musesandlyrics | 5.29. Ladyhawke lyrics
5.29. Still here in this quiet room
Deep in delusion sending me over
Outside watch the world go by
Inside time stands still as I wonder
My Delirium - Ladyhawke
At first, Stuart really didn't know what led him to Hyde Park in London. He had to pick something up in the city that he had ordered the afternoon of his lunch with Tom at The Ivy, so after the package was tucked securely and deeply in the pocket of his thick, long coat, he decided rather than jumping straight in a cab to go to the hospital to visit Tom that he would walk part of the way instead. There had been a heavy snowfall and Hyde park was covered in a thick blanket of white. For some reason, it just reminded Stuart of home. Scotland always had a healthy snow fall in the winter and he knew he had been missing it. The park was gorgeous, and it had a crisp, fresh feeling to it. Kids were building snow men or pelting each other with snow balls, elderly couples were walking hand in gloved hand enjoying the sights, tourists were going crazy with cameras. It was just nice, and it helped Stuart clear his head a little.
He had paused on his way out of the park by a large, ornate fountain and took his cell phone out, hitting his parents phone number and standing there for a good half an hour just talking to them, offloading a little. He had told them a good portion of what had happened through conversations over the week, though he had to leave a lot of the case details out now it was heading to court. His parents didn't care about the legalities, though. They just cared about their son, and their son's partner. They asked about Tom, of course. They had come to learn he was special to Stuart and that this whole thing could well be something serious, but they never pumped him for details. They always waited for him to supply them. Which he did, admitting to them he felt sort of distant from Tom at the moment after everything that had gone on. That although his lover was awake, there hadn't really been a chance to resolve anything without it only feeling like Stuart was just talking constantly in Tom's face. Stuart knew there couldn't be any rush with any of this, Tom needed time, and he needed time to absorb it all, to get his head around it, to process it. Stuart just found himself feeling kind of lonely in the process, like he was on a different page to anyone else. Tom had his friends, Ethan and Sophie. Ethan and Sophie had each other. Gee was eyeballs deep in wrapping up case work, and she had her Irish cock in plan to get to ASAP. Stuart had gone home to rest the day before, but ended up just sitting on the side of the bed staring at the wall for two hours lost in his thoughts, feeling more alone than he ever had since first arriving in London. He hadn't even realised he had forgotten to turn the heating on until he started to shiver.
Now it was the next day. Valentine's Day. The reason Stuart even braved the city in this weather in the first place. The snow was romantic in a way, but again, he seemed to be the only person in that park that was on his own. The homesickness just didn't help... the phone call home did, at least a little. Hearing his parents voice was always nice, even if it inevitably made him miss his family more. The call had ended with him promising them he was okay, even if he didn't feel 100% happy right at that moment. He still felt that unsettled feeling regularly like he wanted to cry, and he wasn't even sure what was causing it. He couldn't shake the tiredness, either, like his body was still trying to make up for all the lost sleep of the past week and a half.
The hospital was cosy and welcoming, Valentines decorations inevitably adorning the wards to cheer people up. Stuart was greeted by the ICU nurses, most of whom knew him by now considering what a regular fixture he had been since Tom was admitted. He offered them a polite smile and wished them a happy Valentine's Day. They seemed content with the numerous boxes of chocolate and sweeties at the nurses station, though, so he didn't actually feel guilty for not getting them something... even just in thanks for all they had done for Tom. Stuart felt a small dip of disappointment in his gut when he got to Tom's room and found him out like a light. He looked too content - and pain free - so there was no way Stuart would even dream of waking him. Instead, he just quietly crossed the room, making sure his shoes didn't make too much noise on the lino, and placed the large bunch of long-stemmed red roses on the bed side table, neatly shifting some of the Get Well cards to make room. He was watching Tom's sleeping face closely as he took his heavy coat and gloves off, and then sat down in the chair closest to Tom's side.
For a long while, he just sat there watching Tom sleep, his hand resting over the top of Tom's fingers as he listened to the steady beeps of the machines. He must have sat for a good hour in silence there, spending part of the time looking out the window at the view of the Thames in the distance with the grey snow clouds looming above. He was glad Tom was okay, and they could at least be together for Valentine's Day. Better a sleeping partner than a comatose one, right? The thought that was most prominent in Stuart's mind was swirling around there again. He knew that if any of this had gone the other way, and he had lost Tom, whether it be by break up or worst, he would have been back on the next plane home to Scotland, to his family. Permanently. The whole ordeal had really hit home with him, cut deep, and he knew that he had lost some love for London along the way that he needed to get back. He knew the only reason he was still sitting here and not throwing in his job to return home was Tom, and Tom alone.
He huffed out a heavy breath and put a hand up to catch a stray tear before it even reached his cheek. He gave his head a small shake and cleared his throat, shrugging off the emotion that kept wanting to crawl up into his throat and lodge itself there in a ball. He shifted the chair closer to the bed and then pulled his coat around his legs and up over his shoulder despite the warmth of the room. He rested his head down on the side of Tom's bed beside his hand, and then let the tiredness claim him again so he could stop thinking. His eyes slipped closed and he fell asleep before he had much of a chance to fight it.
Word Count | 1,191
Deep in delusion sending me over
Outside watch the world go by
Inside time stands still as I wonder
My Delirium - Ladyhawke
At first, Stuart really didn't know what led him to Hyde Park in London. He had to pick something up in the city that he had ordered the afternoon of his lunch with Tom at The Ivy, so after the package was tucked securely and deeply in the pocket of his thick, long coat, he decided rather than jumping straight in a cab to go to the hospital to visit Tom that he would walk part of the way instead. There had been a heavy snowfall and Hyde park was covered in a thick blanket of white. For some reason, it just reminded Stuart of home. Scotland always had a healthy snow fall in the winter and he knew he had been missing it. The park was gorgeous, and it had a crisp, fresh feeling to it. Kids were building snow men or pelting each other with snow balls, elderly couples were walking hand in gloved hand enjoying the sights, tourists were going crazy with cameras. It was just nice, and it helped Stuart clear his head a little.
He had paused on his way out of the park by a large, ornate fountain and took his cell phone out, hitting his parents phone number and standing there for a good half an hour just talking to them, offloading a little. He had told them a good portion of what had happened through conversations over the week, though he had to leave a lot of the case details out now it was heading to court. His parents didn't care about the legalities, though. They just cared about their son, and their son's partner. They asked about Tom, of course. They had come to learn he was special to Stuart and that this whole thing could well be something serious, but they never pumped him for details. They always waited for him to supply them. Which he did, admitting to them he felt sort of distant from Tom at the moment after everything that had gone on. That although his lover was awake, there hadn't really been a chance to resolve anything without it only feeling like Stuart was just talking constantly in Tom's face. Stuart knew there couldn't be any rush with any of this, Tom needed time, and he needed time to absorb it all, to get his head around it, to process it. Stuart just found himself feeling kind of lonely in the process, like he was on a different page to anyone else. Tom had his friends, Ethan and Sophie. Ethan and Sophie had each other. Gee was eyeballs deep in wrapping up case work, and she had her Irish cock in plan to get to ASAP. Stuart had gone home to rest the day before, but ended up just sitting on the side of the bed staring at the wall for two hours lost in his thoughts, feeling more alone than he ever had since first arriving in London. He hadn't even realised he had forgotten to turn the heating on until he started to shiver.
Now it was the next day. Valentine's Day. The reason Stuart even braved the city in this weather in the first place. The snow was romantic in a way, but again, he seemed to be the only person in that park that was on his own. The homesickness just didn't help... the phone call home did, at least a little. Hearing his parents voice was always nice, even if it inevitably made him miss his family more. The call had ended with him promising them he was okay, even if he didn't feel 100% happy right at that moment. He still felt that unsettled feeling regularly like he wanted to cry, and he wasn't even sure what was causing it. He couldn't shake the tiredness, either, like his body was still trying to make up for all the lost sleep of the past week and a half.
The hospital was cosy and welcoming, Valentines decorations inevitably adorning the wards to cheer people up. Stuart was greeted by the ICU nurses, most of whom knew him by now considering what a regular fixture he had been since Tom was admitted. He offered them a polite smile and wished them a happy Valentine's Day. They seemed content with the numerous boxes of chocolate and sweeties at the nurses station, though, so he didn't actually feel guilty for not getting them something... even just in thanks for all they had done for Tom. Stuart felt a small dip of disappointment in his gut when he got to Tom's room and found him out like a light. He looked too content - and pain free - so there was no way Stuart would even dream of waking him. Instead, he just quietly crossed the room, making sure his shoes didn't make too much noise on the lino, and placed the large bunch of long-stemmed red roses on the bed side table, neatly shifting some of the Get Well cards to make room. He was watching Tom's sleeping face closely as he took his heavy coat and gloves off, and then sat down in the chair closest to Tom's side.
For a long while, he just sat there watching Tom sleep, his hand resting over the top of Tom's fingers as he listened to the steady beeps of the machines. He must have sat for a good hour in silence there, spending part of the time looking out the window at the view of the Thames in the distance with the grey snow clouds looming above. He was glad Tom was okay, and they could at least be together for Valentine's Day. Better a sleeping partner than a comatose one, right? The thought that was most prominent in Stuart's mind was swirling around there again. He knew that if any of this had gone the other way, and he had lost Tom, whether it be by break up or worst, he would have been back on the next plane home to Scotland, to his family. Permanently. The whole ordeal had really hit home with him, cut deep, and he knew that he had lost some love for London along the way that he needed to get back. He knew the only reason he was still sitting here and not throwing in his job to return home was Tom, and Tom alone.
He huffed out a heavy breath and put a hand up to catch a stray tear before it even reached his cheek. He gave his head a small shake and cleared his throat, shrugging off the emotion that kept wanting to crawl up into his throat and lodge itself there in a ball. He shifted the chair closer to the bed and then pulled his coat around his legs and up over his shoulder despite the warmth of the room. He rested his head down on the side of Tom's bed beside his hand, and then let the tiredness claim him again so he could stop thinking. His eyes slipped closed and he fell asleep before he had much of a chance to fight it.
Word Count | 1,191