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[scionofgrace]

I'm in a terribly good mood at the moment.  Part of it is probably hormonal, but part of it is definitely the fact that Pixie decided that my computer bag was the most fascinating thing ever and spent about fifteen minutes attacking it.  It was fun to watch.  I was feeling guilty for only giving her about twenty minutes of freedom yesterday (

Comments

[izhilzha]

Good points. I would honestly argue a different take on your second portion, that often we don't express our emotions because we're afraid we'll be judged or rejected because of them. I've had a relatively trouble-free life, by many people's measurements, and I'm aware that I tend to melodrama at times. But no one likes being told (explicitly or implicitly) that they shouldn't be feeling what they're feeling.

Also, I'm starting to think that we Christians put far too much emphasis on giving rather than receiving. Love is both. Either that, or I'm just doing it all backwards--I know how to give, but I've been told that to be a good person, one shouldn't even want to receive blessing in life, and...I am not that person. I am a hollow wanting, sometimes, and I don't think that's a bad or wrong thing, just a human thing.

[scionofgrace]

Also, I'm starting to think that we Christians put far too much emphasis on giving rather than receiving. Love is both. Either that, or I'm just doing it all backwards--I know how to give, but I've been told that to be a good person, one shouldn't even want to receive blessing in life, and...I am not that person. I am a hollow wanting, sometimes, and I don't think that's a bad or wrong thing, just a human thing.

You've got a point there. Of course we should want to receive blessings! That's why they're called blessings. I've known people who actively reject anybody who tries to do something nice for them, out of some misguided definition of "selflessness."

Have you read Till We Have Faces? It's such a good demonstration of positive and negative selflessness, how the wrong kind can suck everybody dry. We have to allow ourselves to feel blessed, and let other people bless us, 'cause otherwise it's a whole new level of hypocrisy.

[scionofgrace]

Oh, and I think that the my "desire to conform" is related to your "desire to not be judged/rejected": two sides of the same coin? Which is why it makes even less sense when you're around good friends. If they reject us off one mood, they must not know us that well after all.