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[ajhatesbunnies]

It all seemed surreal, and so confusing. Xander, sitting next to me, giving me the beady eyes look that he was still able to pull off with one eye covered by that black patch. I love when he gives me the beady eyes look. It bothered me though, the more I looked at him, the more thoughts of heaven, and food

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[oneeyed_zeppo]

I nodded and followed her out. We had lost our spark, our love. The void was filled with paranoia. I sighed and got into the car. I smiled at her and I started the car. We ate at the Doublemeat Palace. I having a double meat medley while Anya decided on whether to salad or medley it.

I frowned remembering the memories of this place and the memories of us. The memories of our...wedding. I sighed again and dug into my sandwhich.

[ajhatesbunnies]

I knew I had hurt him, I could tell by the smile he gave me. He was my ex-lover, and I hoped he was still my best friend. The ride to Doublemeat Palace was silent as Xander looked at me, and I looked out the window, so I wouldn't have to look at him

[oneeyed_zeppo]

We ate in silence, most anyway. Me chewing loudly and her slurping and crunching with the fries until finally, words. I sighed and looked up at her. Who was she? She wasn't the girl I loved, that was for sure. I smiled, my sheepish phony smile.

"Yeah."

I looked at my watch. We needed to get to Buffy's pronto. If I was going to get my Anya back we needed to solve this mystery. I just hoped it would solve everything.

[ajhatesbunnies]

I wanted back in heaven. I wanted to be anywhere but in front of Xander's phony smile.

So I jumped up. I knew he wanted to go to Buffy's house. He wanted to hide behind her. I just wanted away, away from this man and his expectations. I didn't have words to say to him, so for what maybe the first time in my life, I walked away, without speaking. I only hoped he would realize that I needed to get to Buffy's house as much as he did at that moment.

[ajhatesbunnies]

I walked away from the man who I once wanted to spend eternity with, and I walked away without saying a word.

Now he was stuck in my head. His adorable but phony smile. His real smile. The surprised look on his face when he realized that I was alive again.

Oh god, no.

A muted sense of guilt overwhelmed me, and memories of my past with Xander ran through my head.

There were flashbacks to before the wedding, when he announced our engagement, and Willow made magical decorations to celebrate.

I began to feel a void, caused by the absence of Xander.
I needed him more than any slayer, or Cordelia or any of the other Scoobies.

Turning around quickly I ran into the crowded fast food establishment to find my ex fiancee, to apologize and for me to say how much I needed him.

[oneeyed_zeppo]

I held Ann for who knows how long. It would take a long time but maybe we'd get to be normal and regular...or at least back to what we once were. Happy. Beyond happy.

Ecstacy.

I sighed and opened the door for her. "To the Summers' home mam?"

[ajhatesbunnies]

"Yes. We need to go there. That seems to be where everyone involved in this strange time warp is going."

I held back tears that wanted to spring from my eyes. There really wasn't time for things such as emotions, and wanting to spend time with my best friend. I had a mission, and maybe afterwards there would be time, time for Xander and I to pick up where we left off on that last day in Sunnydale.