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Hello I am an attempt at criticism. badassshadows June 19 2009, 07:31:28 UTC
You've written personality and backstory quite nicely, but there's some major flaws with this...

First off. Ruby technically doesn't exist in the games; you'd be apping Brendan if you were to app this character. It's okay to have a bit of animu/manga personality/backstory INFLUENCE (and only a little of it at that), but other than that, it's game canon only. So you're gonna have to do some game!rival research there for Brendan's personality (in other words, pick May as the one you play in game and you can find out what Brendan's like that way.)

Also, although you tried to leave it open, this app assumes too many things about other characters. If I were to app Sapphire (or May, rather), the backstory would have to conform to all the things you've written about her. It doesn't seem very fair to me. You can say that Brendan knows her and stuff, but you ought to leave May open to interpretation.

oh god how does I write review

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Re: Hello I am an attempt at criticism. king_of_bugs June 19 2009, 12:50:51 UTC
I have to agree with this. Ruby does seem very manga-based here and most of it sounds like it should be conformed more to a canon that would fit with the games. (What especially threw me off was the part with Birch at the beginning where he was attacked, which is quite unlike how it is in game canon if I'm remembering the game events correctly ( ... )

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Re: Hello I am an attempt at criticism. hasribbons June 19 2009, 16:14:35 UTC
Thanks for the input from both of you! Ha ha, yeah, I had a feeling that he wouldn't be app-able. It was still fun to write the app. Oh well! It's good practice if I ever decide to app another character. Thanks!

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hasbestpokemon June 19 2009, 21:19:59 UTC
I thought I hid all my past records. How did you-

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hasbestpokemon June 19 2009, 21:57:33 UTC
Hi, hi! As the former Red player and sometimes crack!mafia!Blue, I'm glad to see someone interested in playing another trainer ( ... )

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that_fella June 19 2009, 22:15:39 UTC
You should come to the dressingroom more often too. :D

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hasbestpokemon June 19 2009, 23:48:30 UTC
Ooh~ If you're one of my fans and willing to serve me, I'll gladly stop by to say hello! Hee~ <3

... wait... did a suspicious tiny Charmander sell photos of me to you?

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