The Not Rape Epidemic

[schmevil]

Trigger warning for sexual assault survivors!

I was going to write a post about this subject, but it's perhaps too soon for me to gather my wandering thoughts into something understandable and worthwhile. For now, I'll just link to the excellent The Not Rape Epidemic. If you've never read it, do so. It's a great essay. Otherwise it's worth a

Comments

[elspethdixon]

Besides,” my ex offered nonchalantly, “she had the body of a grown woman at age eleven.”

Jesus Christ, I had the body of a grown woman at eleven. It didn't mean I wasn't still a child. (I think the most shocking part to me, sadly, is not the fact that so many late-teen/early twenties men are willing to have sex with 11-13-year-old children, because the willingness to make excuses for the likes of Roman Polanski really speaks volumes about that, but the fact that in that specific instance the child's parents knew and apparently were not disturbed or upset by the idea of a legal adult "dating" their eleven-year-old).

[alchemine]

I have an 11-year-old, and I wouldn't even let another 11-year-old date her, never mind a man in his twenties. I can't comprehend the worldview that made the girl's parents think that was OK.

[schmevil]

Yeah, I just... I work with sixteen years that, if I had any say in the matter, wouldn't be dating anyone two years older than them.

I can't understand how parents would let their eleven year old seriously date someone, let alone someone so much older. D:

[schmevil]

I don't understand it at all. Speculating as to why it would be 'ok' is just depressing me.

But yeah, it does not surprise me that people can find new and exciting ways to excuse statutory rape.

[aliasjack]

And there's the knot in my stomach. The important things are rarely pleasant to hear, but that makes them no less necessary.

[schmevil]

This is such a hard essay to read, but also, such a great one. It really drives things home.

Hmm. Maybe it should go on the resource page?

[aliasjack]

...Yes. It seems a lot different than most of the other stuff we keep there, but with the importance of the things it's communicating, I certainly think it could stand to be there.

[wanttobeatree]

My youngest cousin is turning eleven this year and I live in this CONSTANT STATE OF ANXIETY that pretty soon she's going to start facing situations like these. ffffff I just hope like hell that anything she can't say to her mum she'll be able to say to me.

[schmevil]

Just be there for her. *hugs*

[dlasta]

Great link but ow, so tough to read.

[schmevil]

Yeah, this is my third time through. It's a hard read every time, but it's worth it.

[dlasta]

Every person should read this. *nods*

[parsimonia]

Honestly, it was when I was 12/13 that I got the creepiest looks/comments from men, and at that age I was probably still just wearing training bras. Only happened a few times, and nothing major, but uhg it still was very confusing and degrading.

Something else that I think needs to be said/done more often, is educating boys as well as girls. And not just in the "protect your female friends" sense, but teaching what constitutes consent and how they are not entitled to someone else's body, and to discourage such behaviour among their peers.

[schmevil]

Yes, this. Boys need to have a better understanding of consent, and need to have more respect for themselves and each other. I think that... chipping away at competitive, bullying masculinity would go a long way.