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I admit to having been reluctant in asking of this, but it truly is... disconcerting, and I am not at all certain whether this is normal in this world. But it is better to obtain as much information as possible, in situations where one can do so.
[He knows he is dithering, so he just comes out with it.] If anyone in this place has, ah, unusual ( Read more... )
[He knows he is dithering, so he just comes out with it.] If anyone in this place has, ah, unusual ( Read more... )
He cannot help but think of the head of the Council 'correcting' him in the matter of who gave the humans morphing abilities, and it is, after all, only logical that the party with the most to gain by lying would be the ones doing so.
Ax can imagine how painful it would be if his human friends forgot him. How much worse it must be if the one who has forgotten is someone you love... someone you gave up so much for.]
Now I know what you menn, men-tuh, when you said it was not the first time that being-ing has interfered, feer-duh, with you.
[This is good, ( ... )
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[He breaks off, shakes his head.] I wanted to be a hero, when I was your age. I thought it was all some grand adventure. But at that time, I had no idea what it meant. That it meant giving up a part of yourself to defend what is most important.
But I did terrible things, and our military, they... suppressed certain information. Like they tried to with the quantum virus that War-Prince Alloran unleashed upon the Hork-Bajir planet. They did not want our people to know that it was through my actions--and inaction--that War-Prince Alloran came to be The Abomination.
[He knows that it cannot be fair, to thrust all this upon his brother now. But he wants him to know, to not think him some paragon of a warrior when he falls so very short of that.]
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Ax has spoken to Alloran as Alloran. He has heard the War-Prince beg for death, and was not able to grant it to him. A hope that there would be another way to free him, or cowardice? Ax is still not certain which it was.]
You... I cannot believe, leeve it, Elfangor. There must have been extentuating, tenn-you-ate-ing, circumstances.
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But there is nothing to be done for it now.]
Regardless of the circumstances, I am responsible. That was one of the reasons I had to return.
[The other, much more personal, was already obliquely spoken of when he shared that bit of his past with that other fellow, intentionally publicly so that Aximili might see, might understand.
And yet, there are more reasons beyond that. Oh, of course it all boiled down to the willful meddling of the Ellimist and things falling into place according to his plans, but still, he'd had his own reasons--the things which made this all his responsibility, as well.
There was that nagging sense of Andalite duty, of doing the honorable thing, though he suspected that others probably felt a much more defined sense of it within themselves.
And far more importantly than that was this. His brother. When the Ellimist had told him he would not exist in the timeline he had created with Loren ( ... )
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He did, of course, eavesdrop on Elfangor's conversation with the human male from the kingdom; knows it would not have been public for no reason. It is strange to think that Elfangor has lived an entire life Ax knows nothing about.
But there are more immediate concerns to deal with.]
I can dee, demorph, but I cannot change to anything else. What has your experience, ee-ence, been?
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In an attempt at distraction, he quickly presses on,] I have not tried morphing to anything else yet, as I have some reservations about using any of my limited number of morphs in this place. A kafit or djabala would not exactly blend in well with the environment, and-- [A decidedly uncomfortable look flits across his face as he averts his eyes.] I will certainly not be morphing Taxxon again.
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Again?
[Any child knows what one must do to keep from becoming a nothlit, and the conclusion that Elfangor did this deliberately is inescapable.]
Why, whuh, why would you have done that?
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But he knows that is not what Aximili means.]
Because... I had run away, little brother. And when one does that, they usually do not do so with the intention of returning. I became human, willingly, and--at the time, what I thought to be permanently.
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Until the Ellimist forced you to come back.
[Ax cannot help but think of his own reaction to unwelcome news from the Council, and he finds that he does not feel so capable of judging his brother for leaving it all behind than he did when he first heard the story Elfangor told the human.]
I fee, feel that I might have done the same as you. Left-- run, ruh-nuh away, [he amends, because he does not want to spare himself by making it sound better than it truly is.] I have wan, wan-teh-duh to.
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[But even that quirk of his lips falls into a serious set.] I did run away, yes, but I had been in the midst of a mission when I deserted. You... you are stranded on Earth now, in the time where you should be, aren't you? The Fleet had spread our forces too thin, there would not be reinforcements available for some time, I know that much. It-- If you chose to remain, it. It is not as though you have much of an alternative, little brother. There is no shame in your situation.
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I do not mean, mee-nuh, running-ing away from Earth. I know this to be imposs, poss, impossible. I mean running-ing away from my friend-zuh.
It is no excuse, eck-skew-suh, but... I was ashamed, shaym-duh, of not being-ing able to repay their trust in me.
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