"Identity Theft, the Gift that Keeps on Giving"

[scendan]

Or...

"Once I had a Best Friend, and her Name was Vanessa Eads"

(Warning...this is a nasty, sordid tale of betrayal...a story that I thought I'd read the last chapter of a few years ago. Unfortunately, it appears there may be an epilogue.)

Comments

[scendan]

Yeah, I'm going to sign up for credit protection. I had my credit reports flagged for serveral years through the three agencies, but in the last couple I let it lapse, since all had been quiet.

I'm doing ok, actually. I'm mad, but I'm not freaking out or beside myself. Just mad, and have an odd feeling I've been down this path before. And I realized I'd never told the story in a "public" place (like the internet) and that the reason was likely residual "don't tell mean stories on friends" impulses.

And I decided...to hell with that! How stupid! So I wrote the whole thing up, just on general principle.

Thanks for the support. :) See you Sunday!

[corva]

I am floored. I know that people do awful things (I have seen awful things done) but the stark crazy-like-a-fox twists to that painful story were overwhelming. I think rather numb. I will reply again once I chew it over a bit.
Did getting it out help you feel better? There is certainly no reason to hide it and it makes a frightful cautionary tale for real.

[scendan]

It did make me feel better, or at least it made me feel purged. I've done a lot of healing over the years, and actually talked about it to people...partly as a conscious decision to break the secrecy she had once tricked me into preserving on her behalf.

But I think knowing there might be this little tail leftover from THE tale (as it were) shook me slightly more than I realized.

It's not so bad that I'm worried for me, emotionally. But it's interesting how life has its own aftershocks.

Thanks for the reply. :)

[corva]

nodnod, I understand the aftershocks thing.
good luck with getting it closed and yourself protected.
...that secrecy thing though, that is very loud and clear to me from my past as one who has made it through abuse that had the same spin on it.
the more you try to break the cycle, prove you are stronger than it, the more you (and those around you) are free of it.
Thank you.

[scendan]

I like that last line:

The more you try to break the cycle, prove you are stronger than it, the more you, and those around you, are free of it.

That may go up on my wall. :)

*Hugs*

[karisu_sama]

Holy S***.

Excuse me while I shiver. How can someone who has been given so much unconditional generosity & caring be so evil in return???

There are a few things from that story hitting uncomfortably close to home (due to my current situation with an unofficial foster child who is my daughter's best friend), although they shouldn't be, rationally speaking.

I wish you the very best of outcomes in this matter.

Re: *Hugs*

[scendan]

Thank you.

Well, fortunately, I doubt everybody who takes in an unofficial foster child will get bitten in the end.

Honestly, I think Vanessa's crumbling took place over years. One of the few parts that still haunts me is the question of "when." When did her personality/morality/strong inner core decay to the point that she did this? I don't know.

When she was a child, even my mom, who is a GOOD judge of people (and I think I often am too) said, "Stick with Vanessa. She's got a good head on her shoulders."

Something turned that head around, in the nastiness of her growing up. And I fear she'll never be able to see straight ahead again. That's very sad. But regardless, it is no longer my problem, and I am well rid of it.

[didjiman]

Good luck. How come nice people are the ones that get screwed over? Sigh. I am the similar concerns as Karisu. It's too close to home.... Ugh.

[scendan]

Well...perhaps this foster child (I assume you're referring to the same situation?) could do well with counseling, if possible, if the fear is there that she is walking an emotional knife-edge.

I don't know what else to recommend. I hope it goes well, though, obviously!

Holy sheeeeit!

[europanya]

You'd mentioned to me before a few times that a former friend had ripped you off, but I had no idea to what extent, or for so long a time. And it looks as if there's no end in sight, either. My guess is the 'marriage' broke up or was on the rocks, so back to buggering you for "life" support with this latest credit card problem

Re: Holy sheeeeit!

[farmount]

People who are train wrecks tend to remain train wrecks. There's not a whole lot you can do about it, but save yourself and get away and get protection.
I agree with this statement. For a while I used to try to buy into the white knight image, of "I can help save this person" -- mainly because I was dragged into such situations via my husband, who had a very big white knight image. I finally got to the point where I realized that when adults have serious problems, it is necessary for them to resolve their own problems rather than to try to "save" them. This, along with a number of other issues, led to the dissolution of my marriage.

You'd think she'd be moving on to other friends and well-meaning helping hands.
One thing that is useful is warning other friends about this person so others aren't victimized in the same way. Yay LiveJournal!

Re: Holy sheeeeit!

[scendan]

Yeesh. Like you said of me, I'd heard bits and pieces of this story, but not all of it. *HUGS