In An Institution (PG)
Title In An Institution
Author Brutti ma buoni
Rating PG
Prompt *Just* married
Words 675
Setting BtVS season 4
A/N There's some handwaving needed here for this to make sense. Sometime after Something Blue, in a slightly AU season four, it's becoming clear that Spike just hiding out in a crypt or a basement isn't enough. The Scoobies still need Spike, the Initiative's plans are bigger, and longer term, than in canon. Drastic action is required.
A/N2 As so many commenters seemed to want, this ficlet has spawned more in this verse. Unholy Wedlock is here. Click at your own risk.
"Giles… before we actually get the license… Are we sure this is absolutely necessary? I mean, we're taking our strategic ideas from a backfiring spell, and that can't be good."
Spike took up Buffy's plaint with his own particular spin. "Plus, I saw Green Card, and I know where this arranged marriage shit leads. Me being carted off by one of your charming government officials. Slayer all devastated and forlorn. Could be hilarious."
"Shut up Spike."
"Shut up Spike."
"Shut up both of you. 'Specially you, Rupert. This was your bloody stupid idea in the first place. Not very Watcherly of you."
"I'm well aware that this is not the ideal scenario. But we don't have an endless supply of unmarried women who might conceivably marry a vampire, and one of those we do have is an ex-demon who has herself many of the issues currently affecting you, Spike, and would, frankly, be bugger all use as a beard."
Spike's snorting laughter overlaid Buffy's murmured, "Giles, maybe you should calm-", and Giles's eye-popping stress cut her off in mid-soothe.
"Look. We need Spike for the foreseeable future. He's critical to taking down the Initiative, and this isn't going to be a speedy process. They are looking to recapture a fugitive, ergo, we cannot have an obvious fugitive on our hands. Ergo, Spike needs an identity. We can fake some things, but without the Council's backing we don't have access to the kind of paperwork I'm used to. A fake marriage to an American citizen is the quickest option we have. You are unmarried and able to hold your own in a fight with a vampire should his chip malfunction. Therefore you, Buffy, will marry this godforsaken creature of the night for the sake of saving the world. Is that sufficient, or should I recapitulate some more?"
"Breathe, Giles. Just breathe." She paused, and drew her own breath in before, "Yes. I get it. I guess this is just another Slayer sacrifice."
"Bloody odd one. Bet they've never let one of their girls do this before." Spike looked pleased, if only at the imagined reaction of the Council to a Slayer-Vampire marriage. Even just a fake. Buffy still barely believed he was going along with this. But then, she didn't fully believe she was going along with it either. It had been an insane idle suggestion of Giles's, that had snowballed into a plan, and now was almost becoming a reality.
She too had seen said crappy movie. She imagined herself answering questions about Spike to a couple of suspicious types from Immigration. I've known him since I was sixteen. We met at the Bronze. He calls me cutie and he likes the way I move. He helped out when I had major issues with my ex. He moved away, but when he came back to town, he always came to see me. My mom likes him. I know he won't hurt me - he physically can't do such a thing. He likes people, punk, dog racing, soccer. I wish he didn’t smoke, but the coat is very cool. I can't get used to him now he's shaved off his hair; it used to be platinum blond, can you believe? But it worked, for him. Oh, yeah. And he believes in love, real, passionate die-for-you love. He'd move mountains for the woman he loves. Literal mountains, probably.
It sounded horribly convincing to her internal dialogue. She actually did know Spike pretty well. What was more, he probably knew her likewise. Which was a reason not to do this. Obviously.
Which did not explain why the next thing that came out of her mouth was, "Okay. Let's do this. It's just marriage. Not as if we have to-"
She finally cut herself off. Not before Giles shuddered. Not before Spike grinned, tilted his head at her, and silently promised that, okay, they might not have to, but it wasn't going to stop him trying.
That wasn't exciting. Not at all.
No way.
*
Author Brutti ma buoni
Rating PG
Prompt *Just* married
Words 675
Setting BtVS season 4
A/N There's some handwaving needed here for this to make sense. Sometime after Something Blue, in a slightly AU season four, it's becoming clear that Spike just hiding out in a crypt or a basement isn't enough. The Scoobies still need Spike, the Initiative's plans are bigger, and longer term, than in canon. Drastic action is required.
A/N2 As so many commenters seemed to want, this ficlet has spawned more in this verse. Unholy Wedlock is here. Click at your own risk.
"Giles… before we actually get the license… Are we sure this is absolutely necessary? I mean, we're taking our strategic ideas from a backfiring spell, and that can't be good."
Spike took up Buffy's plaint with his own particular spin. "Plus, I saw Green Card, and I know where this arranged marriage shit leads. Me being carted off by one of your charming government officials. Slayer all devastated and forlorn. Could be hilarious."
"Shut up Spike."
"Shut up Spike."
"Shut up both of you. 'Specially you, Rupert. This was your bloody stupid idea in the first place. Not very Watcherly of you."
"I'm well aware that this is not the ideal scenario. But we don't have an endless supply of unmarried women who might conceivably marry a vampire, and one of those we do have is an ex-demon who has herself many of the issues currently affecting you, Spike, and would, frankly, be bugger all use as a beard."
Spike's snorting laughter overlaid Buffy's murmured, "Giles, maybe you should calm-", and Giles's eye-popping stress cut her off in mid-soothe.
"Look. We need Spike for the foreseeable future. He's critical to taking down the Initiative, and this isn't going to be a speedy process. They are looking to recapture a fugitive, ergo, we cannot have an obvious fugitive on our hands. Ergo, Spike needs an identity. We can fake some things, but without the Council's backing we don't have access to the kind of paperwork I'm used to. A fake marriage to an American citizen is the quickest option we have. You are unmarried and able to hold your own in a fight with a vampire should his chip malfunction. Therefore you, Buffy, will marry this godforsaken creature of the night for the sake of saving the world. Is that sufficient, or should I recapitulate some more?"
"Breathe, Giles. Just breathe." She paused, and drew her own breath in before, "Yes. I get it. I guess this is just another Slayer sacrifice."
"Bloody odd one. Bet they've never let one of their girls do this before." Spike looked pleased, if only at the imagined reaction of the Council to a Slayer-Vampire marriage. Even just a fake. Buffy still barely believed he was going along with this. But then, she didn't fully believe she was going along with it either. It had been an insane idle suggestion of Giles's, that had snowballed into a plan, and now was almost becoming a reality.
She too had seen said crappy movie. She imagined herself answering questions about Spike to a couple of suspicious types from Immigration. I've known him since I was sixteen. We met at the Bronze. He calls me cutie and he likes the way I move. He helped out when I had major issues with my ex. He moved away, but when he came back to town, he always came to see me. My mom likes him. I know he won't hurt me - he physically can't do such a thing. He likes people, punk, dog racing, soccer. I wish he didn’t smoke, but the coat is very cool. I can't get used to him now he's shaved off his hair; it used to be platinum blond, can you believe? But it worked, for him. Oh, yeah. And he believes in love, real, passionate die-for-you love. He'd move mountains for the woman he loves. Literal mountains, probably.
It sounded horribly convincing to her internal dialogue. She actually did know Spike pretty well. What was more, he probably knew her likewise. Which was a reason not to do this. Obviously.
Which did not explain why the next thing that came out of her mouth was, "Okay. Let's do this. It's just marriage. Not as if we have to-"
She finally cut herself off. Not before Giles shuddered. Not before Spike grinned, tilted his head at her, and silently promised that, okay, they might not have to, but it wasn't going to stop him trying.
That wasn't exciting. Not at all.
No way.
*