(Untitled)

[scientificsnark]

It was almost too much to take in at once. It was a good thing Rodney was a genius, or he might not have absorbed any of it. As it was, he was getting there.

As far as he understood it, he was on a weird island populated by people from varying dimensions, realities and universes, not to mention dinosaurs, tigers, monkeys, elephants and mummy-

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[flyboy_shepp]

John couldn't really knock on Rodney's door or anything, and even if the huts had still been there, he wouldn't really have bothered. He just stuck his head inside, and once he saw Rodney there, strolled in.

Giddy wasn't exactly the word John would use to describe how he'd felt the past few days, but it might have come close. When he was ten.

Either way, John found it comforting to be able to stroll in, toss the extra empty sidearm and two clips onto Rodney's mattress, and stand over him, arms crossed. Including leaning over his laptop to see what he was doing, just to piss him off.

[flyboy_shepp]

"Really." John didn't even need to try to sound as disbelieving as he found that. He couldn't even imagine taking orders from Rodney that weren't move this or shoot that or turn on that piece of extremely dangerous Ancient equipment and try not to blow us all to hell, Major. "Somehow I'm not buying it."

[scientificsnark]

"Well, it was between me and Samantha Carter," Rodney said, ignoring Sheppard's skepticism. "I suppose they wanted another woman, after..." he trailed off, frowning, not wanting to end that sentence. "Anyway. They made the right choice in the end, I think. There's no way I'd have time to run an entire city, what with all the incredible scientific breakthroughs I make every day. I'm only human, after all." Except that one time he'd almost ascended. That had been a good day, except for the almost-dying.

[flyboy_shepp]

"Yeah," John said with a snort, completely ignoring the part of that he wasn't even thinking about. Atlantis without Elizabeth was just...wrong, somehow. "I'm sure it's because she's a woman, and not because she's military. You know she used to be here? First few months after we showed up, she did too."

[scientificsnark]

"Carter? Really? Huh." He paused thoughtfully. "Did she find a way out?" There was a note of jealousy in his voice, because if Sam could find a way off the island and he couldn't, that would just be too much for his ego to bear.

[flyboy_shepp]

John didn't think he was ever going to understand the whole love-hate thing Rodney had going for Sam Carter. But he was a dutiful friend, and would only lie if it was for Rodney's own good. Or John's amusement.

"No, she didn't," he said with a small shake of his head. "A Stargate showed up here once. Neither of you slept for a week trying to get it to work. Then it disappeared. Just like that."

[scientificsnark]

"What? Did someone steal it or something? Did it fall into a pit of lava?" Rodney gave John a thoroughly incredulous look. Stargates didn't just appear and then disappear on their own.

[flyboy_shepp]

"Yeah, Rodney, someone just came along and rolled a sixty-four ton Stargate up the mountain and into the dormant volcano." Actually, John was pretty sure the volcano wasn't exactly dormant with the climate change, but he preferred not to think about it.

John shook his head and sat up when he started to feel a little woozy from lying down with his head hanging over the edge. "It just disappeared, and thinking about it two years later is still demoralizing."

[scientificsnark]

Rodney blinked. "There's a volcano here?" This place just kept getting better and better. He sighed.

"I guess it could be worse. I'm...not really sure how, but it probably could be."

[flyboy_shepp]

"Our life is a TV show, Rodney, it can always be worse," John said, and for a moment, he wasn't even aware he'd let it slip.

And it wasn't like he wanted to keep it from Rodney, John would just rather let him get his mind around everything before dropping another bomb on his head.

[scientificsnark]

"Yeah, that would suck," said Rodney, figuring he was being hypothetical. He reached for his laptop before stopping.

"Wait, what?"

[flyboy_shepp]

"Yeah, about that," John said, rubbing the back of his neck and looking a cross between not wanting to be there and like he was being made to spit out his deepest, darkest secrets. "Apparently in some universe out there, Atlantis is just a TV show."

[scientificsnark]

"It must be a pretty sadistic universe if people haven't got anything better to do than write all the horrible stuff that's happened to us!" Rodney said hotly. He was taking this all rather well, he thought - better than Sheppard had taken the news of Carson and Elizabeth, anyway. "How did you find out?"

[flyboy_shepp]

John just shrugged in agreement. It made sense, anyway. Nobody could have that much bad and good luck at the same time - even if thinking that was just a whole chicken or egg situation that made his head hurt.

"The bookshelf has film reels along with books. Every now and then it pops out a few film reels of-" he made air quotes and a face usually seen on ten year olds, "-'Stargate Atlantis'. I've only watched a couple." After a moment he added, "SG-1's got their own show. We're a spin-off."

[scientificsnark]

"WHAT!" Rodney exploded from the bed, leaping to his feet and immediately starting to pace up and down, gesturing furiously as he talked. Well...ranted, really. "A spin-off? Seriously? My life is a spin-off? I bet I'm not even one of the main characters! Nooo, not the guy who saves everyone time and time again. I'm probably regulated to a guest spot every four episodes! Never mind all the incredible technological advances I've made, or how many lives I've saved, I bet it's all 'Hunky McHunkerson as COLONEL JOHN SHEPPARD' in the credits!"

[flyboy_shepp]

"Wow," John said, his head following Rodney's movements, and he wasn't sure if he was amused or impressed. Probably both. No, definitely both. And he might have secretly preened at the Hunky McHunkerson bit.

He gave Rodney a few seconds to breathe, then spoke up. "I'm top billed, actually," he said with a smirk.