[fic] Transcendental Meditation and Strange Medicine
Ok yikes, that took slightly longer than expected. But it's still 12/12/12 in spirit, right? :D
Anyway, I just wrote a fic that is a sequel to another fic that I JUST REALIZED IS NOT ON MY LJ AT ALL. OK So now I am posting two new fics! (well, one is new-ish, and the other is actually new.) I'm just going to post them together because they kind of need to be read together, anyway. Ok yes.
There is at least one or two more fics in this universe I really want to write, because I really enjoy stoner Duo and awkward, snarky Heero POV.
OK Up first:
Title: Transcendental Meditation
Pairing: 1+2+1
Rating: PG for mention of drugs and language
Warnings/notes: drugs, language, Heero POV, AU
Transcendental Meditation
Duo Maxwell from the room down the hall staggered through my door like it was the most natural thing in the world. No matter that the door had been closed, no matter that I hadn’t invited him over. Duo Maxwell only plays by rules he has decided on for himself.
He had the kind of grin on his face that warned of trouble to come. Initially, he didn’t say a word to me, just strolled right in and made himself comfortable on my bed, kicking his long legs out in front of him. His braid, ever the accomplice, spilled out across the pillow behind him. There he was, silent (for once) and lying on my bed without permission and nevertheless looking like he had every right to be doing just that.
What are you doing in my room? I wanted to say. Can’t you see I’m writing a paper? But I stopped myself. All Duo wanted was for me to pay attention to him. Therefore, if I ignored him, I reasoned, he would undoubtedly get bored and leave me be. This had worked pretty well in the past. I didn’t know much about Duo Maxwell, other than that he was a sophomore from Pennsylvania and he liked to blast terrible thrash metal at three in the morning on week nights, but I did know he had the attention span of a third grader (and the same maturity level). I figured this distraction would last only a couple of minutes if I simply let him be.
I turned my back to Duo and placed my fingers once again over the laptop keys. There was a rustle of movement from my bed, then a long, dramatic sigh.
“Heeeeerrrroooo.”
What the hell? I spun around to stare at him. All he’d said was my name, but the enunciation was so bizarre that for a moment I thought he was having a seizure or something.
Duo gazed at me, his eyes large and so dilated they were like black pools rimmed in purple. He laughed, his fingers picking absently at the fading decal on his shirt. He looked completely, utterly out of it.
“What the hell?” I blurted, despite my resolve to ignore Duo entirely. “Are you on something?”
In response, Duo sat up, fishing in his pants pocket with some difficulty. Finally, he pulled out a little plastic container and clicked it open to reveal several small, clear strips lying inside. They could’ve been anything, maybe a packet of those little breath fresheners that melt on your tongue. They might have been completely harmless. This being Duo, however, I knew better.
“You’re high,” I muttered. “Of course.” Never mind that it was four in the afternoon, and most of us had midterms and papers to worry about, and that it was Wednesday.
“Acid, man,” he drawled, obviously very proud of himself. “Tab and a half. I am tripping balls.”
I turned back to my computer and attempted to focus on my work.
“I mean, this room is going green and red and your hair is-”
“Can you do this somewhere else?” I interrupted. I wasn’t in a very good mood, and my present company was sure to only make things worse. Duo Maxwell was definitely bad for my health.
“ - And your hair is, like, it’s... what? You writing a paper or somethin’?”
“Yes. I’m busy.” Go away.
“Heero.” He sounded very serious. “I can’t be alone right now. I know you’re like, Mr. Perfect I-Don’t-Even-Drink or whatever, but you gotta understand I have to have some company for this trip, or it’s gonna be rough.”
‘Mr. Perfect I-Don’t-Even-Drink?’ What did I ever do to this guy? I implored to someone, maybe God, whoever was responsible. We weren’t even friends. Why was he bothering me with his stoner bullshit?
“Why don’t you go spend time with Quatre instead.” His roommate seemed much more accommodating toward his brand of attention-seeking behavior than I could ever be.
Duo laughed. “Quatre is at class until five-thirty. Besides... Quatre’s not you.”
Despite all my resolve, Duo has a great way of surprising me into paying attention to him. I whirled around again at his last comment and found him watching me in quiet observation. For a moment he looked serious, then his mouth curled into a languid smile.
“Your eyes are like thirty million colors. And there’s a halo around your head.”
I sighed. Maybe a different approach would be effective. “Listen, Duo, I really have to write this paper. I can’t-” - I can’t babysit you, I wanted to say, but I was trying diplomacy- “I can’t give you my undivided attention right now.”
“Due tomorrow?”
“No, but-”
“- So ditch it, man. I’m asking you for a... huuuuge... favor here.” Duo’s eyes traced some unseen pattern on the blank ceiling. “I asked the drugs where I should go, and they told me I had to come here. Know what I mean?”
No, I didn’t have any idea what he was talking about. Was this one of those experiences that were only possible through living in a dorm? If so, I think they lied to me at orientation when they said these would be moments to cherish forever. “Duo, I-”
“Please, man. Look, Q-ball comes back in an hour and a half. Stay with me until then, and if I really bug you and you can’t stand me, I’ll go back to my room and hang with him.”
“An hour and a half?” I gave my word processor a long, mournful gaze. Short of picking Duo up and carrying him out, I couldn’t see any other way he’d agree to get lost. Sighing, I saved my work and closed my laptop.
“Fine.”
“Oh man, you’re an angel!” Duo cried. His eyes went wide. “No really, dude, you’re an angel. There are wings growing out of your back.”
“So what happens when you take LSD?” I ventured, though I suppose Duo’s behavior was plenty of indication already. In any case, I reasoned I could at least get some intellectual value out of this experience.
Duo smiled and leaned back on my bed. “It depends, Heeeero. It’s like, you open your consciousness and you let whatever is out there come and enlighten you. Sometimes, it’s like, scary or really confusing. Sometimes, it’s like total clarity.”
“You do this a lot?”
“Just a couple of times.” He shrugged. “Listen, Heero, I know you think that I’m a big druggie loser, but I think we could be friends if you gave it a shot.”
He noticed my smirk before I could hide it. “Woahhhh, I made you smile. I don’t know how, but that’s a start.”
“I just think it’s funny that you’re high on LSD in my room and complaining that I think you’re a big druggie loser.”
“Heeero, you’re really mean sometimes, you know?” He rolled onto his back and stared at me upside-down. “You really don’t drink, do you?”
I shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”
“You should loosen up a little. You’ll never get laid with that attitude, man.” His eyes danced around the room. “I think I had this conversation with you in a dream last night. Weird, huh? Maybe we have the power to manifest our dreams in reality.”
“Uh-huh,” I muttered, not exactly interested in the tangents of a stoner’s thought processes.
“Or maybe it’s just that I have so many dreams about you one or two of them are bound to come true,” he continued. “Anyway, guess I’ll never know.”
“Yeah, guess not... what?”
“Nothing, man.” He rolled over again and pulled some of the bedcovers along for the ride. “Look, like I was saying, we ought to introduce ourselves. Can’t be friends unless we do, right?”
“I really don’t-”
“I’m Duo Maxwell,” he continued, oblivious. He grinned widely. “I may run and hide but I never tell a lie. That’s me in a nutshell.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Whatever you want!” he replied, laughing at his own non-joke. “Your turn.”
“This is really-”
“Your turn, Heero Yuy!”
“Do I have to make up a stupid slogan too?”
“If you want. I can make one up for you, too. ‘My name is Heero Yuy and I have angel wings and a demon tail growing out of my back.’”
“You’re seeing some really bizarre hallucinations,” I noted.
“Yeah, I guess if I wasn’t so fucked up already they’d be really messing with my head right now.” My comforter was sliding off the sheets the way Duo was rolling around on my bed. I had the feeling the entire room would look like a hurricane after he was finished with it.
“Are you going to introduce yourself or am I going to do it for you?” He groused.
“I don’t care.”
“Okay then, here goes: Heero Yuy, age nineteen, likes computers and classical music-”
“I hate classical music,” I pointed out.
“Shut up, this is my introduction! Heero Yuy likes classical music, hates controlled substances, vegetables, blondes, brunettes, redheads... but he looooves Duo Maxwell.” Duo suddenly sat straight up, dilated eyes wide, as if he’d been imparted a great secret. “Ooh, Heero, you do?”
“Oh shut up, Duo. This is ridiculous.”
“Now you’re just being shy...”
“You’re so funny, Duo. I’m dying.”
“You know, I would’ve never pegged you for gay.”
“I’m not! What the hell is wrong with you?”
“What?” Duo grinned ear to ear, obviously enjoying my exasperation tremendously. “There’s no reason to be ashamed about confessing your love to me.”
He looked so serious that I thought he might have convinced himself, in his drug-addled stupor, that I actually had.
“Duo, I’m not in love with you.” I wanted to add ‘You’re actually really annoying’ but something stopped me- maybe more diplomacy? That plan was really starting to backfire. “I don’t even know you.”
“No problem!” He cried, and then he was off the bed and was leaning down over me, lightning fast. “If that’s all that’s standing in the way of our great love affair, I’ll gladly tell you all about myself.”
What the hell was he doing? I wondered. And once again, I implored whoever was responsible to tell me just what I had done to deserve this. Duo’s face was inches away, his glassy eyes surprisingly focused on mine. I was sure he was going to do something crazy, like kiss me. My palms on the armrests were clammy and my mouth was dry. Thank god I didn’t blush easily, at least. Duo’s eyes bored deeply into mine for a moment, then he was pulling me to my feet with unexpected strength.
“Come on, let’s go outside,” he said brightly, one arm slung over my shoulder. “I’ve still got a full hour of your time, anyway. Let’s see what four-thirty in the afternoon looks like.”
I grabbed my keys off the desk as Duo hustled me out of the room. Part of me was still wondering why I was going along with this. I guess the rest of me just wanted to see what Duo was going to do next.
He dragged us out of the dormitory and into the warm Fall afternoon. “Let’s go to the park,” he said in a conspiratorial whisper. “I wanna see the Washington Monument. Maybe the Lincoln Memorial too, if I remember.”
I had to steer him in the right direction to get to the park, as he immediately staggered off heading up twenty-first street and would’ve probably gone all the way to Dupont Circle without realizing. The park was a quick walk off-campus, probably a good thing since Duo felt the need to stop and say hello to every UPD officer we passed.
“Come on, I know a really great spot,” he said, pulling me into the park, past tourists and other students, his path meandering through bushes and trees. I was sure we were going to end up in the middle of nowhere with Duo forgetting where he was going halfway. I was pretty surprised when we actually arrived somewhere and not even by accident.
“Ta-da!” Duo exclaimed, spreading his arms wide. “I come here all the time. Not always high, either. Though it is good high. Better. Best.”
He’d found a little hideaway, protected by trees and surrounded on one side by a shallow reflecting pool. The area itself was littered with acorns and leaves and didn’t even have benches for us to sit on, but the view was spectacular. Before us, the Washington Monument rose magnificently skyward, reflected as a thin white shimmer across the dark water. Every so often, the movement of a passing duck would cause the image to swirl outwards and away, rippling across the surface of the pool before collecting itself again.
“I’m so glad we’re the only ones here today.” He turned to me, smiling widely. “Isn’t this place great?”
“Yeah,” I agreed. I really meant it, too. “It’s really beautiful.”
“I wanted to impress you,” he continued, giving me another look before flopping down on the grass. “Ohhh man, the visuals are amazing out here.”
I took a seat beside him, gazing out at the monument, a towering white monolith that stretched into the sky above us. The man-made lake was bordered by clean, cut grass and weeping willows that bent elegantly toward the water. Duo hummed some tuneless song to himself, his gaze fixed on the monument soaring above our heads.
“What does it look like?” I asked before I could stop myself.
“It looks like...” He paused a moment, considering. “It looks like a giant robot, with big metal wings and, like, a fucking sword-”
I smirked. “You’re out of your mind.”
He laughed. “Yeah, I’m just making all that shit up.” He curled his arms up under his head. “To be honest, it just looks like the Washington Monument, only the edges are kind of blurry.” He turned to me and smiled. “You don’t just start hallucinating shit with acid, you know.”
The grin he wore looked good, I decided suddenly. Flustered, I eagerly picked up the topic. “No, I don’t know. I thought you were hallucinating in my room when you said I had angel wings and a halo.”
“Well... what I meant was, the light from the laptop was all fuzzy and curling around your head, and it looked like a halo. And from there, well, the wings just seemed to fit.”
“You made it up?”
“Nah, more like, acid makes you more suggestible. Maybe I saw some blurry shit and I thought ‘hey, that looks like angel wings’, then it’s really easy to just imagine the shapes as wings.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, basically. I mean, you see lights and patterns and shit, too...”
“So I guess all that stuff about flashbacks and people ending up in mental hospitals-”
“Yeah, man, that’s stuff’s made up,” Duo laughed. “About the worse thing that’s ever happened to me is I said some pretty embarrassing shit about myself. And I cried on ‘shrooms but that happens to everyone.”
I didn’t quite believe him, but he seemed lucid enough, after all. Okay, more like he had moments of lucidity in a general haze of absurdity.
“Hey, Heeero.”
“If you say my name like that one more time, I’m going to throw you into the reflecting pool.”
“Sorry.” His smile faltered slightly. “Look, uh... I’m sorry for dragging you out here and interrupting your homework and shit.”
“You’re sorry now?” I asked, incredulous. “You seemed to have no problem doing it before.”
“Yeah, well...” He pulled his arm out from behind his head to brush his bangs out of his eyes. “I’m thinking about it now and I guess I was kind of a jerk.”
This was so unlike the Duo Maxwell I knew that I was sure it was drug-induced. Regardless, I shrugged and gave him the closest thing to a reassuring smile I could manage. “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad I came out here with you instead of staying inside.”
I realized, as I saw Duo’s face light up at my response, that I had really meant it. Quite a change of heart, I mused to myself. It seemed that Duo had a way of growing on you.
I turned away from Duo and back toward the Washington Monument, wondering just how much imagination it would take to see it as a winged robot. For several minutes, we sat silently together. Then, I felt a warmth, a smooth caress over my hand, and I realized belatedly that Duo had slid his hand over the back of mine. His fingers curled loosely into my palm and stayed there.
“You know, a guy could really fall for you,” he muttered, barely audible.
My throat was suddenly dry, my voice a whisper too. “What?”
“Nothing,” he said quickly. “Blame it on the drugs.” But he didn’t move his hand. And neither did I.
It was nearly an hour later that we finally decided it was time to go back. Duo announced that he was ‘coming down’ and would be ‘crashing’ soon. I deduced from this jargon that he was going to fall asleep, and I agreed it would probably be better if he passed out inside the dorm rather than the park. The walk home was quiet; Duo’s hand was back in his pocket and he made no attempt to reach for mine.
I swiped my card to unlock the dormitory door, letting Duo slip in before me. We reached my room before Duo’s, and as I turned to unlock my door, I saw Duo glance at me out of the corner of my eye before he started down the hallway to his own room.
“Duo,” I said, quickly, before I gave myself a chance to overthink my decision.
He turned, and though his focus wasn’t exactly back to normal, the hopeful look in his eyes was impossible to mistake.
“If... if you don’t mind the light from the laptop, you can crash in my room.”
“Heero...” He narrowed his eyes a little, making a show of sizing up my offer. “You know, I think I was right about you.”
“Right about what?” I narrowed my eyes in turn. To this, Duo just laughed.
“Nothing, man, nothing,” he replied, following me as I unlocked the door and stepped inside. Still a little unsteady on his feet, he collapsed onto my bed and rolled around, the sheets that had remained intact from his earlier escapade now sliding to the floor in defeat. Coverless, Duo nevertheless sunk quickly into contented sleep. His back to me, his braid curled out behind him. Duo might have been able to conjure angel wings and a halo for me with the help of the LSD, but all it took for me was a little imagination to picture that braid as a forked demon’s tail for Duo.
I booted up my laptop with a slight sigh and set around to finishing my paper, trying to focus my attention on my work and not on the strange, insane, intriguing devil behind me.
Somewhere, though, in the back of my mind, I had a fleeting, momentary thought that I quickly shooed out of my head before I let it settle: maybe next time I wouldn’t need the help of drugs to get Duo in my bed.
Ok, next, is the sequel:
Title: Strange Medicine
Pairing: 1x2
Rating: NC-17! Ooh lala!
Warnings: LEMON, Heero POV, AU, drugs again, language again
Strange Medicine
“Heero! Just the guy I wanted to see.”
I noticed all too late that the person sitting forlornly on my dorm’s front steps was Duo Maxwell. Duo Maxwell from the room down the hall, who had decided a couple of weeks ago that he’d wanted me to join him as he hallucinated all over the District of Columbia. The same Duo Maxwell who had decided we were best friends ever since, just because I had let him sleep in my room until the LSD permeated out of his system.
Now, I will freely admit that part of this was my own doing. I could have kicked him out of my room and locked the door instead of humoring every whim that popped into his drug-addled brain. I could have declined to accompany him on his one-man magical mystery tour.
And I seemed to remember we had held hands at some point. That, too.
To be honest, I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt about Duo. Everything about him-- his frequently inebriated state, his unpredictable conversation-- should have made me dislike him. I didn’t make a habit out of fraternizing with potheads.
Yet, instead of walking right by him and into the building, I stopped to talk.
“Why are you sitting out here?”
“Well, Heero, it’s kind of a long story,” he said, grinning up at me. His eyes looked heavy and bloodshot. And he was squinting, even though it was the middle of the night.
I realized that I had seen this before.
“You’re high,” I muttered. “That’s not a long story at all.”
Duo laughed and picked himself up in a stretch, his jacket riding up a little, exposing the skin of his stomach to the cold November air. I found a very interesting place on the sidewalk to stare at.
“Okay, so it’s not. I went down to the Lincoln Memorial to smoke up and forgot my key in my room. The end. Open the door for me?”
“You forgot your key and your key card?”
He stared at me with a cocky smile.
“No, Heero, I’m out here in the cold for my health.”
He shrugged.
“I get forgetful when I’m hi--when I’ve been partaking.”
“It’s Tuesday night.”
Duo shrugged.
“Weed helps me sleep. And you’re back just as late yourself. What’s your excuse?”
I sighed and pulled out my card.
“I was studying in the library.”
“Big test tomorrow?”
“No. It’s on the twenty-third.”
I waved the card over the sensor and the lock turned from red to green on the door. Duo followed me inside, his laughter trailing behind.
“That’s, like, two and a half weeks away, dude.”
“I want to be prepared.”
Our rooms were directly down the first floor hallway. I stopped at my door and fished around for my key. Duo kept talking even as he continued walking past me.
“Oh yeah, of course, gotta get all that practice studying in before the real studying begins, right? A Mensa member like you probably doesn’t need to study anyway.”
Duo seemed to find it a source of endless amusement that I took college seriously. Rather than engage him in his sadistic sense of humor, I usually elected to ignore him, not that it appeared to have much of the intended effect of shutting him up. Probably nothing, short of a lobotomy, would have that effect on Duo Maxwell.
Suppressing the comment I wanted to shoot back, I unlocked my door and grabbed the handle to open it. For some reason, though, I paused and watched Duo reach his room and knock on the locked door.
“Quatre! Open up!”
When no response immediately came, he tried jiggling the handle, also to no avail.
“Anyone home? Hey! Q-ball!”
‘Q-ball’? If I was Quatre, I wouldn’t have opened up either.
“I don’t think he’s there,” I said finally, concerned that, with the noise he was making, everyone in the damn building would be fully informed of Duo’s predicament.
Duo looked up, apparently surprised to see I was still there.
“Shit,” he muttered, and for a moment, he seemed actually defeated.
Then, something flashed across his dazed expression. He was getting an idea, which never ended well for me.
“Hey, Heero...”
Why couldn’t I have just gone inside when I’d had the chance?
“Can I hang out in your room? I’ll give Quatre a call later and try to get back in my room, but in the meantime, it’s you or the hallway. I mean, the hallway doesn’t call me an idiot or make that face-- that face right there-- but I’d still rather go with you.”
I sighed, pointedly.
“I need to go to sleep, Duo.”
“Don’t worry, man! You won’t even know I’m there.”
I highly doubted that would be the case. Still, I swung my door open and looked inside. My roommate’s bed laid empty and unmade.
“Trowa isn’t here,” I said. I couldn’t decide if I was grateful or not that Duo and I would be left alone.
Wait, I was inviting him in, wasn’t I? What was wrong with me? It was a quarter after twelve on a damn Tuesday night!
“Perfect!” Duo said, already bounding through the open door.
Not bothering to switch on the overhead light, he pulled his jacket and shoes off and deposited them, already forgotten, on the floor as he climbed right into my bed, pulling the covers up over his head until only his braid was visible, dangling over the side.
“What are you doing?” I stammered. I was fairly certain that this wasn’t what people meant when they used the term ‘hang out’.
“You said you had to go to sleep,” came the answer from under my sheets. “So I thought that’s what we were doing.”
“If you want to sleep, why don’t you use Trowa’s bed?”
“Trowa hasn’t given me permission to use his bed,” Duo replied.
“I haven’t given you permission to use my bed, either.”
There was a theatrical sigh from beneath the covers.
“Just close the damn door and get in here already, Heero.”
I felt a perplexing lurch in my chest at those words. The memory of lying beside Duo on the grass by the Lincoln Memorial, his hand suddenly coming up to grasp mine, came unbidden back to me. I hadn’t initiated the touch... but I hadn’t pulled away either.
It wasn’t like I couldn’t stay up a little longer, sit on the computer, wait it out until Duo was gone. Or even borrow Trowa’s bed myself and explain later if he had a problem with it. I hadn’t told Duo he could come in. I could kick him out into the hall and get some peace and quiet. Hell, the look of surprise on his face when I didn’t do what he wanted, for once, might make it worth it alone.
Instead, I gently shut the door behind me, the last sliver of fluorescent light from the hallway shrinking away until we were flushed into darkness. I let habit guide me across the room to my bed, where I sat on the corner, farthest from the Duo-shaped mass under the sheets, to remove my shoes and tuck them under the frame, then my jacket, neatly hanging it on the bedpost.
Then, clothes and all, I slid stiffly into bed beside him.
“Huh,” came the muffled voice, “I thought I’d get more of an argument out of you than that.”
The bedspreads shifted beside me, and I couldn’t say I was surprised when I felt Duo’s warm, slim arm snake around my waist. One hand heavily balanced on my chest, he lifted himself up on his elbows to look at me. I found myself inches away from him, his red-rimmed eyes gazing disarmingly into mine.
For a few eternal moments, we seemed to hover on the edge of something profound.
I didn’t know what to do, so I said something.
“What do you want to do now?”
Oral communication is, needless to say, not my strong suit.
Duo peered down at me through those overgrown bangs and smirked at the abject stupidity of my statement.
“Oh, I don’t know, Heero,” he said, “I was thinking maybe you could help me with my homework. A little late-night study session. Maybe we could pull our graphing calculators out right here in your bed and get to it.”
I opened my mouth to say something back, but Duo covered it with his own before I had the chance. And just like that, I had my first kiss with the last person anyone, including me, would have ever expected.
Entirely new sensations drowned me-- the feeling of his hot breath against my jaw, the soft, wet warmth of his eternally grinning mouth, the prickling energy that thrummed through my body at his proximity. He slipped his tongue in between my slack lips and goaded me into participating. I heard a strange, breathy sound and realized with embarrassment that it had come from me.
Duo shifted over me, maneuvering my hands to hold his hips. He snaked a leg in between mine. I drifted my palms over the rough material of his jeans, wondering where it might be okay to touch, wondering what Duo was expecting me to do. Wondering if I wanted this, if I wanted Duo, the loudmouth with the drug problem, with the never-ending litany of jokes at my expense. With the long hair and the Tuesday night death metal marathons blasting out of his room at 180 decibels. With the stupid nicknames for his roommate.
And with the eyes that shifted incessantly from blue to purple, fickle as the person attached to them. With the smirking mouth nipping and biting and sucking at my neck, the soft tongue darting out to wet my lips. With the quiet breaths warming along my skin and the maddening rhythm of his leg between mine. With the whispers of my name that made it sound like something more, with the way he had of disarming me so quickly and effortlessly.
He’d known I’d wanted him before I had, somehow. He’d seduced me right into my own bed.
I let my hands trail up his waist, beneath the hem of his faded cotton shirt. His skin was so soft, burning hot under my fingers. I had never touched another person like this before; I didn’t know it would feel so warm. I could feel muscles tensing and shifting as I palmed his body. I ran my hand slowly up the center of his back, over his spine, and he inhaled sharply and ground his crotch against my thigh, bending down again to press his mouth hard to mine. His hand snaked between my legs and began to rub rhythmically, almost hard enough to hurt, certainly hard enough to get the reaction he was looking for. When he felt me respond beneath his palm, he pulled back from my mouth to grin down at me, bright teeth flashing in the dark.
“This would be more fun if your pants were off.”
He ran a finger up the length of the zipper to reiterate.
I surprised myself with the speed with which I had my jeans off and thrown somewhere behind the bed. Duo snaked a hand into the elastic waistband of my underwear and suddenly his warm, rough hand was flush against me.
“That’s more like it,” he chuckled, and then his mouth stole mine again.
I groped him blindly, palming his chest, his abdomen, his skin incredibly warm and delicate under my touch. I found the button on his pants and worked it open, then the zipper, and I slipped both hands inside to trace the contours of his hip bones, the round planes of his ass. I felt a strange, animal feeling welling inside me, a desire both wholly new and instinctively familiar. I wanted to possess him, take him, claim him. More urgently, I wanted him naked immediately.
And it seemed Duo could tell, because he reared back and pulled his shirt over his head, chucking it in the direction of my desk. It was a testament to how lost I was in him that I didn’t even think to check to see if he had hit my computer with it. To think I would finally find something more important to me than that machine.
Duo was all lean muscle and taut skin and captivating angles. I found myself staring at the junction of his hips and stomach, exposed from my earlier fumble with his pants, my hand involuntarily reaching out to ghost fingers along the shallow dip that curved along the outline of his hip bone.
He was dangerously attractive, alarmingly so. What the hell did he want with me?
Even as he reached with one hand to pull the rest of his clothes off, he was leaning down over me again, taking my lips, pressing a fierce kiss at the corner of my mouth, tugging at my shirt. I broke away long enough to pull it over my head and his free hand grabbed my jaw to guide my mouth back against his.
I really couldn’t believe kissing actually felt like this, so tactile, so physically overwhelming. I could feel every nerve ending respond to the burning slide of Duo’s tongue into my mouth, could feel the blood rush to my lips when Duo sucked one between his teeth and bit gently down. I suddenly understood why people made such a big deal out of this. It was a big deal. He was driving me crazy.
And suddenly it was more; suddenly we were naked in my bed and it was instantly apparent what we were about to do. In a flash, Duo had broken away from my mouth to slide his lips down my chest, hands roughly following, and then he was dipping below my navel and taking me in his mouth, infuriatingly nonchalant, and I had to bite back the shout that threatened to erupt from me at the incredible sensation, the overwhelming friction of his tongue, the wet heat, the pounding in my chest at the way he was looking at me from between my legs. Jesus Christ, what was he doing to me?
I felt like I was seconds away from coming when he suddenly pulled back and crawled back up to me, breath heavy in my ear.
“Leave this to me,” he whispered.
I had no idea what he could mean. I stared stupidly up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of his words, until he pulled back to straddle my lap, reaching behind him and gripping me gently in one hand. He gave me a lopsided grin, shaking his bangs out of his eyes, and suddenly he was positioning me against him and then he was sliding himself slowly over me, pushing me into him.
God, we were really doing it. Well, he was doing it to me. I couldn’t do anything except watch the expression on Duo’s face subtly change as he lowered himself onto me. He bit his bottom lip, his thin brows furrowed with exertion, and I had the sudden urge to reach for him, pull him to me, but I didn’t want to break his concentration. I didn’t want to do anything that would make him stop what he was doing, because the feel of him sliding over me felt better than anything I could ever remember. This was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me. Duo was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me.
Slowly, he settled down onto my hips, and just like that, I was fully inside him. His expression relaxed into a comfortable smile, and all I could think was: this is it, I’m not a virgin anymore. Duo has taken my virginity. And damn, he looks so good like this.
And he did, he looked amazing. Even bloodshot eyes looked good on him. I must have been making some face as I stared up at him, because he chuckled low in his throat and leaned down over me, putting his mouth against my ear.
“You know, this is what I wanted from you all along,” he whispered. My heart twisted in my chest. I told myself it was the shiver of his breath in my ear that did it.
“Duo...”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, grinning, pulling back up, away from me, spreading his palms out along my chest. “Don’t worry, I said I got this.”
He began to rise up, pulling me out of him, and then slid back down, and I groaned at the friction, helpless to it. Again, and he seemed to find a sort of rhythm, working me in and out, and mindlessly, I found myself gripping his hips, watching him move above me, his chest glistening with sweat, flushed pink, his skin burning hot under my hands. I would never have guessed it would feel like this, so tight and warm, enveloping me, fitting me so perfectly, that something so simple could shatter my control.
Above me, Duo’s lips parted, his breath short. His violet eyes slid open, catching me in their stare.
“Mm, Heero,” he groaned, and I suddenly realized I wasn’t going to last very long at all. The sounds Duo was making, the sheen of sweat on his chest were going to make me lose control.
I tried thinking of the code problems I had been studying in the library before... before I had run into Duo on the steps. But that seemed like a thousand years ago, when I was still obsessing over a little hand-holding in the park. Codes... midterms... it was useless. I couldn’t concentrate on a damn thing other than Duo.
“Duo...” I whispered, a warning.
“Here,” he groaned, “touch me.”
He wrapped my hand around his hard, burning cock, his eyes sliding shut as I began to touch it. I was embarrassingly inept, clumsy with the distraction of his body throbbing around me, with the newness of it all. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. Duo was never going to talk to me again after this.
But then he moaned, and leaned down to kiss me. I must not have been doing quite as badly as I thought.
“I’m going to come,” he said, his voice hoarse and deep.
“Me, too,” I stammered.
He chuckled, then reared back, finding a steady, maddening rhythm above me. I tried to move my hand in time with his body, tried to hold on for as long as I could, but it was too much. I felt orgasm building in me, more intense than I’d ever felt it before. There was no comparison between touching myself half-heartedly in the dorm shower and having Duo Maxwell tease the climax out of me with his soft mouth, his warm body. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be satisfied with anything less than the real thing ever again.
I grabbed for him with my free hand, digging my fingers into the muscle of his thigh, holding on for dear life, and then I was lost to the sensation, biting back a shout as I pumped deeply into him, unable to even form the syllables to say his name. He curled a hand tight around the one I had on his cock, groaning, and then hot liquid spilled over my fingers, and even through the haze of orgasm I felt a strange sense of accomplishment. Maybe he would talk to me again after all.
I felt him slip off of me, his body weight leaving my hips. I felt suddenly chilly in the night air of the room, naked and damp.
“Do you want to clean up?” he asked, a little breathless. “We’re kind of a mess.”
I was barely cognizant enough to understand what he was asking.
“Uh...”
He laughed.
“You know what? Don’t worry about it. Here.”
He handed me something hanging off the side of the bed. A towel, my towel.
My last clean one at that.
Oh, fuck it. I grabbed it and wiped myself down a little, until I didn’t feel quite so, well, sticky. I handed it to him and collapsed back onto the bed, a thousand half-formed thoughts flying through my head.
Duo threw the towel somewhere, I could hear it land over in the vicinity of the closet. Then, he crawled back up the bed, curling up next to me and throwing his arm across my chest. I stared at the ceiling, feeling him breathe against me, wondering if I could touch him now that we had just had sex. Could I hold his hand again? I felt ridiculous for not knowing if I could.
“Do you have to go back to your room?” I said, remembering the circumstances that had somehow, improbably, brought us to this moment. Or maybe not so improbably. After all, Duo had said he had wanted this from me all along.
Immediately I realized I had said something wrong. It was like the warmth had been sucked right out of Duo, leaving a strange, awkward hush in the room. Shit. I had fucked it up, somehow.
He coughed, and shifted away from me, moving to get off the bed.
“Yeah, I guess I should,” he said quietly.
My hand shot out and reached for him, closing around his wrist.
“Wait-- I mean, I... don’t mind if you stay here.”
He peered at me under his messy bangs, a strange expression on his face.
“Heero Yuy, you must be majoring in mixed signals,” he muttered, but crawled back into my bed all the same, his back to me. After a few minutes, he reached behind him to grab my hands and pull them around to his waist, interlocking our fingers.
“Sorry,” I whispered. “I’m not very good at this.”
He chuckled and grazed his lips along the knuckles of my hand.
“It’s okay. I like you that way.”
And that was it, I supposed. He liked me the way I was, though I might never understand the reason why. And for all our differences, all the things that should have made me dislike him, I only liked him all the more. I did, didn’t I? I was crazy about him.
Maybe I should tell him, I thought.
“Duo?”
He yawned, answering in a voice that was barely audible and heavy with sleep.
“Yeah?”
But I couldn’t find the words, not over the sudden pounding in my chest.
“Good night,” I said instead.
He didn’t answer, already unconscious.
It was all right, I told myself. There had been enough revelations for one night already. He wouldn’t be mad if I waited a little bit longer, until I was a little more sure. Right? He liked me the way I was. He said so himself.
I let that thought circle around my head, until it calmed my disparate thoughts, and brought me to sleep.
Anyway, I just wrote a fic that is a sequel to another fic that I JUST REALIZED IS NOT ON MY LJ AT ALL. OK So now I am posting two new fics! (well, one is new-ish, and the other is actually new.) I'm just going to post them together because they kind of need to be read together, anyway. Ok yes.
There is at least one or two more fics in this universe I really want to write, because I really enjoy stoner Duo and awkward, snarky Heero POV.
OK Up first:
Title: Transcendental Meditation
Pairing: 1+2+1
Rating: PG for mention of drugs and language
Warnings/notes: drugs, language, Heero POV, AU
Transcendental Meditation
Duo Maxwell from the room down the hall staggered through my door like it was the most natural thing in the world. No matter that the door had been closed, no matter that I hadn’t invited him over. Duo Maxwell only plays by rules he has decided on for himself.
He had the kind of grin on his face that warned of trouble to come. Initially, he didn’t say a word to me, just strolled right in and made himself comfortable on my bed, kicking his long legs out in front of him. His braid, ever the accomplice, spilled out across the pillow behind him. There he was, silent (for once) and lying on my bed without permission and nevertheless looking like he had every right to be doing just that.
What are you doing in my room? I wanted to say. Can’t you see I’m writing a paper? But I stopped myself. All Duo wanted was for me to pay attention to him. Therefore, if I ignored him, I reasoned, he would undoubtedly get bored and leave me be. This had worked pretty well in the past. I didn’t know much about Duo Maxwell, other than that he was a sophomore from Pennsylvania and he liked to blast terrible thrash metal at three in the morning on week nights, but I did know he had the attention span of a third grader (and the same maturity level). I figured this distraction would last only a couple of minutes if I simply let him be.
I turned my back to Duo and placed my fingers once again over the laptop keys. There was a rustle of movement from my bed, then a long, dramatic sigh.
“Heeeeerrrroooo.”
What the hell? I spun around to stare at him. All he’d said was my name, but the enunciation was so bizarre that for a moment I thought he was having a seizure or something.
Duo gazed at me, his eyes large and so dilated they were like black pools rimmed in purple. He laughed, his fingers picking absently at the fading decal on his shirt. He looked completely, utterly out of it.
“What the hell?” I blurted, despite my resolve to ignore Duo entirely. “Are you on something?”
In response, Duo sat up, fishing in his pants pocket with some difficulty. Finally, he pulled out a little plastic container and clicked it open to reveal several small, clear strips lying inside. They could’ve been anything, maybe a packet of those little breath fresheners that melt on your tongue. They might have been completely harmless. This being Duo, however, I knew better.
“You’re high,” I muttered. “Of course.” Never mind that it was four in the afternoon, and most of us had midterms and papers to worry about, and that it was Wednesday.
“Acid, man,” he drawled, obviously very proud of himself. “Tab and a half. I am tripping balls.”
I turned back to my computer and attempted to focus on my work.
“I mean, this room is going green and red and your hair is-”
“Can you do this somewhere else?” I interrupted. I wasn’t in a very good mood, and my present company was sure to only make things worse. Duo Maxwell was definitely bad for my health.
“ - And your hair is, like, it’s... what? You writing a paper or somethin’?”
“Yes. I’m busy.” Go away.
“Heero.” He sounded very serious. “I can’t be alone right now. I know you’re like, Mr. Perfect I-Don’t-Even-Drink or whatever, but you gotta understand I have to have some company for this trip, or it’s gonna be rough.”
‘Mr. Perfect I-Don’t-Even-Drink?’ What did I ever do to this guy? I implored to someone, maybe God, whoever was responsible. We weren’t even friends. Why was he bothering me with his stoner bullshit?
“Why don’t you go spend time with Quatre instead.” His roommate seemed much more accommodating toward his brand of attention-seeking behavior than I could ever be.
Duo laughed. “Quatre is at class until five-thirty. Besides... Quatre’s not you.”
Despite all my resolve, Duo has a great way of surprising me into paying attention to him. I whirled around again at his last comment and found him watching me in quiet observation. For a moment he looked serious, then his mouth curled into a languid smile.
“Your eyes are like thirty million colors. And there’s a halo around your head.”
I sighed. Maybe a different approach would be effective. “Listen, Duo, I really have to write this paper. I can’t-” - I can’t babysit you, I wanted to say, but I was trying diplomacy- “I can’t give you my undivided attention right now.”
“Due tomorrow?”
“No, but-”
“- So ditch it, man. I’m asking you for a... huuuuge... favor here.” Duo’s eyes traced some unseen pattern on the blank ceiling. “I asked the drugs where I should go, and they told me I had to come here. Know what I mean?”
No, I didn’t have any idea what he was talking about. Was this one of those experiences that were only possible through living in a dorm? If so, I think they lied to me at orientation when they said these would be moments to cherish forever. “Duo, I-”
“Please, man. Look, Q-ball comes back in an hour and a half. Stay with me until then, and if I really bug you and you can’t stand me, I’ll go back to my room and hang with him.”
“An hour and a half?” I gave my word processor a long, mournful gaze. Short of picking Duo up and carrying him out, I couldn’t see any other way he’d agree to get lost. Sighing, I saved my work and closed my laptop.
“Fine.”
“Oh man, you’re an angel!” Duo cried. His eyes went wide. “No really, dude, you’re an angel. There are wings growing out of your back.”
“So what happens when you take LSD?” I ventured, though I suppose Duo’s behavior was plenty of indication already. In any case, I reasoned I could at least get some intellectual value out of this experience.
Duo smiled and leaned back on my bed. “It depends, Heeeero. It’s like, you open your consciousness and you let whatever is out there come and enlighten you. Sometimes, it’s like, scary or really confusing. Sometimes, it’s like total clarity.”
“You do this a lot?”
“Just a couple of times.” He shrugged. “Listen, Heero, I know you think that I’m a big druggie loser, but I think we could be friends if you gave it a shot.”
He noticed my smirk before I could hide it. “Woahhhh, I made you smile. I don’t know how, but that’s a start.”
“I just think it’s funny that you’re high on LSD in my room and complaining that I think you’re a big druggie loser.”
“Heeero, you’re really mean sometimes, you know?” He rolled onto his back and stared at me upside-down. “You really don’t drink, do you?”
I shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”
“You should loosen up a little. You’ll never get laid with that attitude, man.” His eyes danced around the room. “I think I had this conversation with you in a dream last night. Weird, huh? Maybe we have the power to manifest our dreams in reality.”
“Uh-huh,” I muttered, not exactly interested in the tangents of a stoner’s thought processes.
“Or maybe it’s just that I have so many dreams about you one or two of them are bound to come true,” he continued. “Anyway, guess I’ll never know.”
“Yeah, guess not... what?”
“Nothing, man.” He rolled over again and pulled some of the bedcovers along for the ride. “Look, like I was saying, we ought to introduce ourselves. Can’t be friends unless we do, right?”
“I really don’t-”
“I’m Duo Maxwell,” he continued, oblivious. He grinned widely. “I may run and hide but I never tell a lie. That’s me in a nutshell.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Whatever you want!” he replied, laughing at his own non-joke. “Your turn.”
“This is really-”
“Your turn, Heero Yuy!”
“Do I have to make up a stupid slogan too?”
“If you want. I can make one up for you, too. ‘My name is Heero Yuy and I have angel wings and a demon tail growing out of my back.’”
“You’re seeing some really bizarre hallucinations,” I noted.
“Yeah, I guess if I wasn’t so fucked up already they’d be really messing with my head right now.” My comforter was sliding off the sheets the way Duo was rolling around on my bed. I had the feeling the entire room would look like a hurricane after he was finished with it.
“Are you going to introduce yourself or am I going to do it for you?” He groused.
“I don’t care.”
“Okay then, here goes: Heero Yuy, age nineteen, likes computers and classical music-”
“I hate classical music,” I pointed out.
“Shut up, this is my introduction! Heero Yuy likes classical music, hates controlled substances, vegetables, blondes, brunettes, redheads... but he looooves Duo Maxwell.” Duo suddenly sat straight up, dilated eyes wide, as if he’d been imparted a great secret. “Ooh, Heero, you do?”
“Oh shut up, Duo. This is ridiculous.”
“Now you’re just being shy...”
“You’re so funny, Duo. I’m dying.”
“You know, I would’ve never pegged you for gay.”
“I’m not! What the hell is wrong with you?”
“What?” Duo grinned ear to ear, obviously enjoying my exasperation tremendously. “There’s no reason to be ashamed about confessing your love to me.”
He looked so serious that I thought he might have convinced himself, in his drug-addled stupor, that I actually had.
“Duo, I’m not in love with you.” I wanted to add ‘You’re actually really annoying’ but something stopped me- maybe more diplomacy? That plan was really starting to backfire. “I don’t even know you.”
“No problem!” He cried, and then he was off the bed and was leaning down over me, lightning fast. “If that’s all that’s standing in the way of our great love affair, I’ll gladly tell you all about myself.”
What the hell was he doing? I wondered. And once again, I implored whoever was responsible to tell me just what I had done to deserve this. Duo’s face was inches away, his glassy eyes surprisingly focused on mine. I was sure he was going to do something crazy, like kiss me. My palms on the armrests were clammy and my mouth was dry. Thank god I didn’t blush easily, at least. Duo’s eyes bored deeply into mine for a moment, then he was pulling me to my feet with unexpected strength.
“Come on, let’s go outside,” he said brightly, one arm slung over my shoulder. “I’ve still got a full hour of your time, anyway. Let’s see what four-thirty in the afternoon looks like.”
I grabbed my keys off the desk as Duo hustled me out of the room. Part of me was still wondering why I was going along with this. I guess the rest of me just wanted to see what Duo was going to do next.
He dragged us out of the dormitory and into the warm Fall afternoon. “Let’s go to the park,” he said in a conspiratorial whisper. “I wanna see the Washington Monument. Maybe the Lincoln Memorial too, if I remember.”
I had to steer him in the right direction to get to the park, as he immediately staggered off heading up twenty-first street and would’ve probably gone all the way to Dupont Circle without realizing. The park was a quick walk off-campus, probably a good thing since Duo felt the need to stop and say hello to every UPD officer we passed.
“Come on, I know a really great spot,” he said, pulling me into the park, past tourists and other students, his path meandering through bushes and trees. I was sure we were going to end up in the middle of nowhere with Duo forgetting where he was going halfway. I was pretty surprised when we actually arrived somewhere and not even by accident.
“Ta-da!” Duo exclaimed, spreading his arms wide. “I come here all the time. Not always high, either. Though it is good high. Better. Best.”
He’d found a little hideaway, protected by trees and surrounded on one side by a shallow reflecting pool. The area itself was littered with acorns and leaves and didn’t even have benches for us to sit on, but the view was spectacular. Before us, the Washington Monument rose magnificently skyward, reflected as a thin white shimmer across the dark water. Every so often, the movement of a passing duck would cause the image to swirl outwards and away, rippling across the surface of the pool before collecting itself again.
“I’m so glad we’re the only ones here today.” He turned to me, smiling widely. “Isn’t this place great?”
“Yeah,” I agreed. I really meant it, too. “It’s really beautiful.”
“I wanted to impress you,” he continued, giving me another look before flopping down on the grass. “Ohhh man, the visuals are amazing out here.”
I took a seat beside him, gazing out at the monument, a towering white monolith that stretched into the sky above us. The man-made lake was bordered by clean, cut grass and weeping willows that bent elegantly toward the water. Duo hummed some tuneless song to himself, his gaze fixed on the monument soaring above our heads.
“What does it look like?” I asked before I could stop myself.
“It looks like...” He paused a moment, considering. “It looks like a giant robot, with big metal wings and, like, a fucking sword-”
I smirked. “You’re out of your mind.”
He laughed. “Yeah, I’m just making all that shit up.” He curled his arms up under his head. “To be honest, it just looks like the Washington Monument, only the edges are kind of blurry.” He turned to me and smiled. “You don’t just start hallucinating shit with acid, you know.”
The grin he wore looked good, I decided suddenly. Flustered, I eagerly picked up the topic. “No, I don’t know. I thought you were hallucinating in my room when you said I had angel wings and a halo.”
“Well... what I meant was, the light from the laptop was all fuzzy and curling around your head, and it looked like a halo. And from there, well, the wings just seemed to fit.”
“You made it up?”
“Nah, more like, acid makes you more suggestible. Maybe I saw some blurry shit and I thought ‘hey, that looks like angel wings’, then it’s really easy to just imagine the shapes as wings.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, basically. I mean, you see lights and patterns and shit, too...”
“So I guess all that stuff about flashbacks and people ending up in mental hospitals-”
“Yeah, man, that’s stuff’s made up,” Duo laughed. “About the worse thing that’s ever happened to me is I said some pretty embarrassing shit about myself. And I cried on ‘shrooms but that happens to everyone.”
I didn’t quite believe him, but he seemed lucid enough, after all. Okay, more like he had moments of lucidity in a general haze of absurdity.
“Hey, Heeero.”
“If you say my name like that one more time, I’m going to throw you into the reflecting pool.”
“Sorry.” His smile faltered slightly. “Look, uh... I’m sorry for dragging you out here and interrupting your homework and shit.”
“You’re sorry now?” I asked, incredulous. “You seemed to have no problem doing it before.”
“Yeah, well...” He pulled his arm out from behind his head to brush his bangs out of his eyes. “I’m thinking about it now and I guess I was kind of a jerk.”
This was so unlike the Duo Maxwell I knew that I was sure it was drug-induced. Regardless, I shrugged and gave him the closest thing to a reassuring smile I could manage. “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad I came out here with you instead of staying inside.”
I realized, as I saw Duo’s face light up at my response, that I had really meant it. Quite a change of heart, I mused to myself. It seemed that Duo had a way of growing on you.
I turned away from Duo and back toward the Washington Monument, wondering just how much imagination it would take to see it as a winged robot. For several minutes, we sat silently together. Then, I felt a warmth, a smooth caress over my hand, and I realized belatedly that Duo had slid his hand over the back of mine. His fingers curled loosely into my palm and stayed there.
“You know, a guy could really fall for you,” he muttered, barely audible.
My throat was suddenly dry, my voice a whisper too. “What?”
“Nothing,” he said quickly. “Blame it on the drugs.” But he didn’t move his hand. And neither did I.
It was nearly an hour later that we finally decided it was time to go back. Duo announced that he was ‘coming down’ and would be ‘crashing’ soon. I deduced from this jargon that he was going to fall asleep, and I agreed it would probably be better if he passed out inside the dorm rather than the park. The walk home was quiet; Duo’s hand was back in his pocket and he made no attempt to reach for mine.
I swiped my card to unlock the dormitory door, letting Duo slip in before me. We reached my room before Duo’s, and as I turned to unlock my door, I saw Duo glance at me out of the corner of my eye before he started down the hallway to his own room.
“Duo,” I said, quickly, before I gave myself a chance to overthink my decision.
He turned, and though his focus wasn’t exactly back to normal, the hopeful look in his eyes was impossible to mistake.
“If... if you don’t mind the light from the laptop, you can crash in my room.”
“Heero...” He narrowed his eyes a little, making a show of sizing up my offer. “You know, I think I was right about you.”
“Right about what?” I narrowed my eyes in turn. To this, Duo just laughed.
“Nothing, man, nothing,” he replied, following me as I unlocked the door and stepped inside. Still a little unsteady on his feet, he collapsed onto my bed and rolled around, the sheets that had remained intact from his earlier escapade now sliding to the floor in defeat. Coverless, Duo nevertheless sunk quickly into contented sleep. His back to me, his braid curled out behind him. Duo might have been able to conjure angel wings and a halo for me with the help of the LSD, but all it took for me was a little imagination to picture that braid as a forked demon’s tail for Duo.
I booted up my laptop with a slight sigh and set around to finishing my paper, trying to focus my attention on my work and not on the strange, insane, intriguing devil behind me.
Somewhere, though, in the back of my mind, I had a fleeting, momentary thought that I quickly shooed out of my head before I let it settle: maybe next time I wouldn’t need the help of drugs to get Duo in my bed.
Ok, next, is the sequel:
Title: Strange Medicine
Pairing: 1x2
Rating: NC-17! Ooh lala!
Warnings: LEMON, Heero POV, AU, drugs again, language again
Strange Medicine
“Heero! Just the guy I wanted to see.”
I noticed all too late that the person sitting forlornly on my dorm’s front steps was Duo Maxwell. Duo Maxwell from the room down the hall, who had decided a couple of weeks ago that he’d wanted me to join him as he hallucinated all over the District of Columbia. The same Duo Maxwell who had decided we were best friends ever since, just because I had let him sleep in my room until the LSD permeated out of his system.
Now, I will freely admit that part of this was my own doing. I could have kicked him out of my room and locked the door instead of humoring every whim that popped into his drug-addled brain. I could have declined to accompany him on his one-man magical mystery tour.
And I seemed to remember we had held hands at some point. That, too.
To be honest, I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt about Duo. Everything about him-- his frequently inebriated state, his unpredictable conversation-- should have made me dislike him. I didn’t make a habit out of fraternizing with potheads.
Yet, instead of walking right by him and into the building, I stopped to talk.
“Why are you sitting out here?”
“Well, Heero, it’s kind of a long story,” he said, grinning up at me. His eyes looked heavy and bloodshot. And he was squinting, even though it was the middle of the night.
I realized that I had seen this before.
“You’re high,” I muttered. “That’s not a long story at all.”
Duo laughed and picked himself up in a stretch, his jacket riding up a little, exposing the skin of his stomach to the cold November air. I found a very interesting place on the sidewalk to stare at.
“Okay, so it’s not. I went down to the Lincoln Memorial to smoke up and forgot my key in my room. The end. Open the door for me?”
“You forgot your key and your key card?”
He stared at me with a cocky smile.
“No, Heero, I’m out here in the cold for my health.”
He shrugged.
“I get forgetful when I’m hi--when I’ve been partaking.”
“It’s Tuesday night.”
Duo shrugged.
“Weed helps me sleep. And you’re back just as late yourself. What’s your excuse?”
I sighed and pulled out my card.
“I was studying in the library.”
“Big test tomorrow?”
“No. It’s on the twenty-third.”
I waved the card over the sensor and the lock turned from red to green on the door. Duo followed me inside, his laughter trailing behind.
“That’s, like, two and a half weeks away, dude.”
“I want to be prepared.”
Our rooms were directly down the first floor hallway. I stopped at my door and fished around for my key. Duo kept talking even as he continued walking past me.
“Oh yeah, of course, gotta get all that practice studying in before the real studying begins, right? A Mensa member like you probably doesn’t need to study anyway.”
Duo seemed to find it a source of endless amusement that I took college seriously. Rather than engage him in his sadistic sense of humor, I usually elected to ignore him, not that it appeared to have much of the intended effect of shutting him up. Probably nothing, short of a lobotomy, would have that effect on Duo Maxwell.
Suppressing the comment I wanted to shoot back, I unlocked my door and grabbed the handle to open it. For some reason, though, I paused and watched Duo reach his room and knock on the locked door.
“Quatre! Open up!”
When no response immediately came, he tried jiggling the handle, also to no avail.
“Anyone home? Hey! Q-ball!”
‘Q-ball’? If I was Quatre, I wouldn’t have opened up either.
“I don’t think he’s there,” I said finally, concerned that, with the noise he was making, everyone in the damn building would be fully informed of Duo’s predicament.
Duo looked up, apparently surprised to see I was still there.
“Shit,” he muttered, and for a moment, he seemed actually defeated.
Then, something flashed across his dazed expression. He was getting an idea, which never ended well for me.
“Hey, Heero...”
Why couldn’t I have just gone inside when I’d had the chance?
“Can I hang out in your room? I’ll give Quatre a call later and try to get back in my room, but in the meantime, it’s you or the hallway. I mean, the hallway doesn’t call me an idiot or make that face-- that face right there-- but I’d still rather go with you.”
I sighed, pointedly.
“I need to go to sleep, Duo.”
“Don’t worry, man! You won’t even know I’m there.”
I highly doubted that would be the case. Still, I swung my door open and looked inside. My roommate’s bed laid empty and unmade.
“Trowa isn’t here,” I said. I couldn’t decide if I was grateful or not that Duo and I would be left alone.
Wait, I was inviting him in, wasn’t I? What was wrong with me? It was a quarter after twelve on a damn Tuesday night!
“Perfect!” Duo said, already bounding through the open door.
Not bothering to switch on the overhead light, he pulled his jacket and shoes off and deposited them, already forgotten, on the floor as he climbed right into my bed, pulling the covers up over his head until only his braid was visible, dangling over the side.
“What are you doing?” I stammered. I was fairly certain that this wasn’t what people meant when they used the term ‘hang out’.
“You said you had to go to sleep,” came the answer from under my sheets. “So I thought that’s what we were doing.”
“If you want to sleep, why don’t you use Trowa’s bed?”
“Trowa hasn’t given me permission to use his bed,” Duo replied.
“I haven’t given you permission to use my bed, either.”
There was a theatrical sigh from beneath the covers.
“Just close the damn door and get in here already, Heero.”
I felt a perplexing lurch in my chest at those words. The memory of lying beside Duo on the grass by the Lincoln Memorial, his hand suddenly coming up to grasp mine, came unbidden back to me. I hadn’t initiated the touch... but I hadn’t pulled away either.
It wasn’t like I couldn’t stay up a little longer, sit on the computer, wait it out until Duo was gone. Or even borrow Trowa’s bed myself and explain later if he had a problem with it. I hadn’t told Duo he could come in. I could kick him out into the hall and get some peace and quiet. Hell, the look of surprise on his face when I didn’t do what he wanted, for once, might make it worth it alone.
Instead, I gently shut the door behind me, the last sliver of fluorescent light from the hallway shrinking away until we were flushed into darkness. I let habit guide me across the room to my bed, where I sat on the corner, farthest from the Duo-shaped mass under the sheets, to remove my shoes and tuck them under the frame, then my jacket, neatly hanging it on the bedpost.
Then, clothes and all, I slid stiffly into bed beside him.
“Huh,” came the muffled voice, “I thought I’d get more of an argument out of you than that.”
The bedspreads shifted beside me, and I couldn’t say I was surprised when I felt Duo’s warm, slim arm snake around my waist. One hand heavily balanced on my chest, he lifted himself up on his elbows to look at me. I found myself inches away from him, his red-rimmed eyes gazing disarmingly into mine.
For a few eternal moments, we seemed to hover on the edge of something profound.
I didn’t know what to do, so I said something.
“What do you want to do now?”
Oral communication is, needless to say, not my strong suit.
Duo peered down at me through those overgrown bangs and smirked at the abject stupidity of my statement.
“Oh, I don’t know, Heero,” he said, “I was thinking maybe you could help me with my homework. A little late-night study session. Maybe we could pull our graphing calculators out right here in your bed and get to it.”
I opened my mouth to say something back, but Duo covered it with his own before I had the chance. And just like that, I had my first kiss with the last person anyone, including me, would have ever expected.
Entirely new sensations drowned me-- the feeling of his hot breath against my jaw, the soft, wet warmth of his eternally grinning mouth, the prickling energy that thrummed through my body at his proximity. He slipped his tongue in between my slack lips and goaded me into participating. I heard a strange, breathy sound and realized with embarrassment that it had come from me.
Duo shifted over me, maneuvering my hands to hold his hips. He snaked a leg in between mine. I drifted my palms over the rough material of his jeans, wondering where it might be okay to touch, wondering what Duo was expecting me to do. Wondering if I wanted this, if I wanted Duo, the loudmouth with the drug problem, with the never-ending litany of jokes at my expense. With the long hair and the Tuesday night death metal marathons blasting out of his room at 180 decibels. With the stupid nicknames for his roommate.
And with the eyes that shifted incessantly from blue to purple, fickle as the person attached to them. With the smirking mouth nipping and biting and sucking at my neck, the soft tongue darting out to wet my lips. With the quiet breaths warming along my skin and the maddening rhythm of his leg between mine. With the whispers of my name that made it sound like something more, with the way he had of disarming me so quickly and effortlessly.
He’d known I’d wanted him before I had, somehow. He’d seduced me right into my own bed.
I let my hands trail up his waist, beneath the hem of his faded cotton shirt. His skin was so soft, burning hot under my fingers. I had never touched another person like this before; I didn’t know it would feel so warm. I could feel muscles tensing and shifting as I palmed his body. I ran my hand slowly up the center of his back, over his spine, and he inhaled sharply and ground his crotch against my thigh, bending down again to press his mouth hard to mine. His hand snaked between my legs and began to rub rhythmically, almost hard enough to hurt, certainly hard enough to get the reaction he was looking for. When he felt me respond beneath his palm, he pulled back from my mouth to grin down at me, bright teeth flashing in the dark.
“This would be more fun if your pants were off.”
He ran a finger up the length of the zipper to reiterate.
I surprised myself with the speed with which I had my jeans off and thrown somewhere behind the bed. Duo snaked a hand into the elastic waistband of my underwear and suddenly his warm, rough hand was flush against me.
“That’s more like it,” he chuckled, and then his mouth stole mine again.
I groped him blindly, palming his chest, his abdomen, his skin incredibly warm and delicate under my touch. I found the button on his pants and worked it open, then the zipper, and I slipped both hands inside to trace the contours of his hip bones, the round planes of his ass. I felt a strange, animal feeling welling inside me, a desire both wholly new and instinctively familiar. I wanted to possess him, take him, claim him. More urgently, I wanted him naked immediately.
And it seemed Duo could tell, because he reared back and pulled his shirt over his head, chucking it in the direction of my desk. It was a testament to how lost I was in him that I didn’t even think to check to see if he had hit my computer with it. To think I would finally find something more important to me than that machine.
Duo was all lean muscle and taut skin and captivating angles. I found myself staring at the junction of his hips and stomach, exposed from my earlier fumble with his pants, my hand involuntarily reaching out to ghost fingers along the shallow dip that curved along the outline of his hip bone.
He was dangerously attractive, alarmingly so. What the hell did he want with me?
Even as he reached with one hand to pull the rest of his clothes off, he was leaning down over me again, taking my lips, pressing a fierce kiss at the corner of my mouth, tugging at my shirt. I broke away long enough to pull it over my head and his free hand grabbed my jaw to guide my mouth back against his.
I really couldn’t believe kissing actually felt like this, so tactile, so physically overwhelming. I could feel every nerve ending respond to the burning slide of Duo’s tongue into my mouth, could feel the blood rush to my lips when Duo sucked one between his teeth and bit gently down. I suddenly understood why people made such a big deal out of this. It was a big deal. He was driving me crazy.
And suddenly it was more; suddenly we were naked in my bed and it was instantly apparent what we were about to do. In a flash, Duo had broken away from my mouth to slide his lips down my chest, hands roughly following, and then he was dipping below my navel and taking me in his mouth, infuriatingly nonchalant, and I had to bite back the shout that threatened to erupt from me at the incredible sensation, the overwhelming friction of his tongue, the wet heat, the pounding in my chest at the way he was looking at me from between my legs. Jesus Christ, what was he doing to me?
I felt like I was seconds away from coming when he suddenly pulled back and crawled back up to me, breath heavy in my ear.
“Leave this to me,” he whispered.
I had no idea what he could mean. I stared stupidly up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of his words, until he pulled back to straddle my lap, reaching behind him and gripping me gently in one hand. He gave me a lopsided grin, shaking his bangs out of his eyes, and suddenly he was positioning me against him and then he was sliding himself slowly over me, pushing me into him.
God, we were really doing it. Well, he was doing it to me. I couldn’t do anything except watch the expression on Duo’s face subtly change as he lowered himself onto me. He bit his bottom lip, his thin brows furrowed with exertion, and I had the sudden urge to reach for him, pull him to me, but I didn’t want to break his concentration. I didn’t want to do anything that would make him stop what he was doing, because the feel of him sliding over me felt better than anything I could ever remember. This was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me. Duo was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me.
Slowly, he settled down onto my hips, and just like that, I was fully inside him. His expression relaxed into a comfortable smile, and all I could think was: this is it, I’m not a virgin anymore. Duo has taken my virginity. And damn, he looks so good like this.
And he did, he looked amazing. Even bloodshot eyes looked good on him. I must have been making some face as I stared up at him, because he chuckled low in his throat and leaned down over me, putting his mouth against my ear.
“You know, this is what I wanted from you all along,” he whispered. My heart twisted in my chest. I told myself it was the shiver of his breath in my ear that did it.
“Duo...”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, grinning, pulling back up, away from me, spreading his palms out along my chest. “Don’t worry, I said I got this.”
He began to rise up, pulling me out of him, and then slid back down, and I groaned at the friction, helpless to it. Again, and he seemed to find a sort of rhythm, working me in and out, and mindlessly, I found myself gripping his hips, watching him move above me, his chest glistening with sweat, flushed pink, his skin burning hot under my hands. I would never have guessed it would feel like this, so tight and warm, enveloping me, fitting me so perfectly, that something so simple could shatter my control.
Above me, Duo’s lips parted, his breath short. His violet eyes slid open, catching me in their stare.
“Mm, Heero,” he groaned, and I suddenly realized I wasn’t going to last very long at all. The sounds Duo was making, the sheen of sweat on his chest were going to make me lose control.
I tried thinking of the code problems I had been studying in the library before... before I had run into Duo on the steps. But that seemed like a thousand years ago, when I was still obsessing over a little hand-holding in the park. Codes... midterms... it was useless. I couldn’t concentrate on a damn thing other than Duo.
“Duo...” I whispered, a warning.
“Here,” he groaned, “touch me.”
He wrapped my hand around his hard, burning cock, his eyes sliding shut as I began to touch it. I was embarrassingly inept, clumsy with the distraction of his body throbbing around me, with the newness of it all. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. Duo was never going to talk to me again after this.
But then he moaned, and leaned down to kiss me. I must not have been doing quite as badly as I thought.
“I’m going to come,” he said, his voice hoarse and deep.
“Me, too,” I stammered.
He chuckled, then reared back, finding a steady, maddening rhythm above me. I tried to move my hand in time with his body, tried to hold on for as long as I could, but it was too much. I felt orgasm building in me, more intense than I’d ever felt it before. There was no comparison between touching myself half-heartedly in the dorm shower and having Duo Maxwell tease the climax out of me with his soft mouth, his warm body. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be satisfied with anything less than the real thing ever again.
I grabbed for him with my free hand, digging my fingers into the muscle of his thigh, holding on for dear life, and then I was lost to the sensation, biting back a shout as I pumped deeply into him, unable to even form the syllables to say his name. He curled a hand tight around the one I had on his cock, groaning, and then hot liquid spilled over my fingers, and even through the haze of orgasm I felt a strange sense of accomplishment. Maybe he would talk to me again after all.
I felt him slip off of me, his body weight leaving my hips. I felt suddenly chilly in the night air of the room, naked and damp.
“Do you want to clean up?” he asked, a little breathless. “We’re kind of a mess.”
I was barely cognizant enough to understand what he was asking.
“Uh...”
He laughed.
“You know what? Don’t worry about it. Here.”
He handed me something hanging off the side of the bed. A towel, my towel.
My last clean one at that.
Oh, fuck it. I grabbed it and wiped myself down a little, until I didn’t feel quite so, well, sticky. I handed it to him and collapsed back onto the bed, a thousand half-formed thoughts flying through my head.
Duo threw the towel somewhere, I could hear it land over in the vicinity of the closet. Then, he crawled back up the bed, curling up next to me and throwing his arm across my chest. I stared at the ceiling, feeling him breathe against me, wondering if I could touch him now that we had just had sex. Could I hold his hand again? I felt ridiculous for not knowing if I could.
“Do you have to go back to your room?” I said, remembering the circumstances that had somehow, improbably, brought us to this moment. Or maybe not so improbably. After all, Duo had said he had wanted this from me all along.
Immediately I realized I had said something wrong. It was like the warmth had been sucked right out of Duo, leaving a strange, awkward hush in the room. Shit. I had fucked it up, somehow.
He coughed, and shifted away from me, moving to get off the bed.
“Yeah, I guess I should,” he said quietly.
My hand shot out and reached for him, closing around his wrist.
“Wait-- I mean, I... don’t mind if you stay here.”
He peered at me under his messy bangs, a strange expression on his face.
“Heero Yuy, you must be majoring in mixed signals,” he muttered, but crawled back into my bed all the same, his back to me. After a few minutes, he reached behind him to grab my hands and pull them around to his waist, interlocking our fingers.
“Sorry,” I whispered. “I’m not very good at this.”
He chuckled and grazed his lips along the knuckles of my hand.
“It’s okay. I like you that way.”
And that was it, I supposed. He liked me the way I was, though I might never understand the reason why. And for all our differences, all the things that should have made me dislike him, I only liked him all the more. I did, didn’t I? I was crazy about him.
Maybe I should tell him, I thought.
“Duo?”
He yawned, answering in a voice that was barely audible and heavy with sleep.
“Yeah?”
But I couldn’t find the words, not over the sudden pounding in my chest.
“Good night,” I said instead.
He didn’t answer, already unconscious.
It was all right, I told myself. There had been enough revelations for one night already. He wouldn’t be mad if I waited a little bit longer, until I was a little more sure. Right? He liked me the way I was. He said so himself.
I let that thought circle around my head, until it calmed my disparate thoughts, and brought me to sleep.