An impossible thing
Title:- An impossible thing
Summary:- In his far future Jack once again travels on the Tardis, this time accompanied by Ianto, but all is not as it seems
Rating:- Suitable for all
Word count:- 5000 approx
Setting:- Jack’s far future
Spoilers:- Vague references to TW CoE and DW 3:13
A/N:- Started in November 2009 this story sat, forlorn and unfinished, for a long time before I decided to try and finally finish it as part of my personal 2012 - A Year of Completed Fics challenge.
Un-betaed - all errors are mine. Comments and con-crit greatly appreciated
Inspired by a line in Dance Macabre’s story 'Innocence' on Whofic. (If you haven’t read any of their stories go and read them - they’re excellent. I especially like ‘Innocence’ and the ‘Innocence Bound’ universe detailing the adventures of Little!Ianto.)
Disclaimer:- TW belongs to RTD, the BBC and others, not me sadly
oOo
Jack watched, mouth dry in anticipation, as Ianto took his first tentative steps on an alien planet. As he slowly looked around him Ianto’s usually passive expression faded to be replaced by awe and wonder.
“It’s beautiful,” he eventually gasped, unable to draw his eyes away from the purple, star studded, sky, the larger of the planet’s two moons hanging low over the horizon silhouetting the spires of the nearby city.
Jack reached out and took Ianto’s hand squeezing gently.
“I’ve wanted to show you the wonders of the universe for so long but I never had the opportunity.”
Ianto squeezed Jack’s hand in return and, dragging his eyes away from the beauty of the planet, leant in and gave Jack a brief, tender, kiss on the lips.
“Well you do now,” he replied with a soft smile before his eyes were drawn back to the alien vista.
They stood in silence for a few moments soaking up the view from the craggy hilltop, the Tardis behind them, the breeze catching the hem of Jack’s coat. Occasionally Jack stole surreptitious sideways glances at Ianto and, holding the other man’s hand warm and solid in his, felt for the first time in a very long time everything in his world seemed good.
Eventually, though, Jack got bored and began to fidget.
“Come on, enough looking. The Doctor says the locals are friendly.” Jack pulled at Ianto’s hand, bouncing on his feet in excitement. “Let’s do some exploring. See you later Doctor,” Jack called shoving his head through the open door of the Tardis before pulling Ianto, unresistingly, towards the road that lead to the city.
“Three hours, no more Jack,” the Doctor called back pulling himself out from under the Tardis console, dust and grime covering his face. “And no talking to anyone, not even to say hello.”
Ianto raised an eyebrow.
“The Doctor thinks I can’t even say hello without flirting,” Jack explained, trying to look nonchalant.
Ianto paused for a moment then threw back his head and laughed, making Jack’s heart soar.
“Goddess, I’ve missed you,” Jack muttered to himself as Ianto started moving again, looking around them, wide eyed, occasionally stifling a happy giggle.
oOo
“Ah there you are,” the Doctor grumbled, coming out from under the time rotor as Jack and Ianto entered the Tardis a few hours later.
As though someone had flipped a switch Jack’s happy mood evaporated.
“I was wondering when you would get back,” the Doctor continued. We really should have left half an hour ago to ensure we get to Minimarion Major in time for the meteor shower…”
Jack saw red.
“Like you’re one to talk, abandoning me on Earth for a century…”
He paused as Ianto placed a gentle hand on his arm. At the younger man’s look Jack felt a valve release and his anger dissipate.
“Sorry,” he muttered, his good mood returning at Ianto’s smile.
The Doctor looked at Jack curiously as Ianto slipped past them and up the stairs, disappearing into the rest of the Tardis.
“Someone had a good day.”
Jack looked after Ianto for a second then turned back to the Doctor. “Yeah,” he agreed. “The best in a long time.”
oOo
“Making a coffee for me?” Jack asked later coming into the Tardis kitchen where Ianto sat at the table.
Ianto smiled and shook his head. “Nope. You can make one yourself.”
Jack looked at him with puppy dog eyes.
“Oh no,” Ianto laughed. “You’re not getting past me that easily. I know you, Jack Harkness, and I know you know how to use that machine.”
“But…”
“The machine in the Hub did not contain alien technology and neither does that one.” He gestured to the shining coffee machine on the worktop.
“But…”
“Even Owen could make good coffee with a bit of coaching and by that point he didn’t have any sense of smell, taste or touch.”
Jack’s shoulders sagged. “You’re not going to give in are you?”
“No, but I’ll give you some pointers if you want,” Ianto replied coming up close behind Jack, turning him towards the offending machine. “Now, what do you do first?”
With Ianto’s warm body just millimetres from his back Jack’s mind went blank and he stood motionless.
Ianto tapped Jack’s right hand. “Check…”
Taking Ianto’s hint Jack raised his right hand and grasped the lever, pulling it towards him. “Check the filter for any dregs,” he continued.
“That’s it,” Ianto said encouragingly as muscle memory began to take over and Jack’s movements became more fluid.
“If you ever want to give up being an intergalactic playboy I’m sure you could get a job as a barista,” Ianto commented as Jack took a tentative sip from his steaming mug.
“Not up to your standards,” Jack admitted. Ianto looked away, blushing slightly. “But not bad, if I do say so myself.”
“Told you.”
oOo
Jack woke in the middle of the night and sighed as he felt Ianto’s solid body spooned up against his back, the weight of Ianto’s arm a comforting presence over his ribs. Moving slowly so as not to wake him Jack took Ianto’s hand in his and raised it to his lips, gently kissing Ianto’s knuckles then held both their hands over his heart. Gradually, lulled by Ianto’s calm breathing, Jack fell back into a deep sleep.
For almost as long as he could remember Jack had needed little sleep but in the last few decades the need had increased until now he could sleep almost a full eight hours every night, not that travelling with the Doctor was really conducive to a good nights sleep when the headaches allowed.
Jack awoke to a cold bed, the memory of Ianto’s beside him like a slowly fading dream, a dull ache at his temples. He stretched out on the bed easing the kinks from his muscles and listened, hopefully, for Ianto padding around in the en suite bathroom. When I hear the shower come on I’ll go and join him, Jack thought, a wide smile on his face.
Just as his mind was conjuring up exactly what he and Ianto could get up to in the large shower the peace of the room was shattered when the Tardis jerked sharply almost bucking Jack off the bed.
“What the…?” Jack exclaimed as he grabbed the previous days clothes from the chair and pulling them on ran towards to control room.
oOo
Once the crisis had been averted Jack went looking for Ianto. He eventually found him in the depths of the Tardis wardrobe looking through the clothes. As Jack watched he ran his fingertips down the sleeve of a long, multicoloured coat.
“In which century was this popular?” Ianto asked, his mouth curled slightly in distaste.
Jack smiled as he came closer, feeling his tension headache dissipate. “No idea. Not any I’ve been to.”
“Good. I thought it might belong to you. It’s your size.”
Jack looked at him in surprise. “I could wear it if you wanted,” he teased. “I know how much you like coats.”
“Coat, singular,” Ianto corrected, leaning forward and playing with Jack’s braces. “Your RAF coat to be precise.”
“Oh?”
“Mmmmh.”
“Would you believe me if I told you I think this belonged to the Doctor?”
Ianto’s hands stilled and he looked up at Jack.
“Not this doctor,” Jack added. “But one of them, a younger one.”
Ianto thought for a moment. “Actually I could see that,” he agreed with a smile, his hands starting to move on Jack’s braces again.
“I missed you,” Jack said after a moment, raising his hands to cover Ianto’s. “During all the commotion.”
Ianto looked at him.
“You needed to concentrate,” he replied simply. “I didn’t want to be a distraction, a liability.”
“You could never be that,” Jack assured him, throwing an arm around Ianto’s shoulders as they wandered through the wardrobe marvelling at all the different fashions it contained.
Jack’s smile widened as he spotted a flash of red on a shelf.
“Does it suit me?” he asked, cheekily, as he settled the red beret on his head.
“Always,” Ianto replied, his voice low and husky.
“Suited you better.” Jack adjusted the beret to a jaunty, non-regulation, angle. “What happened to the UNIT cap Martha got for you?”
“For you,” Ianto corrected. “If I remember rightly Myfanwy decided it would make a colourful addition to her nest, and no amount of bribing with chocolate would change her mind. Now Private,” Ianto suddenly became serious. “Atten-shun!”
Trained to obey orders, Jack’s body reacted to Ianto’s tone before his brain registered the words.
“To your quarters.”
Jack’s smile widened as a shiver of anticipation coursed down his spine.
“Quick march.”
oOo
Jack rubbed his temples as he and Ianto sat watching a DVD on the TV in the Tardis library a few days later. The Doctor was… somewhere doing… something.
“Are you okay?” Ianto asked, pulling Jack in closer.
“Yeah,” Jack sighed, feeling the pain reduce as Ianto kissed his temple. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He burrowed closer into Ianto’s embrace.
Ianto smiled softly, carding his fingers through Jack’s hair as they both went back to watching the film.
As the credits bagan to roll Jack twisted in Ianto’s arms and bit back a whine.
Ianto tightened his grip for a second then released.
“Jack?”
“I’m fine, Jack promised. “It’s just been a long day. Hold me again?”
Ianto pulled Jack closer. Jack shifted so his legs were draped over Ianto’s, his temple resting against Ianto’s heart.
“I wonder how many people would believe me if I told them the great Captain Jack Harkness is a cuddler?” Ianto asked once they we both comfortable.
Jack muttered something unintelligible against Ianto’s chest.
When Ianto remained silent Jack pulled back a little. “Keep talking. Hearing your voice helps.”
Ianto nodded as Jack dropped his head back onto Ianto’s chest, sighing as Ianto’s voice washed over him, easing the pain.
oOo
“Jack, this isn’t right. You have to tell the Doctor,” Ianto said a few days later as he held Jack in his arms again after another stressful day.
Jack shook his head frantically. “I’m fine. So long as I’m with you, I’m fine.
Ianto raised an eyebrow as Jack’s entire body twitched in his arms but chose not to comment. Instead, not being one for chit-chat, Ianto began recounting the plots of all the Sherlock Holmes stories, having already run out of James Bond movies to soothe Jack’s pain.
oOo
Increasingly Jack lived for the downtime he spent with Ianto. When he was off with the Doctor having adventures he felt fuzzy round the edges, tired even though he was sleeping well. His thoughts only came into focus around Ianto.
oOo
“Well, that was fun,” the Doctor commented as he ran round the Tardis console, flipping switches and pushing buttons apparently at random.
Jack grunted in agreement as he flopped into one of the nearby seats.
“Oh, come on Jack. Running for our lives from two metre tall Amazonian women dressed in next to nothing…”
The Doctor paused taking in Jack’s pale face and the beads of sweat on his brow.
“Are you okay?”
Jack nodded, pushing himself upright, needing to find Ianto.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said as he took an uncertain step. “Just need a lie…aah.”
As he took a second step Jack stumbled and fell to the floor of the control room, narrowly missing tumbling down the stairs towards the doors.
“Jack,” the Doctor cried, running around the console as Ianto ran cool fingers over Jack’s sweaty brow.
““I’m fine,” Jack ground out through gritted teeth, grabbing Ianto’s fingers and holding them to his chest. “Don’t coddle me. I’m a big boy.”
The Doctor stopped short and looked at his friend lying prone on the ground, skin chalk white, body drenched in sweat.
“There is no way you’re fine Jack. You’ve looked better when you’ve been dead.”
“Gee, thanks. Help me up.” Jack held out the hand that was not clenched against his chest.
The Doctor took Jack’s hand, helping him to his feet.
“Bedroom?” the Doctor asked.
“Bedroom,” Jack and Ianto agreed.
“Just what I always wanted, a threesome.”
Jack barked out a pained laugh as Ianto rolled his eyes. Staggering slightly under Jack’s weight the Doctor ignored the comment and concentrated on getting Jack through the maze of Tardis corridors to his room without them crashing into the walls.
oOo
In Jack’s room the Doctor gave him a quick examination. Jack feebly tried to push him away.
“I just need some water,” Jack gasped as the pain eased, sounding as though he had been wandering the desert for days. Over the Doctor's shoulder Jack watched as Ianto nodded his head and left. Feeling another wave of pain build Jack gripped the Doctor’s jacket and held on tight, his mouth opening involuntarily as he failed to hold back a scream.
The pain receeding once more Jack slumped against the Doctor's chest, breathing heavily. The Doctor tried to release himself from Jack's grip.
“Stay, please,” Jack murmered, tightening his grip just a fraction.
“But I need to get you some water,” the Doctor replied, gently.
Jack shook his head minutely. “'t's okay. Ianto...” he paused, gasping. “Ianto's gone.”
The Doctor looked down at Jack. Ianto? The Doctor had a vague memory of a young man in a suit but that was so long ago. Could Jack really be referring to the same man?
The Doctor waited a moment then began to shift. Jack again tightened his grip.
“But your water.”
“I told you,” Jack said, his voice closer to normal. “Ianto'll bring it. Just give him a minute.”
“Jack, there's just us. If you want some water I'll need to get it for you.”
Jack shook his head once more. “No, Ianto's here. He went to get some.” Jack looked away towards the open door waiting for his lover to return. “The Tardis probably just rearranged the rooms and the kitchen is further away than it used to be. He'll be here soon,” Jack assured the Doctor.
Sighing the Doctor grabbed Jack's chin and turned him round so they were facing each other. “Jack look at me,” the Doctor commanded when Jack's gaze kept drifting back to the door. “There is no one on the Tarids apart from you and me. There has only been us since I picked you up.”
“No!” Jack glared at the Doctor, pushing himself out of the Doctor's embrace. “Ianto's here.”
“No Jack.”
“I'll prove it,” Jack shouted pushing himself to his feet and staggering to the door. “Ianto,” he shouted as he held himself upright against the doorframe. “Ianto, show yourself. This is no time for naked hide and seek.”
The Doctor shook his head, a smile playing at his lips despite his concern. Jack never changed.
“Come on, you gorgeous Welsh bastard. Show yourself.” Jack staggered down the corridor throwing open every door as he went. “Show yourself, please,” he gasped, falling to his knees with a sob. The Doctor ran to him but Jack fought him off, pushed himself upright and continued on, ricocheting from wall to wall, the Doctor followed behind.
Each step sending stabs of pain through his head, Jack searched the Tardis from top to bottom, checking the swimming pool, library, wardrobe and every bedroom, lab and study the amazing ship possessed. Bouncing off walls and falling to his knees he never gave up until they reached the garden, the furthest point from the console room.
Looking around the lush, green, expanse Jack fell to his knees once more but this time made no effort to rise.
“No,” he gasped, brokenly, his head in his hands. The Doctor rushed to him, once again enveloping Jack in a hug. As Jack moved against him in their embrace the Doctor was surprised to feel a dampness as Jack’s skin brushed against his. Despite everything Jack had gone through he, in the Doctor’s experience at least, never cried.
Slowly Jack’s breathing began to even out and eventually he released a quiet snore. The Doctor smiled. Sleep would do Jack good and now he needed it even more than usual. Shuffling slightly the Doctor separated himself from Jack and laid him down the soft grass using his jacket as a pillow. Jack smiled slightly as he made himself comfortable and, as the Doctor watched, the tension the Doctor had not even noticed before fell from his face.
“Oh Jack,” the Doctor wondered aloud. “What have you done this time?”
oOo
Jack woke feeling more rested than he had done in centuries, the pain in his head reduced to a dull roar.
“Ianto?” he asked hopefully, blinking slightly as someone moved beside him.
“No Jack, it’s me,” the Doctor replied gently.
Suddenly the memories of the last few hours crashed over Jack and he rolled over onto his side with a disappointed moan, pulling himself into a ball, his back to the Doctor.
The Doctor rested an arm on his shoulder.
“What’s going on Jack?”
“Nothing. I must have been dreaming.”
“Sorry Jack, but that’s not going to work this time. You keep saying Ianto is here. Why?”
Jack rolled over, looking at the Doctor. “Because he is here. He’s been here for weeks,” Jack insisted, his gaze boring into the Doctor before he looked away. “At least I wanted to believe it was true. I didn’t care about how or why, I was just so happy to have him back.” Jack turned away from the Doctor trying to hide the tears that were coursing down his cheeks from the Doctor. “I’ve met so many people in my life but none quite like him and I don’t think I’ll ever meet someone like him again even if I live for a million years or more.”
Pulling himself into a sitting position Jack smiled softly as he looked past the Doctor to where Ianto leaned against a nearby tree.
“I couldn’t believe it when he turned up that last time we visited earth to get milk. I knew you wouldn’t like it so I kinda stowed him away.” The Doctor glared but Jack kept talking. “But then he started coming to the console room when you were there and you didn’t complain and I thought so long as he didn’t get in the way you were okay with him travelling with us.”
“But the last time we stopped for milk was 2732.”
“I know.”
“And you didn’t wonder that I didn’t talk to him, or him to me?” the Doctor continued.
Jack shook his head. “When he came to the console room that first time you looked straight at us, at me, and nodded and… I suppose I took that as your acknowledgement he could come. After that… Ianto was good at blending into the background, too good.” Jack paused, remembering just how good Ianto had been at hiding in plain sight when he first came to work for Torchwood 3. “I didn’t even care that when he was around the headaches weren’t so bad. I’d have endured a hundred times, a thousand times more, just to spend a little more time with him.”
“Headaches? You didn’t mention you’ve been having headaches.”
Jack sniffed. “They’re nothing really,” he replied, avoiding the Doctors gaze.
“Jaaack,” the Doctor drew out the name.
Jack sighed. “I started getting them about a century back, niggly little things that I couldn’t quite shift, like an itch I couldn’t scratch and gradually they’ve got worse.”
“How much worse?”
Jack shrugged. The Doctor waited patiently, saying nothing.
“Worse,” Jack eventually admitted. “Some days I can’t quite see straight, let alone think.”
“Jack, why didn’t you tell me?” the Doctor asked, his tone filled with a mixture of horror and sympathy. Jack looked at the floor. “I could have helped.”
“It started so slowly I didn’t really notice it. I suppose as it got worse I adapted. I forgot that that wasn’t how I was supposed to feel.” Jack glanced around the garden but found he and the Doctor were alone. “It was only when Ianto,” Jack’s voice cracked and he took a deep breath. “It was only when Ianto was around and they were better I realised how bad they’d become.”
The Doctor sighed. “Okay, lets go to the medical room and the Tardis can check you over.”
oOo
Nervous, Jack sat on the edge of one of the beds in the Tardis medical room. The Doctor studied the screen covered in Gallifrian script which meant nothing to Jack. On the wall above, another screen projected a series of pictures he did recognise, slices through his brain, and he was quite sure they did not look right.
“Mmmm,” the Doctor moved his attention from the screen to the projected images. The hum of the Tardis changed slightly and the Doctor nodded sadly in agreement.
“So?” Jack asked covering his nervousness with bravado. “Will I live?”
“Mmmm?” the Doctor looked at him confused, as though he had forgotten the pictures actually belonged to a living breathing person and were not an academic exercise. His face cleared. “Oh yes Jack, you’ll live. But you must have been in so much pain. How did you manage to keep this to yourself all this time?”
“I didn’t.”
The Doctor looked at Jack questioningly.
“Ianto knew. He was like the best painkiller you can imagine. So long as I knew he was close the pain was bearable.”
The Doctor nodded, sadly.
Relaxing slightly, Jack yawned, his eyes closing against his will.
“Get some more sleep, Jack,” the Doctor said, dimming the lights in the medical bay. “We’ll talk again later.”
As the Doctor closed the door gently Jack sighed feeling the bed dip behind him and a body spoon up against his.
“I’m never saying goodbye to you again,” Jack breathed, a soft smile on his face.
oOo
“Jack, you can’t go on living like this,” the Doctor shouted. Since Jack’s seizure in the control room the two men had been having a circular argument. “Soon you’ll be in pain so bad it’ll be all you can think about, all you can feel”
Jack looked at the Doctor, his face impassive. “But I’ll have Ianto. So long as he’s around I can bear it.”
The Doctor looked for a second as though he was going to grab Jack by the shoulders and shake him but he reigned in his temper. “It’s not Ianto, it’s just a hallucination.”
Jack looked at the Doctor, hurt.
“Okay,” the Doctor conceded. “For a while you might have Ianto but eventually the pressure on other areas of your brain will become too great and blood vessels will start to rupture.
“But I’ll still look good,” Jack quipped half heartedly. Ianto, leaning against the door frame, shook his head in fond resignation.
The Doctor ignored the comment. “You’ll die of a brain haemorrhage, your body will reset and then the whole cycle will start again, the length of time between each rupture reducing every time as your memories increase.”
“My memories?”
“Yes Jack. That’s what’s causing all this. The human brain is only designed for a maximum lifespan of 150-200 years, even by your time. But you’ve lived a lot longer than that. Your body resets when you revive, correcting any physical damage, but your memories accumulate and your skull is becoming too small to accommodate them.”
Jack shook his head. “No, I’ll take the risk to be with Ianto.”
“Don’t be stubborn. You said Ianto cared for you,” the Doctor replied, speaking to Jack’s back as he walked out of the control room.
At the top of the stairs Jack paused. In front of him stood Ianto, his expression downcast.
“Do you think he would want you to be in pain?” the Doctor continued. “Pain so bad that you’re miserable?”
Ianto raised his hand and caressed Jack’s cheek, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Jack leaned into the touch.
“Knowing you are in pain cuts me in two, sir.”
Jack smiled at the familiar title. Turning his head Jack kissed Ianto’s palm. Ianto’s lips curved up just a fraction.
“You know you have to do this,” Ianto whispered as he dropped his hand. Taking Jack by the shoulders, he gently turned him back round to face the Doctor.
When Jack did not make a move Ianto pushed him lightly in the small of his back. “Go.”
Reluctantly Jack began walking back down the stairs to the Doctor. “So what do we do?”
oOo
“When you expand my skull I’m not going to become some talking head in a jar am I?” Jack asked later when the Doctor had come up with a plan. He grinned at the look of shock on the Doctors face. “Sorry, Ianto loved Futurama, a cartoon series,” he explained. “They had a museum of talking heads of all the great and the good from the past.” Jack smiled softly at the memory of Futurama DVD marathons with Ianto when they wanted something a bit more light and fluffy than James Bond.
The Doctor smiled but his hearts were beating double time. He did not know how much Jack knew or suspected about his future but whatever it was the Doctor did not want Jack to find out anything from him. The man was enough of a thorn in the side of the laws of physics as it was.
oOo
“I don't want to lose you again.” Jack squeezed Ianto’s hand as he lay on the improvised operating table in the Tardis medical room
Ianto squeezed back, his hand warm and solid, feeling totally real. “You won't. I promise.”
“You're a figment of my imagination,” Jack said sadly, acknowledging verbally for the first time what he had known deep down ever since that first, joyous, moment when he had seen him after so, so, long. “You're not real.”
Ianto smiled. “You're an immortal man. You worked for Torchwood saving Earth from alien invasion.” Ianto leaned forward, his breath tickling Jack's ears. “Who knows what's truly real and what's not? Certainly not you or me.”
Jack’s heart ached with longing that it could be true but he shook his head. “No, you’re gone,” he ground out through the pain, both physical and emotional. “I don’t believe in miracles.”
“Maybe not,” Ianto admitted. “But I do. I fell in love with one remember?” Ianto gently brushed a stay tear from Jack’s cheek.
Jack breathed deeply at Ianto’s simple expression of the feelings he guarded so closely. He had felt guilty for so many years about so many things regarding Ianto.
“Oh and Jack,” Ianto continued softly, his warm breath caressing Jack’s temple. “When the time comes to let me go, don’t fight it. It’ll be okay, I swear. Never forget, I love you and I’ll always be with you.”
He felt something deep inside loosen as the anaesthetic took effect. Taking another deep breath, Ianto’s soft lips on his forehead, Jack fell gently into unconsciousness.
oOo
“How’re you feeling?” the Doctor asked as Jack stumbled, bleary eyed, into the control room. He moved like an old man, Jack reflected, as he took his time negotiating the stairs one by one. But there again, he was an old man and likely to get much, much older.
“Coffee?” the Doctor asked producing an old fashioned tartan flask from a recess in the console like a magician producing a rabbit from a hat.
Jack nodded, and instantly regretted it as pain lanced through his head.
“Temporary side effect of the procedure,” the Doctor explained. ”Should be gone momentarily.”
Jack looked at the Doctor sceptically, one eye squeezed shut in an attempt to minimise the pain.
“In a few hours, days possibly. I don’t know but soon,” the Doctor assured him. “The Tardis has never done anything like this. She had to rewrite your DNA from the ground up. We’re in uncharted territory.”
“Just another day at the office then?” Jack asked, accepting to mug of coffee the Doctor gave him with a smile. He cradled the mug in his hands, relishing the warmth.
“Always reminds me of him, coffee,” Jack said fondly. “Didn’t matter what we were doing Ianto would always be able to produce coffee from somewhere and make the worst times just that little bit better.”
The Doctor nodded, taking a sip from his own mug. “I wish I could have met him.”
“Yeah, me too. He would have called you out on everything, just like he did me.” Jack smiled and took a sip of his coffee.
The Doctor looked over in concern as Jack pulled a disgusted face and spat the liquid back into the mug.
“What are you trying to do?” Jack demanded. “Poison me? Check I still can’t die?”
“No, of course not.” the Doctor came running over and quickly checked Jack over then sniffed at Jack’s mug. He took a tentative sip. “Tastes fine to me.”
“Well you have it,” Jack replied, stalking round the console and picking up the Doctor’s mug. He took another sip, smaller this time, and managed to swallow but only just. “Is this another side effect of the procedure? Like the headache?”
The Doctor began pushing buttons and turning knobs in a sequence too fast to follow before grabbing the suspended TV screen and spinning it around so the could both see it.
“No, no, I don’t think so,” the Doctor admitted as Jack stared at the swirling images on the screen. “Apparently the procedure has made a few small changes to your physiology beyond the one we desired.”
“One of those being losing the taste for coffee?” Jack asked, not really wanting to know the answer.
“Maybe it’ll come back in time?” the Doctor suggested, though he did not hold out much hope.
“No,” Jack shouted. The Doctor stiffened at Jack’s sudden outburst. “I won’t. I can’t. I can’t lose the last thing of him I have.” He grabbed the Doctor’s lapels and pulled him close, shouting straight into his face. “Undo the procedure, the whole thing. I don’t care about the headaches or the hallucinations, just give him back to me, at least this one thing. Please,” he begged.
Tears ran down Jack’s face as the Doctor pulled him into an awkward hug.
“I’m sorry Jack, I really am, but maybe it’s time to let him go.”
Jack pulled back, glaring at the Doctor. “He was the one truly good thing that happened to me in the entire time you abandoned me after this ship made me who I…” Jack paused. “What did you say?”
“Maybe it’s time to let him go?” the Doctor repeated, cautiously, as a smile slowly formed on Jack’s face.
“He knew. He knew!”
The Doctor looked at Jack, concerned. “Who knew what?”
“Ianto. He knew. The last thing he said to me before the procedure was that when the time came to let him go I wasn’t to fight it. I thought he meant the hallucinations but he knew. He knew my tastebuds would change, that I’d lose that final connection to him. But if he was a hallucination caused by the pain, how did he know? I didn’t know. Even the Tardis didn’t know. But he did which means at least part of him was real.”
“But Jack…”
“No Doctor.” Jack hugged his friend, his smile brighter than the Doctor had seen in a very long time. “I know it sounds strange but I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” Jack held the Doctor at arms length and spun him around, eyes bright with unshed tears, before flopping down in one of the seats against the guard rail. “I wonder when I’ll get to see him again,” Jack asked, his voice full of hopeful longing, as a familiar voice came to him, chuckling softly, on an impossible breeze,
“Spoilers, sir. Spoilers.”
Summary:- In his far future Jack once again travels on the Tardis, this time accompanied by Ianto, but all is not as it seems
Rating:- Suitable for all
Word count:- 5000 approx
Setting:- Jack’s far future
Spoilers:- Vague references to TW CoE and DW 3:13
A/N:- Started in November 2009 this story sat, forlorn and unfinished, for a long time before I decided to try and finally finish it as part of my personal 2012 - A Year of Completed Fics challenge.
Un-betaed - all errors are mine. Comments and con-crit greatly appreciated
Inspired by a line in Dance Macabre’s story 'Innocence' on Whofic. (If you haven’t read any of their stories go and read them - they’re excellent. I especially like ‘Innocence’ and the ‘Innocence Bound’ universe detailing the adventures of Little!Ianto.)
Disclaimer:- TW belongs to RTD, the BBC and others, not me sadly
oOo
Jack watched, mouth dry in anticipation, as Ianto took his first tentative steps on an alien planet. As he slowly looked around him Ianto’s usually passive expression faded to be replaced by awe and wonder.
“It’s beautiful,” he eventually gasped, unable to draw his eyes away from the purple, star studded, sky, the larger of the planet’s two moons hanging low over the horizon silhouetting the spires of the nearby city.
Jack reached out and took Ianto’s hand squeezing gently.
“I’ve wanted to show you the wonders of the universe for so long but I never had the opportunity.”
Ianto squeezed Jack’s hand in return and, dragging his eyes away from the beauty of the planet, leant in and gave Jack a brief, tender, kiss on the lips.
“Well you do now,” he replied with a soft smile before his eyes were drawn back to the alien vista.
They stood in silence for a few moments soaking up the view from the craggy hilltop, the Tardis behind them, the breeze catching the hem of Jack’s coat. Occasionally Jack stole surreptitious sideways glances at Ianto and, holding the other man’s hand warm and solid in his, felt for the first time in a very long time everything in his world seemed good.
Eventually, though, Jack got bored and began to fidget.
“Come on, enough looking. The Doctor says the locals are friendly.” Jack pulled at Ianto’s hand, bouncing on his feet in excitement. “Let’s do some exploring. See you later Doctor,” Jack called shoving his head through the open door of the Tardis before pulling Ianto, unresistingly, towards the road that lead to the city.
“Three hours, no more Jack,” the Doctor called back pulling himself out from under the Tardis console, dust and grime covering his face. “And no talking to anyone, not even to say hello.”
Ianto raised an eyebrow.
“The Doctor thinks I can’t even say hello without flirting,” Jack explained, trying to look nonchalant.
Ianto paused for a moment then threw back his head and laughed, making Jack’s heart soar.
“Goddess, I’ve missed you,” Jack muttered to himself as Ianto started moving again, looking around them, wide eyed, occasionally stifling a happy giggle.
oOo
“Ah there you are,” the Doctor grumbled, coming out from under the time rotor as Jack and Ianto entered the Tardis a few hours later.
As though someone had flipped a switch Jack’s happy mood evaporated.
“I was wondering when you would get back,” the Doctor continued. We really should have left half an hour ago to ensure we get to Minimarion Major in time for the meteor shower…”
Jack saw red.
“Like you’re one to talk, abandoning me on Earth for a century…”
He paused as Ianto placed a gentle hand on his arm. At the younger man’s look Jack felt a valve release and his anger dissipate.
“Sorry,” he muttered, his good mood returning at Ianto’s smile.
The Doctor looked at Jack curiously as Ianto slipped past them and up the stairs, disappearing into the rest of the Tardis.
“Someone had a good day.”
Jack looked after Ianto for a second then turned back to the Doctor. “Yeah,” he agreed. “The best in a long time.”
oOo
“Making a coffee for me?” Jack asked later coming into the Tardis kitchen where Ianto sat at the table.
Ianto smiled and shook his head. “Nope. You can make one yourself.”
Jack looked at him with puppy dog eyes.
“Oh no,” Ianto laughed. “You’re not getting past me that easily. I know you, Jack Harkness, and I know you know how to use that machine.”
“But…”
“The machine in the Hub did not contain alien technology and neither does that one.” He gestured to the shining coffee machine on the worktop.
“But…”
“Even Owen could make good coffee with a bit of coaching and by that point he didn’t have any sense of smell, taste or touch.”
Jack’s shoulders sagged. “You’re not going to give in are you?”
“No, but I’ll give you some pointers if you want,” Ianto replied coming up close behind Jack, turning him towards the offending machine. “Now, what do you do first?”
With Ianto’s warm body just millimetres from his back Jack’s mind went blank and he stood motionless.
Ianto tapped Jack’s right hand. “Check…”
Taking Ianto’s hint Jack raised his right hand and grasped the lever, pulling it towards him. “Check the filter for any dregs,” he continued.
“That’s it,” Ianto said encouragingly as muscle memory began to take over and Jack’s movements became more fluid.
“If you ever want to give up being an intergalactic playboy I’m sure you could get a job as a barista,” Ianto commented as Jack took a tentative sip from his steaming mug.
“Not up to your standards,” Jack admitted. Ianto looked away, blushing slightly. “But not bad, if I do say so myself.”
“Told you.”
oOo
Jack woke in the middle of the night and sighed as he felt Ianto’s solid body spooned up against his back, the weight of Ianto’s arm a comforting presence over his ribs. Moving slowly so as not to wake him Jack took Ianto’s hand in his and raised it to his lips, gently kissing Ianto’s knuckles then held both their hands over his heart. Gradually, lulled by Ianto’s calm breathing, Jack fell back into a deep sleep.
For almost as long as he could remember Jack had needed little sleep but in the last few decades the need had increased until now he could sleep almost a full eight hours every night, not that travelling with the Doctor was really conducive to a good nights sleep when the headaches allowed.
Jack awoke to a cold bed, the memory of Ianto’s beside him like a slowly fading dream, a dull ache at his temples. He stretched out on the bed easing the kinks from his muscles and listened, hopefully, for Ianto padding around in the en suite bathroom. When I hear the shower come on I’ll go and join him, Jack thought, a wide smile on his face.
Just as his mind was conjuring up exactly what he and Ianto could get up to in the large shower the peace of the room was shattered when the Tardis jerked sharply almost bucking Jack off the bed.
“What the…?” Jack exclaimed as he grabbed the previous days clothes from the chair and pulling them on ran towards to control room.
oOo
Once the crisis had been averted Jack went looking for Ianto. He eventually found him in the depths of the Tardis wardrobe looking through the clothes. As Jack watched he ran his fingertips down the sleeve of a long, multicoloured coat.
“In which century was this popular?” Ianto asked, his mouth curled slightly in distaste.
Jack smiled as he came closer, feeling his tension headache dissipate. “No idea. Not any I’ve been to.”
“Good. I thought it might belong to you. It’s your size.”
Jack looked at him in surprise. “I could wear it if you wanted,” he teased. “I know how much you like coats.”
“Coat, singular,” Ianto corrected, leaning forward and playing with Jack’s braces. “Your RAF coat to be precise.”
“Oh?”
“Mmmmh.”
“Would you believe me if I told you I think this belonged to the Doctor?”
Ianto’s hands stilled and he looked up at Jack.
“Not this doctor,” Jack added. “But one of them, a younger one.”
Ianto thought for a moment. “Actually I could see that,” he agreed with a smile, his hands starting to move on Jack’s braces again.
“I missed you,” Jack said after a moment, raising his hands to cover Ianto’s. “During all the commotion.”
Ianto looked at him.
“You needed to concentrate,” he replied simply. “I didn’t want to be a distraction, a liability.”
“You could never be that,” Jack assured him, throwing an arm around Ianto’s shoulders as they wandered through the wardrobe marvelling at all the different fashions it contained.
Jack’s smile widened as he spotted a flash of red on a shelf.
“Does it suit me?” he asked, cheekily, as he settled the red beret on his head.
“Always,” Ianto replied, his voice low and husky.
“Suited you better.” Jack adjusted the beret to a jaunty, non-regulation, angle. “What happened to the UNIT cap Martha got for you?”
“For you,” Ianto corrected. “If I remember rightly Myfanwy decided it would make a colourful addition to her nest, and no amount of bribing with chocolate would change her mind. Now Private,” Ianto suddenly became serious. “Atten-shun!”
Trained to obey orders, Jack’s body reacted to Ianto’s tone before his brain registered the words.
“To your quarters.”
Jack’s smile widened as a shiver of anticipation coursed down his spine.
“Quick march.”
oOo
Jack rubbed his temples as he and Ianto sat watching a DVD on the TV in the Tardis library a few days later. The Doctor was… somewhere doing… something.
“Are you okay?” Ianto asked, pulling Jack in closer.
“Yeah,” Jack sighed, feeling the pain reduce as Ianto kissed his temple. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He burrowed closer into Ianto’s embrace.
Ianto smiled softly, carding his fingers through Jack’s hair as they both went back to watching the film.
As the credits bagan to roll Jack twisted in Ianto’s arms and bit back a whine.
Ianto tightened his grip for a second then released.
“Jack?”
“I’m fine, Jack promised. “It’s just been a long day. Hold me again?”
Ianto pulled Jack closer. Jack shifted so his legs were draped over Ianto’s, his temple resting against Ianto’s heart.
“I wonder how many people would believe me if I told them the great Captain Jack Harkness is a cuddler?” Ianto asked once they we both comfortable.
Jack muttered something unintelligible against Ianto’s chest.
When Ianto remained silent Jack pulled back a little. “Keep talking. Hearing your voice helps.”
Ianto nodded as Jack dropped his head back onto Ianto’s chest, sighing as Ianto’s voice washed over him, easing the pain.
oOo
“Jack, this isn’t right. You have to tell the Doctor,” Ianto said a few days later as he held Jack in his arms again after another stressful day.
Jack shook his head frantically. “I’m fine. So long as I’m with you, I’m fine.
Ianto raised an eyebrow as Jack’s entire body twitched in his arms but chose not to comment. Instead, not being one for chit-chat, Ianto began recounting the plots of all the Sherlock Holmes stories, having already run out of James Bond movies to soothe Jack’s pain.
oOo
Increasingly Jack lived for the downtime he spent with Ianto. When he was off with the Doctor having adventures he felt fuzzy round the edges, tired even though he was sleeping well. His thoughts only came into focus around Ianto.
oOo
“Well, that was fun,” the Doctor commented as he ran round the Tardis console, flipping switches and pushing buttons apparently at random.
Jack grunted in agreement as he flopped into one of the nearby seats.
“Oh, come on Jack. Running for our lives from two metre tall Amazonian women dressed in next to nothing…”
The Doctor paused taking in Jack’s pale face and the beads of sweat on his brow.
“Are you okay?”
Jack nodded, pushing himself upright, needing to find Ianto.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said as he took an uncertain step. “Just need a lie…aah.”
As he took a second step Jack stumbled and fell to the floor of the control room, narrowly missing tumbling down the stairs towards the doors.
“Jack,” the Doctor cried, running around the console as Ianto ran cool fingers over Jack’s sweaty brow.
““I’m fine,” Jack ground out through gritted teeth, grabbing Ianto’s fingers and holding them to his chest. “Don’t coddle me. I’m a big boy.”
The Doctor stopped short and looked at his friend lying prone on the ground, skin chalk white, body drenched in sweat.
“There is no way you’re fine Jack. You’ve looked better when you’ve been dead.”
“Gee, thanks. Help me up.” Jack held out the hand that was not clenched against his chest.
The Doctor took Jack’s hand, helping him to his feet.
“Bedroom?” the Doctor asked.
“Bedroom,” Jack and Ianto agreed.
“Just what I always wanted, a threesome.”
Jack barked out a pained laugh as Ianto rolled his eyes. Staggering slightly under Jack’s weight the Doctor ignored the comment and concentrated on getting Jack through the maze of Tardis corridors to his room without them crashing into the walls.
oOo
In Jack’s room the Doctor gave him a quick examination. Jack feebly tried to push him away.
“I just need some water,” Jack gasped as the pain eased, sounding as though he had been wandering the desert for days. Over the Doctor's shoulder Jack watched as Ianto nodded his head and left. Feeling another wave of pain build Jack gripped the Doctor’s jacket and held on tight, his mouth opening involuntarily as he failed to hold back a scream.
The pain receeding once more Jack slumped against the Doctor's chest, breathing heavily. The Doctor tried to release himself from Jack's grip.
“Stay, please,” Jack murmered, tightening his grip just a fraction.
“But I need to get you some water,” the Doctor replied, gently.
Jack shook his head minutely. “'t's okay. Ianto...” he paused, gasping. “Ianto's gone.”
The Doctor looked down at Jack. Ianto? The Doctor had a vague memory of a young man in a suit but that was so long ago. Could Jack really be referring to the same man?
The Doctor waited a moment then began to shift. Jack again tightened his grip.
“But your water.”
“I told you,” Jack said, his voice closer to normal. “Ianto'll bring it. Just give him a minute.”
“Jack, there's just us. If you want some water I'll need to get it for you.”
Jack shook his head once more. “No, Ianto's here. He went to get some.” Jack looked away towards the open door waiting for his lover to return. “The Tardis probably just rearranged the rooms and the kitchen is further away than it used to be. He'll be here soon,” Jack assured the Doctor.
Sighing the Doctor grabbed Jack's chin and turned him round so they were facing each other. “Jack look at me,” the Doctor commanded when Jack's gaze kept drifting back to the door. “There is no one on the Tarids apart from you and me. There has only been us since I picked you up.”
“No!” Jack glared at the Doctor, pushing himself out of the Doctor's embrace. “Ianto's here.”
“No Jack.”
“I'll prove it,” Jack shouted pushing himself to his feet and staggering to the door. “Ianto,” he shouted as he held himself upright against the doorframe. “Ianto, show yourself. This is no time for naked hide and seek.”
The Doctor shook his head, a smile playing at his lips despite his concern. Jack never changed.
“Come on, you gorgeous Welsh bastard. Show yourself.” Jack staggered down the corridor throwing open every door as he went. “Show yourself, please,” he gasped, falling to his knees with a sob. The Doctor ran to him but Jack fought him off, pushed himself upright and continued on, ricocheting from wall to wall, the Doctor followed behind.
Each step sending stabs of pain through his head, Jack searched the Tardis from top to bottom, checking the swimming pool, library, wardrobe and every bedroom, lab and study the amazing ship possessed. Bouncing off walls and falling to his knees he never gave up until they reached the garden, the furthest point from the console room.
Looking around the lush, green, expanse Jack fell to his knees once more but this time made no effort to rise.
“No,” he gasped, brokenly, his head in his hands. The Doctor rushed to him, once again enveloping Jack in a hug. As Jack moved against him in their embrace the Doctor was surprised to feel a dampness as Jack’s skin brushed against his. Despite everything Jack had gone through he, in the Doctor’s experience at least, never cried.
Slowly Jack’s breathing began to even out and eventually he released a quiet snore. The Doctor smiled. Sleep would do Jack good and now he needed it even more than usual. Shuffling slightly the Doctor separated himself from Jack and laid him down the soft grass using his jacket as a pillow. Jack smiled slightly as he made himself comfortable and, as the Doctor watched, the tension the Doctor had not even noticed before fell from his face.
“Oh Jack,” the Doctor wondered aloud. “What have you done this time?”
oOo
Jack woke feeling more rested than he had done in centuries, the pain in his head reduced to a dull roar.
“Ianto?” he asked hopefully, blinking slightly as someone moved beside him.
“No Jack, it’s me,” the Doctor replied gently.
Suddenly the memories of the last few hours crashed over Jack and he rolled over onto his side with a disappointed moan, pulling himself into a ball, his back to the Doctor.
The Doctor rested an arm on his shoulder.
“What’s going on Jack?”
“Nothing. I must have been dreaming.”
“Sorry Jack, but that’s not going to work this time. You keep saying Ianto is here. Why?”
Jack rolled over, looking at the Doctor. “Because he is here. He’s been here for weeks,” Jack insisted, his gaze boring into the Doctor before he looked away. “At least I wanted to believe it was true. I didn’t care about how or why, I was just so happy to have him back.” Jack turned away from the Doctor trying to hide the tears that were coursing down his cheeks from the Doctor. “I’ve met so many people in my life but none quite like him and I don’t think I’ll ever meet someone like him again even if I live for a million years or more.”
Pulling himself into a sitting position Jack smiled softly as he looked past the Doctor to where Ianto leaned against a nearby tree.
“I couldn’t believe it when he turned up that last time we visited earth to get milk. I knew you wouldn’t like it so I kinda stowed him away.” The Doctor glared but Jack kept talking. “But then he started coming to the console room when you were there and you didn’t complain and I thought so long as he didn’t get in the way you were okay with him travelling with us.”
“But the last time we stopped for milk was 2732.”
“I know.”
“And you didn’t wonder that I didn’t talk to him, or him to me?” the Doctor continued.
Jack shook his head. “When he came to the console room that first time you looked straight at us, at me, and nodded and… I suppose I took that as your acknowledgement he could come. After that… Ianto was good at blending into the background, too good.” Jack paused, remembering just how good Ianto had been at hiding in plain sight when he first came to work for Torchwood 3. “I didn’t even care that when he was around the headaches weren’t so bad. I’d have endured a hundred times, a thousand times more, just to spend a little more time with him.”
“Headaches? You didn’t mention you’ve been having headaches.”
Jack sniffed. “They’re nothing really,” he replied, avoiding the Doctors gaze.
“Jaaack,” the Doctor drew out the name.
Jack sighed. “I started getting them about a century back, niggly little things that I couldn’t quite shift, like an itch I couldn’t scratch and gradually they’ve got worse.”
“How much worse?”
Jack shrugged. The Doctor waited patiently, saying nothing.
“Worse,” Jack eventually admitted. “Some days I can’t quite see straight, let alone think.”
“Jack, why didn’t you tell me?” the Doctor asked, his tone filled with a mixture of horror and sympathy. Jack looked at the floor. “I could have helped.”
“It started so slowly I didn’t really notice it. I suppose as it got worse I adapted. I forgot that that wasn’t how I was supposed to feel.” Jack glanced around the garden but found he and the Doctor were alone. “It was only when Ianto,” Jack’s voice cracked and he took a deep breath. “It was only when Ianto was around and they were better I realised how bad they’d become.”
The Doctor sighed. “Okay, lets go to the medical room and the Tardis can check you over.”
oOo
Nervous, Jack sat on the edge of one of the beds in the Tardis medical room. The Doctor studied the screen covered in Gallifrian script which meant nothing to Jack. On the wall above, another screen projected a series of pictures he did recognise, slices through his brain, and he was quite sure they did not look right.
“Mmmm,” the Doctor moved his attention from the screen to the projected images. The hum of the Tardis changed slightly and the Doctor nodded sadly in agreement.
“So?” Jack asked covering his nervousness with bravado. “Will I live?”
“Mmmm?” the Doctor looked at him confused, as though he had forgotten the pictures actually belonged to a living breathing person and were not an academic exercise. His face cleared. “Oh yes Jack, you’ll live. But you must have been in so much pain. How did you manage to keep this to yourself all this time?”
“I didn’t.”
The Doctor looked at Jack questioningly.
“Ianto knew. He was like the best painkiller you can imagine. So long as I knew he was close the pain was bearable.”
The Doctor nodded, sadly.
Relaxing slightly, Jack yawned, his eyes closing against his will.
“Get some more sleep, Jack,” the Doctor said, dimming the lights in the medical bay. “We’ll talk again later.”
As the Doctor closed the door gently Jack sighed feeling the bed dip behind him and a body spoon up against his.
“I’m never saying goodbye to you again,” Jack breathed, a soft smile on his face.
oOo
“Jack, you can’t go on living like this,” the Doctor shouted. Since Jack’s seizure in the control room the two men had been having a circular argument. “Soon you’ll be in pain so bad it’ll be all you can think about, all you can feel”
Jack looked at the Doctor, his face impassive. “But I’ll have Ianto. So long as he’s around I can bear it.”
The Doctor looked for a second as though he was going to grab Jack by the shoulders and shake him but he reigned in his temper. “It’s not Ianto, it’s just a hallucination.”
Jack looked at the Doctor, hurt.
“Okay,” the Doctor conceded. “For a while you might have Ianto but eventually the pressure on other areas of your brain will become too great and blood vessels will start to rupture.
“But I’ll still look good,” Jack quipped half heartedly. Ianto, leaning against the door frame, shook his head in fond resignation.
The Doctor ignored the comment. “You’ll die of a brain haemorrhage, your body will reset and then the whole cycle will start again, the length of time between each rupture reducing every time as your memories increase.”
“My memories?”
“Yes Jack. That’s what’s causing all this. The human brain is only designed for a maximum lifespan of 150-200 years, even by your time. But you’ve lived a lot longer than that. Your body resets when you revive, correcting any physical damage, but your memories accumulate and your skull is becoming too small to accommodate them.”
Jack shook his head. “No, I’ll take the risk to be with Ianto.”
“Don’t be stubborn. You said Ianto cared for you,” the Doctor replied, speaking to Jack’s back as he walked out of the control room.
At the top of the stairs Jack paused. In front of him stood Ianto, his expression downcast.
“Do you think he would want you to be in pain?” the Doctor continued. “Pain so bad that you’re miserable?”
Ianto raised his hand and caressed Jack’s cheek, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Jack leaned into the touch.
“Knowing you are in pain cuts me in two, sir.”
Jack smiled at the familiar title. Turning his head Jack kissed Ianto’s palm. Ianto’s lips curved up just a fraction.
“You know you have to do this,” Ianto whispered as he dropped his hand. Taking Jack by the shoulders, he gently turned him back round to face the Doctor.
When Jack did not make a move Ianto pushed him lightly in the small of his back. “Go.”
Reluctantly Jack began walking back down the stairs to the Doctor. “So what do we do?”
oOo
“When you expand my skull I’m not going to become some talking head in a jar am I?” Jack asked later when the Doctor had come up with a plan. He grinned at the look of shock on the Doctors face. “Sorry, Ianto loved Futurama, a cartoon series,” he explained. “They had a museum of talking heads of all the great and the good from the past.” Jack smiled softly at the memory of Futurama DVD marathons with Ianto when they wanted something a bit more light and fluffy than James Bond.
The Doctor smiled but his hearts were beating double time. He did not know how much Jack knew or suspected about his future but whatever it was the Doctor did not want Jack to find out anything from him. The man was enough of a thorn in the side of the laws of physics as it was.
oOo
“I don't want to lose you again.” Jack squeezed Ianto’s hand as he lay on the improvised operating table in the Tardis medical room
Ianto squeezed back, his hand warm and solid, feeling totally real. “You won't. I promise.”
“You're a figment of my imagination,” Jack said sadly, acknowledging verbally for the first time what he had known deep down ever since that first, joyous, moment when he had seen him after so, so, long. “You're not real.”
Ianto smiled. “You're an immortal man. You worked for Torchwood saving Earth from alien invasion.” Ianto leaned forward, his breath tickling Jack's ears. “Who knows what's truly real and what's not? Certainly not you or me.”
Jack’s heart ached with longing that it could be true but he shook his head. “No, you’re gone,” he ground out through the pain, both physical and emotional. “I don’t believe in miracles.”
“Maybe not,” Ianto admitted. “But I do. I fell in love with one remember?” Ianto gently brushed a stay tear from Jack’s cheek.
Jack breathed deeply at Ianto’s simple expression of the feelings he guarded so closely. He had felt guilty for so many years about so many things regarding Ianto.
“Oh and Jack,” Ianto continued softly, his warm breath caressing Jack’s temple. “When the time comes to let me go, don’t fight it. It’ll be okay, I swear. Never forget, I love you and I’ll always be with you.”
He felt something deep inside loosen as the anaesthetic took effect. Taking another deep breath, Ianto’s soft lips on his forehead, Jack fell gently into unconsciousness.
oOo
“How’re you feeling?” the Doctor asked as Jack stumbled, bleary eyed, into the control room. He moved like an old man, Jack reflected, as he took his time negotiating the stairs one by one. But there again, he was an old man and likely to get much, much older.
“Coffee?” the Doctor asked producing an old fashioned tartan flask from a recess in the console like a magician producing a rabbit from a hat.
Jack nodded, and instantly regretted it as pain lanced through his head.
“Temporary side effect of the procedure,” the Doctor explained. ”Should be gone momentarily.”
Jack looked at the Doctor sceptically, one eye squeezed shut in an attempt to minimise the pain.
“In a few hours, days possibly. I don’t know but soon,” the Doctor assured him. “The Tardis has never done anything like this. She had to rewrite your DNA from the ground up. We’re in uncharted territory.”
“Just another day at the office then?” Jack asked, accepting to mug of coffee the Doctor gave him with a smile. He cradled the mug in his hands, relishing the warmth.
“Always reminds me of him, coffee,” Jack said fondly. “Didn’t matter what we were doing Ianto would always be able to produce coffee from somewhere and make the worst times just that little bit better.”
The Doctor nodded, taking a sip from his own mug. “I wish I could have met him.”
“Yeah, me too. He would have called you out on everything, just like he did me.” Jack smiled and took a sip of his coffee.
The Doctor looked over in concern as Jack pulled a disgusted face and spat the liquid back into the mug.
“What are you trying to do?” Jack demanded. “Poison me? Check I still can’t die?”
“No, of course not.” the Doctor came running over and quickly checked Jack over then sniffed at Jack’s mug. He took a tentative sip. “Tastes fine to me.”
“Well you have it,” Jack replied, stalking round the console and picking up the Doctor’s mug. He took another sip, smaller this time, and managed to swallow but only just. “Is this another side effect of the procedure? Like the headache?”
The Doctor began pushing buttons and turning knobs in a sequence too fast to follow before grabbing the suspended TV screen and spinning it around so the could both see it.
“No, no, I don’t think so,” the Doctor admitted as Jack stared at the swirling images on the screen. “Apparently the procedure has made a few small changes to your physiology beyond the one we desired.”
“One of those being losing the taste for coffee?” Jack asked, not really wanting to know the answer.
“Maybe it’ll come back in time?” the Doctor suggested, though he did not hold out much hope.
“No,” Jack shouted. The Doctor stiffened at Jack’s sudden outburst. “I won’t. I can’t. I can’t lose the last thing of him I have.” He grabbed the Doctor’s lapels and pulled him close, shouting straight into his face. “Undo the procedure, the whole thing. I don’t care about the headaches or the hallucinations, just give him back to me, at least this one thing. Please,” he begged.
Tears ran down Jack’s face as the Doctor pulled him into an awkward hug.
“I’m sorry Jack, I really am, but maybe it’s time to let him go.”
Jack pulled back, glaring at the Doctor. “He was the one truly good thing that happened to me in the entire time you abandoned me after this ship made me who I…” Jack paused. “What did you say?”
“Maybe it’s time to let him go?” the Doctor repeated, cautiously, as a smile slowly formed on Jack’s face.
“He knew. He knew!”
The Doctor looked at Jack, concerned. “Who knew what?”
“Ianto. He knew. The last thing he said to me before the procedure was that when the time came to let him go I wasn’t to fight it. I thought he meant the hallucinations but he knew. He knew my tastebuds would change, that I’d lose that final connection to him. But if he was a hallucination caused by the pain, how did he know? I didn’t know. Even the Tardis didn’t know. But he did which means at least part of him was real.”
“But Jack…”
“No Doctor.” Jack hugged his friend, his smile brighter than the Doctor had seen in a very long time. “I know it sounds strange but I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” Jack held the Doctor at arms length and spun him around, eyes bright with unshed tears, before flopping down in one of the seats against the guard rail. “I wonder when I’ll get to see him again,” Jack asked, his voice full of hopeful longing, as a familiar voice came to him, chuckling softly, on an impossible breeze,
“Spoilers, sir. Spoilers.”