It Never Showers But it Pours
Another daft prequel ficlet to my story Marriage of Convenience, which I recommend you read first, especially if the subject matter of the current ficlet raises any concerns about consent issues.
Sequel to Mother of the Bride
Setting: BtVS season 4, around the time of A New Man, though things have taken rather a different turn in this very bonkers AU.
Rating: PG-13 or very slightly over for a tiny touch of suggestive naughtiness
Pairing: See icon, but mentions of Spike/Drusilla and Spike/Harmony too.
For the prompt: 1630 Revello Drive
500 words
Thanks to dwyld for brainstorming.
It Never Showers But It Pours
"I didn't think even you could make a bridal shower suck this much." Harmony's lower lip pouted pinkly. "I don't see why I have to stay outside when the rest of you are eating candy and playing naughty games. It's boring. And cold."
Bridal etiquette book clutched to her chest, Willow gave Harmony an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Harmony. It's just that - well, see, you're invited but you're not invited." She raised her hands to make air-quotes around the word, dropped the book and bent down to pick it up.
When she straightened, Harmony had vamped out and her pout had become both poutier and fangier.
"It's not fair."
Willow opened her mouth to apologise again, but shut it hurriedly. They weren't in school any more.
"Just so you know," she said, stiffly, "we only invited you at all because we needed someone to keep Drusilla company, cuz there was no way Buffy was inviting her inside the house."
Harmony glanced over her shoulder to where, slender and pale, Drusilla stood in the middle of the dark garden, holding up her arms to the waning moon.
"Yeah, but she's, like, batshit insane. I can't think what my Spikey ever saw in her." Harmony stamped her foot. "And how come she gets to be maid of honour and not me? Last I looked, I was the one who got jilted and almost staked, not her."
Through clenched teeth, Willow gritted, "I'll get you another jug of pigs' blood to drink outside. Enjoy."
The kitchen door opened and Buffy poked her head around it. "You coming back soon, Will? I've opened my presents and you should see what Anya gave me." She grinned mischievously. "Seems my Spikey gave her a list. He's so thoughtful like that. Anya says she followed his instructions to the letter and it's eight inches long with this lovely kink, and…"
"Ahem!" Willow cleared her throat, hoping she wasn't as red-faced as she felt.
Buffy stopped mid-babble. She blinked.
"Oh hey, Harmony, how's it going?"
Harmony put her hands on her hips. "Boyfriend stealer!" she yelled, before stomping off down the porch steps. At the bottom, she turned and snarled, "And it's not even real. You're under a spell. Dummy."
As Harmony stormed past her, Drusilla sing-songed, "Bye, bye," before laughing a mocking laugh, giving Buffy a little wave, and turning her gaze back to the moon.
"Weirdo," Buffy muttered. She waved back. "Hey."
Eyes still on Drusilla, Buffy hissed, "What did Harmony mean, under a spell? I'm totally spell free. She's just jealous that Spike loves me, not her. Isn't she, Will?"
"Er…" Willow began
Later, after Buffy had to go rescue Giles from being a Fyarl demon, Willow reflected that as bridal showers went, it had kind of stunk. She'd totally learned her lesson. No invites to ex-girlfriends.
Still, Harmony may have been a party-pooper, but fortunately for Giles, at least her present - that so-called silver letter opener -was as cheap and nasty as she was.
Sequel to Mother of the Bride
Setting: BtVS season 4, around the time of A New Man, though things have taken rather a different turn in this very bonkers AU.
Rating: PG-13 or very slightly over for a tiny touch of suggestive naughtiness
Pairing: See icon, but mentions of Spike/Drusilla and Spike/Harmony too.
For the prompt: 1630 Revello Drive
500 words
Thanks to dwyld for brainstorming.
It Never Showers But It Pours
"I didn't think even you could make a bridal shower suck this much." Harmony's lower lip pouted pinkly. "I don't see why I have to stay outside when the rest of you are eating candy and playing naughty games. It's boring. And cold."
Bridal etiquette book clutched to her chest, Willow gave Harmony an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Harmony. It's just that - well, see, you're invited but you're not invited." She raised her hands to make air-quotes around the word, dropped the book and bent down to pick it up.
When she straightened, Harmony had vamped out and her pout had become both poutier and fangier.
"It's not fair."
Willow opened her mouth to apologise again, but shut it hurriedly. They weren't in school any more.
"Just so you know," she said, stiffly, "we only invited you at all because we needed someone to keep Drusilla company, cuz there was no way Buffy was inviting her inside the house."
Harmony glanced over her shoulder to where, slender and pale, Drusilla stood in the middle of the dark garden, holding up her arms to the waning moon.
"Yeah, but she's, like, batshit insane. I can't think what my Spikey ever saw in her." Harmony stamped her foot. "And how come she gets to be maid of honour and not me? Last I looked, I was the one who got jilted and almost staked, not her."
Through clenched teeth, Willow gritted, "I'll get you another jug of pigs' blood to drink outside. Enjoy."
The kitchen door opened and Buffy poked her head around it. "You coming back soon, Will? I've opened my presents and you should see what Anya gave me." She grinned mischievously. "Seems my Spikey gave her a list. He's so thoughtful like that. Anya says she followed his instructions to the letter and it's eight inches long with this lovely kink, and…"
"Ahem!" Willow cleared her throat, hoping she wasn't as red-faced as she felt.
Buffy stopped mid-babble. She blinked.
"Oh hey, Harmony, how's it going?"
Harmony put her hands on her hips. "Boyfriend stealer!" she yelled, before stomping off down the porch steps. At the bottom, she turned and snarled, "And it's not even real. You're under a spell. Dummy."
As Harmony stormed past her, Drusilla sing-songed, "Bye, bye," before laughing a mocking laugh, giving Buffy a little wave, and turning her gaze back to the moon.
"Weirdo," Buffy muttered. She waved back. "Hey."
Eyes still on Drusilla, Buffy hissed, "What did Harmony mean, under a spell? I'm totally spell free. She's just jealous that Spike loves me, not her. Isn't she, Will?"
"Er…" Willow began
Later, after Buffy had to go rescue Giles from being a Fyarl demon, Willow reflected that as bridal showers went, it had kind of stunk. She'd totally learned her lesson. No invites to ex-girlfriends.
Still, Harmony may have been a party-pooper, but fortunately for Giles, at least her present - that so-called silver letter opener -was as cheap and nasty as she was.