfast Scott had prepared for him, but it wasn't at all relaxing. First he'd gone into the gym hoping to get a workout in, but he'd been damn distracted by the boxing ring given that the scent of sex still lingered in the air after his night with Scott. Then he'd gone into the weapons room hoping to get a grasp on what Scott had been obsessing over. He'd opted to check out some of the books Scott had been trying to read up on, but Logan had managed to knock over a vase without realizing it. Unfortunately unlike the knife Logan had taunted Scott about being duped on, the vase had been real, which Logan decided was not a good thing. He'd quickly scooted out of the room, making his way into the entertainment area to settle in and watch a game on television. That, however, was turning into a bore now that Logan was stretched up on the couch, feet on the coffee table, which he was certain that Summers would strongly disapprove of.
"Just as well," he decided contemplating the expression on Scott's face to see Logan stretched out, scuffing the table and puffing on his cigars in an attempt to enjoy himself. Logan chuckled to himself knowing it would fuel a debate. Scott would get irritated by Logan's blatant disregard for his property and then after, well perhaps it would spark something a little more interesting. Reaching for his cigar and pulling it from his lips, Logan smirked at the thought.
"You always look your best when you're irritated Summers," Logan decided puffing on his cigar again when he noticed a photo across the room near the television. While it had been tucked away behind one of the colorful vases Scott seemed to be fond of, there was no mistaking it. Walking over to the photo, Logan reached for the frame and realized it was a photo taken years earlier with Scott and Charles. It was from Scott's youth where the two were on a pier with one another, Scott proudly displaying an oversized fish he must've caught on their day out with one another. Seeing the photo made Logan mournful, remembering the end of the Professor. It haunted him still knowing that everything that they'd all come to expect in their lives was no more. Setting the photo down Logan decided maybe he would hit the gym after all, but before he could follow up on the notion he heard the sound of his cell phone ringing.
Stopping mid-movement, Logan couldn't help, but admit he wasn't all that fond of the thing. It never really made much sense to him with all of it's techy upgrades, but when he'd left the school he'd promised to keep it with him just in case. Of course just in case hadn't proved to happen for Logan up until this point. Everyone understood how clear Logan was on his need to leave. They hadn't liked it, but they refused to question him. Some had expressed a deeper interest in doing so, but kept quiet under some misguided notion of loyalty or even fear. That in itself had given Logan much needed space. Still in hearing the cell phone ring, Logan realized it couldn't be Scott. That meant…
With a heavy feeling in his chest Logan walked over to the counter reaching for his cell phone. He hesitated before finally answering in a neutral tone.
"What?" he questioned with a hint of gruffness in his voice.
"I see some things never change," Storm's voice groaned on the other end of the line.
"I'm not one for pleasantries or receiving phone calls when I told you that this wasn't something I wanted to use," Logan looked around Scott's entertainment room. If Storm had any idea where Logan was now at the very moment, he was certain everything would change. Everyone would be eager to seek out Scott, hoping to pull him back to the life he'd left behind, yet…
"Where are you?" Storm questioned breaking through his thoughts.
"With a friend," Logan answered cryptically.
"You don't have any friends Logan," she added with disbelief.
"I do now," Logan couldn't help, but roll his eyes, "and I have to go. We're about to settle in for tea and crumpets."
"Something horrible has happened," Storm blurted out, ignoring the blatant sarcasm in his tone. She seemed stressed, fearful as she continued to speak, "there was an attack at the school. We had a break in and…"
"Are the children…" Logan hesitated feeling a pang of worry consume him, "are they alright?"
"They're shaken," Storm explained nervously, "but no one was hurt in the attack. It's just…"
"Just what?" Logan tensed up already knowing her answer.
"We need you back here Logan. I need your help in figuring this out and…" she begged of him, her concerns rising in the moment.
"There are plenty of people there who can do more for you than I can…" Logan attempted to seek an out to her request.
"There aren't as many as there once were Logan," her voice was tired, desperate and as Logan's gaze returned to the photo of Scott and the Professor together with one another, guilt tugged at his insides. He contemplated telling her the good news about Scott, but finally resigned himself to silence, refusing to bring that upon Scott now that Scott had his own demons haunting him.
As much as it pained Logan to think about what he must do, he closed his eyes tightly and tried to find a way to come about the solution to everyone's problems, "I'll head back tomorrow."
"Thank you Logan. You have no idea how much we need you right now," Storm answered grateful for his understanding.
"Sure," Logan dropped his head somberly knowing only too well that it was the beginning of the end to the escape he and Scott had made for themselves. Life was about to change all over again.
xxxx
Scott parked his beamer in the garage knowing only too well that he was ready to unwind for a while over dinner with Logan. While he'd normally take his time in preparing something, Scott had opted to simply pick up Thai food on his way home in the hopes of giving himself a little more free time with Logan. At work Scott had thought long and hard about his plans and he couldn't wait to share them with Logan. Of course halfway home Scott realized Logan might have protests to Thai, so he'd made sure to pick up a burger and steak fries for Logan as well should he deem Thai too prissy.
"He'll love it," Scott mouthed to himself, shuffling the bags in his arms.
Walking into the house from the garage, Scott thought about his surprise for Logan. He felt himself bristling with enthusiasm, eager to share the details of their next big rendezvous, but much to his dismay the house was darkened when Scott entered. Frowning Scott made his way to the kitchen, knowing the place without the benefit of sight. It was one of the things that Scott had practiced time and time again given his past. Yes, maybe now he could see the world without blinders on or in his case a visor, but Scott had never forgotten his beginnings. He'd never gotten over that helplessness he'd been pushed into involuntarily in the past. It was what had kept him safe, what had kept him on his toes and now that he was weaving through the hallway in his home, he knew it would be the key to keeping him from ever returning to that miserable place ever again.
"Logan?" Scott questioned, his voice rumbling through the darkness. His words were met by silence, his worries expanding when it was clear Logan wasn't anywhere near the kitchen. Setting the bags down Scott reached for the light switch. It illuminated the hallway leading to the bedroom. Walking towards the light, Scott wondered if Logan was asleep, but his questions were soon answered by a faint rumble of a whisper in the great room.
"I'm in here," Logan finally answered with a dark undertone, his words sending shivers through Scott's body. Turning towards the source of the sound Scott discovered Logan seated upon the couch with a bottle of vodka in hand. He was lost in contemplation, clearly in another state of mind when Scott approached him worriedly.
"What's wrong?" Scott questioned straight to the point now that Logan's demeanor put Scott on edge.
"There was an attack at the school," Logan admitted painfully, "someone was there…"
"How-how do you know?" Scott questioned quietly, his thoughts returning to the life he left behind.
"Storm called me," Logan nodded to the phone he'd tossed onto the coffee table earlier.
"She wants you to return," Scott sensed the reasoning behind Logan's disposition.
Logan nodded, "I told her I would."
"Because she needs you," Scott deduced feeling disappointment linger over him.
"She needs us Scott," Logan raised his chin up just enough to meet Scott's concerned blue eyes, "Things haven't been the same since…"
"I can't," Scott replied guiltily, "you know as well as I do that…"
"It doesn't matter what's changed," Logan opened his mouth in a half-hearted protest "We both know what we got ourselves into when we started all of this and…"
"I can't do it," Scott frowned, shaking his head in refusal. Worry crept in over his brow, "Did you tell her that I was…?"
"No," Logan shook his head and sighed, "It wasn't my place."
"I see," Scott decided taking a seat beside Logan on the couch, "so where does that leave us?"
"I'm needed there," Logan answered quietly, "I can't pretend that I can walk away from obligation."
"You didn't have any trouble with that in the past," Scott added with a small, disapproving frown.
"You're right," Logan agreed raising his chin up to meet Scott's eyes again, "but then again that was before I met a man who taught me that anything worth having in life was worth fighting for."
"Logan," Scott opened his mouth to say something more.
"I'm not going to force your hand in this Scott, but we both know this life isn't for you," Logan looked around the dimly lit room they were seated in, "Sure, it's a good place to hide from everything, but it's not who you are. It's not what you've always dreamt about with all your ideals and hopes for saving the world around you."
"Logan don't," Scott frowned rising up off of the couch to pace around the room, "you know as well as I do that if you take me back there it's only going to make things worse."
"They've already lost so much, why lead them to believe that there still isn't hope?" Logan questioned painfully. "Why not let them see that…?"
"That their fearless leader is a washed up has been who couldn't live up to their expectations because he wasn't strong enough to fight having his very existence being ripped away from him?" Scott questioned in a pitiful wail. "Logan, I'd only serve as a reminder of all their failures."
"No," Logan rose up to step in closer to Scott, "you're a miracle. You're proof that they still exist in the world."
"Hardly," Scott argued with him, "I'm not going to be able to help them…"
"Knowing you're still alive is something that can pull them together again," Logan reached out to touch Scott's shoulder. "If you return with me…"
"I can't," Scott dropped his head remorsefully, "It's not my world any longer."
"Only because you're afraid to admit to yourself that you still belong in it with your friends, with the people who love you," Logan continued in an impassioned tone, "it's time to stop hating yourself for what happened with Jean. It wasn't your fault. None of this is."
"She did this to me because of us Logan," Scott pushed away from him, finally feeling forced to face the one thing he'd fought to own up to. "Knowing how I felt about you set her off in a downward spiral. She was angry, scorned by the fact that I loved you and…"
"No she wasn't Scott. She had something brewing inside of her for years before it came crashing down around her. What you and I felt for one another was…" Logan opened his mouth in protest.
"The final straw," Scott blurted out clenching his fists at his sides tightly, "It broke her Logan and I knew when she kissed me, when she ripped my powers away from me in that moment it would be my cross to bear. It's because of me-because I was weak and unable to convey who I truly was that she couldn't stop herself. It's my fault that everyone suffered, that he's dead…"
"The Professor," Logan realized thinking about the bond Charles and Scott had with one another during the time Logan had been at the school.
"He was the only father I'd ever really known Logan. He gave everything to try to help me, to try to pull me from the fear, but I couldn't control it. I couldn't stop myself from feeling the way I did. I lied to myself about what I was and because of that Jean lost her mind. She went over the edge and murdered him because I…" Scott confessed unable to hide the tears burning behind his eyes. "I failed them all."
"No, you didn't," Logan reached out to embrace Scott. He pulled the smaller man into his arms completely, "you didn't cause any of this Scott. This was brought on by the lies that the Professor lead Jean to believe in. They put a wall up in her mind and it was only a matter of time before it came crashing down over her…"
"I should've been there to stop it. I should've been stronger," Scott confessed tearfully, his resolve slipping away. He buried his head in Logan's chest overtaken by sobs, "there's not a day that goes by where I don't wish I could change things. If only I hadn't left that day-if only I'd confided in someone about my dreams…"
"We had no idea," Logan smoothed his fingers out over Scott's spine, "but now we can make things right. Now we can go back and be stronger. We can start to heal."
"I can't go back," Scott shook his head in refusal, "I can't face them knowing what I do about all that's happened."
"They wouldn't blame you Scott," Logan's eyes searched through the darkness to see the misery in Scott's blue eyes. Reaching out to touch the side of Scott's face, Logan spoke up in a soothing tone, "They would understand what you've been through."
"I don't even understand it," Scott closed his eyes tightly, "I can't explain what's happening to me."
"You don't have to," Logan leaned forward to press a kiss upon Scott's forehead, "because we'll face this together."
"No," Scott finally decided stiffening in Logan's arms, "you'll have to brave this one on your own. My place is here now."
"You don't mean that," Logan's heart sank in his chest.
"I don't have any other options Logan," Scott bit back on his emotions, doing his best to be firm in his resolve, but Logan knew better. He could smell the confusion carrying over Scott, the internal conflict that was tearing Scott to pieces before him. Refusing wasn't what Scott wanted, but it was what Scott felt he needed to do.
"So where does this leave us?" Logan was almost afraid to ask.
"You help them, do what you need to do and when the threat is over…," Scott's words tapered off, uneasiness surrounding him.
"I'll return to you," Logan cupped Scott's face in his hands, "I'll come back for you."
Scott nodded silently, but Logan knew that Scott wasn't so convinced.
"Scott," Logan pushed his fingers through Scott's dark hair, coaxing Scott to meet his eyes again, "I mean it."
"I know you think you do, but we're both living two different lives now Logan," Scott choked up on his emotions, disappointment and sadness filling the room and causing Logan's stomach to twist in realization. As much as they'd wanted a life together, it seemed they were at a crossroads-one that they may never recover from.
"I will be back," Logan promised wrapping Scott up in his arms completely. He bent down, kissing Scott as if his life depended on it. Their tongues tangled, bodies pressed into one another and in that moment Logan found himself never wanting to leave. Obligation meant nothing without the man he loved, yet in knowing Scott's nature, Logan realized should he stay, then they'd both regret not helping the others.
"When are you leaving?" Scott finally questioned breathless and tearful when they parted. He choked up, trying to hide his emotions, but Logan wouldn't ignore them. Instead of poking fun at Scott as he'd done in the past, he reached out to brush a tear from his cheek tenderly.
"I have a flight in the morning," Logan confessed quietly, his heart breaking with each word that spilled from his lips.
"It's just as well," Scott nodded, disappointment hanging over his every syllable, "I have a conference out of town that I'm going to be going to."
"A conference?" Logan's brow perked up with confusion.
"It was part of my surprise," Scott explained regrettably, "I was going to whisk us away to paradise where we could be lose ourselves for a little while. It was all a part of the fantasy…"
"The fantasy," Logan repeated brushing his thumb over Scott's bottom lip gingerly.
"That's right," Scott nodded with a tiny gleam in his eyes, "I had us ready to hop on a red eye later tonight after I cashed in on that promise you made me."
"Promise," Logan added knowingly remembering only too well the things he and Scott had discussed with one another.
"I guess we'll just have to put that on hold as well," Scott detangled himself from Logan's arms, turning away to head towards his bedroom, "I have to pack. I have a flight to catch."
"Scott wait," Logan reached out to Scott, pulling him back into the hallway with him. Wrapping his arms around Scott's body, Logan stepped forward pressing his chest into Scott's back. He could feel the tension surrounding Scott, the culmination of exhaustion and realization overtaking what should've been time well spent with one another. Instead of planning their lives together, they were preparing to say goodbye again, to part for an uncertain amount of time, left to pretend that their relationship was no longer alive and thriving. The thought tore Logan to pieces as he squeezed Summers tighter than before, "we don't have to end it this way."
"Logan, we both know that…" Scott's words tapered off, his voice weak and miserable when Logan's hand pressed over the front of his chest.
"I'm a man of my word," Logan whispered against the back of Scott's neck, his words caressing Scott's body in a tender brush. Closing his arms around Scott tighter than before, he rest his chin on Scott's shoulder, "I'm not leaving you without living up to that promise."
"Logan," Scott tipped his head up, his blue eyes filled with uncertainty.
"It might not be the fantasy you had planned for us, but we have tonight," Logan coaxed Scott to turn around in his arms, "We might be short on time, but I'm yours. I'm your Wolverine and whatever you want from me, I'll give it freely."
"Logan," Scott curled his lip to say something more, to offer Logan an out to their promises for one another.
"We both need this because it's going to be hell without you Summers," Logan confessed leaning in to kiss Scott once more now that the world was changing again bringing their relationship to the ultimate test now that their paths would take them to new directions without each other.
Fandom: X-Men
Pairing: Scott/Logan
Rating: NC-17.
Word Count: 4,993
Monday morning. Those were two words Scott had truly dreaded when he'd heard the alarm go off beside the bed. While he'd hoped to forget about the real world for a while after he and Logan had reconnected, there was something about knowing what was expected of him that had prompted Scott out of bed into the shower. Logan was still asleep when Scott had gotten ready for work, which was undoubtedly for the best given that their weekend together had proven to be far more exhausting then either had anticipated. Although there was still so much for them to explore with one another, Scott realized that they would take it one day at a time. That was the beauty of having all the time in the world to make up for what they'd lost.
"And make up for it we will," Logan had promised offering to allow Scott a night to plan indulging his perfect fantasy for them together. At first Scott had thought that Logan was trying to placate him, but the more Logan discussed Scott's plans for their new love making experience, the more Scott found himself eagerly looking forward to making the experience memorable for them. Hell, it was enough for Scott to ponder the night together as Scott forced himself to go back to the office. He'd left Logan a note and some breakfast before taking the journey into the one place Scott was certain he no longer wanted to be.
"Morning Summers," one of his coworkers greeted him with a smile.
"Morning," Scott nodded quietly making his way to his office in the hopes of avoiding any embarrassing small talk with any of his co-workers after his encounter with Wendy. Unfortunately things were going to hit a snag, he realized when he spotted Wendy standing outside of his office door looking rather forlorn.
"Can we talk?" she asked quietly, her brown eyes searching his through the fluorescent light overhead.
"I actually have to get ready for a meeting with your father," Scott cleared his throat knowing only too well that had Wendy met with his boss and told him the truth of what had taken place, then Scott would undoubtedly be out of a job. Then again he'd already anticipated as much when he'd left the house. Flirting with the daughter of the CEO had been a mistake especially when Scott didn't mean it. He knew that Wendy seemed like she had an interest and while he hadn't gone out of his way to encourage it, he hadn't discouraged it as much as he should have either. Knowing that Scott felt an uneasiness build in the pit of his stomach. He cleared his throat and attempted to meet Wendy's eyes again.
"I didn't tell him if that's what you're worried about," she spoke up with a gulp. "He doesn't know that you…well…he doesn't realize that you're…I mean it's none of his business…"
"No, it's not," Scott nodded in agreement.
"It's not mine either," Wendy offered up a halfhearted smile, her eyes still weary and disappointed, "I mean this Logan guy…he's a little rough around the edges, isn't he?"
"He's a bit blunt in his approach at times," Scott admitted thinking about the man he loved, "If you get to know him, you'll see there's a lot more to the picture then a first glance."
"I'll take your word for it," she grumbled under her breath. Catching the way Scott glared at her, she cleared her throat and spoke up again, "I mean what I'm trying to say is, well, I'm sorry. That was very presumptuous of me to show up at your place like that and…"
"It's already forgotten," Scott lied, doing his best to paint on a fake smile. Being polite was what was expected and in doing so it would make life run more smoothly.
"No it's not, but hopefully one day you and I can be able to spend time together again without you worrying about me ripping my clothes off," Wendy tucked a piece of her long, dark hair behind her ear nervously. "That was pretty stupid of me."
"Hey, if the right guy comes around I'm certain he'll eat it up," Scott attempted to keep things light between them, "I mean most men would be very excited about something like that."
"Yeah, well I have a knack for falling for the wrong ones who are either taken or…" her words tapered off, "well taken…"
"You'll meet the right guy one day and when you do, he's going to make you forget you ever thought I was worth a second glance," Scott mouthed with a genuine smile. He felt her ease returning as she raised her head up to smile at him as well.
"God I hope so because you have no idea how hard it is being out there and meeting all the wrong people," she announced with a hint of a groan in her voice, "I mean it's like one thing after another and I'm starting to think I'll never find him."
"You'll find him when you least expect it," Scott promised reaching out to give her an embrace, "Trust me."
"You make it sound so easy," she returned the hug, squeezing her arms around him tightly.
"I never said it would be easy, but it'll be worthwhile," Scott added releasing her with a small nod.
"I sure hope so," she nodded taking a step back and placing a distance between them, "Well, I should probably get going…"
"Yeah, I um…I have to meet with your father and…" Scott cleared his throat and shifted on his feet.
"Don't let him give you hell," Wendy suggested giving him a long once over before turning away. She started to walk off leaving Scott a few moments to enter his office and pull himself together. He unlocked the door when he heard her call out to him once again, "And Scott?"
"Yes?" he glanced over his shoulder.
"Make sure this Logan guy treats you right or else I'll have to claw his eyes out," Wendy mouthed in a mocking tone, her eyes sparking with mischief.
"I don't think that's going to be a problem," Scott assured her, stepping into his office preparing to begin the day anew.
xxxx
"Excuse me," a voice called out to Wendy once she'd entered the lounge area after her discussion with Scott. While Wendy had plenty of other things she'd hoped to say, she had caved offering up a weak, politically correct response to the disappointment she'd felt in discovering that she and Scott could never be together. It had haunted her from the moment she'd seen Logan at his place and now, well now all she wanted to do was drown her sorrows in chocolate and a good, indulgent coffee. However, her quest would be put on hold when she spotted a tall, slender blonde standing before her with a curious expression.
"Yes?" Wendy questioned watching the woman closely and wondering if she was a temp.
"I was wondering if you could help me," the woman stated plainly, "You see I'm looking for…"
"Human resources is two floors down and if you check in with them, they should be able to sort you out," Wendy turned her back to the woman and reached for the coffee pot.
"I wasn't actually looking for human resources," the blonde explained impatiently, "as I was here to talk with you specifically."
"Me?" Wendy spun around on her heel. "Why?"
"I couldn't help, but notice the exchange you had with Scott Summers," the woman entered the room with a cool, breezy confidence in her movement, "and I was hoping you wouldn't mind if we had a little girl chat with one another."
"You know Scott?" Wendy's eyes widened with surprise.
"For a while," the blonde nodded quickly.
"Then you're aware of the fact that he's off limits," Wendy couldn't help, but roll her eyes, "although if you didn't know it before you'll see it now with that dreadful Logan guy he's dating. I mean really, sometimes you can see it, but other times you can never tell…"
"No I suppose you can't," the blonde purred with delight knowing full well that even though Wendy was an insipid, foolish woman with a fountain of free information, Wendy's loss would truly be her gain now that she was certain she'd found the right person to give her everything she needed to move in for the kill once and for all.
xxxx
Logan yawned uncontrollably having found that Scott's home was increasingly boring without Scott in it. At first Logan had opted to find a way to enjoy his time alone, hoping to welcome the solitude after he'd settled in for the breakfast Scott had prepared for him, but it wasn't at all relaxing. First he'd gone into the gym hoping to get a workout in, but he'd been damn distracted by the boxing ring given that the scent of sex still lingered in the air after his night with Scott. Then he'd gone into the weapons room hoping to get a grasp on what Scott had been obsessing over. He'd opted to check out some of the books Scott had been trying to read up on, but Logan had managed to knock over a vase without realizing it. Unfortunately unlike the knife Logan had taunted Scott about being duped on, the vase had been real, which Logan decided was not a good thing. He'd quickly scooted out of the room, making his way into the entertainment area to settle in and watch a game on television. That, however, was turning into a bore now that Logan was stretched up on the couch, feet on the coffee table, which he was certain that Summers would strongly disapprove of.
"Just as well," he decided contemplating the expression on Scott's face to see Logan stretched out, scuffing the table and puffing on his cigars in an attempt to enjoy himself. Logan chuckled to himself knowing it would fuel a debate. Scott would get irritated by Logan's blatant disregard for his property and then after, well perhaps it would spark something a little more interesting. Reaching for his cigar and pulling it from his lips, Logan smirked at the thought.
"You always look your best when you're irritated Summers," Logan decided puffing on his cigar again when he noticed a photo across the room near the television. While it had been tucked away behind one of the colorful vases Scott seemed to be fond of, there was no mistaking it. Walking over to the photo, Logan reached for the frame and realized it was a photo taken years earlier with Scott and Charles. It was from Scott's youth where the two were on a pier with one another, Scott proudly displaying an oversized fish he must've caught on their day out with one another. Seeing the photo made Logan mournful, remembering the end of the Professor. It haunted him still knowing that everything that they'd all come to expect in their lives was no more. Setting the photo down Logan decided maybe he would hit the gym after all, but before he could follow up on the notion he heard the sound of his cell phone ringing.
Stopping mid-movement, Logan couldn't help, but admit he wasn't all that fond of the thing. It never really made much sense to him with all of it's techy upgrades, but when he'd left the school he'd promised to keep it with him just in case. Of course just in case hadn't proved to happen for Logan up until this point. Everyone understood how clear Logan was on his need to leave. They hadn't liked it, but they refused to question him. Some had expressed a deeper interest in doing so, but kept quiet under some misguided notion of loyalty or even fear. That in itself had given Logan much needed space. Still in hearing the cell phone ring, Logan realized it couldn't be Scott. That meant…
With a heavy feeling in his chest Logan walked over to the counter reaching for his cell phone. He hesitated before finally answering in a neutral tone.
"What?" he questioned with a hint of gruffness in his voice.
"I see some things never change," Storm's voice groaned on the other end of the line.
"I'm not one for pleasantries or receiving phone calls when I told you that this wasn't something I wanted to use," Logan looked around Scott's entertainment room. If Storm had any idea where Logan was now at the very moment, he was certain everything would change. Everyone would be eager to seek out Scott, hoping to pull him back to the life he'd left behind, yet…
"Where are you?" Storm questioned breaking through his thoughts.
"With a friend," Logan answered cryptically.
"You don't have any friends Logan," she added with disbelief.
"I do now," Logan couldn't help, but roll his eyes, "and I have to go. We're about to settle in for tea and crumpets."
"Something horrible has happened," Storm blurted out, ignoring the blatant sarcasm in his tone. She seemed stressed, fearful as she continued to speak, "there was an attack at the school. We had a break in and…"
"Are the children…" Logan hesitated feeling a pang of worry consume him, "are they alright?"
"They're shaken," Storm explained nervously, "but no one was hurt in the attack. It's just…"
"Just what?" Logan tensed up already knowing her answer.
"We need you back here Logan. I need your help in figuring this out and…" she begged of him, her concerns rising in the moment.
"There are plenty of people there who can do more for you than I can…" Logan attempted to seek an out to her request.
"There aren't as many as there once were Logan," her voice was tired, desperate and as Logan's gaze returned to the photo of Scott and the Professor together with one another, guilt tugged at his insides. He contemplated telling her the good news about Scott, but finally resigned himself to silence, refusing to bring that upon Scott now that Scott had his own demons haunting him.
As much as it pained Logan to think about what he must do, he closed his eyes tightly and tried to find a way to come about the solution to everyone's problems, "I'll head back tomorrow."
"Thank you Logan. You have no idea how much we need you right now," Storm answered grateful for his understanding.
"Sure," Logan dropped his head somberly knowing only too well that it was the beginning of the end to the escape he and Scott had made for themselves. Life was about to change all over again.
xxxx
Scott parked his beamer in the garage knowing only too well that he was ready to unwind for a while over dinner with Logan. While he'd normally take his time in preparing something, Scott had opted to simply pick up Thai food on his way home in the hopes of giving himself a little more free time with Logan. At work Scott had thought long and hard about his plans and he couldn't wait to share them with Logan. Of course halfway home Scott realized Logan might have protests to Thai, so he'd made sure to pick up a burger and steak fries for Logan as well should he deem Thai too prissy.
"He'll love it," Scott mouthed to himself, shuffling the bags in his arms.
Walking into the house from the garage, Scott thought about his surprise for Logan. He felt himself bristling with enthusiasm, eager to share the details of their next big rendezvous, but much to his dismay the house was darkened when Scott entered. Frowning Scott made his way to the kitchen, knowing the place without the benefit of sight. It was one of the things that Scott had practiced time and time again given his past. Yes, maybe now he could see the world without blinders on or in his case a visor, but Scott had never forgotten his beginnings. He'd never gotten over that helplessness he'd been pushed into involuntarily in the past. It was what had kept him safe, what had kept him on his toes and now that he was weaving through the hallway in his home, he knew it would be the key to keeping him from ever returning to that miserable place ever again.
"Logan?" Scott questioned, his voice rumbling through the darkness. His words were met by silence, his worries expanding when it was clear Logan wasn't anywhere near the kitchen. Setting the bags down Scott reached for the light switch. It illuminated the hallway leading to the bedroom. Walking towards the light, Scott wondered if Logan was asleep, but his questions were soon answered by a faint rumble of a whisper in the great room.
"I'm in here," Logan finally answered with a dark undertone, his words sending shivers through Scott's body. Turning towards the source of the sound Scott discovered Logan seated upon the couch with a bottle of vodka in hand. He was lost in contemplation, clearly in another state of mind when Scott approached him worriedly.
"What's wrong?" Scott questioned straight to the point now that Logan's demeanor put Scott on edge.
"There was an attack at the school," Logan admitted painfully, "someone was there…"
"How-how do you know?" Scott questioned quietly, his thoughts returning to the life he left behind.
"Storm called me," Logan nodded to the phone he'd tossed onto the coffee table earlier.
"She wants you to return," Scott sensed the reasoning behind Logan's disposition.
Logan nodded, "I told her I would."
"Because she needs you," Scott deduced feeling disappointment linger over him.
"She needs us Scott," Logan raised his chin up just enough to meet Scott's concerned blue eyes, "Things haven't been the same since…"
"I can't," Scott replied guiltily, "you know as well as I do that…"
"It doesn't matter what's changed," Logan opened his mouth in a half-hearted protest "We both know what we got ourselves into when we started all of this and…"
"I can't do it," Scott frowned, shaking his head in refusal. Worry crept in over his brow, "Did you tell her that I was…?"
"No," Logan shook his head and sighed, "It wasn't my place."
"I see," Scott decided taking a seat beside Logan on the couch, "so where does that leave us?"
"I'm needed there," Logan answered quietly, "I can't pretend that I can walk away from obligation."
"You didn't have any trouble with that in the past," Scott added with a small, disapproving frown.
"You're right," Logan agreed raising his chin up to meet Scott's eyes again, "but then again that was before I met a man who taught me that anything worth having in life was worth fighting for."
"Logan," Scott opened his mouth to say something more.
"I'm not going to force your hand in this Scott, but we both know this life isn't for you," Logan looked around the dimly lit room they were seated in, "Sure, it's a good place to hide from everything, but it's not who you are. It's not what you've always dreamt about with all your ideals and hopes for saving the world around you."
"Logan don't," Scott frowned rising up off of the couch to pace around the room, "you know as well as I do that if you take me back there it's only going to make things worse."
"They've already lost so much, why lead them to believe that there still isn't hope?" Logan questioned painfully. "Why not let them see that…?"
"That their fearless leader is a washed up has been who couldn't live up to their expectations because he wasn't strong enough to fight having his very existence being ripped away from him?" Scott questioned in a pitiful wail. "Logan, I'd only serve as a reminder of all their failures."
"No," Logan rose up to step in closer to Scott, "you're a miracle. You're proof that they still exist in the world."
"Hardly," Scott argued with him, "I'm not going to be able to help them…"
"Knowing you're still alive is something that can pull them together again," Logan reached out to touch Scott's shoulder. "If you return with me…"
"I can't," Scott dropped his head remorsefully, "It's not my world any longer."
"Only because you're afraid to admit to yourself that you still belong in it with your friends, with the people who love you," Logan continued in an impassioned tone, "it's time to stop hating yourself for what happened with Jean. It wasn't your fault. None of this is."
"She did this to me because of us Logan," Scott pushed away from him, finally feeling forced to face the one thing he'd fought to own up to. "Knowing how I felt about you set her off in a downward spiral. She was angry, scorned by the fact that I loved you and…"
"No she wasn't Scott. She had something brewing inside of her for years before it came crashing down around her. What you and I felt for one another was…" Logan opened his mouth in protest.
"The final straw," Scott blurted out clenching his fists at his sides tightly, "It broke her Logan and I knew when she kissed me, when she ripped my powers away from me in that moment it would be my cross to bear. It's because of me-because I was weak and unable to convey who I truly was that she couldn't stop herself. It's my fault that everyone suffered, that he's dead…"
"The Professor," Logan realized thinking about the bond Charles and Scott had with one another during the time Logan had been at the school.
"He was the only father I'd ever really known Logan. He gave everything to try to help me, to try to pull me from the fear, but I couldn't control it. I couldn't stop myself from feeling the way I did. I lied to myself about what I was and because of that Jean lost her mind. She went over the edge and murdered him because I…" Scott confessed unable to hide the tears burning behind his eyes. "I failed them all."
"No, you didn't," Logan reached out to embrace Scott. He pulled the smaller man into his arms completely, "you didn't cause any of this Scott. This was brought on by the lies that the Professor lead Jean to believe in. They put a wall up in her mind and it was only a matter of time before it came crashing down over her…"
"I should've been there to stop it. I should've been stronger," Scott confessed tearfully, his resolve slipping away. He buried his head in Logan's chest overtaken by sobs, "there's not a day that goes by where I don't wish I could change things. If only I hadn't left that day-if only I'd confided in someone about my dreams…"
"We had no idea," Logan smoothed his fingers out over Scott's spine, "but now we can make things right. Now we can go back and be stronger. We can start to heal."
"I can't go back," Scott shook his head in refusal, "I can't face them knowing what I do about all that's happened."
"They wouldn't blame you Scott," Logan's eyes searched through the darkness to see the misery in Scott's blue eyes. Reaching out to touch the side of Scott's face, Logan spoke up in a soothing tone, "They would understand what you've been through."
"I don't even understand it," Scott closed his eyes tightly, "I can't explain what's happening to me."
"You don't have to," Logan leaned forward to press a kiss upon Scott's forehead, "because we'll face this together."
"No," Scott finally decided stiffening in Logan's arms, "you'll have to brave this one on your own. My place is here now."
"You don't mean that," Logan's heart sank in his chest.
"I don't have any other options Logan," Scott bit back on his emotions, doing his best to be firm in his resolve, but Logan knew better. He could smell the confusion carrying over Scott, the internal conflict that was tearing Scott to pieces before him. Refusing wasn't what Scott wanted, but it was what Scott felt he needed to do.
"So where does this leave us?" Logan was almost afraid to ask.
"You help them, do what you need to do and when the threat is over…," Scott's words tapered off, uneasiness surrounding him.
"I'll return to you," Logan cupped Scott's face in his hands, "I'll come back for you."
Scott nodded silently, but Logan knew that Scott wasn't so convinced.
"Scott," Logan pushed his fingers through Scott's dark hair, coaxing Scott to meet his eyes again, "I mean it."
"I know you think you do, but we're both living two different lives now Logan," Scott choked up on his emotions, disappointment and sadness filling the room and causing Logan's stomach to twist in realization. As much as they'd wanted a life together, it seemed they were at a crossroads-one that they may never recover from.
"I will be back," Logan promised wrapping Scott up in his arms completely. He bent down, kissing Scott as if his life depended on it. Their tongues tangled, bodies pressed into one another and in that moment Logan found himself never wanting to leave. Obligation meant nothing without the man he loved, yet in knowing Scott's nature, Logan realized should he stay, then they'd both regret not helping the others.
"When are you leaving?" Scott finally questioned breathless and tearful when they parted. He choked up, trying to hide his emotions, but Logan wouldn't ignore them. Instead of poking fun at Scott as he'd done in the past, he reached out to brush a tear from his cheek tenderly.
"I have a flight in the morning," Logan confessed quietly, his heart breaking with each word that spilled from his lips.
"It's just as well," Scott nodded, disappointment hanging over his every syllable, "I have a conference out of town that I'm going to be going to."
"A conference?" Logan's brow perked up with confusion.
"It was part of my surprise," Scott explained regrettably, "I was going to whisk us away to paradise where we could be lose ourselves for a little while. It was all a part of the fantasy…"
"The fantasy," Logan repeated brushing his thumb over Scott's bottom lip gingerly.
"That's right," Scott nodded with a tiny gleam in his eyes, "I had us ready to hop on a red eye later tonight after I cashed in on that promise you made me."
"Promise," Logan added knowingly remembering only too well the things he and Scott had discussed with one another.
"I guess we'll just have to put that on hold as well," Scott detangled himself from Logan's arms, turning away to head towards his bedroom, "I have to pack. I have a flight to catch."
"Scott wait," Logan reached out to Scott, pulling him back into the hallway with him. Wrapping his arms around Scott's body, Logan stepped forward pressing his chest into Scott's back. He could feel the tension surrounding Scott, the culmination of exhaustion and realization overtaking what should've been time well spent with one another. Instead of planning their lives together, they were preparing to say goodbye again, to part for an uncertain amount of time, left to pretend that their relationship was no longer alive and thriving. The thought tore Logan to pieces as he squeezed Summers tighter than before, "we don't have to end it this way."
"Logan, we both know that…" Scott's words tapered off, his voice weak and miserable when Logan's hand pressed over the front of his chest.
"I'm a man of my word," Logan whispered against the back of Scott's neck, his words caressing Scott's body in a tender brush. Closing his arms around Scott tighter than before, he rest his chin on Scott's shoulder, "I'm not leaving you without living up to that promise."
"Logan," Scott tipped his head up, his blue eyes filled with uncertainty.
"It might not be the fantasy you had planned for us, but we have tonight," Logan coaxed Scott to turn around in his arms, "We might be short on time, but I'm yours. I'm your Wolverine and whatever you want from me, I'll give it freely."
"Logan," Scott curled his lip to say something more, to offer Logan an out to their promises for one another.
"We both need this because it's going to be hell without you Summers," Logan confessed leaning in to kiss Scott once more now that the world was changing again bringing their relationship to the ultimate test now that their paths would take them to new directions without each other.