"Rosalee refuses to speak / she doesn't know yet how hard that will be"

[scarletts_awry]

So... I'm not sure how much I like this but was tired of it sitting around my hard drive. It seems very short and stripped down even for me.

Therefore I also give you gorgeous pictures of Melina and Gary that I came across while looking for pictures of Melina's collarbone (for research purposes of course).

Title: Remarkable
Author: scarletts_awryRating: uh

Comments

[stellaluna_]

There's a very considered, deliberate pace to this, which I like, and which I think works well for the overall mood of the piece. It feels as if the whole thing is happening in slow motion, almost like moving underwater, and that helps to emphasize the quality of the dream. It also brings out all the little sensual details that Lindsay is focused on, all the little things about Stella. And I *love* the central image, Lindsay writing with her hand on Stella's body, and the idea of new and lost languages.

Oh, and the photos? Serious *guh*.

[scarletts_awry]

Thanks for replying to this. Now that you mention it, I think the pace was in part my problem--in that it is what it is and I can't get it out of that. I mean, I poked it, then I beat it like a pinata, but it refused to break open. And it does serve the dream-logic, but it turns it into an all-or-nothing kind of piece. (does that make any sense?)

I'm quite enamored of the central idea/image as well, which is why I wanted to get more out of it... I do have the option of writing Lindsay/x for the femmeslash challenge, but *shrug* I don't think I'm going to. (doesn't mean i won't change my mind at the drop of a hat, but at the moment no)

aren't the photos wonderfully distracting?