Video.
[for some reason Nathan has set up his Forge on a tripod or some shit, so he can sit across the desk from it and address his viewers in the manner of the Queen's Christmas speech.]
First things first, if I wanted to show my friend Joe a Star Wars DVD, how would I go about making that happen? There's no video place listed in that bitchy introductory pamphlet, and my room doesn't have a TV. Even bloody bedsits come with a telly! I don't want to sound like a nerd or anything, but if we can all share footage of each other doin' boring shite, is a film or two so much to ask?
[a pause; he leans forward, serious]
Now secondly, is it just me, or has everyone gone batshit?
I mean, I'm new here and all, so maybe this is business as usual, but there's a helluva lot of people actin' like lovesick teenagers all around the place and to be honest, it's pretty disgusting! I don't need to hear about your poetry or your muffins or your beloved's cherry lips or any of that utter rubbish.
Because it is almost February 14th and I am not only single, but in a vast desert of feminine disinterest. There isn't even a mirage on the horizon, that is how devastatingly blue-balling this place is. And therefore I have a right, nay, a duty to bitterly mock everyone who is actually getting any.
[he flips two fingers at the screen dismissively]
Happy Hallmark Holiday! You lucky fucking bastards. Remember to use a condom.
First things first, if I wanted to show my friend Joe a Star Wars DVD, how would I go about making that happen? There's no video place listed in that bitchy introductory pamphlet, and my room doesn't have a TV. Even bloody bedsits come with a telly! I don't want to sound like a nerd or anything, but if we can all share footage of each other doin' boring shite, is a film or two so much to ask?
[a pause; he leans forward, serious]
Now secondly, is it just me, or has everyone gone batshit?
I mean, I'm new here and all, so maybe this is business as usual, but there's a helluva lot of people actin' like lovesick teenagers all around the place and to be honest, it's pretty disgusting! I don't need to hear about your poetry or your muffins or your beloved's cherry lips or any of that utter rubbish.
Because it is almost February 14th and I am not only single, but in a vast desert of feminine disinterest. There isn't even a mirage on the horizon, that is how devastatingly blue-balling this place is. And therefore I have a right, nay, a duty to bitterly mock everyone who is actually getting any.
[he flips two fingers at the screen dismissively]
Happy Hallmark Holiday! You lucky fucking bastards. Remember to use a condom.