Jay Lake Memorial . . . Thing

[scarlettina]

So . . . we all gathered at the Six Arms today, ostensibly in honor of Jay. A lot of folks were there. I knew all of them. We greeted each other, hugged. We ordered food. We talked a little about Jay. We talked about a lot of other things. And then ebourne and I left. We went and had ice cream. And . . . that was it

Comments

[suricattus]

Have you thought about sitting shiva? I realize it's not quite the same without the actual family, but... you _were_ part of his family, and a quiet day of processing might allow you (and some others) more solace than a Jay-ish celebration....

[scarlettina]

Yes, that thought has occurred to me. I don't know if that would be precisely what I'm looking for. It's true that I've been going-going-going since he died with no time for quiet reflection, but I think there's more going on here. All the online hagiography ( as one friend puts it--and not incorrectly) still skirts around the human need for putting a cap on a life. Jay's family got it, and a couple of select friends, but not the rest of us. I've heard mumblings about something to be held at Orycon, but that's f'ing months away, and I don't intend to sit on my feelings until it's convenient or comfy for everyone else. I need to figure something out.

[joycemocha]

I think there's more of us drifting around trying to process this than many people think. Oddly, when I looked up at my Kalimpura poster yesterday around the time of the Seattle wake, for the first time I could clearly see Jay's signature on the poster (it was done with a fading red Sharpie and I hadn't noticed it before). I suspect it was a feature of the light and all, but still....

TL:DR; I agree with you about wanting a formal farewell.

[davidlevine]

I wonder if something could be done at the Locus Awards. We already have the Hawaiian shirts, after all

[herself_nyc]

::you::

[calendula_witch]

We, too, were a little surprised and disappointed that there was no more "public" service (indeed, no announcement of anything at all, which felt...weird...)--I mean, of course, those he was closest to at the end were absolutely right to do what felt right for them. But...yeah, the rest of us? Mark and I, at least, would like the chance to attend an actual memorial of some kind.